Support thread for anyone trying to lead an Alcohol free life - Winter 25

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.

There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.

Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.

The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.

Living alcohol-free isn’t always easy in today’s world, but it is absolutely worth it. And you don’t have to do it alone – we’re here to help each other realise just how good AF life can be.

Evening shipmates
@Becky3825 sorry to hear the job didn’t pan out this time. But so happy you’re here and have no doubt other opportunities will arise for you! If you’re half as lovely in reality as you are on here I’d hire you in a heartbeat!
@WendyWagon glad you went for the hot chocolate but crikey definitely need to avoid any risk of porridge. What nefarious shenanigans you’ve had to deal with of late!
Today was better thankfully so no wobbles. Took the dog for an extra walk after work-he was giddy with joy!
sorry to hear you’re feeling so under par @ShyMaryEllen i hope decent sleep returns for you soon and better general wellbeing. I’m so diabolically awful if I don’t sleep that my nearest and dearest notice within a day or two. I had a period last year when I think I was almost entirely unhinged with lack of sleep. I was ordered to bed like a toddler 5 nights in a row and that sorted it. I was very stressed so just got a bit overwrought. Suspect the gallons of booze didn’t help either.
I spent a lovely hour this evening planning Xmas Eve with my daughter. I’m working till 5 so have a lovely dog walk planned followed by hot chocolate and a good Xmas movie. @REP22 i can confirm it will NOT be the polar express! I felt a bit teary about her asking me what we would do together. She knows I’ve stopped drinking and think this is her way of showing support. She hasn’t said anything about it but I think she’s happy. I certainly am! Day 23 done.

Just popping on to say I've discovered a lovely new AF drink this evening - Heartsease Raspberry Lemonade. It's lovely. DH fancied cheese and biscuits for supper when he got in from work and I was happy to join him (feeling a bit sorry for myself having been on my own all day again). but it was a bit of a trigger as I'd would usually accompany C&B's with a glass (or 3) of red. Anyway. I had a big glass of the Heartsease with some ice and it was bloody lovely - I actually think I prefer it to the wine!!
Night all, hope you all sleep well🤗

Evening all. I'm typing whilst watching the marks programme on Christmas.
Im really proud of myself doing the podcast. It felt like the old days.

@Becky3825 im sorry you didn't get the job this time. You will nect time they have a vacancy.

I decorated my Christmas tree today, and plan to sort out the table in the hallway tomorrow, so I can put a nativity set on there. That, plus a couple of other nativities and a Woolworth's santa that we've had since the children were little, are what passes for a decorated house. The santa is battery operated and plays Jingle Bells whilst moving a giant candle in a suggestive manner🥳. He's anything but tasteful (and the dog hates him, so he has to stand on the mantelpiece), but he's somehow the spirit of Christmas in his velour outfit with fake fur trim. Tacky, but also friendly and full of family tradition.

Oh, and Fix 8 Kombucha in Strawberry and Basil flavour is very nice in a gin glass with a frozen wedge of lime. It comes in those small cans that contain one drink - 250ml?

Morning all. Having climbed back on the sober train I'm finding nights very strange, lots of dreams where fiction and reality mix. It's definitely much better than the throbbing head of a wine fuelled evening though. @Becky3825 I hope you managed some rest after the stress of yesterday. Have a good day all,band thankyou for being here - it's such a support!

I'm sorry you're feeling lousy @ShyMaryEllen , hope things improve for you health wise. The festive preparations sound lovely - our dog has ornaments she hates too 🤣

Crikey @WendyWagon ! Well done on swerving the brandy, hot chocolate definitely is nicer! I'm off to Google what doing porridge is 🤣 the podcast sounds really cool.

@Becky3825 that sounds so positive and you obviously did really well, you should feel really proud of yourself. Echoing what others said, you are clearly absolutely lovely so anywhere would be lucky to have you. I'm sure the right job is just around the corner! Well done on choosing not to drink after the news - an amazing step to freedom from b#stard booze.

I've just had news that my brother's cancer is progressing faster than expected, awful to think he won't be here much longer. Previously I would have definitely dealt - or not dealt - with this by getting hammered. I chose not to last night but I'm aware that as it gets harder I may need a plan. I was meant to be seeing him this weekend but caught a cold off the kids I work with, so as he has no immune system can't which sucks as he won't be here much longer. But can't be helped.

Anyway, last day of work until Jan 🎊 will celebrate with a hot chocolate later - I do like that now that the nozzle calories are gone a hot chocolate is something I can indulge in .

Hope everyone has a good and booze free day - we've got this ❤️

@ThistimeImdone I am the same with chocolate calories! Even diving into the Celebrations every day I'm taking in way less than I would have been drinking previously

I hit 10 months this week! If you had told me last Christmas I would be 10 months sober by now and not only ok with it but actually HAPPIER I would never have believed you. Mulled wine and Christmas gin was such an essential part of Christmas- only it turns out they aren't. I am healthier and happier, I'm not spending my days hungover or drunk, I am present for the kids. I can honestly say I have come through the other side and can never imagine drinking again

Amazing
so pleased for you

just never become complacent,
I did 7 years sober, and I am back right at the beginning again, I really thought that I would never drink again either, but I got complacent. I am a stupid woman sometimes. I would have had 14 years under my belt. Don’t get me wrong, it took a long time to become a problem again, but it did eventually become a problem.

Morning all.

Well i had a chat with my cousin yesterday (ive mentioned her before on this thread) and she admitted to being a functioning alcoholic. Now that is grim news but also a start on a journey because she said I don't know how to stop. Shes never asked for my help before and the whole household are big drinkers. Shes no reason to 'plaster the pain'. Much loved only child and all that but i think she's lonely.
She had hoped mounjaro would temper her alcohol cravings but it hasn't for her. I told her about SMART. Hopefully she'll investigate as i know quite a lot of our number use it. I'm off out for nails.

Morning! I've finally woken up today feeling positive and with some energy to be productive. It's taken 3 days to recover from Saturdays wine. Learnt my lesson well.
Its wet and grey here but the dog doesn't care and still needs a good run so I'm off out to do that shortly, then off to our nearest town to get some twine and wool (finishing a needlefelted Christmas present) before coming home to have a bit of a house blitz. Always makes me feel better.
I need some good podcast recommendations - any suggestions? I've been listening to Dig It (Zoe Ball and Jo Whiley) but need some more!

@ThistimeImdone I'm so sorry to hear hear about your brother. Sending love. Thanks also for the complacency warning 🤗

Thank you. Yes I am very aware of Fading Affect Bias and am on keen watch out for any thoughts creeping in starting to convince me that I will be able to moderate this time. I am still listening to podcasts etc to keep reinforcing my sober mindset

Can I ask what made you drink again?

Complacency - comfortablness. I was in a really good place.
tbh - I then drank without a big problem for a very long time, My husband was then diagnosed with a terminal illness - and then I used it in the way I had used it previously. So now it’s time to get it stopped.

I don’t regret drinking again. But it’s not serving me. So it must go.

So sorry about your husband and thanks for responding 😘

@WhatMaggieDid for podcasts 'The Rest Is...' series are all good. I particularly like The Rest is Entertainment but also dip into History, Politics, Money and there is a new Science one i really like

I slept until 10.30 this morning! My watch tells me I fell asleep at 12.45, which feels about right, so I got more than 9 hours sleep😀. I still feel tired, but I really hope this means my (not) sleeping has turned a corner and will go back to normal 🤞.

I've been to an exercise class for the decrepit, and I can feel it already. We all got a ball thing - like a cross between a football and a balloon - and we had to squeeze it between our knees and do various exercises with it in place. It was surprisingly difficult, but effective, and I'm sure I'll be sore in the morning. One of the participants has appointed herself class monitor, and is a massive PIA. You know the type - she sits at the front, moves people's chairs around 'helpfully' and corrects the teacher with a sly smirk if she makes a false move. At the end, we all put our dumbbells back in a storeroom, and she made us form a queue whilst she held the door open with a heavy weight - everyone was perfectly capable of pushing it open on their own. I felt sorely inclined to shove my dumbbell into her throat, which is another promising sign that things are reverting to type.

In other news, I have been booted off the Soberistas 100 day challenge for not posting enough. You post into the void anyway, so there was no incentive, but I think it's a daft rule, as infrequent posters aren't, by definition, using much bandwidth or dominating discussions. It's no real loss, but had I had any regrets about not renewing my subscription that would have removed them.

Well @ShyMaryEllen that's ridiculous! What a silly rule.

I've just tried the bolle de blancs rose, I was actually putting it off as I been disappointed with AF fizz before but this is very nice. I added a little apple cider to cut the sweetness but tbh it didn't really need it. Very nice fizz. I shall get some in for Xmas 🎊 so thought I'd come recommend on here. You can get it on Amazon.

So good I've just ordered a box for Xmas! 🎊

@HorrorFan81 yay that’s amazing! And very inspiring for us newer folks sailing behind on choppy seas at times.
@ShyMaryEllen your class queen bee rage made me chuckle! And I’ve had a long and gloomy day so was much needed!
I shall venture out in the rain with the dog shortly which I hope will lift my mood a bit. I don’t want a drink so that’s a good update in itself.

Hi everyone.
Late posting but wanted to catch up.
I'm sorry about the job @Becky3825. You're so right that alcohol won't make anything better - onwards and upwards but I do get that it's a kicker at the minute.
I'm also so sorry to hear about your brother @ThistimeImdone. Hope your cold goes soon so you can go and see him. Also hope you've treated yourself to something nice to start off the Christmas break. I tried the Noughty rouge AF red last night - husband said it smelt of red wine gravy. Can't say I was ever a connoisseur of red wine so I liked it. Will go well with lots of cheese and crackers.

Interested to know how you feel tomorrow @ShyMaryEllen- that sounds like one of those classes that feel only a little tough at the time but the following day you can't walk up or down stairs!

Congratulations @HorrorFan81. Very inspiring. It's so lovely to read how much happier you are. I'm excited to get to 10 months - feels so long away - but then so did 100 days and then it was suddenly here. I'll be six months at the end of the year and I just feel like a non drinker. Even if friends and family don't fully appreciate it yet.

Sending lots of support to everyone. We'll make it through x

Just dropping by to say "Hi". I'm not great at being a regular poster.

I won a hamper on a raffle at the weekend; amongst the food & scented candles were no less than SIX bottles of alcohol. All have been successfully re-homed.

My favourite AF fizz is the pink stuff (Fizzero, I think) from M&S, the Aldi one is second. I've tried a few, they're hit & miss aren't they?!

Saw some 0% Brew Dog today in Tesco & was very tempted but I don't know if I'm that kinda person. 😅

I'm actually enjoying trying out all the different AF drinks like some regular connoisseur.

Hit a new milestone today too.

I drank again last night. Now awake, heart thumping and full of regret.

Morning all.
Congratulations on your 50 days @NotTonightDeidre 👏👏 - good to hear from you.

Hope you managed to get some sleep @WhatMaggieDid - lots of water this morning, and be kind to yourself. This is a really hard time of the year to try to get sober. Can you work through the thought processes that made you drink?

How are you doing @Becky3825 - do you have plans for the weekend?

Well done @NotTonightDeidre!
I hear that AF beers are some of the best but I was never that kind of person either. I tend to have Lucky Saint when I'm out though as it's one I recognise so I can quickly order before a craving kicks in.

I'm sorry @WhatMaggieDid. Seemed to coincide with you feeling really positive yesterday morning? That's the worst trap in the beginning x

Am going for the 'Christmas Do' mission badge on the TryDry app today. Excited about checking that one off.