The support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Summer 2026

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.
There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.
Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.
The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.
So climb aboard and join the shipmates (as well as our dog mascot Sid!) and see how good alcohol free life can be.

Great stuff @TwoNicePuppies !!

@taylorean I'm sorry you didn't get the job. I didn't either this week ( I applied to two charities). There is something better out there for you.
Recruitment is down the toilet at the moment. No mw jobs or big cheese roles. I'm avoiding LinkedIn as it's so depressing and I haven't got little children to feed. Can you say what you do, or is too outing?

Can I join please, I was on a thread a couple of years ago under an old user name and ashamed to say I am back at day 1, I managed 6 months alcohol free then and stupidly decided I could have a few on a trip. I have had a few false starts since, but I am hoping this time it sticks.

Welcome back @pinkclouds26 . No shame at being on day 1 - the important thing is that you’ve drawn your line in the sand.

Do you have a plan for how you’re going to get through this evening?

Evening all. Welcome back @pinkclouds26.
Really pleased you had such a good day @TwoNicePuppies- more proof for you that you can do without.
Well.. I'd arrange to go out this morning with my sister but she'd 'popped around' to a neighbours last night and this morning she was too hungover to come. I was of course sympathetic but felt a) a bit put out and b) sort of unable to say I felt put out lest I come off holier than thou.
But I can tell you shipmates that I was bloody annoyed. We would have had a nice morning and we've both missed out.
Never mind. Had husband for company and Arthur dog.

I will not drink today 💖

Looking glam in a fabulous garden, @WendyWagon , what a lovely notion! 💐💋

Well done all who went out socially and expected a challenge but, actually, managed it well! What success! I've heard people say they thought everyone would be drinking at events, but actually, they weren't, it was them all along... Alas, in my case, I seem to know a lot of people who lean heavily on alcohol, even as they get older and it takes more of a toll... I can see why - this growth stuff takes work, and not everyone's up for it! They see the glow and the energy I get and say 'Oh, I'm going to take a month off' or 'I'm going to do a detox'... but it's not a fad, it's a life change... Let them do their thing, but I'm happier with my way...

This weekend I did a load of painting in the garden, pushing through a wrenched back, and this morning I am exhausted and sore... My habit has always been push push push, then drink because 'look how much I pushed!' It was an addictive cycle of drama, of boom and bust...

Now I'm thinking 'Eh - maybe don't push yourself so much? Maybe pace it and have some balance in your life?' So going to pay a bit into the health bank today, bit of R'n'R., and think about change going forward... and that feels like progress, and true respect for myself...

Have a great week, Sober Shipmates! 🦴 for Sid, you salty sea dog. xx

Well I disgraced myself yesterday.
I'll say no more because I know it can be triggering. I'm deeply ashamed. I did something awful.

If I had the money I'd go to rehab.

Oh no @WendyWagon- what happened? And by that I mean you don't need to describe the day, but just mean can you share what lead to it?
I think I remember you saying that perhaps AA isn't for you but if you're thinking rehab would some in person meetings help at all?

Wendy, whatever it was it will diminish in time. Please don’t let shame overpower you. You’ll get through this.

@WendyWagon well done for posting today and not letting a blip (whatever that looked like) become a slip! Back on the ship with us all, keep on posting, I post little but read often and love seeing all you regulars daily. 💐

@Lavrander I went to my cousin's for lunch. She drinks daily. I normally say no and yesterday I said yes. As she drinks so much I didn't notice how much was going in me.
I was bloody awful. Big fall out.

I have been under enormous pressure re the legal matter and trying to find a new home.

So sorry @WendyWagon . We are not bad people trying to be good- we are messy works in progress, trying to hold it all together as best we can. Sometimes it just all gets too much.
You know the advice, because you’ve given it with love many times to others - plenty of water, rest, and be kind to yourself. It will be ok.

@WendyWagon you’ll be feeling particularly dreadful today, but if will pass. It sounds like it was a bit chaotic yesterday. You live with your version and your cousin is probably going through her own awfulness today. Maybe some time apart and a chat in a week or so is all that’s needed to mend that relationship.

Thank you @postcard I had a shouting match with someone too (not my cousin or DH). Very embarrassing,
I expect a plod visit.

Alcohol is a horrible drug and it turns me into an aggressive nutcase.
I've stayed in bed today. My head's a walnut.
I wish I could take a pill and it would stop.
I've tried so hard over four and a half years.

I told my husband a deep family secret a few weeks ago and I wish I hadn't. It's brought all sorts of poop to the surface. It's going around and around in my head.

We can all make excuses as to why we drink.
I actually started to hide in the booze at 14.
Something awful happened to me when I was a child and I thought I was going to have to go through that again. I know for some alcohol is a take it or leave it choice but for me it has always locked away the pain. If I'm troubled it was my way of coping but it's a lie of course. It ruined my health and relationships.
I stopped my therapy after ten months as I was in such a good place. I didn't think I needed it but I obviously do. I shall make that call tomorrow with a clear head.
Thank you all for the support.

Ah it's shit isn't it. I'm sorry @WendyWagon.
I wish I could take away the pain from you too. Make the call tomorrow. All you can do is keep trying x

Aww, Wends @WendyWagon , I wish I could reach through the screen and give you a hug... 🤗 I was thinking how much pressure you've been under with your home search for such a long time, it keeps coming in waves, and you meet it with a feisty attitude and a rueful wit, but it must take a toll...

And then to meet with someone who, I'm guessing, you've only really ever socialised with over a lot of drink in the past? And family always poke old, buried wounds... Perfect storm for you, really.

But so proud of you for coming back, getting it out there into the light, and making this a chance to learn and come back stronger. If nothing else, it's been a confirmation that it really is worth it for you!

Be very very kind to yourself for a couple of days, that's a physical and emotional shock to go through. But you've got this. You don't have to do it perfectly, you just have to keep up the commitment, keep the faith. 💐

@WendyWagon ❤️❤️❤️

I will not drink today 🌻

Morning all.
It rained at 4am this morning! A very welcome sound

Morning all.

@Gribouille you are right my cousin's family are big drinkers, always were. You can't go there and not see it. I managed it last year.

Luckily I did have a kind message from her last night. I've sent flowers. She told me a tale about being trollied at my mother's funeral. I had no idea. I wasn't drinking. It was tinder box but I had a big dramatic family. Lots no longer with us.

I'm off for a second viewing of the cottage with the beautiful garden. DD is coming with me. It's too much money but it was only updated in 2023 so I've nothing to do there. It's 30% smaller than our current home but we don't use 40% (I do love a calculation).
We've got plenty of interest on the let here but nowhere to go. I was hoping to save some money so I don't feel guilty for not working.

I really do appreciate your support. It's been a tough year.

@Onewildandpreciouslife I think it rained here too. Hoorah.

Morning,

I am coming to you live from day 2. I haven't had a day 2 for five years. I have a lot of noise in my head about this, the biggest thing is that I feel I'm not doing this the 'right' way, which ultimately has to be false. I drink 1 - 1.5 bottles of wine per day, I can safely stop without needing medical intervention. But I don't feel I have any stabilisers on. I've not done the work, I've just managed to avoid wine for one evening. I mean, to minimise that is actually quite cruel because I haven't managed to not drink for one day since 2020, and I have made multiple attempts. But, even so.

I'm going on holiday next week so this week could have simply been a write off, and maybe it will be, I don't know.

I've done day 1. This is day 2.

I promise you that you can do this, because I did! I had been drinking regularly from the age of 15 and it took until my 50s to stop - I was the expert on reasons (excuses) to drink. And the number of times that I 'cut down'...

The two things that helped me the most were these: the realisation that the 'good' bits about drinking were the anticipation and the first mouthful - everything after that was a disappointment but I kept drinking to try to find that 'high' again; finding substitutes (I know this doesn't work for everyone).

Keep going @DidILeaveTheGasOn 🌻