Support thread for anyone trying to lead an Alcohol free life - Winter 25

[Lavrander]

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.

There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.

Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.

The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.

Living alcohol-free isn’t always easy in today’s world, but it is absolutely worth it. And you don’t have to do it alone – we’re here to help each other realise just how good AF life can be.

Omg this is exactly me…… I was 6 years sober and now I’m 6 years not!
I need to get back on it. It’s good to see it can be done. Can I join you?

My eldest son arrived unexpectedly with his girlfriend and we went to the pub. I already had to go to meet some friends and had planned to get alcohol free beer, but for some reason I abandoned that once my son arrived. I don't really know why. He often doesn't drink - his girlfriend too has no issue ordering diet coke - although last night they did drink, but honestly there would have been no issue. So I'm not sure. But once they were here it all went out the window. The only positive is it wasn't wine, just lager. But still... 😖
Feel dreadful this morning. Not hungover, just incredibly disappointed and fed up with myself.

Morning all.

Birthday queen👑 (too old at 60 to be a girl!) here.
Thank the Lord i made it because it looked really bad in January. I was amending my will. More treatment in January but no more big ops.

I was out at the nail salon getting sorted. A lady thought i was 44! She said my mum's 62 and she doesn't look like you. It made my day.
Off out for lunch. Just the local restaurant but i like their fish and chips. I'm on the Henrys. Always a goodie but they do mocktails

@WendyWagon Happy Birthday you fabulous creature you! Hope you get some pampering and are treated today 🥳

Still sober my end. Checking in. Majorly on a downer today, must count blessings and stop being such a ungrateful fool.

IWNDWYT

Happy Birthday @WendyWagon - enjoy your day! @Becky3825 hoping something comes along to lift your spirits x. @Whenindoubthugitout your previous record is awesome, you'll get there again! @WhatMaggieDid that's just a tiny blip.
All the best today everyone.

@WhatMaggieDid Don't lose hope lovely, It is so hard and just keep trying. The alternative is drinking every day/other day isnt it? And that would suck. Well it would completly ruin our, and everyone who knows us, lives. You fell off, its not permanent. We are all here for you. I am thinking about drinking from the moment I wake up to the evening pretty much so I totally get it. Love you okay ❤️‍🩹

@WhatMaggieDid And dont beat yourself up at all! You hardly did anything wrong here honestly it happens. You didnt order cocaine at 4am and have sex with two different guys on the same night, lose all your shit and wake up in a house you didnt know.....

You are doing really well. Just another learning curve but please be kind to yourself. It could have been so much worse trust me! I know!

Popping on to say hi and wish birthday wishes to wendywagon.
Five months AF here and on holiday for a first without wine in over 42 years.
First night last night was hard and I got tearful. I’ve got to get a grip and not let it ruin my holiday. I hope it gets easier.

Happy birthday @WendyWagon !! Have a wonderful day 🎉🎉

@friendlycat I promise it will get easier. 5 months is brilliant, but holidays are hard at first. Learning new things IS hard, and we probably don’t do it very much at our age!! It is completely normal to grieve the loss of the “nice” drinks - the holiday wine, the mulled wine at Christmas etc. But we shouldn’t romanticise alcohol, because those drinks don’t stay nice, if we’re honest with ourselves. Be gentle with yourself on this holiday- it’s ok to be weepy. It’s also ok to eat ALL the puddings.

And take the wins - sober holiday mornings are amazing. I once read that you should watch the sun rise at least once on a sober holiday. I’m not sure that’s necessary (!) but that first hour, when you can drink your coffee in peace and see the world waking up, proud that you didn’t drink the night before, and can experience it fully, is magic. Hang in there.

Happy birthday @WendyWagon, I hope you have a very lovely and fabulous day!

Happy Birthday @WendyWagon have the most fabulous day x

@Becky3825 how many days are you at? I totally cracked up at the Coke and 2 guys post sadly never got that one on my bingo card!

I’ve already got house guests so am in a terrible sleep cycle where I stay up later than everyone else as I love it when I’m there only one up but now feel rubbish in the morning, and it’s raining. I need to hit the wrapping today.

Sorry not to tag everyone it’s nice to see more seasoned posted popping in, I am so hopeful I can do this long term.

Congratulations @NotTonightDeidre thats an amazing achievement!
@WhatMaggieDid ive often been caught out in situations where I just decided in the moment rather than my usual work trigger. But it’s a blip and you’re here! Don’t be too hard on yourself -I’ve been round a few times now! Am planning everything in advance which reduces risk for me.
And wishing the happiest of birthdays to @WendyWagon I hope you have a fabulous day!

@A671090
of course you can
grab a pew.

tell us about yourself?

im now 55 days sober now. I will do 7 years again!

Happy birthday, @WendyWagon 🎂🥳 xx

Thinking about drinking ALL the time today! ARHHHHHH!

I dont want to but its like there's something inside me telling me 'YOU HAVE TO'

Drinking tea at home roght now so safe for now. Collecting the kids for 3-15 though so have to leave the fricking house for that 😵‍💫

Posting as hoping it will help. Kind of is already tbh. I do not want to mess everything up

@Becky3825 keep going! Just take it minute by minute, hour by hour. Keep drinking tea and other soft drinks. Find something to distract you. Go to bed at the same time as the kids. Play it forward. If you have a drink - then what? Will you feel better? Is one enough? Think about how you feel tomorrow if you drink tonight. Then how you will feel if you don't drink
Every time you make it through one of these days your brain rewires to confirm you CAN do this and it makes it easier next time
You've got this 💪

Can you try and think forwards to how awful you'll feel at 4am if you drink? Really try and remember that horrible sweaty panic feeling. You dont want that. Alcohol is a trick. Its a con.
You can do it x

I can do this. I WILL DO THIS. Thank you so much @HorrorFan81 and @Sexentric for your wise words and support. I do not want to do it but my bloody brain is turning against me today. Will just keep taking it hour by hour. Will focus on collecting the girls then getting home.

Then will post again

@Becky3825Just don’t do it. I feel lousy today. So depressed and anxious. I’m doubting myself constantly, wracked with anxiety about what people really think of me, feeling like the most annoying, irritating person. I’m imagining all sorts of scenarios where everyone is talking about me or has negative opinions about me and I’m just feeling absolutely crap.
Stay firm @Becky3825it doesn’t make anything any easier. Far from it.

@WhatMaggieDid Thank you 🥲. I am going to ride this out today, but I genuinely feel of I hadn't posted I'd have caved. I really do not want to feel all those things on top of how cruddy I already feel. I think food may be the answer, I have been so strict this week and think I just need to relax the reins and EAT EAT EAT tonight. All of the carbs, all of the cheese. And all of the 🍫 .

@WhatMaggieDid NO ONE thinks you're the most annoying, irritating person. I can guarantee that. Its just the poison messing with your brain. But you're right thats absolutely something @Becky3825 doesnt want in need in her life.
Br kind to yourself. You had a few beers. Nobody died. Take stock and get back on the wagon x

I wish I’d posted last night when I felt it coming on. I’m starting to realise how important that is instead of going awol and deleting MN from my phone!
Your tomorrow self will be so grateful. Can you find a distraction? Big walk? Gym? Hot chocolate and a good film?