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Alcohol support

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Support thread for anyone trying to lead an Alcohol free life - Winter 25

985 replies

Lavrander · 20/11/2025 06:58

Hello and welcome!
This thread is for anyone who is trying to live an alcohol-free life. It was first set up by @drybird and has grown into a safe, supportive space to share thoughts, ask advice, swap experiences, or simply check in as we give up and keep off the booze.

There’s no judgment here – just encouragement. Whether you post every day, once in a while, or just read along quietly, you’re part of the group. Many of us have found this thread invaluable, whether brand new to abstaining or years into AF life.

Wherever you are on the journey, someone here will have been there too. Don’t be shy about posting – we love celebrating successes of all shapes and sizes, and we’ll support you through the tougher times as well.

The only thing we ask is that your aim is complete abstinence. If your goal is moderation or a break, there are a couple of really good threads on this board that will be a better fit. That doesn't mean that slips don't happen, and we'll support you in picking yourself back up and carrying on.

Living alcohol-free isn’t always easy in today’s world, but it is absolutely worth it. And you don’t have to do it alone – we’re here to help each other realise just how good AF life can be.

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Womanshour · 03/12/2025 09:08

@postcard its nuts isn't it! It does actually help me though. The playing it forward means thinking- have I got £400 spare a month? No... I haven't! Better not have a glass then x

WendyWagon · 03/12/2025 09:19

Morning all.
Recovery progressing well.

The dog woke us up again at 2am. Blinking nutter.

I missed two Christmases and two birthday dos so I'm really looking forward to this year. I checked the numbers for our annual curry party and only one person drinks! How times change.

I use to worry if I had enough grog in but tbh I now offer what I've got and keep away from the booze isle. I heard the statistic that 60% of adults are sober or cutting down on alcohol. Tis going out of fashion.

I used my booze money for therapy and laser treatment on my red veins in the early days. I think I had three sessions on my face and therapy for about ten months. The therapy was the winner although I did go NC with my sister and let two friendships slide. Both women were heavy drinkers and happy for me to pick up the bill. I'm still pissed off about that.

The BFF is coming round for a pow wow. Big business to discuss.
Have a happy sober day all.

Lavrander · 03/12/2025 09:25

I'm looking forward to:
Feeling fresh on Christmas morning - I'm going to have clean bed sheets and ironed pyjamas for Christmas Eve and I shall go to bed at a reasonable hour.
Cooking a really good meal and taking care over it
Going for a long walk with the dog and feeling spritely whilst doing it
Waking up on Boxing Day without having to clean up the entire house as I'll be bothered to sort of tidy as I go whilst also enjoying the company.
Being more present - remembering it all.
I am also looking forward to not having the FEAR on Christmas morning / Boxing Day as I'm less likely to do or say things that I'm embarrassed about the following day.

Those that haven't found a good AF fizz I implore you to try the Thomson & Scott - it's not bang on but it's not really sweet like other options and has a nice dry aftertaste.

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Onewildandpreciouslife · 03/12/2025 10:15

I think you should definitely do the ultra @Lavrander ! If you can get sober, you can do anything you put your mind to. Plus you have so much more morning these days, it’s a great use of your time, AND you can use “I have a long run in the morning” as a brilliant excuse to leave parties, dinner parties etc early. (I gradually built up to marathons when I got sober, and did 3 in my mid 50s. Very glum not to be able to run at the moment post op, but my walking is improving so that’s a start!) Never tried an ultra, but I hear great things about the cake offering

REP22 · 03/12/2025 10:18

Good morning shipmates,

I will be spending Christmas with DB and family. Lovely. To be able to drive myself there in my lovely little Sidmobile is a treat that never loses its sheen. Also nearly completed my Christmas gift buying. Getting people nice presents that they will enjoy, as opposed to drunken late-night purchases that seem a good idea at 12.20am, is also a plus.

Strength and courage. We can do it. xx

ShyMaryEllen · 03/12/2025 11:00

I’m at home for Christmas. My daughter is coming for a couple of days over actual Christmas, then going back to her new house, and Son and DIL arrive on 27th for a couple of days, so it’s lower level but spread out a bit. It will make catering easier as Husband and Daughter are veggie and Son and DIL are not.

Thanks again for the kind comments. There is no point in speaking to medics though - there is nothing they can do unless things take a radical turn for the worse. It is honestly just a case of waiting and hoping for the best (and helping things along by not drinking and trying to live as healthily as possible). I check for yellowing and so on (a bit obsessively) but otherwise I am just tired and achey. I don’t want to nag, but don’t do this to yourselves, shipmates. It’s much easier to get into than out of. Ho ho ho.

I will cheer up soon, I’m sure😀

REP22 · 03/12/2025 13:59

I get tired and achy too @ShyMaryEllen - and sometimes look for yellowness. Not drinking really is the only way. Hoping and waiting right alongside you. ❤️x

Lavrander · 03/12/2025 15:55

Thanks @Onewildandpreciouslife. Feels like an exciting goal. I've never done more than a half but I have done lots of long old hikes so it's just meeting in the middle I think. I hear people stop for sandwiches and walk/ run it so seems more appealing than something like London marathon. I have so much time back why not.
@postcardthe one I've looked at is 27 miles - anything over usual marathon distance is an ultra so I'll take it. I like the idea of training over the summer and getting out in the countryside. I imagine it will be about 7 hours on my feet.
Shipmates - I'm doing it!

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Carpetburn · 03/12/2025 19:13

@Lavrander do the ultra! There are super competitive races but also lots where competing is the main achievement. I don’t do marathons or run anymore but used to and did a lot of them. And I can confirm it’s literally a long walk with a picnic 😂 Run a bit walk a bit and enjoy the scenery! Give yourself a good few months to build your legs up to the distance and if you can rope in a pal it’s much more fun. But I always used to make friends on the way round.
@FiloPasty definitely relate to perimenopause I started HRT last year and went from not sleeping, being riddled with fury or anxiety to functioning reasonably well. Being off the booze on top has really ramped up my feelings of wellbeing and stability mood wise. And my GP was great just said let’s give HRT a go. But didn’t ask about alcohol -I would have lied then anyway!
Day 10 today so back in double figures!
Have a great evening all.

Carpetburn · 04/12/2025 06:02

Morning The wild dreaming has recommenced. The synapses must be firing up again. I am tired though. Woke up pretty early and panicked I’d had a drink. Which I had not! Cup of tea for me before walking the dog and off to work.
Aniother day where the sails have been set and I’m heading where I want to shipmates!

WendyWagon · 04/12/2025 09:37

Ahoy.

Big bust up at the skincare company. It's like an Ealing farce!
I didn't get trollied and I'm proud of that.

Lavrander · 04/12/2025 11:14

Morning
I'd love to be fly on the wall in the boardroom of some of these places.

Great news @Carpetburn. Thank you for the encouragement also. I've roped in a friend.

Have a health screen today. Fingers crossed.

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REP22 · 04/12/2025 12:44

Good morning shipmates,

Sorry about the bust-up @WendyWagon - for a skincare business they sound very toxic! There's a Netflix mini-series in there somewhere, hehe

Hope all goes well at the health screen @Lavrander.

Sid is in his element today. Plumbers at M's for him to "supervise" and "help". He does love a tradesman. Scaffolders yesterday as well, next door. Christmas comes early to Sidtown. He'd be the seventh member of the Village People if he could... 😉

Strength and courage. It will be alright. x

WendyWagon · 04/12/2025 13:01

Rep you are funny. My fellow shareholder has just renamed two of the SLT Bonny and Clyde. My mouth has been like a fish this morning as the beans were spillt.
It does effect me from a pension perspective but it's highly amusing.

At one point my late DM was a rozzer and she said I had a 'coppers nose'. I always rumble the baddies, especially the crooks. I bet they are on the flyme website looking for tickets to Dubai!

Such nonsense I could be driven to drink but I'm not and I'm so grateful for that and all your support my friends.

ShyMaryEllen · 04/12/2025 13:06

I can just see Sid in a feathered headdress😂

I've been to the podiatrist. It's insanely expensive, but you do walk out feeling that the pavements are made of air.

Does this mean you'll be working with them or not, @WendyWagon? I agree that not drinking is for the best at times like this, though. Well, it's for the best at any time, but where there is even the slightest chance of shenanigans it pays to be sone cold sober throughout.

REP22 · 04/12/2025 13:20

@WendyWagon I find it helpful to view stressful situations with a bit of an air of detachment/documentary-style. Possibly with an Attenborough commentary in the mind "The toxic alpha male attempts to assert his dominance over the pack... but the females are not having any of it and he is swiftly bitten and subdued, withdrawing to lick his wounds in solitude at the edge of the watering-hole..."

Glad the podiatrist went well @ShyMaryEllen - I'm having my hair cut and coloured tomorrow. Bit of an extravagance but it does make you feel so much better. Bit of Village People trivia - the original cowboy member was called Randy. Make of that what you will. Hey, I don't waste my evenings. 😉

WendyWagon · 04/12/2025 13:32

I took delight in severing my connection with the skincare company on LinkedIn. They owe me dosh but I have the small shareholders on my side.

The 'big project' is going ahead in January and I shall be the boss. I was hanging up my boots as you know but this is too good to miss. My mother might have been so proud!

ShyMaryEllen · 04/12/2025 13:42

Great stuff, @WendyWagon! What a start to 2026.

Carpetburn · 04/12/2025 20:49

I went to the gym after work. And have managed not to eat any biscuits this week! Think my blood sugar is calming down a bit after a couple of sugary weeks! Friday tomorrow and I’m out for a Christmas meal but it’s a decent mix of non drinkers and will be a tame affair. But if I get any wobbles I’m going to fake illness! I think it should be pleasant enough though and a nice way to end the week. I have a work do next week but I’m driving and I never drink at work dos so that won’t seem odd.

Whenindoubthugitout · 04/12/2025 21:05

Excellent @WendyWagon
bet you feel good for doing it,

I’ve come all the way into town to give blood and they won’t take it coz I was at the dentist this morning!!!!

I am apparently still allowed a biscuit.

oh well - I tried to be a good citizen!

day 41 done and dusted

ridingfreely · 04/12/2025 21:33

joining please for support on this journey

ShyMaryEllen · 04/12/2025 22:32

Welcome, @ridingfreely.

You've picked a good, if challenging time to join in. Christmas (assuming you celebrate it) can be tricky, but when you've done it sober you'll be amazed at how easy it actually was.

For the past couple of years we have raised an AF toast to one another on Christmas Day. Are we doing that again, shipmates? For newbies, the idea is that at a given time (or whenever, depending on your timetable) we individually (and surreptitiously if preferred) raise a glass to the shipmates and offer a virtual biscuit to Sid. It cheers us all on, and gives us something to aim for, and reminds us that however choppy the waters we are not alone.

Onewildandpreciouslife · 05/12/2025 09:59

Morning all!
Welcome @ridingfreely

ShyMaryEllen · 05/12/2025 10:06

Mother Root is expensive, but very nice. I've been adding a shot to a hot 'tea' made from a generous teaspoon of turmeric honey and hot water. The combination is lovely, and I tell myself it's healthy and liver-friendly.

I got a bottle of Gimber (an apparently similar cordial/whatever it is) on offer from Amazon, but I haven't opened it yet, as they both have a shelf life and the MR is still going. I can't remember what I paid for the Gimber, but it had a big discount. Sadly it is now the same price as Mather Root, though. I'll report back with a comparison when I've tried it.

I like the supermarket brand 0% fizz. To my palate they all taste the same, and are better than the branded ones (eg Nosecco) as they aren't as sweet or 'artificial' tasting. They don't taste like champagne or prosecco, to be fair, but they are drinkable in their own right, and you get the ritual of popping the cork and pouring it into a flute, which satisfies the habit side of things (for me, anyway).

I am having absolutely no desire to drink, and haven't since the scan result came in. It was the same last time - I just don't want to drink wine any more than I want to drink bilgewater. This time it's easier, in that I 'only' drank occasionally, and it has 'only' been over a couple of years at most (more like 18 months), so the habit links aren't there, and I don't have any withdrawal symptoms to contend with. I'd quite like the vivid dreams, though 😀

Most of my discomfort is mental, really. I know I have pushed my liver into irreversible changes which weren't there before. I have a bit of health anxiety, so keep waiting anxiously for things to progress, which it's remotely possible they won't do. My appetite is poor, which is a symptom of cirrhosis but also of anxiety, and the same applies to sleeplessness and fatigue, which I also have.

I read yesterday (I know - I should keep off Google!) that a lot of people have liver scarring that is found post mortem - they die with it rather than from it, and have no idea they have it. Whilst a troubling fact, it reassured me a bit. I do know that despite everything I feel a lot better than I did as an habitual drinker, and it's hard to believe that I am ill now and wasn't then, if that makes sense?
Anyway. I am out later for another three course Christmas lunch. I need to check on what I ordered - pork for the main, I think, but no idea about starter or pudding. It should be fun, if the Secret Santa doesn't go awry, as it usually does. There is always someone who rolls her eyes at the wrong person and causes offence😂.

The event is organised by an older lady, who is probably 'wandering' a bit, bless her. The bill causes mayhem every year, as she insists on making things 'easier' by taking cash in advance, which she then miscounts, and can't cope with people adding drinks or changing their minds about puddings. She was horrified the year we insisted on paying separately by card, as in her head that complicates things for the staff, so now we just let her run with it. She thinks she is the only one capable of 'organising' events, and there's nothing to be gained by bursting her bubble. Our usual venue is closed just now, so we are descending on a new one who will be unused to her😀. I wish them joy of the experience.

Sorry for the long post. I got a bit carried away. I also posted this on the old thread, so have deleted and put it on here instead. Clearly I am in no position to talk about 'wandering' older ladies😂

Also (to lengthen the post further!) the first bit was in response to something on the other thread about AF drinks. I was going to delete it, but as it's Christmas I thought I'd leave it, in case it's of use to anyone stocking up for the holidays.

Whenindoubthugitout · 05/12/2025 10:08

Morning all
welcome @ridingfreely

do you want to share what brings you here?
I am an ordinary person, but have no off switch when it comes to alcohol. So one is too many and 6 is not enough.

I was tired of feeling tired and hungover and regretful. I am very fortunate - the only person I was harming was me. But I have decided that harming me was not where I wanted to be. So I am day 42.