Support thread for anyone trying to lead an Alcohol free life - Winter 25

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.

There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.

Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.

The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.

Living alcohol-free isn’t always easy in today’s world, but it is absolutely worth it. And you don’t have to do it alone – we’re here to help each other realise just how good AF life can be.

Morning all!

I'd love to have Stacey round for a declutter - it'd be a double episode. 😂

I went to my work Christmas party last night. A few things I learned:

● I can have a great time without alcohol
● The price of AF drinks is daylight robbery (£5 for an AF koppaberg)
● Some of my colleagues are going to wake up seriously regretting their actions especially the one who flashed her boobs at everyone several times
● Waking up the next morning feeling a bit tired from the night before is ok & definitely beats not being able to drag your head off the pillow because of a raging hangover

Good luck with the big shop @WendyWagon I opted for click & collect.

@FiloPasty do you consider the 0.5 wine to be AF? Genuine question as I know M&S do 0% & 0.5% on the cocktails & it made me wonder if both would be considered "AF" in terms of being sober.

Have a great day everyone.

Morning!
Well done on staying sober for your Christmas party @NotTonightDeidre.
The jacket sounds lovely @WendyWagon. With stones do you mean a gem stone? I have a lovely jewellers near me that's made me a ring from some jewellery left from various relatives that I wasn't wearing. I absolutely love what they made and it was so fun working together on the design. Just have a couple of opals left that I'm not sure what to do with.

My fridge absolutely reeks of Christmas cheese. Big shop delivery coming on 23rd but opted to get the veg and turkey locally so it just appears to be about £150 of what looks to be biscuits and some AF drinks. I really need to edit the basket.

@WendyWagon v stylish love a bit of cashmere. I have a jumper I love but I’m very fearful of the many moths in my old house having a field day with it. That’s why I leave all the spiders around much to the teenagers annoyance.
@NotTonightDeidre that party sounds hilarious glad you had a fun sober time. I figure it’s fine as you can’t get drunk on it, it’s what they’d advertise as alcohol free in other countries.

I need to do a big pre Christmas clean.

@Lavrander yes it a sapphire. 15ct, no one will think its real so I'll feel safe wearing it. I love rings

@NotTonightDeidre i dont count 0.5% as alcohol.i had a marks cider and it was excellent. I shall be buying the cocktails.

Mining shipmates! Seems a veritable hive of pre Christmas organising on here today.
The jacket sounds gorgeous @WendyWagon snd I’ve just done the fridge cleaning. It’s currently bursting at the seams with cheese and party food!
Got myself to the gym again this morning and have no plans today. I’ve developed a secret passion for jigsaws in the last year and have just had one delivered which I’m ridiculously enthusiastic about doing so will start on that today! Have a dog walk planned for later and otherwise a very laid back day ahead. Hope everyone has a great day!

Ah I see what you mean. Good that you don't want to drink tho long may it continue 👏

@WendyWagon i would love to see that ring - gorgeous

Hi all!
Just checking in. Had a lovely muddy dog walk this am, so nice to start the day feeling fresh - well as fresh as kids and a cold allows 🤣
That jacket sounds fabulous @WendyWagon 🎊

I can completely relate to drinking to quieten anxiety and now realise the ironic loop I'd got myself in - feel anxious/ruminate - drink to blot out - chemical brain change - feel more anxious and rinse and repeat 🤦 can't say I love working on feelings without the booze but I guess that's the point. Instead i've been hitting the gym hard and hoping an injury will ease so I can start to run my brain clear, I always find that helps.

Well done those managing sober work parties and outings - what a relief to not be the one feeling foolish the next day huh?! I definitely won't miss that although I am somewhat of a hermit these days 🤣

Well done @Becky3825 , you're doing this!

How you doing @WhatMaggieDid ? Hope you're ok

Have a good and sober day all xxx

I'm just back from a really hard pilates class and a nice sunny walk. Doing some decluttering this avo then fun Christmas party tonight. Went to the same one last year and started pre-drinks in the early avo, absolute ton of booze at the party (including shots) and got back hammered in the early hours. Spent the next day dying. I'm excited to go this year and actually be present rather than being preoccupied about what I will drink next and trying to make sure I didn't go 'over the edge'. And will wake up tomorrow and go to yoga 😅

Hello all.
How are you doing @Becky3825 ? If you did a park run hope you’re refuelling well!

For anyone drinking to deal with anxiety, I get it. Been there, done that. But I’ve come to realise it’s like trying to put out a fire by throwing petrol on it.

Hang in there everyone x

Not sure how old anyone is and I’ve said it before but HRT cured my anxiety. It’s worth tracking periods/moods and seeing if it’s worse at different times of the month. I was terrible the week before my period.

@ThistimeImdone I'm getting there thank you. Better today x

Glad to hear it @WhatMaggieDid ❤️
Thanks @FiloPasty it's looming for me but for now setraline is massively helping as I have OCD type symptoms too, which is fun. Ironically I get contamination OCD but I was very happy to put a poison in my body repeatedly 🤣🤦
Currently drinking a crostino and AF sparkling, very good about thank you whoever recommended that. It really is tasty! I also tried the cook elderflower sparkling AF stuff, pretty good actually.

I've picked up some Brewdog Mellow AF this afternoon. Just cracked open a Lime & Mint one - will report back with a verdict on it later.

The warning (bottom left) really tickled me.

Reading through the thread again has really given me so much, I wish I had started my journey back in July on here, even just viewing to gain some support and momentum.

I just wanted to thank you all for everything you have posted, and the incredibly kind words from so many. This part of MN is just so very insightful.

It feels great to be sat on my couch on a Saturday evening, playing with the cat, content and at peace with my life.

I can honestly say that my life is so much better, and more fulfilling, than it has ever been.

To give a bit of context, I’ve known deep down that I have had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol my whole adult life (I’m 37 now). I thought I had hit rock bottom before but obviously not.

I feel so much shame and regret to everything that I have done over the years. I’m so embarrassed at the person I once was. Sinking vodka straight took me to the edge of the abyss.

Hello all. I was here before sporadically. I hit one year last week. Its a bit of pain here and there, for a whole lot of gain. Main gain being knowing all my mornings are locked in fresh! I'd no major issue to address stopping just wanted the slow creep habit gone. And it's so worth the effort. The 100% rule suits me better than moderation. I did drink moderately volume wise but not so much in frequency and stopping entirely cut out the noise. I bought my self a beautiful gold necklace which I put on the day I completed the year. I will continue, still not always easy but worth it

Sorry I just plonked my post here without reading back. I hope I inspire someone to do it, it really is I feel a few short hours a month at a restaurant or maybe with friends on a trip where I'm thinking they're all drinking, one would do nicely now but it is never just one and once I break the seal I'll be back debating when and where for the next glass. And carrying a blurry headache on a Saturday when out and about with my kids.. etc... that's all gone and that pull is weakening with each month.

Last post is I am also much more level mood wise. Age 47. Feel like I can rely on myself more too, to stay level/handle stress of which I've had a lot this year. I added HRT to the mix 8 weeks ago also and I do a lot of exercise/weight lifting which is so good for the head.

Morning everyone.
@Adsy1988I had that same feeling of contentment last night whilst I was sitting watching Strictly with a mug of Merry Berry AF mulled wine. Just felt super festive, clear headed and happy. Not always like that but those moments make going AF the best decision.

I still love that I can make plans on a weekend morning. Years and years of it being ingrained that I won't be in the mood for something - I've arranged to do parkrun on Christmas Day with my other sober friend this year! I still have to remind myself that I won't be feeling groggy and hungover!

My only wish is that my husband would get with it. We had a get together with friends yesterday that was rather boozy for everyone. After we got home he sank a bottle whilst watching sport and then went to bed. I can't be too annoyed because it's basically what I was doing six months ago, but you know when you're in the field of bunnies and you're going HEY OVER HERE?!! He needs to come at it in his own time and me nagging won't help.

Totally separate subject but does anyone like the Rest is History Podcast? I've been listening to the latest series on Jack the Ripper. The thing in common about all the victims is how alcoholism took everything away from them even before the end. Really sad but also a fascinating series about the working class in Victorian England.. if you like that sort of thing.

Morning all.
Up early for the big shop.

The dh got back up supplies yesterday incase I wasnt well enough. Top man.

Morning shipmates! I’m out early this morning meeting a friend. Definitely something I would have bailed on a few weeks ago as i would have been “tired” ie: hungover!
i love a good podcast @Lavrander so will give that a listen. I did read the book about the women murdered by Jack the Ripper which was really good but absolutely covered the heavy alcohol use leading many into desperate circumstances.

Morning everyone. I’m starting to feel a bit more positive finally and it’s lovely to hear from you @Cartooner- every time someone shares their story I find myself nodding along to so much of it.
I’ve always lived with anxiety and depression, even as a young child the anxiety was there. I’ve realised that I’ll need to be on Citalopram forever but that’s no bad thing - I was getting so depressed and felt like everyone hated me (no evidence at all, just a deep belief that everyone just tolerated me and rolled their eyes about me behind my back). I’m already feeling a bit better and not drinking is definitely part of that. Menopause has absolutely made the anxious thoughts worse. I’m on HRT which has helped, but I definitely need the extra help from SSRI’s.

Hope you all have lovely days - I’m off for a walk with both DS’s and one of their GF’s, then we’re going to do some baking later.
IWNDT 😊

Morning all, @WhatMaggieDid your post resonates, I have had periods of depression, and constant anxiety - I've been on and off citalopram over the years, almost always starting as the winter arrives. I'm back on now, determined to stay off alcohol as that is so counterproductive. I'm know as a child I was always anxious and felt like the odd one out, but back in the sixties no one talked about their feelings.
Wishing everyone a good - and sober - day!

Thanks @Cartooner it’s so helpful to hear longer term updates and that while not all is plain sailing it’s still very much worth it!
I am early days -28 to be exact but feel like my brain is switching back on. I just feel more able to cope with my life-which is ridiculous because I used a lot of alcohol to help me cope with it. And even though I knew it didn’t help I did it anyway. But I’ll be at a month in a couple of days which I haven’t managed for a good while.

Morning.
How was the weekend for everyone?
IWNDWYT