The support thread for those trying to lead an alcohol free life - Summer 2026

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.
There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.
Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.
The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.
So climb aboard and join the shipmates (as well as our dog mascot Sid!) and see how good alcohol free life can be.

@Headinthecloudsfeetontheground thank you, that's a wise point to make - as evidence by our @WendyWagon just there! I certainly felt better for sharing my frustrations here yesterday - and getting real, but firm, understanding - for which I am grateful. The moderation thread may work for others, but I find it quite a sad place - a graphic example of that saying: 'Moderation is all the work of Alcohol Free without any of the benefits'! 😉

As it is, I stuck with it, had a delicious Fever Tree pink grapefruit soda with tons of ice and a slice of orange - t'was balm to my parched soul - and was feeling better by bed - stayed there determinedly until I'd notched up 8 hours - and therefore feel SOOOO much better today! 🤪 I often do after I've struggled and won.

And I couldn't disappoint Sid. @REP22 , he's giving 'Good morning, Clarice' vibes there... 😂

@UnderSkies , I empathise with your family weekend, just had one! Yes, take your own delish AF drinks - also, make sure you're sufficiently fed and watered BEFORE you go - and take Time Outs if you can/need to. Can you take kids or dogs for a walk? Find little chores to help with to take you hors de combat? And be aware that the initial discomfort only lasts the first half hour, max - once everyone else starts drinking, they'll care less what you have. Be ready to say 'I'll start with a soft drink because I'm thirsty' and it'll be easier from there. Good luck!

Indeed - a marvellous or a restful weekend to one and all, as your requirements dictate! @WendyWagon , you could bury enemies in your potager! It's something to consider...

🤩

@Headinthecloudsfeetontheground that's a great point!

I was looking at my life yesterday as a whole portfolio after a failed job interview. I felt low.

But - alongside all the disappointments, I'm genuinely proud that I've become a non-drinker, in a society hostile to non-drinkers, where it's pushed hard - including by loved ones.

I've also kept it going after being put on a fairly restrictive diet, which
rules out lots of alternative treats. I've learned that looking to food and drink for a daily reward for being a doormat Good Girl is selling myself short 😂

We're worth more, goddamit!

@Gribouille - Sid has asked me to get my packet of broad beans out of the freezer. 😯

Really inspiring posts here just lately; keeping me going. You are all amazing.

Strength and courage to you. Have a lovely weekend. Rain forecast here on Monday! 🤞x

I have so many manufactured excuses for drinking. If I think about not drinking I feel panicked. I don't know how to do one evening without drinking. Sometimes it's a real struggle to get to 4pm without a drink.
One contributor is I was injured and ended up practically housebound for over a year. I have since had surgery and fully recovered, physically. In that time, my world got very small and my anxiety got very large. I tried to drive my daughter to the shops at the weekend and had to turn back because I was about to have a panic attack. We only made it two miles from the house.
If I stay like this, wrapping myself up in the cotton wool of alcohol, my life will stay very small, and the anxiety will stay very large. And in fact the amount I need to drink to achieve cotton wool will continue to increase.
Perhaps I just need to start with going for a walk.

Bless you. Time to think about some breathing exercises perhaps? They’re good for mind and body.

You're probably already aware of this, but alcohol feeds anxiety. We think it doesn’t because it initially relaxes us but, over a 24 hour period it actually ramps up the anxiety.

Something that helped me (and I still remember, from all those years ago, the panic that I too felt about stopping) was to work out exactly what it was about drinking that I really enjoyed. It was the anticipation (soon I’m going to have a cold, dry white wine) and the first mouthful (that ‘aaahh’ moment). That was it.

So maybe don’t think about never having another drink: just don’t have that first mouthful. You can do it. If I can, ANYone can!

The cruel thing @DidILeaveTheGasOn is that the alcohol will be making your anxiety worse- drinking alcohol with anxiety is like trying to put out a fire by throwing petrol on it.

First question- do you think it is safe for you to stop drinking completely? If you’ve been drinking very heavily, stopping suddenly can be dangerous, so it might be worth discussing with your GP whether you need to taper.

That said, when you are ready to stop / cut down, it helps to build a “tool kit” of things to help you. A walk when you would normally drink is a great idea. Treat yourself to a new book. Decide on a series to binge watch. Get yourself some nice soft drinks. Anything to break the pattern, distract you, give your hands something to do. Some of our number love guided meditation apps.Plan this like your life depends on it, because you deserve a life that is fulfilling.

I would also recommend the Alcohol Experiment by Annie Grace - it’s a guide to the first 30 days of not drinking alcohol, and is really helpful at challenging the beliefs we hold about it.

And post here as much as you need. We have all been where you are now. Good luck

I will not drink today

Well ahoy there and welcome @DidILeaveTheGasOn. Alcohol is so cruel in tricking us into thinking it's helping us, when in fact it makes it all worse.

I completely agree re posting more. It's my routine now and I might miss a day or two but just posting anything keeps my sobriety in check. It's become part of my day and keeps the intention front and centre.

How was the house @WendyWagon? I'm team having it done already but you'd only have to look at my curtains to realise that about me. If you enjoy a project then go for it.

@Gribouilleyou are very wise! You're right - the first half an hour is what you need to get through @UnderSkies. I think @Onewildandpreciouslifemay have also advised before I had a family do in earlier days as well that you just practice saying no on three occasions. Once you've got that out the way people will stop caring. Keep running over in your head all the ways you can say no. You don't owe it to your family to drink and you are NOT letting anyone down by going to bed sober and waking up fresh as a daisy.

I went to a real book shop today and bought the latest Philip Pullman. Going to wile away the weekend devouring it.

Sorry about the interview @taylorean. It's one thing. Lots to be proud of. But still, I realise it must be very disappointing.

I can’t claim the “say no 3 times” wisdom, although it’s very good advice!

Evening everyone. My daughter left this morning after staying for a few days, and my son and DIL are arriving this evening for a long weekend. MIL is unwell, so they are making sure they've seen her in case things get worse.

It's lovely to see them, but I find it stressful to have people in my space for days at a time, and even though we all lived together for years that was some time ago, and they've got their own ways of doing things now, which can be really irritating to a grumpy soul like me. I could have done with a couple of days with nobody here to decompress, but 'on with the motley' and all that.

@WendyWagon, I too would be tempted by Cottage 2, but I guess it depends on (a) what it would cost to do Cottage 1 up, and (b) how big a percentage of the price the £100k represents. If you're renting now, you could get work done without living in a building site, and get everything as you want it to be.

One thing I couldn't face now is doing a house up gradually. We've done it twice, and it's very different when you're young and enthusiastic from when you're old and bored with it. We changed the kitchen and bathroom a couple of years ago, and decorated throughout the house. There was no real building work, but it was grim, even though on the whole, individual tasks didn't take particularly long.

I well remember going out for breakfast every day in the snow, as builders were in the kitchen. It felt quite bohemian at first, but the novelty wore off quickly. The thought of having extended periods with strange men turning the power off randomly and always being in the only functional bathroom when you need a wee makes my blood run cold, as does following them into the bathroom when they've been in there for hours. Also, I hate feeling 'watched' in my own home, and hate even more the attempts at friendly behaviour where they comment on what I'm doing (eg watching Homes Under The Hammer, as I can't work for the noise and intermittent power outages) as though that's what I'd be doing if they weren't there, getting in the bloody way all the time. . . Right, I'd better take a blood pressure tablet now 😵‍💫.

I will not drink today

Morning all.
Cottage no 2 was small but the garden spectacular. Not sure, the heat has fried my brain.

I watched Monty to test what matters more.
DS here with his girlfriend arriving later.
They're off to the football tomorrow and we're taking the new car to my cousin's for lunch.

Morning all.
Off to a barbecue today - groan. I have no fear at all that I will want to drink, but lordie it’s going to be dull. One thing I have noticed after I “woke up” from my drinking years is that my friendship group is all DH’s friends- we very rarely socialise with people I would consider “my” friends. Still not worked out how to fix that.
I get on well with a few of them, but I find that I have very different values to many of them. And it was a revelation that one reason I drank so heavily with them was just to check out from the conversations.

So my mission today is to be curious- can I have any interesting conversations and learn something new from today? I may send reports from loo breaks!

The weather finally feels a bit cooler today, but the forecast for rain has got further away …

I’m struggling today, meant to going out with friends from university I’ve not seen for ages & they’re a boozy lot, it’ll be the first time any have heard that I’m now sober & they’ll try to pressurise me. First time ALL of us have been able to meet since graduation. Thinking about staying home & cuddling my dogs on the sofa but that’s spoiling it for everyone (that it won’t be all of us!) because of my weakness.

Hi everyone

Sending support @TwoNicePuppies

You can do it!

We can do hard things @TwoNicePuppies . And allow for the possibility they might surprise you! It’s not “weakness” to decide you want to live a healthier, happier life. Let’s wear our big girl pants together 🤣

Hello @ClearFruit

I’m interested in updates @Onewildandpreciouslife & @TwoNicePuppies x You’ve both totally got this x

Thank you @WendyWagon @Onewildandpreciouslife @FiloPasty of course you are correct, we can do this. I’m going but I’m driving.
Hope the barbecue is fun @Onewildandpreciouslife, I love that you have no fear that you’ll want to drink, I wish so much that I had your strength. For me the first ~100 days were so easy (after the initial night sweats etc.) as I just wasn’t drinking for 100 days, since then every day I have to make a choice. I will NEVER drink again in my home, it’s going out that’s the issue.

Home is where you are, @TwoNicePuppies 🌹

Hope you got on OK @TwoNicePuppies . It’s not strength, it’s just practice. It was a nicer afternoon than I expected, to be fair, but I am very glad to be home

I will not drink today 💕

Morning all.
Off out for lunch at my cousin's.
She has a fabulous house in the country.
I shall look glamorous.

The DD and I have booked a second viewing of the cottage on Tuesday.
I need to think how much stuff I can shed to fit us in. The books might be a problem.
I'm taking my gin AF.

Glad you had a successful day @Onewildandpreciouslife

Thanks @Onewildandpreciouslife I actually had a brilliant day, I was the only one on AF but a couple of lads barely drank anything as they have kids and said they can’t deal with the mix of babies & hangovers. The rest more than made up for us so when the volume started to increase & repetition started I drove home. I’m so pleased I went though! Delighted that you had fun at your barbecue too.