The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring into Summer 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Lighter evenings, blossom and birdsong are with us once again. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Good luck today @WendyWagon Sid and I are really rooting for you. Another quick burst of for you from us - all power to you.

I've stopped feeding the birds due to the RSPB advice too @Lavrander - my conscience is pricking me. Although I've let my little garden go right to seed for the moment, so there should be plenty of insects to compensate. You're right about the possibly retaliatory sh~tting though - what the hell ARE they eating?! Mildly amusing to me is that a dodgy neighbour has parked a suspect 4x4 in the guest space next to mine outside my house. His 4x4 is liberally spattered with guano of the foulest kind, whilst the Sidmobile has been left virtually unscathed. Dodgy neighbour has two cats. Now you've got me wondering if these things might be linked...

Occasionally in my days I read publicly-available court judgements - I recently came across this one in the "England and Wales High Court (Family Division) Decisions". A sad one involving a mum's problematic drinking. Please don't read it if you are easily upset, and I am sorry if anyone thinks it's inappropriate to post here. It just really struck me personally as to why we must do something if we're recognising these issues in ourselves. I need to hear horrible reality to make me face the consequences and strive to be better, so that I don't do this to Sid. He deserves better than having to endure drunk me. This, and the equally-hard-hitting MN thread The reality of the end | Mumsnet, are the kinds of things trundling down the tracks in our direction if we don't pull the brake lever.
Z (A Child), Re (Retention from Hong Kong: Child's Objections) [2026] EWHC 996 (Fam) (28 April 2026)

Again, I am sorry if the thought of these linked posts is upsetting. We are NOT at that point yet. There is hope and happiness ahead for us.

In the meantime, here is Sid wearing his Titanic bling, wishing you peace, strength, and joy of your weekend. It is going to be alright. xx

*sorry about the Youtube link - in case it continues to malfunction, it was Sia's Unstoppable (the video called "tribute to Sia and Wonder Woman"). x

Ah@ShyMaryEllenl am an all plates spinning kinda girl.
I can't say too much but a brand I have worked on turns out to be diddling the small shareholders. It was my retirement fund and I think it's going to be worth nowt. I'm sure it will end badly.

I've had a good week on the steroids so I'm hoping it's going to continue. I need to re-view our retirement plans and go back to work for a bit.

No cottages this week. The jobbing gardener told me he has a number of clients up for sale but not sold. Not just me then.

That's a very sad family courts case. The poor little boy.

Evening shipmates.
Great to see folk sticking with us even with slips, blips and trips. We will get there.
Ive finished at my toxic job and it’s been a week of mixed emotions. Some of my colleagues cried which was rubbish but I’m not going because of them!
I have a bit of time off before my new one starts and honestly I’m hoping I’ll be less broken by the time I get there. I’ve been wound so tightly for the last few years I worry if I relax I’ll unravel!
But for now I shall plan a restorative weekend and putting my feet up a bit!

Evening all.

@REP22I will read that court case. I used to have to read things like for work.

@Lavranderive started just scattering mealworms amongst my plants and pots and the birds go mad for them. I also still put out fat balls as the RSPB have said that’s ok (I think). I wash my water bowl daily too.

I feel a whole load better today. I already feel smug knowing I’ll wake up tomorrow having not had a drink and feel great.

IWNDWYT

@REP22i have just read that thread. It has the impact it was intended to. I am currently in bed crying at the realisation of the things my daughter may have seen since I started drinking again in March.

One example is the midweek tesco whoosh orders, always with a bottle of wine and some other grocery’s. This Wednesday I lied to her about the wine then hid it so she didn’t see it was a second bottle I was pouring from.

i can have alcohol, or I can have everything else. That line will stay with me.

Oh lovely, I'm so very sorry that it made you cry. That wasn't my intention. You are not that person. You are good, brave and determined to be better than you already are. Please believe me when I say that your daughter does and always will love you for yourself, and will understand. You are further along the way to recovery and better things than you know.

I am not blessed with children, sadly, and never will be. But Sid had a predecessor and, a lot of the time, my care of her was mediocre at best. I got finally sober for her. But I hate myself for the life she had with me at times. She never stopped loving me throughout and, at times, it still pierces my soul. I'm not that person anymore, and she and I knew happy, together times which I believe did repay her faith in me.

Your daughter might have seen and heard some things that weren't good, perhaps - but to then have the determined, sober, mum at her side once more and all the wonderful memories you will make together in the years to come... what a precious gift that is. Trust me, those are the bits that will linger through time. The person in that link I shared very clearly had no insight into their behaviour, its impact, nor anything approaching an inclination to change their ways. You have all of those and are already firmly on the path to recovery.

You've got this. You are not a bad mum. You're going through an all-too-human sticky bit, but you're owning it and doing your best to get it right and be better. Never underestimate how amazing that is. How amazing YOU are. It's going to be OK. xx

@TheMentalMentalLoad soneone mentioned on here once that my older children will probably remember some of my drinking, and I have some shameful occasions. But that thing they’ll remember most is that it was a struggle for me and I gave it up for them. That is something I hold onto so tightly. We don’t need to do it for us, but for the people who love us.

@REP22 i didn’t know you could read court documents like that and feel like I could get really into reading them. What shined through in that again was that the boy did love his mum. Good on the grandmother for getting him out of that and engaging social services.

@WendyWagon in my minds eye you are our Miranda Priestly! Def take the bag out for a spin.

@Carpetburn i hope you get some respite between jobs. Do you find it hard to switch off or will you end up doing a big house project?

Im looking forward to ticking off the Sober Soring sticker, good motivation for me.

Thank you for your beautiful words@REP22. Although it was hard hitting I 100% needed to read that thread.

I don’t have many friends and I don’t really see any of my family members. Once my DD is older and goes off to uni etc I will be very lonely and it will be too easy to fall into the trap of alcohol for company. That’s what scares me and that fear is what will keep le
sober.

@FiloPastythere are so many court papers online that are interesting.

I sometimes read the reports on how people have died in prison, some of them as just so sad and the (mostly men) are young. I used to work with vulnerable adults and I’ve always (completely wrong word) been fascinated by how things unfold. Nearly all the deaths that are linked to drug overdose involve alcohol.

Morning all.

I have had to get up for the cleaning dynamos. Help me survive being fettled lads!
I cried to some of last night's posts. I try to leave the shame behind. I'm not that person anymore.
I'm saving myself for Rivals today. I loved the 1980s as my sister lived in the Cotswolds. She use to put me behind the bar until the free drinks got a bit much.
If you live that way you might remember the heritage builder being charged with being drunk going home on a bike (he was gorgeous 🥰 too). Regular customer.
Happy days.

Good morning shipmates,

@FiloPasty - I find some of the hearings fascinating. Some of them are very sad, especially Family Court and Court of Protection, but occasionally you come across one that is unintentionally hilarious - often to be found in the Information Commissioner's Office ones, where a local rabble-rouser is trying to sh~t-stir with a parish council and the Ombudsman hands them their a~se on a plate. Another memorable one was where a chap was trying to cheat a casino and got royally caught out. The Miscellaneous section can also be quite diverting. The WAGatha Christie rulings are in there somewhere too.

I used to do a bit of acting and a regular gig was for the barrister training in the court circuit. I'd get the set-up of the case, the backgrounds of the various defence and prosecution antagonists and witnesses and I'd play them all, to be questioned and cross-examined by trainee barristers in the crown court. I was stood in the witness box in front of a proper judge as well. All of them in their robes and wigs. In the morning, one half of the trainees would be the prosecution and the other lot would be for the defence and then they'd swap over at lunchtime. Fascinating.

@TheMentalMentalLoad - hope you're doing OK today. I know what you mean about fears of isolation down the line and what it might lead us into. I'm the same. I've just started volunteering for the local Mens' Shed in an admin role and think I might do more in time, I'm setting myself up for things to do and to get myself out and about for when M is no longer with us.

Sid is making a public appearance tomorrow at a local festival. He's just seen his costume. He is not happy. But, as with his Christmas outfits, he knows that he must enjoy his specially-selected costumes, hand-picked by me, until he has repaid every penny of the £710 that his infamous Dartmoor episode cost me to resolve. Only another £593.60 to go, Sid! Be warned, lest you hear mutterings of mutiny about these here decks...

Again, I'm so sorry for any tears I occasioned. @WendyWagon you're right - we are NOT those people any more. I hope you enjoy Rivals. This is the cover of the current edition of Private Eye (which I've bought every fortnight since I was 14). Brilliant!

@REP22 I look forward to seeing Sid in his regalia x

Afternoon all
Read that thread you shared @REP22 abd it’s a good reminder of the impact on others but also just how powerful addiction is.
Although I have a relative who has stopped drinking recently after a health scare. And they look amazing and feel fantastic -and I get a new sober buddy.
@FiloPasty im dreadful at doing nothing! I suspect I’ll repaint a room or something 🤣

@Carpetburn i had a feeling!

I’ve just been at a boozy lunch (not me obviously) but i was just thinking how expensive everyone else’s bills must be and they were hitting the cocktails etc kids there.
Kind of feel like I live in an alternate universe at the moment. I am no fun or is drinking no fun? I had a nice time and indulged in a dessert :) normally I’d be in bed by now if I’d partaken.

Evening shipmates.

Thank you for your supportive words last week, they meant a lot.

@WendyWagon I hope the interview went well. I'm like you, I like to wear or carry one really special 'piece' (sorry if that sounds pretentious but trying to cover clothes, accessories or jewellery) to an interview to bring me confidence. Your Mulberry sounds lovely!

In awe of those of you who have the time and inclination for gardening in this weather. It's so cold where I am. I put on a summery outfit this morning, then looked at the forecast and had to change back into winter clothes - even then I was freezing. We'd booked onto a vintage steam train trip, and there was no heating in the carriage ❄but we still had a good time and got some nice photos of the loco.

I discovered a great AF drink - on offer at Tesco so thought I'd give it a whirl - Fever Tree Madagascan Cola. It's a bit like Coke with spiced rum, minus the rum 'burn'. Just the thing for a cold night!

Wishing everyone a happy and sober Saturday night.

An early preview for you @Whosthetabbynow ... sweet dreams! 😉

@REP22 Sid is a VISION!

@REP22 that is a gorgeous photo!!

@FiloPasty I have yet to go out and be in a situation like yours but how great to hear you enjoyed a dessert instead. What did you have? I love a good pudding!! Cocktails are ridiculously expensive.

@PhantomOfAllKnowledge I’ll have to give that fever drink a go. I love a good cola! Steam train sounds fun!!

Day 12 ticked off for me. I’ve had a mixed week and a few really big cravings but pushed through. The sugar cravings are insane. I ate a whole family size Cadburys marvellous chocolate bar on Thursday! I am feeling a lot less anxious which is a huge positive for me and loving the mental clarity.

@TickleMeElmo1 Sticky toffee pudding - divine! Give in to all the other cravings in the early days, honestly a bottle of wine is probably the calories of 3 slices of cake, so if you need the treat just have it :)

I just confidently say I’m a non drinker now, everyone can see I look a darn sight better, I was so swollen and puffy looking before, I was a size 16-18 on the bottom before now I’m a 12 all over. 3 stone lost in 8 months, and I’ve been mindful about some meals, but definitely not all, still partial to a take away.

I feel like I go on about how good I feel so I hope it’s not annoying, I’m like a born again Christian :)

@TickleMeElmo1 That's great, especially the reduced anxiety.

The sugar craving will die down eventually, once your body adjusts to not getting all that sugar from alcohol - for now, just enjoy the chocolate. My alcohol-replacement chocolate of choice was Cadbury's Giant Chocolate buttons, in share-bag size of course - to share with myself 😆