Calling Time on Wine - 100 Day Reset | Thread 2: One Day at a Time - Together

[therockingbird]

Welcome to Thread 2 of Calling Time on Wine 100 Day Reset 🍵

If you’re here, you’re doing something genuinely brilliant. This reset isn’t about perfection, shiny lives, or pretending it’s easy. It’s about choosing ourselves one day at a time, even when life keeps lobbing chaos our way.

We’ve already proven we can sit with hard evenings, bad days, stress, boredom, celebrations, and still not reach for wine.

Thread 2 is about keeping the momentum going, supporting each other, being honest when it’s tough, celebrating the wins and remembering why we started when motivation wobbles. Clearer heads. Stronger bodies. 💪

So pull up a chair, grab your tea, water, or AF alternative, and keep going. You are not doing this alone - and you are doing so well. 💛

@2026x really interesting insights, thanks. I simply can’t imagine being like your DH, particularly this bit:

Drink does not fill any hole for him or act as any kind of a plaster or a distraction.

That is an alien concept to me!

It's simple, it's uncomplicated - he enjoys it but he doesn't need it, it's not a problem not to have it.

I wonder if it’s kind of like me with steak (just one example). If I’m in a restaurant and it’s on the menu I’ll have it and enjoy it, then not eat another steak for a few months - probably not until next time I see it on a menu - and won’t give it a second thought in between.

Afternoon.

@AuraBora - I count that as a win. Having a few sips and then deciding the beer didn’t serve you well is such a huge step forward. I’m going to say something incredibly cheesy but it’s a journey with bumps in the road. Look how far we have come, we will all have blips, it’s going to happen. It’s also a lesson, you stopped and examined why you wanted to drink and didn’t press the fuck it button.

@SwiftyFifty. maybe time to speak to the doctor, we can’t just put everything down to giving up alcohol. Perhaps the menopause - everything seems to get blamed on that at the moment (😊,). If you a really tired, it makes sense to get some bloods done.

Still here, I’ve had hardly any anxiety in the last week. I’m usually riddled with it. Now I have just recently started oral progesterone (previously had a Mirena) so it’s hard to look at something in isolation, but I’m sure not drinking is helping too.

Interesting discussion re what’s a normal drinker. I know loads. My DC are normal drinkers. DS for example will split a small beer with his dad while watching the football - the small bottles of Peroni for example. So that’s less than a unit and he’ll not drink for a week or two or three until the next one. Or he might grab a beer if we are having a takeout but that will be it. DD doesn’t really do this, but might drink a bit too much on a night out (maybe once a month or two) feel a bit crap the next day, but then leave it again for another month or two or even more. If we had a bottle of champagne to celebrate something, she’s more likely to have a glass then, DS won’t bother with that. My DB is always designated driver in his marriage as his never has more than a small beer and often not that.

Thanks @needastrongone I agree and am not putting it down to giving up alcohol as I know my iron levels are low ( think I posted my blood results last week) so waiting to see what can be done.

I think in many ways it’s like me with food in general. I have a friend who used to comfort eat. I could never really get my head round it because, to me, food is very tasty and I enjoy it a lot but it won’t make me happy if I’m sad. It’s not emotional for me at all. For her, food was emotional, it gave her comfort. Interestingly she has addressed her food issues though work in the ACA program (adult children of alcoholics) so she has ‘done the work’ in the same way an alcoholic might.

I’m a ‘normal eater’, but I don’t drink like I eat 😂

Thanks all for the supportive comments - supe helpful.
@SwiftyFifty white rice and loo roll at 9pm :) it's probably a good thing for me I've never used much online ordering for groceries!

The normal drinker thing is interesting to me because after thinking so much about my own drinking over the years I reckon I can spot someone who drinks "differently" even if they don't drink in a disordered way.

Normal drinkers literally take it or leave it. It is a nice addition to some occasions but doesn't really matter to them.

Then some people are like me - there is never enough.

And then some people drink moderately but they are imposing that moderation. My BIL is like that as are a couple of friends. They have it under control but they see alcohol as something they need to control whereas the "normal" drinkers don't.

Recently I asked my DP if he wanted a beer and he said yes, so I put my shoes on to go outside and he said, “where are you going?” I said there weren’t any in the fridge in the kitchen so I was going to the garage to get some more. He said, “oh don’t bother, it’s raining, I’ll just have a fizzy water instead.” 🤯🤯🤯

The start of week 7 today. Wow! Just that really. I’m finding I think about “ it” ie wine less and less now.
Happy Wednesday folks I’m determined to be positive today!

I can’t even, lol 🤯 🤣

Wowsers!!! That really is something. I sound like a broken record but I’m so damn proud of myself. To have gone from 70-plus units a week to 0 feels huge. It’s a real boost to my self esteem to know that I’ve achieved this.

Well done @freshstart2026 , it seems absolutely incredible how our brains can " switch"..I rarely think about alcohol now, even when I see adverts ( good job I live alone because I now hiss "liars" at the adverts 🤣)
And I tut very loudly when any problem is solved over a drink or thin good looking people drink copiously in films and dramas without any weight gain/ slurring/ hangovers - try it, it's most satisfying.
I wouldn't be such a puritan party pooper in real life though...I have just realised that I can't moderate and..... here's the astonishing bit...I don't want to. Planning my next drink/ negotiating with myself/ admonishing myself took up so much time and energy....so although I feel sad at the waste of time and money I also feel proud.
Advertising lies to us, alcohol does not help.
It certainly dulls emotions and I know there will be a lot of temptation in the future to "take the edge off" but for now, one day at a time, I feel I'm in control.
I've read all the quit lit, joined online groups, done the hypnosis and I think it must have had a cumulative effect. But I think actual days distance from alcohol, not having a top up, having space away to allow my brain to make other connections has helped this time, thanks to everyone on here

@Iamateadrinker yup - alcohol really is so embedded in our culture isn’t it? In a way that smoking no longer is.

I was thinking about the self esteem thing - how managing 41 days sober has made me feel really good about myself. A big part of the reason I drank was to block out feelings of low self esteem - but of course alcohol only makes the issue worse as you can’t be your best due to the hangovers. So you drink again to escape the feelings - and it’s a vicious cycle.

@freshstart2026 I feel much better about myself too. Knowing deep down that you are abusing your body and deceiving the people around you (in my case) is an awful thing to live with.

I know 😂I just looked at him.... like WTF!! 😂

If it were me i'd be setting off on a polar expedition to get the beer if I had decided I was having one.

Yes this 😂 I won't go to the shop just for bread, I'll make do, but if I decide I want wine I'll head out in a snowstorm to buy some.

Completely! 🤣

Well done everyone on another day sober 💪 Goodnight!

Ive had a couple of moments where ive really fancied getting a bottle this week - worst since I started and Im on week 7. Ive sat with the moment and let it pass - it always does. Ive reflected on the 'why'. Once was when I had had an amazing workday. My head kind of went 'i deserve a treat, i deserve this, you are OWED this'. So instead I got choccie from shop.

The other time was a bad day. Not a horrific one, just an argument with boyfriend that did get resolved, but Im shit with conflict and overthink and ruminate and I felt like I 'needed' the wine to just accept it was over and chill. With that there was really no 'chill' substitute so I just sat with it, I did tell my boyfriend and share my feelings (hes v. supportive) and we just had a cuddle instead.

The first one was more successful than the second tbh. The second I just had to deal with the stressed feelings. By the morning I was fine.

Its like bloody therapy isnt it? Its soooo much more than going AF for me - its learning about myself and my coping mechanisms for life. Well for me anyway.

Morning, my sleep has gone to shit this week. I've had about 6 hours but had to be up early today as I've got an engineer coming to service my boiler soon.
I'm on day 38 not had any huge cravings for about a week but last night I was feeling really flat and bored. I didn't want a drink but was really missing that feeling of being a bit spaced out and fuzzy.
@amibeingaknob well done on not caving and working through those triggers. Ive heard its like flexing a muscle each time we do this and retraining our brains neuro pathways.

I didn't want a drink but was really missing that feeling of being a bit spaced out and fuzzy.

@Icecreamhelps I know what you mean. I don’t know why I seek that feeling - is it relaxing? Escapism? Just…nice?! Probably all three.

Its like bloody therapy isnt it? Its soooo much more than going AF for me - its learning about myself and my coping mechanisms for life

@amibeingaknob Completely. Sometimes I feel I don’t fully know myself and I think it’s because I’ve drunk alcohol for so long. I’ve always avoided thoughts and feelings rather than facing them and dealing with them head on.

Chat GPT advised me that weeks 7-10 are hard as you are in that middle space where the initial euphoria and benefits are now usual and the real benefits haven’t fully kicked in yet. I wish I knew how to copy from there as it was very interesting
i too felt very flat and bored last few days and feeling that I “ want” something to take me out of myself.

Thanks for the heads up. It’s good to be prepared as we enter week seven…

@SwiftyFifty YES! This resonates with me. Almost a 'is this it then?' feeling. So I cant celebrate, I cant be sad and numb myself, I can 'relax' after a shit day - really? The reality is sinking in I think. For me this is forever, so I think its sinking in that I wont ever be able to do those things and I have to find other ways to feel those things - or accept I cant. I can see that celebrations and happiness can be achieved in others ways - numbing cant but thats not a healthy way to deal with things anyway. And like @freshstart2026 I have definately for years and years been using alcohol to numb feels. Now I have to just feel them - which sucks and is scary. I guess the penny has dropped that I have a LOT of work to do on myself.

@freshstart2026 for me I think I just want to detach and zone out. I need to find healthier ways of doing this. I used to listen to music a lot when I was a teenager with headphones on just lay on my bed, I swear Pink Floyd could take my brain to another dimension.
On my three months sober last year I was going to a sound bath once a fortnight I found that extremely relaxing but it is a bit expensive.
I'm struggling with ankle tendonitis once this has settled I'm going get back into walking more.