I think my DH is an alcoholic. He has drunk 2-4 beers/ciders every night since I have known him- 25 years.
As we got into our 30s and had children I regularly expressed concern that he drak over the recommended amount and how he was at risk of becoming alcohol dependent. Hi dad was an alcoholic and died in his 50s as a result of the side effects.
In the last 3-4 years he has started drinking gin - neat and with mixers. At first I wasn't too concerned as it would just be a drink at night and I like gin.However I have caught him 3 times now hiding gin in the garage and drinking there. The first couple of times were about two years ago- I lost the plot but he just shit down - I did thought get him to agree to cut down on his drinking.
A couple of weeks ago I found 3 bottles of gin in the garage- one nearly full and the others pretty much empty. He claimed that they had bn there ages- I don't believe him but got nowhere asking him to stop lying to me. I made him pour away all the gin including a couple of bottles that were in the kitchen. He still didn't see that there was a problem- saying it was a waste of money to pour it away. I begged him to completely stop drinking spirits.
Since then I have had strong suspicions that he has still drinking gin- smell/taste on breath too many trips to the garage etc. Anyway I was away this weekend and my adult DD spoke to me concerned about her dad's drinking- lots of cans of cider and neat gin- she said there was a nearly empty bottle im the kitchen before i got home yesterday that was now gone- there was also a full one. I went to garage and found the nearly empty one. Have emptied both bottles down the sink and thrown them away.ive also messaged him and am waiting for him to come from work (in a pub - ha!) What should I say/do? Should I get rid of all the cider as well- about 10 cans- and insist on no alcohol at all in the house?
About 2 years ago when the secret drinking happened I threatened to leave him if he carried on. I don't want us to split up though- I just want him to stop drinking.
He's also beginning to have some health issues that are almost certainly drink related. Long story but after forcing him to get tests his iron is raised and a scan shows some fat on his liver. I am so upset he has carried on drinking -it feels like he doesn't care about his health and his drinking is beginning to affect our children- the eldest now but the others are teens and not stupid.
I know there's not an easy answer but I really don't know what to do- right now after finding out he's drinking gin again and longer term. Just previewed this and it is so long! Thanks for bearing with me if you made it to the end.