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Calling Time on Wine - 100 Day Reset | Thread 2: One Day at a Time - Together

1000 replies

therockingbird · 22/01/2026 19:49

Welcome to Thread 2 of Calling Time on Wine 100 Day Reset 🍵

If you’re here, you’re doing something genuinely brilliant. This reset isn’t about perfection, shiny lives, or pretending it’s easy. It’s about choosing ourselves one day at a time, even when life keeps lobbing chaos our way.

We’ve already proven we can sit with hard evenings, bad days, stress, boredom, celebrations, and still not reach for wine.

Thread 2 is about keeping the momentum going, supporting each other, being honest when it’s tough, celebrating the wins and remembering why we started when motivation wobbles. Clearer heads. Stronger bodies. 💪

So pull up a chair, grab your tea, water, or AF alternative, and keep going. You are not doing this alone - and you are doing so well. 💛

OP posts:
therockingbird · 03/02/2026 21:07

Hedjwitch · 03/02/2026 18:27

Am away for work in a hotel in London. Previously, bottle of wine in my room. Now,waiting for food in a busy pub,drinking an AF beer. Must admit, I really had to work at the choice but am doing it. Shrieking woman at next table isnt helping mind you!

Well done!!! You’ll wake up tomorrow feeling much better having not had a drink, that’s for sure. Enjoy the comfy bed 🤩

OP posts:
GreenCherries · 03/02/2026 21:16

Checking in on day 35- 5 weeks done!

No thoughts of wine at all lately which is odd really, seemed to have settled into a nice little daily routine and I look forward to my evening AF fizz. Getting up early to exercise daily now and it feels great tracking my fitness and diet progress.

Have my first girls night out on Friday which will be a messy drunk party for most. I’m looking forward to having fun AF and heading home in my car whenever I have had enough, nice to be able to give friends lifts too. Social stuff has never really bothered me sober though, I don’t like being ‘trapped’ on nights out and having to wait to share taxis with people when I want to go home etc so not unusual for me to drive. Funny really given how much and how often I drank at home the rest of the time!!

AuraBora · 03/02/2026 21:27

BlahBlahName · 03/02/2026 15:10

On the topic of moderation.
Moderation sounds good. Everything in moderation, right? Moderation is something to aspire to, to achieve? Giving up, restricting, sober, it all sounds bleak and dull. But the truth is that giving up is simple and moderation is really difficult. Giving up is one decision, the same decision, each day (I'm not saying it's easy, but it is simple). Moderation is the on-going noise in your head all day, every day. First to drink or not to drink, how much, when, what. Once you start, the negotiation begins again (another glass, another bottle). Then the next day negotiations (I'll skip that thing I was going to get up early for, I'll see if someone else can bring them, etc etc).
Not drinking anymore brings simplicity. One decision, don't drink today.

This is so true. I feel liberated again from the endless mental battle with moderation.
As I mentioned here before- I did 7 months Jan-Jul last year, drank on holiday and spent rest of the year trying to moderate but failing miserably and drinking most days. By Christmas I felt horrid but just carried on because, well, it's the festive season! I felt so ready to try again this year, and although im still a bit up and down emotionally (days of feeling really flat but this is well explained by the now infamous Ian C :)

It's great to see new joiners- wishing you all well on this journey!

AuraBora · 03/02/2026 21:29

Sorry - so tired I didn't finish a sentence there. Meant to say although im a bit up and down emotionally, I do feel more calm and in control of my life. I feel like I'm on the right path!

Ladymuckypuddle · 04/02/2026 00:11

Checking in with day 34 completed. Full of a brutal flu and feeling board, fed up and irritated but still dry with no thoughts of alcohol. Welcome to all the new people wishing you all luck on your journey whatever that looks like for you personally. A lot of poignant and wise words on this thread today, I can resonate with you all pretty much. @Crocodocodile we will all be here for you if you need us anytime.

Benefits noted today of a alcohol free life, the inches are dropping off my body. Will take that even though I feel absolutely like shit and look like shit 🤣😭

Thank you all so much for being here. Sending you all strength and Flowers here's to another dry day for us all tomorrow.

ThisIsMyBurnerPhone · 04/02/2026 05:15

You are an inspiration @therockingbird
Well done for leaving and putting your boys first. I also think ever day that my DC need me and that I have to live a long glide for them.

freshstart2026 · 04/02/2026 08:06

Day 35 and I am once again peeing like there’s no tomorrow. After doing some googling on this, it sounds like it could my body detoxing - I hope so!

https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/umyypv/anyone_know_why_you_have_to_pee_a_lot_when_you/

Lemonyyy · 04/02/2026 10:12

Hi. I hope you don't mind my joining you all. I did dry January and would really like to continue on for longer but I'm finding my family and friends are not particularly supportive and it makes it way harder to go beyond dry January. Last year my sister's particularly spiteful "Lemonyyy's being BORING" at a family gathering when asked why I wasn't drinking really fucked with my head and I can expect similar levels of enthusiasm from my parents. I guess I'm just looking for a bit of gentle community - my husband did dry Jan with me and is supportive of me continuing, but is back on the booze now so I feel a bit alone, and drinking is generally my coping strategy when I feel alone, so it's a bit of a vicious cycle!

I am not drinking because my anxiety is so improved, my self talk is easier to redirect, I am sleeping better and waking up without an alarm, I am enjoying exercise and not being groggy all the time, and because I am feeling more present and calm with my kids.

I completely agree with the poster above on moderation - I don't have to have a raging argument with myself every evening over if I have a drink, the answer is just no. When it might be yes it's much harder!

HelloSkeletonFace3 · 04/02/2026 10:29

How much better are mornings when you're alcohol free!

  • I wake up feeling so much better physically and mentally. No shame, no self-loathing, no broken promises, no anxious 3am crisis, no palpitations, no dry sahara throat.
  • I know that I wasn't a twat last night. I know that I kept to my word. I didn't have to argue with myself (HOW TIRING IS IT TO BE ARGUING WITH YOURSELF ALL THE TIME....) I don't have to check my phone in case I've forgotten a conversation or an internet purchase. I know what I said, did, watched, read, and I know I didn't poison myself. I took my make up off and brushed my teeth. I know I made the good, right choice and I know I won't wake up anxious and ashamed. I go to bed grateful.
2026x · 04/02/2026 11:01

@Lemonyyy well done on Dry Jan! I am sorry to hear your family aren't being very supportive. You don't owe them an explanation but do you think it would help to talk to them (not at the point at which they are offering you a drink) and explain how much happier you are being AF?

2026x · 04/02/2026 11:24

@HelloSkeletonFace3 I often feel a little rush of relief when I wake up and I realise I haven't been drinking 😂

HelloSkeletonFace3 · 04/02/2026 12:17

It's a huge relief @2026x , especially when you have had a very realistic drinking dream! (I remember having those when I last quit and they are so vivid, but apparently very normal)

AuraBora · 04/02/2026 12:22

Lemonyyy · 04/02/2026 10:12

Hi. I hope you don't mind my joining you all. I did dry January and would really like to continue on for longer but I'm finding my family and friends are not particularly supportive and it makes it way harder to go beyond dry January. Last year my sister's particularly spiteful "Lemonyyy's being BORING" at a family gathering when asked why I wasn't drinking really fucked with my head and I can expect similar levels of enthusiasm from my parents. I guess I'm just looking for a bit of gentle community - my husband did dry Jan with me and is supportive of me continuing, but is back on the booze now so I feel a bit alone, and drinking is generally my coping strategy when I feel alone, so it's a bit of a vicious cycle!

I am not drinking because my anxiety is so improved, my self talk is easier to redirect, I am sleeping better and waking up without an alarm, I am enjoying exercise and not being groggy all the time, and because I am feeling more present and calm with my kids.

I completely agree with the poster above on moderation - I don't have to have a raging argument with myself every evening over if I have a drink, the answer is just no. When it might be yes it's much harder!

Re family - my mum is the same, I don't expect there is an evening in the last 10 years she hasn't had at least one glass of wine (apart from maybe if ill). I haven't even bothered to tell her about this new attempt as I know she will be discouraging. She thinks people who don't drink are boring and preachy.
But it is what it is.. she isn't one for being empathetic or trying to understand and support others, thats just how she is.
My sis on the other hand is great - she told me she's doing dry Feb as she was inspired by how much dry Jan was doing for me.
I know it's hard but try not to take too much notice of them.. you know why you're doing it and you have a supportive DP which is great. Same for me - mine drinks but not as much as I did, or can, and I've told him ot doesn't make any difference to me whether he drinks or not (in terms of temptation).

GoodNamesOnly · 04/02/2026 13:15

Just adding my agreement on moderation - if I have a glass, I will want the whole bottle. It's just way easier not to have the glass.

I wouldn't actually be drunk on a bottle of wine, so it isn't really about feelings of shame and remorse for me. More that I need to start taking better care of my body. In a way that makes it hard because I can easily say to myself I don't need to make that change today. But, if not now, when?

The conversation I am having with myself this week is about a family gathering at the weekend and what I will say. It was easy having Dry January as a reason. I don't want to invite questions. I know this is just me over-thinking what is not that big a deal.

therockingbird · 04/02/2026 14:13

GoodNamesOnly · 04/02/2026 13:15

Just adding my agreement on moderation - if I have a glass, I will want the whole bottle. It's just way easier not to have the glass.

I wouldn't actually be drunk on a bottle of wine, so it isn't really about feelings of shame and remorse for me. More that I need to start taking better care of my body. In a way that makes it hard because I can easily say to myself I don't need to make that change today. But, if not now, when?

The conversation I am having with myself this week is about a family gathering at the weekend and what I will say. It was easy having Dry January as a reason. I don't want to invite questions. I know this is just me over-thinking what is not that big a deal.

I’m exactly the same. I can’t moderate – it’s all or nothing. If I have one, I’ll want the rest. So nothing it is. Not because I was “out of control”, but because it’s actually easier for me this way.

I’ve got teenage boys who need me present, regulated and available. I’m a single mum doing it all solo, and I don’t have the luxury of writing myself off, even slightly. This is my why.

As for gatherings – I’m learning to just own it. No big explanation, no defending myself.
“I’m not drinking at the moment.”
“That works better for me.” End of story.

Most of the pressure is in our heads. Other people move on far quicker than we think. And if they don’t? That’s theirs, not mine.

You’re not overthinking because you’re weak - you’re overthinking because you care. And choosing yourself now instead of “someday” is exactly the point. 💪

OP posts:
amibeingaknob · 04/02/2026 15:21

I had my brother on the phone telling me off for going to the family occassion a week last Saturday and not drinking and 'coming to his house and being boring and not drinking on his birthday' - and how this weekend is the same as its another gathering and he said, 'well you may as well not come if you aren't going to get in the spirit'. I told him to bugger off and Im having migraines at the moment. So clealry there is going to be a guilt trip about how im no fun and i ruin things. Knobhead.
Annoying cos his wife (my closest friend) often goes sober, but I guess Im known for being a lush and being a 'laugh' so others dont like it when I dont drink. Tough tits.

Honestly his reaction has made me dig my heels in more. grrr...

2026x · 04/02/2026 15:26

@GoodNamesOnly "Just adding my agreement on moderation - if I have a glass, I will want the whole bottle. It's just way easier not to have the glass." this precise thought is what often stops me having a drink. My thought process goes like this -

Me - "I'd like a glass of wine"
Also me - "but you won't have one, you'll have the bottle. Do you want to drink a bottle of wine, to yourself, at home when no-one else is drinking?"
Me - "Ermmmmm... no 😩"
Also me - "right, well you can't have the glass then."
Me - 😭

anewyearthisyear · 04/02/2026 15:51

amibeingaknob · 04/02/2026 15:21

I had my brother on the phone telling me off for going to the family occassion a week last Saturday and not drinking and 'coming to his house and being boring and not drinking on his birthday' - and how this weekend is the same as its another gathering and he said, 'well you may as well not come if you aren't going to get in the spirit'. I told him to bugger off and Im having migraines at the moment. So clealry there is going to be a guilt trip about how im no fun and i ruin things. Knobhead.
Annoying cos his wife (my closest friend) often goes sober, but I guess Im known for being a lush and being a 'laugh' so others dont like it when I dont drink. Tough tits.

Honestly his reaction has made me dig my heels in more. grrr...

Edited

I hope you realise that there is something deeply wrong with this. Most normal people don't really notice whether somebody is drinking or not and for most people having a good time isn't dependent on people around them drinking or not drinking.

My guess is that your brother is taking this personally because he deep down wonders about his own drinking and his sister stopping throws that into relief - ditto with a lot of previous posters who are getting pushback on not drinking. It isn't about you it is about the person complaining about you being sober.

amibeingaknob · 04/02/2026 17:20

He doesnt have a problem. Never drinks at home. Only on social occasions and he just gets nicely pissed. He just really enjoys his nights out with me on the sauce. Its fun, I get it. But i still think I was pretty good company the other night, we had a right laugh, he still got nicely sloshed, as did everyone else, we were still raucously laughing all night. I think hes just being annoying to wind me up tbh. We do that - still 10 year olds at heart, haha.

Ill just tell him to shut the fuck up when im there Saturday.

SwiftyFifty · 04/02/2026 21:55

Is it possible to moderate after fifty?

Short answer.
Yes.

Real answer.
For most people, no.

And that gap between those two answers is where the damage happens.

Midlife is when this question shows up properly.
Not at 25.
Not when hangovers are annoying but manageable.

At fifty.

When sleep fragments.
When hormones wobble.
When anxiety appears out of nowhere.
When recovery costs more than the night was worth.

So you ask the grown-up question.

“Can I just drink less?”
“Can I keep it occasional?”
“Can I be normal with it now?”

Here’s the part nobody wants to hear.

Moderation doesn’t fail because you’re weak.
It fails because your biology has changed.

At fifty, your nervous system isn’t forgiving anymore.
Your liver isn’t fast.
Your sleep architecture is fragile.
Your cortisol baseline is higher.
Your hormonal margin for error has gone.

What you used to call “two glasses” now behaves like four.
What you used to shake off in a morning now lingers for days.

And alcohol doesn’t care how sensible your intentions are.

Moderation requires a stable system.
Midlife is not a stable system.

That’s the trap.

People think moderation is a mindset problem.
It isn’t.

It’s a signal-to-noise problem.

Alcohol spikes cortisol.
It fragments REM sleep.
It disrupts hormone clearance.
It blunts testosterone.
It worsens oestrogen dominance.
It inflames an already stressed nervous system.

Even at “low” levels.

The World Health Organization stopped dancing around this years ago.
No amount of alcohol is safe for health.

That’s population data, not moral judgement.

Here’s what I see over and over.

People “moderating” brilliantly on paper.
Drinking less often.
Lower quantities.
Special occasions only.

And still feeling:

– Wired but tired
– Anxious for no clear reason
– Flat in the mornings
– Short-tempered
– Foggy
– Sleep deprived despite doing “everything right”

They conclude the same thing every time.

“This must just be ageing.”

It isn’t.

It’s interference.

Moderation sounds reasonable because it promises relief without loss.
No identity shift.
No awkward conversations.
No grief for the old rituals.

But moderation after fifty often keeps the nervous system permanently half-regulated.

Not enough alcohol to feel relaxed.
Enough alcohol to stay unstable.

That limbo is brutal.

I lived this.

Years of convincing myself I was being sensible.
Drinking less.
Spacing it out.
Rules.
Conditions.

And still waking up dysregulated, anxious, inflamed, fogged.

When alcohol went completely, something unexpected happened.

The system settled.

Sleep deepened.
Mood stabilised.
Hormones responded properly.
Anxiety stopped ambushing me.
Energy became predictable.

Not euphoric.
Functional.

That’s the difference people miss.

Moderation asks your system to constantly negotiate with a substance that undermines regulation.

Removal lets biology do its job.

So is moderation possible after fifty?

Technically.
Biologically.
Statistically.

For a small minority with unusually robust systems.

For the rest?

Moderation becomes a long, quiet argument with your own nervous system.

And it usually wins.

Midlife isn’t the time to ask
“Can I still get away with this?”

It’s the time to ask
“What do I want working properly again?”

Because peace isn’t found by drinking less often.

It’s found by removing what’s keeping the system unstable.

That’s not a moral stance.

That’s physiology.

therockingbird · 04/02/2026 22:37

Day 36 done! ☑️ I’ve saved £364 pounds..! 23.3k calories saved..! 336 units saved..! Wow 🤩 I’m actually very proud of myself right now.

So, how we doing team? I got a friend ‘trying’ to moderate. 2 days no wine - she’s back in it and calling me up drunk talking sh*t 😆 I’m Ok with it - it’s clearly not her time and that’s fine. But I’m finding the drunken conversations quite interesting! I can’t help wondering how many nights I’ve called people half cut slurring down the phone 🙈 Good lordy me.

OP posts:
ThisIsMyBurnerPhone · 05/02/2026 06:03

Well done @therockingbird It looks amazing written out like that. Be very proud.

Heading into Day 36 here. I’ve got an evening event with a drinks reception and a formal sit down dinner, where they will come round with ‘red or white’ every twenty minutes. I’m there with colleagues who will think it’s strange I’m not drinking. So I need a plan. I’m trying to visualise the pre dinner drinks as it’s a regular event. I can remember they come round with a tray but can’t recall any AF options. I’d really like to take my tonic water in a handbag! Last time someone brought a plus one who got sloshed, was really loud and inappropriate and told me off for passing the port the wrong way (I wasn’t). It’s a really important event in lots of ways and I’m excited to see people, just dreading the wine avoidance.

CantThinkOfAnotherUsernane · 05/02/2026 06:12

Can I join you all?
I’m currently on day 5. I’ve been here many times before but I’ve decided this time I have to do it.
I was a bottle of wine a night drinker, I was bloated, tired and sluggish all the time.
In the last 5 days my sleep has already improved and I’m really loving waking up with a clear head.
I need a proper reset and would love to get to 100 days, or even better be AF forever but I’m taking it day by day.
I’m not missing the wine at the moment but I know from doing Dry Jan last year that the brain can play tricks on me so I’m hoping by posting here regularly will keep me off the wine.

SwiftyFifty · 05/02/2026 06:22

I know you shouldn’t have to but pretend you’re on antibiotics? I’ve already told my friend I’m not drinking at the funeral to tomorrow. Sit down dinner with free wine would tempt me though. I would try to be smug and focus on someone being loud and annoying and be glad you’re not them!

SwiftyFifty · 05/02/2026 06:24

@therockingbird my results are similar if a bit higher. I haven’t lost the weight with over 4k saved calories though! But the units saved is shocking isn’t it. That’s really keeping me going!

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