Calling Time on Wine - 100 Day Reset | Thread 2: One Day at a Time - Together

[therockingbird]

Welcome to Thread 2 of Calling Time on Wine 100 Day Reset 🍵

If you’re here, you’re doing something genuinely brilliant. This reset isn’t about perfection, shiny lives, or pretending it’s easy. It’s about choosing ourselves one day at a time, even when life keeps lobbing chaos our way.

We’ve already proven we can sit with hard evenings, bad days, stress, boredom, celebrations, and still not reach for wine.

Thread 2 is about keeping the momentum going, supporting each other, being honest when it’s tough, celebrating the wins and remembering why we started when motivation wobbles. Clearer heads. Stronger bodies. 💪

So pull up a chair, grab your tea, water, or AF alternative, and keep going. You are not doing this alone - and you are doing so well. 💛

Sorry that’s 20k calories!

Good morning to all! Feeling proud of myself for reaching day 36. I’m so glad I found this thread (and all you people!) after not being able to find a Dry January one. I’d have been back on the booze by now!

Oof that is hard @ThisIsMyBurnerPhone. I agree with Swifty - I’d say I was on antibiotics. Come back and let us know how you get on after the event.

@CantThinkOfAnotherUsernane welcome to the thread! I was also a bottle of wine a night drinker. This thread is fantastic for support, you are in the right place!

Day 31 I'm not having any cravings as such and I've not been out in a social setting that will come. I'm just feeling a bit flat the pink cloud has up and left. I know that this is just a phase so I'm rationalising that my neurological pathways are still re-calibrating. On the plus side my sleep in amazing, the heavy bags under my eyes are slowly improving.
I'm going to start some gentle exercise to see if that lifts me out of this slump I've not wanted to push myself to much this time but I feel introducing a small routine every other day will help now.
Last year when I did 3 months a threw myself into exercise too early and got a bit obsessed using it as a distraction so I need to be mindful not to do that again.
I have started cooking every night again and we've not had any takeaways so I must be saving a fortune.
@therockingbird oh god I cringe at the drunken phone calls I've had and texts feels good not being scared to open my phone in the morning.
@SwiftyFifty thanks for the post on moderation. I've been on and off this alcohol merry go round for over 9 years now, before that I was an occasional drinker and then it became daily like a lot of us to deal with stress or trauma. Every time I try moderation it becomes all consuming and I end up relapsing harder each time. So I'm still on the fence about it. My recent experience of withdrawing tells me I can't.

oh god I cringe at the drunken phone calls I've had and texts feels good not being scared to open my phone in the morning.

Same. That feeling of being scared to open your phone is the worst 😣 I wouldn’t pick fights with anyone but would send or post things on FB that I thought were hilarious but really, really weren’t. So embarrassing 😳

Ive done this too - even when I’m drinking on my own at home there comes a point where I become an exhibitionist on WhatsApp groups. I think I’m incredibly insightful or funny when I’m drunk and I just have to share my most crass thoughts . The next day I feel like crawling into an hole.
I went to a gathering last night with my af fizz. I was the only one not drinking. I felt very tense and stiff.
I need to find non alcoholic ways of letting my body relax . I even wake up with shoulders tense and hunched!
My pink cloud left me a week or so ago. I’ve had one blip ( which I regretted) . I can see loads of benefits to being aF . ( my self esteem is much better and my mental health is vastly improved)
I wish I could find a way to be less tense though.

@SoberannSerene could meditation, some form of yoga or similar help you feel less tense? Well done for not drinking at the gathering. I find those types of situations soooo hard.

I think I’m incredibly insightful or funny when I’m drunk and I just have to share my most crass thoughts . The next day I feel like crawling into an hole.

Me too 😳

@SoberannSerene I've been taking magnesium by glycinate at night about an hour before I go to bed and a mug of horlicks.
Last night I did an all over body skin brush, had a shower then moisturiser I found the process really relaxing. Tonight I'm going to soak my feet in some Epsom salts and give them some TLC.

Thank you @Icecreamhelpsand @freshstart2026
I will give that a try!

Morning.

Welcome, @CantThinkOfAnotherUsernane , one day at a time is all we can do. I prefer to think about it like that too. Dry February for me is a nice manageable chuck before I think about March.

Still here - I’ve the cold from hell so it’s almost counting as a free week as I’ve absolutely so desire to drink. We’ve friends over tomorrow but they are our closest friends and seen me moderate a lot last year and would never do anything other than support me being AF. They will have a drink though I am sure, which is cool.

Hello, checking in on day 37, creeping up to 40 days which is pretty awesome.

One thing I've realised over the past 5+ weeks is that, my evenings aren't any worse for not drinking. I'm not really missing anything.

I still do the exact same thing...sit and read or watch TV with a drink. The only difference is I'm drinking a can of pop or trip, not wine. But my enjoyment of the evening, the drink that I'm having and me having that time to chill and de-stress? The same. Maybe even better as I don't have to read with one eye closed so I can focus on the words and I remember what I read/watched. It's an interesting realisation as I really felt like the alcohol was adding something to my evenings in terms of unwinding.

Despite feeling a million times better physically and mentally compared to how I was in December, I still often feel like this is a temporary stage (albeit a long one at 100 days!) and I’m “waiting” until I can have a drink again. How do I get rid of that thought I wonder?!

Also, it’s interesting to me that what I’m experiencing now is “real life” (with no mind-altering substances to change it). I feel great - healthy, alert, fresh - but still think fairly often: “Is that all there is”! If this IS all there is then it really is okay - I have a LOT to be grateful for. I’ve noticed watching films and reading more is enriching me in a way I haven’t experienced for a long while. Perhaps doing more of that is the key.

I can’t articulate what I’m getting at really - not sure I even know. Perhaps it’s what Ian C said - this is what peace and calm feels like. I’ve not experienced it for a long, long time so it feels kind of strange. I don’t swing between highs and lows anymore I s’pose is the difference. I do feel content.

@ThisIsMyBurnerPhone I had exactly the same situation last time I was alcohol free and it was hard. I got through it, but I had been ill prepared. He's what I'd do this time. Make sure you have a snack beforehand and you are well hydrated & not thirsty! If there is a bar there, go and get something else: once at a party, I asked them to pour me a large sparkling water into a gin balloon and put some garnish on it, so everyone thought I was drinking G&T. I wasn't - but it kept people off my backs as it wasn't a conversation I wanted to have with people I didn't really know. I've been known to hide in the toilet and take deep breaths. Also, it is kind of fun watching people drink: you'll see that a lot of them are not actually drinking that much! And the ones who are get louder and sloppier and kinda puts you off a bit. Good luck, you can do this!

@freshstart2026 I can relate to what you are saying. I cracked after 103 days last time. (And hoped I'd be "fixed" and all that!) I did experience some real pink cloud a couple of times. I think maybe it's replacing that noisy chaos with calm. When you're not actively drinking/planning drinking/recovering from drinking, it frees up a lot of brain space. Which might be mistaken for boredom. As I understand, the real benefits often come with longer term sobriety "the gift that keeps on giving."

@freshstart2026 I think that’s the problem when you have an end date. It’s like giving up chocolate for Lent. You know it’s only a temporary sacrifice. I know we have our 100 days and I think potentially we found the Dry Jan not too difficult because our End Date wasn’t looming. I wonder would it be easier to think “ I don’t drink” and not have an end date as such. It might be easier and stop that “ waiting for something to happen” feeling. I did this when I finally stopped “ looking for a man” and it really does help. Incidentally, I never found one but that’s for another thread I reckon!!

Despite feeling a million times better physically and mentally compared to how I was in December, I still often feel like this is a temporary stage (albeit a long one at 100 days!) and I’m “waiting” until I can have a drink again. How do I get rid of that thought I wonder?!

The way I look at it now is I don't have to get rid of that thought. I just have to not drink now and worry about drinking 100 days from now when that time arrives.

I figure I can drink whenever I want - that is the reality. I just don't have to.

@freshstart2026 I think that you can probably think of that "Is this it?" feeling as a consequence of the neural pathways we have created over many years. As you say, life is objectively fine without alcohol (better for most of us) but our brain is used to the highs (and the lows) that alcohol brings. You are forging new neural pathways now while you don't drink. In time you won't miss the old pathways so much. (Caveat - I don't know how that works if you go back to moderate drinking...) I do definitely identify with that 'flat' feeling though.

This is what I found too. It's the relaxing that is relaxing, not the alcohol! Who knew?!

Thank you for the welcome. I’ve read every post on the thread.
Today at work my brain started the familiar “you’ve gone 4 days, that’s enough. You could have a drink tonight or even at the weekend” I don’t even want to drink but it’s interesting how our brains interpret that.
I won’t drink tonight, I play it forward and think how I’d feel when I wake up in the morning. Headache, tired, thirsty, I don’t want to feel like that.
Today is day 5 for me and it’s the longest I’ve gone without since Dry Jan last year so I know why my brains trying to trick me.
Glad I found this thread so I can post for support from people who get it

Day 4 here @CantThinkOfAnotherUsernane so we're at a similar stage. It's weird isn't it, I don't actually want to drink but my brain keeps throwing out all this whatabouttery! It'll be tomorrow and Saturday that will be more dangerous and difficult, however, I did a 14 week spell back in 2024 so I know I can do it.

Thank you, you total rock stars, for all your support. I’m on the train to the event. You are keeping me accountable and I’ll definitely update.

@HelloSkeletonFace3 tomorrow and Saturday will be my biggest challenges too. We know we can do it we just have to show our brains that.
Im planning on buying some nice AF drinks for the weekend. On that note can anyone recommend a nice AF white wine?

@CantThinkOfAnotherUsernane I am of the opinion that white and red AF wines are way behind their beer and spirit counterparts but I have opened a bottle of this this evening and it’s pretty good as AF wines go, with enough acidity to feel wine-like and nicely dry: https://www.marksandspencer.com/food/divin-alcohol-free-sauvignon-blanc/p/fdp60774742.

Think it helps that I’m attempting it on day 37… I think a bit of distance from the memory of real wine definitely makes a difference!

@SwiftyFifty yup, I certainly found Dry Jan easier because I wasn’t counting down to the 31st.

@2026x I think you’re right about neural pathways. It’s wonderful to think we’re forging new ones.

Today I had a challenging day at work but dealt with it calmly and well. I’m really proud of myself. Being stone cold sober absolutely helped.

Tonight I did some chores, cooked a meal from scratch, had a soak in the bath and an AF beer. I’m going to bed feeling satisfied and content. Life is good.

Not a complete success but not a disaster. A friend texted as we were travelling in to meet on the way. The only place near the station was a busy pub. I had a tonic water, she had a wine. It felt ok, but it was such a busy pub there were part drunk glasses of wine from other customers on the table. It felt literally in my face. It’s the first time I’ve seen her since I’ve separated from my DH, and there have been work challenges, so the conversation was hard.

We went on to the event. The drinks reception had started. I have some social anxiety. Th bar was a table with pre poured red or white wine. I couldn’t see anything else. I panicked and asked for a glass of white wine. I could not see anyone without an alcoholic drink. I sipped it through the reception, took it in with me to the event, finished it over about an hour. Then at the dinner there was a water already being poured but three other empty glasses to my right. The question was are you drinking red or white. I asked for white, and drank one glass during the meal. No port. A man next to me told my colleague she wasn’t drinking quickly enough and she said she’d make it a goal for next time. He didn’t say anything about me. Nobody got drunk at my table. I didn’t feel any effect from the wine apart from a bitter taste. If didn’t do anything for me. I slept ok, woke around 5am, but have been doing that for a while.

I’m annoyed with myself, but also forgiving. It was a blip and I moderated for the first time. I don’t want to be a drinker though, I prefer not to be, I’ve just got to make a plan for the next event like that. I think I would ring them ahead of time and ask for something to be on the table, or talk to the organisers. I could do it by email ahead of time but not in the moment with crowds around me.

Morning everyone.
For a split second when I woke up this morning I felt like I’d had a drink last night, I immediately felt disappointed in myself until I realised I’d not had a drink, the brain is a very funny thing.
@GreenCherries thank you for the recommendation, I’ll give it a go at some point. I quite like the AF beers so might start off with them then move onto AF wine later on.
Tonight and tomorrow will be my big challenges, Friday and Saturday nights were always nights where I had wine (along with every other) as I felt I deserved the treat. I don’t want to undo my work though and don’t want to wake up feeling groggy so I’ll be staying AF.

Good Morning, woke up at 6am without an alarm, my sleep just keeps getting better. That alone is keeping me from wanting to drink, I actually get excited to get in bed. When I was drinking I would wake up at 3am with the most horrible anxiety and really dark thoughts on occasion I would have a drink just to stop them that was how bad I had got.
@freshstart2026 my job can be very challenging and I was really struggling to deal with it. Now I just deal with it I don't feel stressed or on edge all the time I'm enjoying it again and performing much better.
@2026x I've been reading up on the timeline of neurological recovery after daily drinking and a timeline of what to expect. It's helped me not get too despondent when I'm having an off day knowing what's happening in the background. At the moment I feel like I'm sat in the waiting room of a garage when my car is having a mot/service then when I get it back it's all clean and drives like a dream.
I discovered a new soft drink I like cherry juice with a squeeze of lime ice topped up with sparkling water.