Thanks all. I will start from there, although, it has to be said, I didn’t suspect a hangover, and I’m well aware of the signs. I’ve been on this thread a long time, because I inherited a relatives child when Children’s Services finally became aware of the severity of their alcoholism. I’ve done the helping , the optimism, the relapses, the enabling and the walking away, and I’ve watched a child struggle to heal. I know the children come first.
I’m not good at lying so if he asks if I’ve been talking to his wife, it would be impossible to not say yes. What is interesting is that he already seems to have the full tool kit for evading accountability. I challenged his behaviour to the children(arsey and impatient), and he said it was how I raised him, he blamed my dog, me, the children, his wife, his situation, current child rearing practices, and when I stuck doggedly to the fact that his behaviour was inappropriate, he stormed off to bed. He was absolutely fine the next day though. I hate this. Moving far far away would be cowardly wouldn’t it?