The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Summer into Autumn 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice, solidarity and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. We love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too. You're here because you are strong and want to pull free. However ashamed and wretched you are feeling right now, as you read this sentence, I can absolutely guarantee that someone here has felt exactly as you do now and knows what you are enduring. It can change. You are not shameful. You are strong and you CAN do this.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.

I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.

These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.

Evenings are drawing in, the season of hot chocolate approaches. Power up with your favourite anthem (The ever-fabulous Dolly is reminding us "Better Get To Livin'"; and the Wilson Phillips girls "Hold On" in hot pursuit) and find your safe space here. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Morning.

i wonder if I might slope onto the thread and follow @SwiftyFifty. I originally contributed to a thread in January for folk that wanted to go 100 days without alcohol, thinking Dry January wasn’t quite enough to really examine and reset my relationship with booze. I’ve had 3 blips since then, but still here. The first was when my DF was on end of life in January and I just didn’t have the tools to not drink. The last two times have been more recent, involved one small glass only and just a total disappointment and non event when I thought I’d really enjoy that one glass. So my problem isn’t moderating, and the two discretions have (sort of) been ‘useful’ as that curiosity box is ticked and I’m not building a fantasy around the taste or enjoyment of one or two glasses on occasion, it simply gives me nothing.

I’ve done a lot of reading, listening and sitting with difficult feelings rather than drinking that I’m sure you all have and I hope you don’t mind me contributing too.

Ah no, sorry to hear that @pinkclouds26

Hope you feel better soon 🌺

Hello @needastrongone . 👋

I only joined about two weeks ago (and I had a blip four days in).

I’ve always had a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol. Managed to give it up once for eight months and then again seven months. Also had a few stints of three months, two months, Dry January etc.

But I stupidly always go back to drinking.
And I can’t moderate. I can go days without, or even weeks and months, but once I start there’s no off switch.

Determined to keep going this time though.

Sorry to hear about your father. 🌺

Hi @GunnelVallquist, thank you. I wasn’t close to DF in truth, but I found sitting with him during end of life care quite grim being honest. What’s taken you back to alcohol do you think? Is it stress or boredom of anything else. I think my couple of glasses was thinking I’d got to a place where I can moderate and it turns out I can, but it actually tastes like crap and even on one, I slept terribly both times and felt quite spaced out after one glass and not in that ‘first drink buzz’ way. And this notion we build up of really enjoying the odd drink on a hot summer day or a red wine by an open fire notion just isn’t there for me anymore.

I did have a sort of flickering feeling last night. We are away on holiday for a week and drove there yesterday. It’s a super long drive and DH is disabled following a stroke now so I have to do it all, including all the getting sorted out on arrival. I did feel like a glass of something to relax when I finally sat down but I think that was muscle memory from previous trips here and I had a large glass of water, which for some reason tastes bloody lovely here 🤣

@needastrongone welcome.

Morning ships crew.

When I started drinking at the eight month point again it was due to us having moved yet again (we used to move around a hell of a lot due to my husband’s job) and me not liking it where we were.

The second time (at the seven month point) was because we were going to my home country and I was nervous/ scared as I hadn’t been back in four years and hadn’t seen my family since.

As it turned out I didn’t get to see them anyway, but that’s another story.

We’re supposed to go and meet up with them at the end of the month but I’m still not sure I want to go.

We’ve always had a complicated relationship (especially my mother) and they have contributed significantly to my depression over the decades (sounds like an excuse, doesn’t it?).

I hope you have a nice holiday.

Morning @WendyWagon .

@FiloPasty that P&P is my go-to comfort watch as well! I’m a total Janeite… 😍 It’s the repository of the best Mr Collins ever in David Bamber, though he was supposed to be a snotty younger man in the book...

@REP22 is that you and our @WendyWagon in that pic? Sid looks like a Regency maiden in his bonnet… I do not feel he would be offended by the comparison… I hope he heals well. We paid more than that for our cat’s teeth last year, then she died six months later… But at least lived out those months in dental comfort. They are worth it! 🥰

@pinkclouds26 sorry to hear of your 'house tummy', get well soon… Our kitten boy has had a sloppy botty the last two days, will take a sample to the vet tomorrow if it’s no better… They did have their parasite drops last Friday, but 9 days seems a bit of a late reaction to that…

@needastrongone I think it can still be difficult when we’re not close to a parent, a strange territory to navigate… 🤗 Isn’t it true, though, that when we drink after a break, we really notice what a dulling, numbing and unpleasant sensation it is? Not the buzz that we perceived before - but of course, we were simply assuaging a withdrawal then… filling a hole that we’d created in the first place…

Anyway, last night we had lovely steak with a stilton sauce, watched Last Night of the Proms… and I woke in the small hours with a dreadful - I guess migraine? - that felt exactly like a hangover! Absolutely banging one-sided headache, guts roiling, bilious… 🤮 Awake for three hours, had to put an ice pack on my head and dose on codeine to get back to sleep… Reminded me that I used to do that to myself voluntarily… 😦

(Anyway, lots better today, which wouldn't happen with a hangover - they would get worse through the day until I drank again...).

Have a good Sunday, all!

Hi @needastrongone I was also on the original 100 days thread with you and swifty.

Rep and I went to what used to be a very posh pub frequented by the great and the bad of the racing set. Sadly sold back to the brewery and no longer a posho. I actually didn't think about the booze.
I was waiting to see if the former owner came in. He looks like Erol Flynn. Very 'uplifting'.

Good afternoon shipmates and welcome to our new crew members.

Practical Magic 2 was great. Thoroughly enjoyed it. I had an alcohol free Prosecco to take in with me and it tasted like apple juice. It was fine - in a way just nice to have something in a posh glass. I don't like having things in a tumbler- just because I don't drink doesn't mean I don't want the posh glass.

The P&P film is my comfort watch but I do also like the BBC version when I need something to get into over a few hours. I've been looking at the cast for the new one and realised that it's Mr Bennet I fancy now rather than Darcy.

Thank you for the welcomes and hello @anewyearthisyear.

Families are really complicated aren’t they @GunnelVallquist, I’m sure you’ll hear more about mine at some stage - but definitely they don’t sound like an excuse - it’s so hard when the people you might imagine to be your greatest support are just the opposite. I’m slowly feeling confident enough to not feel guilty about not having certain members in my life and I hope you feel peace in whatever way works for you too.

Migraines are grim @Gribouille - it’s actually one thing I remember my mum struggling with, probably around menopause - she used to be sick with the pain and wiped out the whole of the next day. I get them occasionally. I can’t quite grasp how I used to voluntarily inflict these symptoms on myself by drinking. Hope you’re okay.

Hello Shipmates,

A hearty welcome to you @needastrongone - I'm glad you have found us. It does sound like life is tough for you at the moment; you are very brave. Lots of lovely people here to support you.

I hope you feel better soon @pinkclouds26 and @Gribouille - and that your kitty's botty will be on the mend soon. Sid would love to be a Regency maiden, he will be thrilled.

I don't begrudge a single penny spent on Sid, but only if treatment is the best and most loving route. He's got plenty of good swashbuckling years left in him yet. I used to work in an emergency out of hours vet as a second job. We once had a semi-regular client who had 7 cats, lived on a very busy road and they were frequently struck by cars, sadly. One came in in a very bad way. The vet gave his advice, which was to bring the poor cat's torment to an end. The lady declined, and against all advice took it off to a well-known vet who basically reconstructed most of its skeleton with (I think) titanium. It cost in the region of £25,000. Just over a week later, she let the cats out again and it was again struck by a car but this time killed instantly. She was furious - but with the vets, not her own heedless folly. Frequently I thought that there are people who really should not have pets, let alone kids, but we had to keep professionally schtum.

Glad you enjoyed the film @Lavrander - our local cinema does lovely posh milkshakes. But they serve them in jam jars.

Strength and courage. It will be alright. xx

Evening all.

My anxiety is through the roof and I have changed my mind at least fifty times today about going home at the end of the month.

No wine to help me.

Sorry @needastrongone ; didn’t mean to quote you! 🤦🏼‍♀️

Hey ladies,I'm just checking in , I was on the last thread and follow everyone's posts but often can't think of anything to say 😂 still sober and keeping going. Welcome any newbies ,you can do it.
After a busy summer Ive taken out my adult colouring books ,I've been surprised how calming I'm finding this activity. Perhaps worth a try if anyone is in need of nice relaxation.

Morning all.

Up to early. Having issues with the DD and DH re the cottage.

I will not drink today

Morning!
Hi @Teaforthetotal I like the idea of those colouring books. I'm depending too much time on my phone again and I'm getting no pleasure from it. I'm glad I grew up before smart phones became 'a thing' so I know that I'm perfectly capable of finding nice things to do.
It's funny really - I remember adult colouring books from my childhood as I used to buy them for my dad. They weren't marketed as mindful activities then!

I like sewing or ironing.
I'll get my coat!

Happy Monday morning, all! 🌸

@WendyWagon , mutiny in the ranks? Do you think it's just collywobbles, or something deeper? Good luck finding a solution.

BTW I love that you and @REP22 and Sid met at a pub! That's balls-out sobering! And of course, that's the point - alcohol is everywhere, the UK is drenched in it - the 'can't have Christmas without a drink' adverts will be along any minute - and we develop mental blinkers to allow us to trot blithely through it all! 🐴

(Talking of adverts, I'm laughing at that one for a certain mass-market wine lately - love the groovy fishing guy, but those people who are supposed to be having a party look so uncomfortable and incongruous together! Not appealing at all...). 😄

I have challenges this week but will handle them step-by-step. Onwards!

Morning.

Thank you for the continued welcomes, much appreciated. Yep - life has certainly changed a lot in the last 4 years - I’m slowly processing it as and when my head will let me. I’m a huge fan of dogs though! Proud owner of a gentle old Spaniel, we lost our other old boy last year.

I like the idea of posting that you won’t drink that day to set up good habit and intention.

@GunnelVallquist - what does your instinct tell you about going home, what’s your gut reaction?

We’ve brought some jigsaws on holiday with us, so I’m looking forward to this mindful practice, otherwise I’ll doomscroll too.

I’m a running freak too, so you’ll get used to me - I’ve had a lovely trot round the costal paths here this morning, too foggy to actually see the sea but head clearing nonetheless.

Have a super day everyone. I will not drink today.

Morning shipmates.

I had an awful night - I didn’t sleep at all and had a horrible sense of dread. I hope it was a one-off, as it was very unpleasant. I’m out tonight but will have a lie in and see if I can get some sleep.

Hi all - I missed the bus when the thread moved! Glad to find you again!

Welcome @needastrongone - a fellow runner here. Really got into it after I stopped drinking- I needed something to do with all that morning I suddenly had! Has Allie Bailey’s There is No Wall made it onto your reading list?

Glad you tracked us down @taylorean !!

Sorry about the bad night @ShyMaryEllen - sleep deprivation is brutal

Reaching out of the Emergency Door to pull you aboard the back of the bus with all the naughty kids... 😼🚌

But don't disturb @ShyMaryEllen who needs a nap... get one, girl! ALWAYS worth having a nap, if you can swing it!

@needastrongone I grew up with springer spaniels, though they were working dogs - they named them well, they're anything but gentle! - but smashing dogs...

I'm Team Cat myself, but don't tell Sid... 🤫 (He's an honourable exception anyway)...