The Continuing Support Thread for Anyone Trying to Lead an Alcohol-Free Life Spring into Summer 2026

[REP22]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you only just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.
Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.
All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain. We don't encourage moderation-only here, as it can be triggering for some to read. If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation/abstaining thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there from those worthy people too. Keep trying. Sobriety may not be easy - but I guarantee you that it is worth it.
I started trying to give up drink in 2018, succeeded (mostly) in 2019 but had a few “wobbles”, one of which led me here in April 2023. I still struggle sometimes but the posters on this thread have been an absolute godsend of wisdom, support and encouragement, along with my dog - known here as Sid (not his real name), and they keep me going. I hope you find strength and comfort here too. This thread and its wonderful posters has been a lifesaver to many, and have certainly seen me through many good and not-so-good days.
These books were particularly helpful to me and I still go back to them from time to time: The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley (Amazon - Sober Diaries) and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray (Amazon - Unexpected Joy). Others have found This Naked Mind by Annie Grace (Amazon - This Naked Mind) helpful. There are Apps that help track your AF journey, including Reframe and the ones I use, I Am Sober and TryDry. Podcasts can also be helpful. I have found One for the Road by Sober Dave to be a good listen. But different things work for different people. Feel free to post and ask. There is solidarity, wisdom and support here. This is a safe space where your voice will be heard, understood and valued.
Lighter evenings, blossom and birdsong are with us once again. Pull up a chair, and make yourself at home. It's going to be alright. x

Morning all.

Oh the joy of a clean house. Being of the school of 'Lick and Promise' I'm mighty proud.
I'm going to venture up to the DS's room today and pimp the bed up.

@WendyWagon i am going to have a hearty day cleaning and decluttering today. Tempted to do a car boot to really get rid of stuff (probably end up buying loads of other people’s tat though!)

@Onewildandpreciouslife that makes sense! It definitely needs more promotion though. I think 3 months is a much better start to an alcohol free life as by then you really do see all the positive changes. Even if for some people it might just be a challenge that they tick off by the end of 3 months you feel so much better. That coincided with Christmas for me and I had such a nice time. My kids especially the teens really noticed too.
I think I read something about Tom Holland’s zero alcohol brand that he hadn’t planned on completely giving up he just did 6 months and hasn’t looked back.

Sunny seas today shipmates x

@Onewildandpreciouslife So sorry to hear your news. Sending love to you ❤️

Oh @WendyWagon I'm envious of your clean home. Every room here could do with a deep clean and I really must go through the cupboards and draws. At a glance it looks clean and it is mostly tidy but horrors are hidden behind the closed doors.

It must be something in the air as I've also been craving and delved into the chocolate instead. Not good for my quest to slim down but better than the booze. I'm full of cold and plan to curl up in bed with a hot water bottle shortly.

Morning
Got back into daily headspace and I do feel a little lighter. I was thinking how alcohol does the job of numbing your mind and so the impact of stopping is we sometimes miss that element of helping our brains to just switch off. Mine has been bloody busy! But mindfulness is really helping me to be present in what I'm doing so I'm feeling pretty calm at the moment and more resilient. Also enjoying the outdoors more because I'm not constantly thinking about other things whilst I'm walking! Would recommend. It's taking some practice.

I have signed up to sober spring :-)

Morning all.

Reality time I think on the house situation. Absolutely no interest and we're struggling to remortgage. We got caught years ago in the crash and sold for less than we paid.
I think I will have to consider modifications.

Today is a bad day.

I had a funny experience. Six and a half years now but at an evening where we had to sing and do a bit of comedy to each other; a Eurovision tribute night. Thingy. Anyway one person who was driving said now I know how you feel, its tough not having alcohol. I didn't really reply obviously but I did think I hadn't even noticed I wasn't drinking let alone wanting one and just a reminder if you think alcohol is missing then it really isn't. Its just a doom loop on itself and never really makes things fun or you charming and witty. Which i was 😀

@WendyWagon im sorry you are facing such a tough time with the house sale, the market is such a mess. I think the government should just stop stamp duty and put some life into it, people moving house and subsequent spending around that is so good for the economy. Even if they just did it for people downsizing. We had trouble getting a decent valuation for remortgage purposes on ours as it’s an usual house and the surveyor said he can only base it on houses similar sold in the last year in the vicinity, of which there weren’t any!
I do hope something changes for the better x

@Hameth I think it’s just more noticeable to those that haven’t got used to doing things without booze, it’s such a crutch isn’t it? 6.5 years is amazing, can you share more about your journey? X

@Lavrander i’m also loving nature a lot more and getting out and about, unsurprisingly i have an awful lot more energy than i used and slowly getting back into a decent exercise routine. Honestly I’m so thankful of the support. I was in quite a dark place last year, and it was pretty inconceivable that I’d ever live an alcohol free life.

Thank you @FiloPasty
Basically the agent has said nothing moving over a certain level as mortgages too expensive and stamp duty ridiculous.
Being a modern house it's not really an old money buy. They use to call these houses 'executive' houses. My DS also said people don't have so many children. This echoed my neighbour who had four in 2007 when he bought his property. Now he's 70 in a too big house and waiting for us to sell before he dips his toe!

Sorry about the housing situation @WendyWagon - hope you can find a way forward that makes you happy.

Hope your cold is better soon @endlesswashing 💐

Absolutely fantastic on the six and a half years @Hameth - I bet you were absolutely epic, doing your turn. Probably also secretly the absolute envy of those there on the slightly-too-pissed-to-be-enjoying-themselves-anymore chairs too. Brilliant. 😀

With you on the enjoying nature a bit more @FiloPasty and @Lavrander - the birdsong is a joy to hear and appreciate these days, as opposed to a high-pitched mini-drill piercing through the foggy head-fug. I had a difficult day in a rural office yesterday, but there was a blue tit going constantly in and out of the wood-shed all day - obviously to chicks in a nest. It set me up for the day and still makes me smile thinking about it. I'm due there again in a day or two and am looking forward to being at the same desk.

Lads, I have transgressed. I throw myself upon your benevolent mercy. Sid needed a new collar tag after the old one wore through. I found a nice sparkly blue paw-shaped one online and ordered it. Only to realise too late that it is meant for a cat collar. It was an accident. I didn't mean to get him a cat's tag. It has arrived and been presented to Sid.

"No." is the verdict, "No, this is being a cat tag. This does be for cats. I can not has a cats' tag. No. I shall not be wearing this."

He will.

…but wearing it anyway 🤣🤣🤣

Morning all.

Up with the lark. It's chilly here. I'm in the scatcher with a snoring DH and a cuddly dog.
I'm still cock-a-hoop with the the cleanliness of chez Wendy. I'm just a bit frightened re the weekend as they're coming back!
I have a whole room of clean laundry and bed linen. My Brazilian lady had swivily eyes looking at it! Not sure what I want until I move. 22 happy shoppers of linen.
The DH and DS are suggesting getting a stair lift. Having looked at 'The shed' last week I don't want to give up my lovely house for something like that. What to do lads?

@HamethI salute you on six years. I don't recognise myself before 2022. Super embarrassing and what a waste of my life and health. There were some funny moments but my shenanigans were so awful.
I was watching Vanessa yesterday and her trauma was so evident around her weight. I know she loved a party ( with drinks) but my heart went out to her. The whole 'starve, big up, eat, feel shame' is exactly the same as alcohol dependency.
I've been on the scoff this week as that is what steroids do to me so I put myself to bed yesterday as I would have my head in the larder.
Must get mangoes.

Morning all.

im back, with my tail between my legs full of remorse and shame. It didn’t take much for me to fall back into the 2-3 bottle a week, midweek Tesco whoosh wine orders and dreadful anxiety and self beating that comes from drinking. I cannot moderate, I don’t
kmow why I was foolish enough to try.

Day 1 (again)

IWNDWYT

You know @TheMentalMentalLoadI visualise sobriety as similar to learning to ride a bike. We get on, we fall off but one day we keep going. The pedals just turn and we access freedom.
Shame needs to see the light and I promise you it does fade. I've only got one person who bangs on about my past behaviour.

Have a good day today. We're all here to support you x

Morning all, unfortunately I am back on day one today too.

After a successful Friday night dinner out with no alcohol, the next day it went downhill. On Saturday afternoon we went out and I mistakenly ordered an alcoholic drink. It was a translation error, sounds like a lame excuse but was a genuine mistake. Because my run of dry days was now over, I unfortunately spiralled and carried on drinking the rest of the day.

Sunday was the party. Again, I figured I might as well drink because I had ruined my dry streak. But I didn’t drink much, just wine with lunch (half a bottle?).

Figured I can moderate now, and drink like a normal person. Proved it to myself by drinking only two glasses of wine on Monday night.

Which turned into a whole bottle on Tuesday night. Then a bottle and a half last night.

I cannot moderate. I always want more.

It was very difficult having my relatives here. They both drank at least a bottle of wine each every night. Every time I opened the fridge, there it was. Every time we went to the shop, it was straight to the booze section. They went home yesterday so it should be easier now.

Some people asked me about my six and half years. I started with Catherine Gray - Unexpected Joy. That's a great read. Then Mrs D is Going Without, a New Zealander. Very good for a "normal life" perspective ie not a homeless wino but someone who appeared to have a good life but destroying themselves internally. Belle Robertson though is fabulous. Her 100 day challenge and description of Wolfie really helped me and she does podcasts and email support.

God, I ate so much sugar and cake that first year and that's another challenge but that gets better as well.

But what helped was little triumphs. Eg my sons and friends were in the city at 3am, no taxis, seven miles away and they rang me. Normally on a Saturday night I would be over the limit (and then some!) but I was able hear the phone because I was sleeping normally, and then I was able to drive in and make two rescue "airlifts" to being the eight of them home. I was a good parent that night! Thats the kind of story I keep telling myself.

@TheMentalMentalLoad @VillageIdiott you have both made the first step by posting here and not letting this slip continue longer. Sending love and support.

Thank you everyone. I don’t feel quite as full of shame as I did this morning but I’m absolutely shattered due to the dreadful wine fuelled sleep / dreams etc.

I can’t wait to wake up tomorrow with that lovely feeling that hits when you don’t drink the night before. I had nearly 100 days of that before March.

@TheMentalMentalLoad it will feel great. I don’t know if you like podcasts but I’m listening to these every opportunity I get - ‘Sober stories from everyday people’. I’m only very early in my journey but these are helping and inspiring me to continue.

@TheMentalMentalLoad and @VillageIdiott - absolutely no reproach or shame from me or Sid; we send you our love and encouragement. Try not to feel TOO wretched (easier typed than done, I know). I've had more day 1s than Sid's got whiskers. You've both been under severe provocation, no wonder you crumbled. Be kind to yourself, breathe and reboot. It will be alright.

You're still valued and supported here. xx

Oh lovely lovely SID, I’ve missed his lovely face.

I’ve never really got into Podcasts @TickleMeElmo1i struggle to focus and listen to them without fidgeting my hands. I much prefer a book but thank you for the suggestion. I’ll make a note of it in case I do find a good way to listen to them.

Good morning all.
Up early again. Tis weird.

I'm chasing a big job today as its a quick commute and Harry Enfield money. I sent on old CV so I must resubmit. Semi retired me but I might give the sapphire blue Mulberry an outing for this! Not sure whether to wear a dress or trousers to the interview. It will be all blokes.

I've got a friend coming today who's quite boozy. I've put the pre mixed af G and T in the fridge already.

Morning all
Good luck today Wendy. A perfect time to give the mulberry a spin.
I've struggled to wake up the last couple of days. Not really sure why. Am sleeping fine.
I've stopped feeding the birds due to the RSPB advice but swear there is now more daily bird s*t on my car than usual. It is not parked under a tree. Those blue tits can hold a grudge.

Much love to those on day 1, 2, 3. We've all been there. As Annie Grace says, it's just a data point.

Good luck with the interview, Wendy. I don't know how you keep up😀. One day you are retired and looking for a cottage, the next you are making adaptations to your house and interviewing for work. It would drive my ADD brain into a tailspin.

Is it possible for you and your husband to take a couple of weeks somewhere away from it all and decide what you really want to do (or what would be best in the circumstances, anyway)? It must be so stressful with so much up in the air all the time.