The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring into Summer 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Lighter evenings, blossom and birdsong are with us once again. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

A very early good morning shipmates.
Its frustrating to be awake so early but I think it’s part of the healing process from leaving my toxic job So will just go with it for now.
Great stuff o n the driving @WendyWagon
@mumzof4x sending you lots of well wishes you are doing amazingly.
@SmellyMe what a milestone. Fantastic!
@Franksnidebottom i Hope when you wake up today the thoughts and feelings will be less than they were. Glad you are here.

Morning all
A very well done @SmellyMe! It is odd how the temptation sneaks back in on occasion. I was in a particular Sainsburys yesterday that I must not have been in since before I stopped and all of a sudden the habit returned to me and I have to have a word with myself.

Am very much enjoying the dog updates.

Welcome @Franksnidebottom. How to cope with it? Time. Can you just say to your DH that you're taking a break? Or at least the first hour you could just say that you're thirsty and need a soft drink and by that point everyone will stop noticing. Go to the bar yourself so you can order alcohol free so it's not too tempting.
These first few days are the easiest, then after that it gets harder. Then easier again. Be ready for feeling better and deciding it was never that bad. Write some notes to yourself. Listen and read quit lit. Post here daily. We can still have fun and do all the things that non sober people do except with clarity and better sleep. It's just something different in your glass. That's all.

@Carpetburnit sounds like your body is just getting over the stress of it. I'm rather taken with the headspace app. Have you tried it? My job isn't toxic but I have been really finding it hard and stressful lately and my body is keeping the score as they say. Using the app these last couple of weeks seems to have really helped.

Morning all.
Congratulations on 500 days @SmellyMe 👏👏

Welcome @Franksnidebottom . You sound like you’ve had a bit of a wake-up call around your drinking. Alcohol is a horrible slippery slope that only goes one way - unless you get off. There’s a great line in Catherine Gray’s Unexpected Joy of Being Sober about how we tell ourselves: it’s ok, our hands don’t shake …. Until they do. We don’t drink in the morning.. until we do.

Plenty of people have embarrassed themselves drunk before - there is a family wedding that I have no recollection of, that still makes me sick to think of - but what matters is what you do now.

In 10 days, your body will recover, and you will feel better. Your brain will want to go back to what it knows, and will tell you it wasn’t that bad .., you’ve given up for 10 days, you can’t have a problem…

Please don’t listen to it. You deserve a life free of alcohol, and it is open to you, one day at a time. Good luck

Welcome @Franksnidebottom . I am also new. I did almost two weeks without alcohol, had a visit from some very boozy relatives and unfortunately fell into old ways. Now I‘m back on it, on day 5.

Reading posts from others who are well into their journey is incredibly inspiring. However, as a fellow newbie @TickleMeElmo1 I have also been really encouraged by your posts. Your old habits sound awfully familiar to mine, and if you can do this then so can I 💪

Instead of thinking of the negatives (the shame, the hangover, the guilt, the weight gain), I am trying to reframe my view of alcohol and the positives of living without it. For example, a clear head in the morning, getting to DS early Saturday morning football matches, no shame, more money for holidays, more calories for crisps etc.

AF drinks have also really helped. Last night I had a smoked salmon and cream cheese bagel. And thought how nice a glass of fizz would be with it. Instead of having to battle against it, I opened a can of 0% nosecco and carried on with my evening. Similarly, this weekend is due to be really nice weather. I know I‘ll be constantly thinking about a cold beer in my garden. So I‘ve got some AF beer in the fridge already. Hopefully one day I won’t have to rely on AF drinks but for now I am finding them helpful.

I wish you the best of luck and am really glad you are here

Morning all. Second time up.
Mr Tiggle is awaiting his breakfast.

@Franksnidebottomi have some legendary shame in a professional setting.
My boss asked me to attend the industry awards (she'd won) and pick up her trophy. I went with a colleague. I'd never been to this event before but I got absolutely bladdered and slipped on a wet floor flashing my spankz! (They were the old lady type). Lots of theories around was my drink spiked? who took pictures etc.
It came up in my exit interview. I don't really know why I drunk so much at a corporate do but a toxic colleague had decided to attend too and popped up half way through the night. He was always undermining me so I don't know if he had spiked me. That was my worse shenanigan as an adult and I haven't got over it five years on but not long after I stopped drinking.
My friends used the adage 'chip paper' and I had a go at AA which scared me and I managed 100 days. I then achieved sobriety for two years and that when I changed. I don't think about booze that much ( I use to hide it in the garage, top up empty bottles, blah blah). I've done it all.

But nothing feels as good as a sober morning 🌄

Don't waste your life drinking mouldy fruit in water (because that's what it is).
Find a new way. We're here to help. Ask anything.

@Franksnidebottom, I know you're feeling dreadful today, and I'm not minimising whatever happened, but remember that The Fear is real. Not remembering is awful, but maybe it wasn't as bad as you think. Anyway, there's not much you can do except ride it out. Maybe have a word with your boss, and prepare him for what he might hear? Obviously not all the details, but you could say you overdid it a bit and feel embarrassed, so he might be sympathetic rather than annoyed?

On a practical level for all newbies - get some B1 vitamins (Thiamine). it can protect your brain against alcohol-related damage. Take high doses for 6-8 weeks at least. You can't overdose on it, but you do excrete any excess in alarmingly neon wee, so don't panic if that happens. A B complex tab a day won't do any harm either, but take extra B1, as there's never enough in the complex ones.

@VillageIdiott - so glad you are still with us - top stuff on day 5, that's brilliant.

A warm welcome to you from me and Cabin Boy/Powder Monkey Sid @Franksnidebottom (love your user name). I'm sorry for the anguish you are going through. Almost all of us have similar tales of mortification. There is much understanding and solidarity for you here.

If it does come to your boss's notice, perhaps you could come up with something along the lines of "I realise that my behaviour at XYZ may have been a little bit out of character; I had an unfortunate reaction to something I ingested. I apologise for any inadvertent consequences and can assure you that it will not happen again." but you don't need to volunteer this. It may well be that no hint of it reaches your manager - or that it wasn't actually as bad as you think. I can almost guarantee that those bestowers of the frosty looks will have episodes of grimness in their own personal histories. Also bear in mind that you are viewing what happened through the barometer of an unpleasant hangover and immense guilty-feelings - they alone will magnify the wretchedness of your feelings and make everything seem 1000+ times worse than it actually probably was.

The best thing you can do is to be kind to yourself, and own anything that crops up in relation to it with something like "yes, that was an awful evening. I deeply regret how I might have appeared to others that night. It's not who I am." But really, you are not an awful person, or a failure, and you are certainly not a fool. You can survive this and ride out the judgement of others. I really recommend reading Catherine Gray's Unexpected Joy of Being Sober (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). It is so helpful in overcoming the sort of mortification which has befallen you - Catherine writes of similar events, meetings, holidays and other awfulnesses. Police cells, divested clothing and lost dogs included. She's still living a better life, with respect and dignity, and so will you. It was one event, one evening, you can rebuild, repair and reboot. I hope your DH will be understanding and will support you. Lots of lovely AF options to put in your glass for his birthday celebrations and the fact that you're drinking AF doesn't even need to be mentioned. It's nobody's business but yours.

Please do keep posting here, if you want to. We stand united and absolutely to not judge you. It probably will be quite a bit sh~t for a while, with any fallout and residual humiliation - sorry about that. But you are owning it, admitting it and desiring to be different. Believe me, that shows real courage and strength of character. You will rise and endure. It will be alright, even though it probably doesn't seem like it at the moment. Because you are not a bad person; you are human, and you are worthwhile. Keep going. Be kind to yourself. 💐

Here's Sid, extending a paw of comfort and welcome to you. It's going to be OK. x

I was lying in my bed feeling very sorry for myself when I read this - thank you so much @REP22 I've barely slept all week, eaten nothing but an occasional packet of crisps and realised I feel extra dreadful today as I didn't drink any liquid at all yesterday, which I know will be making it all seem so much worse. Your kind words mean so much, thank you.

I've just had a shower, put clean comfy clothes on, filled a giant bottle with cold water, and I'm defrosting some salmon for dinner. And I've just ordered vit B1 from amazon, thanks to the poster who suggested that.

I feel worse than with a dreadful hangover, I need to stop punishing myself and start dusting myself down. I have presents to wrap, balloons to collect, and heap of work to do given ive done nothing all week. Sitting here feeling sorry for myself is just adding to how bad I feel. Thank all so much, I can't tell you how much your understanding and kind words mean to me right now. 💐

Bless you @Franksnidebottom - you're doing the best you can. xx

@Franksnidebottom welcome, we’ve all been there. You’ve got to ride out this early storm and my advice is no alcohol fine but all the chocolate, takeaway and AF options you need. You do need to pamper yourself and indulge in other ways, it really helps. You’ve got this x Sober Birthday a good badge to tick too on Try Dry x

Welcome @Franksnidebottomi found this group in December when I realised how valuable sober life is and how I can’t ever just have one. I fell off the wagon again in March and things crept up slowly until last week when I was hiding wine I’d ordered from Tesco whoosh and realised the next day that I had to stop again.

I can have booze, or I can have everything else.

I could write a book on the horrific things I’ve done when pissed up. Started fights at parties, weddings, in pubs, been taken home by the police as I was in such a state etc etc.

i do not like who i am when im drunk and i love who I am sober.

Please forgive yourself. Like every other wise poster has said - we are here to support you. You are no good to anyone whilst you continue to punish yourself.

Treat yourself like you would your very best friend.

@Franksnidebottom you’ve made some good steps today. Just small things like having a shower and clean clothes can make a world of difference! Check in with us often, be kind to yourself and know that many of us have felt the same as you and we are proof that you will get past this horrible feeling . Sending hugs your way

Just to add to what @TheMentalMentalLoadsaid my trainee psychologist DD says that alcoholism is a form of self harm. I'd agree with that as people who can't tolerate alcohol it brings ill health, bad guts, weight gain, rotten teeth , you get the picture!
I'm sure I did many awful things when drunk. I did help myself to a friend's wine on the side at a party (very embarrassing) and told my sister to 'do one' but that was many years in the making.
I fell off the wagon at the two year point and spent £300 on a boozy bff birthday lunch. I nearly fell out of the pub door like Patsy in Ad Fab! That was my last shenanigan.

@VillageIdiott I like your plan for the weekend. I might pick up some AF drinks too- have a bbq planned for Saturday but just for DH and I and he doesn’t drink but still, would be nice to try one 😂 DD still at uni. Also, where do you get your nosecco from?

Day off for me today, went for a hike with the local rambling club that I joined a few months ago. After the hike we always go for a drink/snack at a cafe or pub. Was pub today. Just had a soda water whilst my friend had half a peroni. Out of the 20 who came to the pub, about half had an alcoholic drink- I was observing just out of curiosity. Came home and had the new cherry and lemon San Pallegrino which was very delicious!!

Hello, I'm very sorry I've been so erratic about keeping up with this lovely community. I'm on day 6 again now and very keen on making it stick. It's been a crazy work week so I'm glad I've managed to get through the week so far without a drink. As always I'm sleeping so much better after a few days of sobriety.

Last weekend was a bit of a shit show, I went to a lovely local ecofestival where DS2 and I have been going for years, and DS2 decided to take the opportunity to get completely plastered on vodka. He's in year 10. He did something a bit similar last summer (came home drunk) but this time it was very scary. He somehow got separated from his friends and was found comatose at the end of the day in the woods. I spent that night mostly awake, lying next to him in the tent, worried about him having alcohol poisoning. He was extremely contrite the following morning - had massive embarrassment and hangxiety, and didn't remember anything.

I have so many painful feelings about the whole experience. Worry that he has the makings of an addict-to-be. But I'm pretty sure it's just teenage shenanigans. God I hope so. In theory he's not allowed to drink at all, and I don't think he realised how sick vodka can make you when you drink a large quantity, especially on an empty stomach. I talked to other year 10 parents, and it turns out a lot of them let their DC bring a couple of alcopops or another low-alcohol drink to parties, but tell them to stay away from spirits. I think DH and I are going to the same now. In theory I'm opposed to underage drinking (DC has just turned 15), but I think that ship has sailed now. So we'll aim for harm minimisation. Sigh.

The whole episode just brought home to me again how poisonous and awful alcohol is. It was dreadful seeing my child in that state. Anyway, I haven't had a drink since the day before the festival. I was hoping the festival would be a chance to reset, because normally it's a weekend of getting away from work and just lying around and reading novels (I'm not very social at festivals, but my friends are used to this, ha). So I do feel like it was a reset, but not in the way I planned! Instead of relaxing I spent one day worrying about where DS was, one night worrying about him being passed out, and the following day hugging him and trying to impart words of wisdom (he was very tearful, and he had also lost his phone).

Work has been very full-on because my finalists start exams on Monday. I give a lot of revision sessions, which I see as having almost a more therapeutic purpose than an academic one, ha. I spend a lot of time telling the students that they are great and are going to smash it 😁 Which is actually true, at least in 99% of cases.

And I've spent hours with DS over the past two evenings helping him finish a GCSE drama portfolio. This is something I have only been able to do because I'm not drinking. When I'm drinking, I can't get anything done in the evening.

I'm going to pull all the stops out to keep going like this. Life is so much better AF.

I'm just going to catch up on the thread now.

@elusivehope gosh, that is so scary! Glad your son is ok and hopefully this will make him think twice before drinking such large amounts and on an empty stomach! .

Congratulations on day 6. Life really is so much better AF

@Onewildandpreciouslife I'm so sorry your health news wasn't better 💐I hope you have a treatment plan now. Sending you my warmest thoughts.

@Carpetburn congratulations on quitting your toxic job!

@REP22 I wondered briefly if you and Sid were at the same festival as DS and me! But I don't think so... dogs weren't allowed at our festival sadly enough. Congratulations to Sid on his well-deserved moment of fame!

@taylorean thank you for your post about how people change over time.

@WendyWagon I'm happy for you that you have wheels again!

@mumzof4x 💐to you and your DD, I'm so sorry about her poor health.

@SmellyMe 500 days, wow, just wow.

Welcome @Franksnidebottom , you're in the right place.

@Lavrander you wrote, These first few days are the easiest, then after that it gets harder. Then easier again. Be ready for feeling better and deciding it was never that bad. OMG truer words were never spoken. I just want to get past the hard stage to the 'easier again' stage, instead of falling down every time.

Waves at everyone I haven't mentioned. Sleep well and IWNDWYTomorrow.

Thanks @TickleMeElmo1 , I'm also hoping that this will be a life lesson to remember for DS! His friends were pretty contrite as well. I'm not exactly sure who the culprits were as they all cover for each other, but a few of them had apparently been hoarding vodka for ages to take to the festival 🙄

Morning all.
I was woken by the dog and his poorly ears. Cockapoos have curly hair in their ears and it irritates them. He comes over all Shaking Stevens.

I'm off to Waitrose later for quick cooks. I might feel better but I'm not spending all weekend cooking. The DS has gone on holiday to the North and Scotland so we won't see him.
Nothing on the houses, no viewings booked or new cottages to look at.
The 'room of doom' is upmost in my mind but we'll see how much the moth has had. It's nibbled two Max Mara dresses. Both too big but only worn once or twice. We're very mothy.
The DH is off for a long weekend. He doesn't drink so I'm lucky in that respect. I shall look for the faux pimms.

@WendyWagon I have a cockapoo as well and use Thornit powder is his ears. When his ears were bad I used daily until it cleared up but now I just use it on him around twice a month. No ear infection in 5 years since started using it.

https://www.thornit.co.uk/

I hope @Franksnidebottom is feeling a bit better! You sound very organised with your party, and the weather is lovely for it!

Hello @elusivehope - lovely to see you again. Please don't apologise for not posting; I'm sure there are people on here who have never posted a single thing. You are always welcome. I'm so sorry about the festival incident with your DS. You must have been utterly beside yourself. I hope you are OK. Fingers crossed, this could be a salutory (if deeply unpleasant) lesson; thank goodness he was found.

Room of doom @WendyWagon - hehe! My whole house is pretty much one of them. A significant moth problem a few years ago but seemingly resolved now (no idea how). Sid is a devil for a moth - he will lock and load like an Exocet and monitor for ages before launching. He's usually successful. M has got carpet moth in her bathroom - very efficient lads.

Thanks for the information about Thomit @TickleMeElmo1 I'd never heard of that, and I worked in a vets for 3 years! Sid is a martyr to his ears. No actual infections (touch wood), but he's an inveterate fiddler. We are off on a little holiday in a bit - if you are very unlucky you might get a Sidpic of him in his bathers.

How are you feeling today @VillageIdiott and @Franksnidebottom ? Mending well, I hope.

Strength and courage brave shipmates. All shall be well. xx

Thanks everyone, you're all so kind.

Woken up feeling really low and hadn't realised I have a meeting with someone senior today. He is probably completely unaware, but I'm overthinking and spiralling a bit. I just need to get through it I suppose. Feeling a bit overwhelmed, really trying to focus on the birthday stuff and my lovely DH and DCs but I feel so miserable inside. Going for a brisk dig walk before the meeting to try and clear my head - I know my overthinking and constant worry isn't helping but it's so hard to stop it. It will get better, it will get easier, repeat... Hope you can all enjoy the lovely weather today

@REP22 I found the powder through my own research. I hated seeing my pup in so much discomfort and the vet visits were so stressful for him and costly too!! It cost £12 for a bottle and I still have it 5 years later! You use tiny amount each time. You can use it on itchy paws too . Enjoy your little holiday