The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring into Summer 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Lighter evenings, blossom and birdsong are with us once again. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

“I gave up one thing and got everything back”
“I stopped drinking and started arriving in my own life”

Horses for courses and whilst my teachers pet brain would rather love moving up a group I can see how the 1-3 month one would be full of crashes and burns.. You need to be talking to the people in the bunny field to know it's still there.
@VillageIdiottmy advice to you would be to lean in. We are your panic button. Don't be taken in by anyone around you saying that just one won't hurt.
We are all different and I like that there is a mix of tough love and hugs. One day you might need the hug; another day you need a reality check. May this thread always provide a healthy mix of both!

Thank you for your very thoughtful and wise post @ShyMaryEllen

I try and keep up with this thread less because I need it now, and more because I found it so useful at the start, e.g. recommendations of books and the Try Dry app.

I think many of us have a mental model of drinking from our childhoods and growing up, but social drinking has changed a lot over the years. The industry is very clever at making it seem the reliable reward for being a grownup, a functioning parent, whatever.

One subtle social message is also that if it disagrees with you, or if you don't want to drink, you're the weird one. This is something I try and change in my everyday life, by saying I stopped because I stopped enjoying it, and it was easier than trying to plan in advance who was driving and so on.

I don't think I've seen any advert or health campaign that says that responsible drinking might mean not drinking at all, even if you'd like to. Some people/families can't really afford the expense, lost time, or the physical effects, even if the drinking itself isn't habitual and the drinker isn't alcohol-dependent.

There's an undercurrent in some posts that 'there must be some fundamental flaw with me that makes me different and one of the Bad Drinkers - because I should be able to either moderate, or quit easily'. I don't believe this. Some people find it easier to stop because they have more of the pieces in place for it to be easy. Part of stopping is just getting those pieces in place.

I can tell a non drinker from their skin ( my profession obviously), so in the spirit of Kate Moss I'm going to say:

I have sober sister skin.

Oh and I have no problem with tough love on or offline .
I do find drinking stories triggering but I try not to read them.

We are all works in progress as that is the human condition. As I said the other day it's like learning to ride a bike. One day you just keep peddling.
Much love to you all.

That’s interesting @WendyWagon i was looking at DH yesterday and his consumption has gone down about 95% (very occasional drink with a meal) and I was thinking how good his skin looked!

I'm sorry to hear this @VillageIdiott and hope you're feeling a bit better by the time you read this.

Have you been able to identify what triggered your lapse yesterday? I've found that identifying my own triggers has been helpful because I can work out coping strategies in advance; of course, sticking to them is still hard but it does mean I can avoid certain situations if I have to.

I am looking forward to seeing my skin glow @WendyWagon.

I just read what I posted earlier over, and not sure I said what I meant...

Partly because I don't really know.

I think maybe many of us have absorbed a message that we are individuals in control of our destinies, and have pure free will. So if a personal choice is bad for us, then that's something down to us. The people who struggle with their choices - it's their own fault, their own choices, and their own deep-seated personality flaws if they repeat their bad choices.

But this isn't how human behaviour really works. We aren't fixed types, we change over time. The choices of our friends, the retail environment etc make a big difference. People don't fall into separate groups of the born-copers and born-failers who are destined to always be like that.

We change, we learn, we fail again, we fail better. Habits, techniques, even stories and personal scripts make a difference.

As @WendyWagon put it, it comes with repetition and practice. And it might be impossible to pinpoint what the one difference was between us needing to put a steadying foot down, and being able to go on ahead, eventually freewheeling.

@tayloreanyour earlier post makes sense to me. Stopping drinking might be ‘easier’ if you have a good support network, access to people, places and things that can occupy your mind rather than the booze. It’s possibly easier if you’re not depressed, or anxious or suffer from Insomina. It’s possibly easier if other people in your household don’t drink.

Its never easy, like you say all the chips have to fall at the right time and in the right spot simply to start on the sobriety journey let alone stay on it.

Morning all.

The dog and I have had breakfast.
I did a main and pudding yesterday and there's not a crumb left.
DD is a fussy eater so if she's eaten a roast and a pud that's a win.
I went out at 2pm plant hunting. I wanted some for the bathroom and outside pots. Only the latter was successful. I might have to hit the Internet.

Our drink de jour was Marks pre mixed G and T AF. A bit more floral like the original one.
I'm looking for a pimms faux spirit if anyone finds one.

@TheMentalMentalLoad It was definitely easier for me to give up because my husband had stopped a year before. Kudos to him for managing it while I was still selfishly binge drinking in front of him.

I think habit plays a part - forming new habits, and there is no way round the fact this takes time. It took me months to stop automatically thinking of Friday night as 'wine night'. But it does come and life is easier when you are not fighting a regular habitual behaviour, although it doesn't stop moments of random temptation or stress-related temptation.

Good morning shipmates, I’m trying to spend less time on my phone (this is the only social media I use other than LinkedIn for work) but I’m still here & still sober following the blip on May 5th. For the first time I wrote notes in my try dry app about how I was feeling the next morning so if I’m ever tempted again I will look at that before ordering. It could only ever happen out, alcohol no longer comes into my home. I read, re-read then listened (3 times) to ‘Thirst’ by John Robins, whilst it could be triggering for some I loved it. One of many brilliant messages is that we have an allergy, one that makes us crave more alcohol once we’ve had one….if someone has a peanut allergy they don’t say “I’ll only have peanuts on a Saturday” or “I’m going to a party; got to have a peanut or two!”, they completely stop having peanuts & make sure peanuts aren’t in anything they consume for the rest of their life!

Hi all
I think the mindfulness might be working. A lot less anxious today. Usually would be back to on edge on a Monday. Don't know if it's just hormones though so I have something else to track.
I've seen on Ocado Anon alcohol free summer garden which is supposedly a Pimms alternative. Not tried it yet. I'm still on the martini vibrant Rosso - recommended on here. Lovely stuff. Thomson and Scott Naughty Brut I also have on order for a family celebration in a couple of weeks. I saw Elton John has an AF blanc de blancs - anyone tried it?

I was with some friends over the weekend. Two of them struggling with perimenopause, grogginess, tiredness, weight gain etc. One who was saying she just didn't have the money to have a PT and go to the gym and eat good food. I just wanted to rip the wine glass out of her hand and shout stop drinking then! IT'S FREEEEE!

@Lavrander i wasn’t v impressed with the Elton John fizz, was pretty tasteless. I love the Thomson & Scott one.

I’ve been forgetting to put on my oestrogen gel as part of my HRT and have been really achey lately so am back on that. The combo for me of HRT and giving up booze have been incredible and I’m super grateful to my Dr. The money I’ve saved on booze I’ve been using for exercise classes and totally worth it!

Evening shipmates!
The post leaving old job pre new job self restoration project is in full swing. My immune system has other ideas and I’m feeling a bit grotty but think that’s to be expected.
Im tuckered out and feeling a bit sorry for myself but a few more good nights sleep will see me right no doubt.
I like the AF support the thread offers-it’s why I came but the reason I stay is for the life chat! The best puddings, Sid pics, tv recommendations, thinking about which jumper/bag/skincream to buy and which books to read next. I like the gentle ticking along of it-soothes me!

Oh @Lavrander wouldn’t it be funny if we did that?! I think it might be frowned on though ….

Good evening

I’m making a list of all these different alcohol free options. I’m a little reluctant to try them at this stage as so early on in my journey.

I’m all about cordial with soda water, but I also have a few fancy carbonated drinks. There is a San Pellegrino lemon and cherry edition which I have my eye on. It’s on offer at Costco this week so need to make a trip to get some.

Today is a little test for me as I have the house all to myself, all evening. In the past this will be an excuse to have a midweek drink or two or maybe even three. It wouldn’t matter what day it was as there was no one around to see it. It’s a test as I have some cider cans in the fridge and a couple of bottles of wine (not in fridge!!) which I haven’t yet gotten rid of. My daughter will be home from uni in a few weeks time so I think she’ll probably have some of it with her friends. I don’t really want to waste them, but also I like the challenge/test of keeping away from it if that makes sense.

I just baked myself a soft bake New York style cookie and having that with a scoop of ice cream and a soda water with lime. Going to spend the evening watching ER and cuddling with my doggy.

Hope everyone’s having a great Monday I love the support in this chat. It has helped me immensely already.

@TickleMeElmo1 i have heavily relied on AF options and often had 2/3 AF beers as it was the habit of drinking that was hard to break, once the alcohol really out of your system you can slowly change those habits.
I love trying all the AF options and have personally found them incredibly useful.

Me too, @FiloPasty. I like to 'join in' when others are drinking, and also to pour a glass of something 'adult' in the evening. I 100% realise that this is falling for marketing, but I don't like squash and don't drink hot drinks in the evening.

I started with AF fizz, which got me through the first few years. The ritual of opening a bottle and pouring into a wine glass helped with the habit, and to make my evenings feel 'normal'. The sugar content's not ideal though, so I don't bother so much these days. I like a canned G&T or a blood orange spritzer these days, and also drink kombucha and CBD drinks.

Morning all.
Blinking early mornings.
I've had two Yorkshire teas and I so love that first cup. I don't drink hot drinks in the evening either. I had blue top milk yesterday.

I'm off out today and have to take the sport mini. I think I can manage one in and out as it's so low I don't drive it much anymore. Still waiting for the new car.
Just going to see a friend who recently lost her daughter. A very sad affair.

We are putting down a large rug in our sitting room to try to keep the carpet clean. It's very traditional but the DH is really p*ssed off with the estate agents and all their waffle. He's not impressed with the massive reduction we've made that has done diddly squat.
One of the villages we use to live in has houses similar to ours at 15% more. It's very rural and not very smart so we don't get it. One agent told me the market reminds him of 2008! The ain't going to help us.

That is an early morning @WendyWagon hope you managed ok the the mini.

I survived my first big test - evening alone! This always resulted in a few drinks, always with no exceptions.

Day 15 today

Hello Shipmates,

I know what you mean about wanting to snatch the glass @Lavrander - the empty calories in booze and attendant mixers are shocking.

Well done on your successful evening @TickleMeElmo1 - that's brilliant. 😀

Sid and I are keeping a low profile. He was photographed a lot at the event on Sunday - all fine. But someone posted his picture on their online content and he went a little bit viral (in the non-Ebola sense), only in a minor way. Last night, a friend messaged me with a link to a clip. And there was Sid, appearing on ITV's This Morning programme. 🫣 That took me by surprise, I can tell you, though he only popped up in full frame for a few seconds. No idea he was being recorded. I haven't told him. I sense that it would go to his furry little head and cabin-boy / powder-monkey duties would be swiftly neglected ("those cannons can load themselves"). Plus I can't afford all the Sizzlers he'd demand on his rider. Bl~~dy h~ll.

Strength and courage, brave friends. All shall be well. x

Well folks I drove 50 miles for the first time in six months. Go me!

Sizzlers indeed. I shall not mention them. Mr Tiggle has taken a fancy to duck strips!