The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring into Summer 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Lighter evenings, blossom and birdsong are with us once again. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Yayyyy!!! Well done @WendyWagon - that's fantastic! Freedom!!

Haven't tried duck strips with Sid - I'm sure he'd be keen, but he'd do anything for a Sizzler. Duck strips conjure up in my mind an image of a seedy riverside basement club, with a duck gyrating on a stage, provocatively shedding one feather at a time... 🪶

Well done @TickleMeElmo1!

I am loving the stories about the dogs. I have a dog too, she’s my absolute rock and I burst with the love and pride I have for her.

Someone mentioned a fancy and lovely sounding sanpeligrino, lemon and cherry? I’m going to look into getting some of that.

I call the lemon / orange one Tory Tango.

I’ve only seen it once in Tesco but there is a San pellegrino Sanguinello (blood orange) with Peroni beer like a 0% orange shandy it was delicious! I’m also going to look out for the cherry lemon one, sounds fab!

@TheMentalMentalLoad what a lovely tribute to the dog who completes your world. She is lucky to have an amazing companion in you. It was for my dog that I got finally sober. I try to stay true for her successor, Sid. He keeps me going in every way. I first mentioned him on the thread a couple of years ago - he became more of a feature and I believe it was the fabulous @WendyWagon who proposed him as something of a thread mascot and gave him the title Sober Sisters' Sid (Sid is not his real name). There are probably people on the thread who dislike dogs in general and Sid in particular, and I'm sorry to them and hope his appearances aren't TOO irksome.

Hope you got on OK with your visit to your friend @WendyWagon, so very sad about her daughter.

@mumzof4x I don't know why, but for some reason you keep popping up in my thoughts this evening. I'm not at all a proponent of mystic woo-woo, but I hope you're alright and am sending much love. 💜

Aw @REP22thats so very lovely and I am a big fan of woo woo!
I often think of you genuinely and am sorry I haven’t been on lately. I’ve read the posts but not contributed and I’m sorry about that.
Dd 4 has been very unwell and I had to take time off work until recently. Not out of the woods yet but getting there.
I am very happy to say, although we have faced one of the toughest journeys ever as parents this year, I have remained entirely 100 % AF.
I have become obsessed though with tea and coffee moments!

I invested heavily and put the work in and it’s so worth it.
Choosing clarity over chaos every dayx
One day at a timex
Thank you so much for thinking of me

@REP22i am firmly in the Fan camp. SID has spectacular ears. I’m a big lover of dogs like him that tend to be judged on appearance. Rotties are my favourite but I do love a Staffie, Mastif, bully, basically anything with a face only a mother could love and a bit gormless. I’m a sucker for a rescue and am on my 3rd now.

@WendyWagonYour post about your friend has stayed me. I know of someone who also lost her DD recently and it made me wonder if it’s the same person (I won’t ask). I can’t imagine the pain your friend must be carrying.

Thank you @TheMentalMentalLoad - you are much like me in the way we view dogs. All of mine have been rescues of the challenging kind and have enriched my life beyond measure. I literally wouldn't be alive now were it not for one of them, or possibly also his successor, the one for whom I got sober. I shall not invoke the name of a popular Sci-Fi franchise in relation to Sid's ears - but suffice it to say that I occasionally refer to his pee-pee as "Yoda-soda"...

Oh lovely @mumzof4x , I am so sorry for the awfulnesses you are enduring with such courage. I can't imagine the despair and heartache you are going through. Please don't apologise, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry about here. And not to have reached for a single bottle despite such torment. You're absolutely amazing. I'm so sorry you, DD4 and your family are suffering so much. It's horrible and not fair. Please know how amazing you are, even though it really doesn't feel like that or matter much at the moment. You have our love and best wishes. Thoughts and prayers (if you pray them) for DD4 and better days ahead. ❤️ x

Morning all,
Blinking heck this phone and app are pants.
I couldn't get on the site last week . I got bad 400 as a block. Now I have to put up with stupid Amazon ads with a tongue out icon. It's driving me potty.

Sorry about your daughter's illness @mumzof4x it's so hard. My DD has been unwell for a long time and she's in constant pain.

Mr Tiggle and I are having a day off today. The DH is off on a long weekend so I need to do any Internet shopping today. I need to go on moth patrol and face the wardrobes.

I’ve reached 500 days!
I’ve not checked in for ages. I either get way too many email notifications or none at all! It’s been none at for ages.

I’ve still barely begun to make it public and openly discuss the fact I don’t drink. I told some family at Christmas because I met them in a pub. They were a bit, ‘oh, you’re vegetarian, but you still eat ham, right?’ 🙄.

And then last month I had two dinners to go to where I had no excuse for needing to drive home… the expectation was entirely that I would be boozing. So I told them…

All the quit lit/booze/blogs/this thread that I read in the first year really prepared me for the consequences. That is, a bit of praise mixed with an inventory of what they’ve drank that week because they been ‘behaving’; the number of consecutive days they haven’t had a drink (which I am ironically celebrating myself in this post); how they are in control. I am so not judgey. This was a personal choice for me! It really don’t like the automatic assumption that I consider myself above the fray or the vocal introspection that it sets off. I am so glad that I avoided this for so long by keeping schtum.

I went to a pub with a group of colleagues from different areas of my organisation recently. I knew them all from online meetings but had never met them socially. I kind of felt tempted to drink I must say as I thought it would make me much more jollier and entertaining. I wanted to take the edge off my nerves and make a good impression. I felt a bit boring as their conversation got wackier and louder the more they sank the pints. The old SmellyMe would have been right in there.

But then I looked at the guy opposite me who clearly doesn’t go out much any more and was practically falling asleep as someone slammed another pint in
front of him even though he’d said ‘no thank you’ half a dozen times when some one was getting a round. Then there was the senior manager who was being more and more indiscreet about really high level stuff, the more she drank. She actually outed someone - at the table- who was a candidate for job being interviewed for the following week. Holy shit - the kind of top secret thing you don’t want anyone knowing about!

Old me would have stayed there and got absolutely trollied. I would have eaten some terrible dinner, had a fight with my husband or worse- “party at my house, everyone!”- and felt like death the next day .

As it happens, I had an alcohol free beer. I asked for a ginger beer and got a ginger ale! I walked out of a dark bar where it felt like 8pm to find that it was 5pm and the sun was still shining. I walked home and made dinner for my family. I was so glad. I think I would have been more like the guy struggling to stay awake now than the party animal who would have consumed 4 pints before hitting spirits to get smashed. That’s the thought that I try and hold now… that I would actually feel ill if I drank now. My tolerance has been reset and I’d be wobbly and fuzzy-headed after a pint.

It’s a drug. It’s socially acceptable substance abuse and the treasury makes billions in tax from it. 500 days on and the temptation is still there and ‘what if…?’. Love to everyone on here and the continuing battling on! X

@SmellyMe what a great post. 500 days is epic :)
I do feel a bit sold a lie all the marketing around alcohol is that it’s fun bla bla it’s really not for the vast majority of people. I also think how much I drank and thought I’d still be ok to be “on call” overnight as a parent. It feels a bit like a weird social experiment being around really drunk people, I now look around and just wonder (I do think I am a bit judgey but mostly as I just imagine former me and just feel sad) how much the cost is physically, financially, mentally.

Can you share your highlights and best bits? I’d love to know more of your story x
Huge Congratulations x

@TheMentalMentalLoad @FiloPasty

The cherry lemon San Pallengrino came up for me at Costco as a special offer. I went yesterday but the whole shop was evacuated so was not able to go inside. Will go again tomorrow. Other flavours are also on offer there so I’m going to stock up for the summer

@SmellyMe thats fantastic!! Well done 👏 🎉

Well done @SmellyMe

Absolutely brilliant @SmellyMe - what an inspirational post! Many hearty congratulations from me and the Sidster. xx

just a quick drive by for now, but I thought I'd tell you all about my grandpuppy's latest trick - don't tell Sid, @REP22 - it might appeal to his less sensible side, assuming he has one 😈.

He taps on the french doors to the garden, which is his way of saying he needs to leave the room, and when someone gets up to let him out he spins round and jumps into the space on the sofa they've warmed up for him. Very clever, but no doubt infuriating for his long-suffering humans.

That's so funny @ShyMaryEllen - obviously a very clever pup! I used to have a Jack Russell who used to pull similar stunts. She once hurt her leg, but made a good recovery. Whenever my dad (the acknowledged soft touch) came home from work, she immediately started limping again, having been fine before. Shameless. x

My daughter always says that if Grandpuppy (who is an old dog now, but still learning new tricks) had opposable thumbs we'd all be in trouble. I can't argue with that, really.

My dog bounced into my bed at 5.30 this morning. We still don’t know how he did it as the child gate from the kitchen was still closed. Either he leaped the gate or had been hiding in a different room all night 🤷🏼‍♀️ He was very pleased with himself!

@SmellyMe. That is wonderful! You should be so proud of yourself ❤️👏🥳🪅 x

Hey, can I join? I found an old brave babes bus thread and was posting there but it's years old.

I messed up spectacularly last week. I don't know if there will be professional consequences and I've spent the week hating myself and worried that I've ruined everything. The only positive is that I honestly don't ever want to drink again, ever..Usually I reluctantly come to that conclusion and feel sad about it but this week has been so horrendous, I know I can never put myself through it again.

I am so ashamed, sad, worried, and exhausted. What a con booze is? And what a crappy way to go out! Warm, cheap, pretty flat champagne, drunk from a vase (needs must at the end of the night...).

How do people come back from it all? I wish I could disappear.

Welcome @Franksnidebottom
We're living proof you can give up the booze. I'm four years in and there's new 'lads' and veterans on this thread.
@REP22is holding the thread and will be along to welcome you
Have you tried to give up before?

@Franksnidebottom welcome and great to hear you are ready to stop. I’m one of the newbies here, 16 days sober and already starting to feel better.

I found immersing myself in podcasts and audiobooks to be incredibly helpful. Any free moment I have, cleaning, walking the dog etc I am listening. ‘Alcohol explained’ and ‘The unexpected joy of being sober’ are the two books I have listened to and both really good- enough for me to never drink alcohol again! There are a lot of podcasts with interviews from everyday people talking about their journeys which I find inspiring. Doesn’t work for everyone as some may feel triggered hearing about other people’s drinking history but it helps me so wanted to share.

Check in often and get the TryDry app

Hi!

Thanks for the welcome and suggestions. I have tried before, but never really managed it..the shame of my behaviour is just horrendous..how do you deal with that... Sober? Usually wine, that's how I'd cope. Until now I've kept my stupid drunken antics away from work - which written down doesn't exactly cover me in glory - I've reserved my worst behaviour for friends and family. Mostly just over doing it, but now it's spilled into work I am done.

I went to an event, it was actually my manager's invite which I'd conveniently forgotten. So I was kind of representing him which is even worse. I can't actually remember what happened. I was just blanked by everyone the next day. I was pretty much the only one drinking, stayed up late, after the bar was closed helped myself to the leftover champagne, which I drank out of a flower vase - which I thought was cute and funny at the time. I remember maybe playing devil's advocate in the conversation but not much else. Think I got to bed about 4am, woke up with no real fear, just regret of drinking so much and being tired. Actually thought I'd made some nice contacts! The looks and responses I received the next morning will haunt me forever. I've never had such a frosty reception, people had obviously talked at breakfast (as not many stayed up to watch my one woman shit show). I desperately tried to speak to those that did to find out/apologise but I was shunned..I'm just so ashamed and fearful about what I might have said/done.

Don't know anyone well enough to reach out so I'm just hiding out..ignoring my manager's calls and a chatty text asking for photos of the event. He's such a nice man, very well regarded. He would be horrified, utterly horrified. Maybe he already knows. Maybe there's footage? Who knows. I'm so stupid. This was not a safe/friendly place at all. Why on earth did I do it?! It could literally ruin my career, and even if it doesn't, I am so disappointed and upset at myself. Big birthday this weekend for my DH so have to somehow hide that I'm not drinking, be a bit blase..he'd also be disappointed in me i think.i feel such an absolute fool and a failure

Oh @Franksnidebottom it won't be as bad as you think - certainly as you feel right now!

Everything will get better.

I'll reply again tomorrow, but just wanted to say I know the fear of having burned bridges from my dim, distant youth... and most of them were fine, or got mended.

You're not a fool or a failure, and remember that you're not alone.