Support thread for anyone trying to lead an Alcohol free life - Winter 25

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.

There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.

Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.

The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.

Living alcohol-free isn’t always easy in today’s world, but it is absolutely worth it. And you don’t have to do it alone – we’re here to help each other realise just how good AF life can be.

Thanks for sharing that @Adsy1988. It’s incredible how far you’ve come and that you did it all on your own. My issues pale in comparison really, you are amazing 🤩

Morning all.

The toast on Christmas Day sounds lovely @ShyMaryEllen - I’m in!

Great to hear from you @Adsy1988 and congratulations on your 150 days. It sounds to have been a challenging journey- amazing work.

Glad you made it @Becky3825. A useful reminder that when we get cravings it’s helpful to ask ourselves what we really need - are we hungry? Thirsty? Bored? I think there’s a HALT acronym but can’t remember what the A and L stand for! I’ll have to google it.

Glad you had a nice lunch @WendyWagon - you’ve had quite the year x

Aha - HALT is Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. I’d got the T wrong. It’s just a handy, quick way of checking into yourself and working out what you really need when a craving strikes

@FiloPasty your post on your TryDry savings made me check mine. £18,700 apparently 🤣🤣🤣 I’d like to know where it is ……

Morning all.

I have a whole day to myself. I used to book out the day after my birthday for hiding under the bed covers.
I might actually get some wrapping done.

The DS has had his survey and full offer on his house so he should be in for January.
I've come full circle and want the small cottage that we originally saw. It means getting rid of about about a third of our possessions. I think I'm ready to do that now. Lots belonged to my mum and dad and I couldn't let them go. Most are in our garage.
Lets hope we can persuade the owner to sell.

Big shop for me Sunday as im not allowed to drive yet. I need the DH.

@Onewildandpreciouslife i know where my savings went! 😅

Thank you for support everyone. Second night of holiday was better. I just ordered zero zero Heineken and sprite and made an AF shandy. It felt slightly easier but it’s amazing how hard it is being surrounded by people drinking everywhere and adopting different holiday traditions.

Checking in. IWNDWYT friends 😊💪

@Becky3825 good morning.
Have you ever read Rachel's Holiday by Marion Keynes?

Its very funny. It might fill some of the weekend. Just a thought. If were you id also buy the biggest box of chocolates and not share.

Hello shipmates - sorry for not posting much lately; work has been bonkers and it's knackering. I'm getting old, hehe.

Sending you all love, strength and courage as we head into the weekend. We've got this.

Belated happy birthday @WendyWagon from me and Sid! Another year of being fabulous you.

With love. x

Hey shipmates! Hope everyone is doing well on this last Friday before Xmas. Traditionally a big boozey one for me! My fb memories popped up with last years Christmas margarita I remember drinking after work and although I know it would taste bloody good I am going to head off to the gym as soon as I log off then come back and enjoy a Mother Root.

I really opened up to my DH last night about how much alcohol really was impacting me and how much space it was taking up in my brain. It's funny really, we are v close and he is proud of me for stopping drinking as he obviously saw the states I would get in, but for various reasons (mostly shame / embarrassment) I haven't shared that much about what was going on psychologically and how, through my research, I have absolutely realised I can never drink again. It was a good conversation to have as there is always a chance that I will start getting tempted in a few years and try to convince myself that this time I csn control it. I need the people around me to know what an awful decision that would be...

Omg that’s a crazy figure x Mine is being balanced by buying the £12 bottles of 0.5 wine from M&S :) but it’s not proper plonk.

I also say totally embrace the food cravings, honestly once the booze cravings wore off, the food cravings did too and I’m eating so much less. It was a cycle of eating crap carbs to try and soak up the booze.

@REP22 Sid looking particularly festive there. Don’t think I’ll be getting any stickers over the festive period but it’s v slowly coming off.

@WendyWagon the cottage sounds lovely. Do you ever watch sort your life out? It’s a good one to inspire the grand declutter. I’m a huge fan of vinted too, got rid of so much on there.

@HorrorFan81 v brave to have such a candid conversation. I feel the same. I’m slightly concerned of how much I lean on the 0% options but might see if I can do Dry Jan without them.

Happy birthday @WendyWagon !! Here’s to a healthy era ahead.

I’ll catch up with the thread this weekend.

I love the idea of a thought to each other at 6 pm on Xmas day 🫂

Each to their own. I think if its worrying you then you may as well see how it is without. I love the AF alternatives though. Even after 2 years dry im not sure j could do it without. I hate feeling weird like im the odd one out at social events or like there is no 'adult treat' at the end of the day. I know theyre not for everyone though

Can I ask what is it you are worried about?

I would have Stacey around but i have a stalker so can't be done.

Im determined to stop the house hunting and i know where my heart lies.

Afternoon shipmates. I had the day off work today so got some Christmas shopping done. It’s been a muted affair thus far not because of alcohol but because my work takes so much from me. I’ve got some really difficult work stuff coming up in the new year. My DH said to me every time something big happens at work I disappear into myself a bit more. I’m quite a closed book generally but it really made me think just how much I’ve hidden in terms of work, drinking and general life. Although clearly not enough so he hadn’t noticed the change!
Im lucky I earn quite a lot of money but have never been so unfulfilled in many ways. So think next year I have some decisions to make. Two years ago I told a friend I thought my job would finish me off if I spent another year there! I’m very strict with my wellbeing currently which helps! And I do feel like my brain is switching back on and my ability to handle stress is definitely improving! Day 26 today.

@HorrorFan81 worried is probably the wrong word but I feel like I can’t relax or wind down without my fake wine or beer. It’s great I’m not drinking it’s a mental crutch rather than a physical one.
I don’t want to drink currently long may it continue.

The only problem I can see with AF alternatives is that most of them are pretty much 100% sugar, which is bad for the liver. I'm confident with not drinking alcohol now, but am also trying to reverse the damage, and drinking a bottle of sugary AF wine a night won't begin to do that.

I'm enjoying kombucha and Mother Root (not together!), and plan to stick to that other than for an occasional treat (eg Christmas Day) when I'll have AF wine or fizz. That should help to set up healthier habits as well as a more balanced sugar intake, too.

In bed, back from watching the third film in the 'Knives out' series. Thankful to be sober and already thinking about how grateful I will feel tomorrow morning. Sending support and love to all on board this sobriety vessel 💜

Met pals this evening at the pub. Already knew I wouldn’t drink as have gym tomorrow and a busy day. Didn’t stay too long but it was definitely an eye opener. People are LOUD! And repetitive. Home now tucked up in bed. Phew!

@Becky3825we just watched the first one!
Going to bed this evening sober. Made the decision today to go back on anxiety meds that I stopped a couple of months ago. It’s been a relief to admit I’m starting to spiral again and take control. An added bonus is that I shouldn’t drink whilst on them - certainly not in the early days/weeks - as alcohol decreases effectiveness. So that’s an additional motivation and hopefully will minimise any urges.

Morning all - I really like the HALT acronym, @Onewildandpreciouslife. For me I'd replace the Angry with Anxious - it's overthinking and worrying about things that have happened or might happen that triggers me in an attempt to blot out the thoughts. Have a safe and sober day, all.

@Crazeechick yes, me too.

Morning all.

Im doing the big shop tomorrow so i will clean fridges. I can manage that as no bending down.

I was pleased to wear a jacket never worn on Thursday. Camel cashmere from Basler. It fitted a treat.
I had some nice presents including the Marry Berry book. I also have a loose stone that I now need to set.

Weird fact I have 18 to my party on the 27th, only one drinks! I bought cans of mock tails last year and the mob drank them. Best get them in.

Have a sober safe day all.