Continuing support thread for those trying to live an alcohol free life - summer 2025

[Onewildandpreciouslife]

Hello and welcome. I’m glad you’ve found your way here. We are a bunch of people who are trying to give up and keep off alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness.

The original thread was started by @drybird in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans and newer members who can offer advice and signposting. You are welcome here, whether you post several times a day, once or twice and then never again, or if you just come to read but have no intention of ever posting.

Whatever your stage on the AF journey, and whatever you’re going through, someone here will have gone through it too. Don’t be shy about posting, we love to celebrate your successes of whatever shape and size - and will support you when things get challenging. We get it, we've been there too.

All we ask is that you’re genuinely trying to abstain completely . If you’re looking to moderate your drinking rather than quitting it altogether then MN has another long-running and very active moderation thread that’s always near the top on the alcohol support board. Lots of fine support there if that is your aim. That doesn’t mean that none of us has ever slipped, or that you can’t post here if you do - all we ask is that you are genuinely trying to stop drinking alcohol completely.

It’s not easy to be sober, but it is so, so worth it. Your alcohol-free life can be better than you ever dreamed. Come on in.

Got Dr Dre as a ear worm now @Becky37 ... 😆

Let's none of us crumble of a Friday, it would be too much of a cliche! 😄✊

Good luck with your recce today, @WendyWagon ... don't let the poor sleep affect your outlook (or is that just me?) @lavrander, Sugar still drinks champagne in SLIH, so there you go, but there's that link to alcohol abuse and depression - ironic given Marilyn's history, the wee soul...

Having an anxious Day 5, woke with my pulse whacking away at 100bpm just sitting there, catastrophisin' and muddle-headed... so have taken a beta blocker which helps a lot... If you want to know if you have a problem with alcohol, try stopping and see how you feel, eh... 🙄 I know the drill: exercise, enough sleep (always an issue), meditate and stay aff the bevvy...

@REP22 I was starting to think that Sid is like Greta Garbo at the end of Queen Christina - a blank mask of enigmatic beauty upon which we project our own feelings - but that is definitely a Hoomin-Lookin' Smile... because he knows his Mummy loves him enough to cover him with her mac! Lucky Sid! ❤️

Oh the nights are long without crashing out after alcohol! I think I've spent more time awake than asleep! I've never been a good sleeper at the best of times, with my brain constantly in overdrive - that's been part of the reason for drinking I think. Has anybody taken anything to help them sleep after giving up?

@swanchaser I use sleepeaze/nytol - 25mg or 50mg - but I keep it as an occasional thing, just to get a reset. I also listen to meditation CDs.

Solidarity, sleep is essential to my mental health, but the 'brain in overdrive' is my issue too and also why I drank, and why I need to stop!

Currently, though, I'm awake because I woke convinced I could heard a creaking/splitting noise from the attic... I was dreaming of barns and houses blowing down, so it might have been that, but I'll have to go up in the morning and check... 😨

@CuddlesKovinsky thanks for the tipoff, sounds like we are in the same boat and I guess many others here too! Before I took semi-retirement I was in a senior position with lots of responsibility, so would be awake in the small hours trying to solve insolvable problems - that's when the evening wine habit started in earnest. I'll try some nytol.
Here's hoping there's nothing to awful going on in your attic x

@Swanchaser I used to fall asleep early when I was drinking, but then spend a couple of hours or more wide awake in the middle of the night, sweating, heart racing and restless. When I stopped drinking it took a while for sleep to settle down. I wouldn't feel sleepy until much later which made the evenings very long. Eventually, I found things to occupy me, I go to bed later now and my sleeping is much better. I tried melatonin once but it didn't work for me. Counting backwards in sevens from 1000 often helped me to get to sleep, or going through the alphabet for various things - girls' names, pop bands, towns, film titles etc. I'm sure others will have some more helpful suggestions. Whatever happens, I am certain that, given time, you will have much better sleep without alcohol - and feel miles better in the morning.

@LillyPJ yes to the drunken, heart racing wake ups! And you're right, I'm going to bed too early in an attempt to avoid drinking and fill the alcohol free evening - I need to change routines and use my time more constructively.
Thanks for your support and advice - this thread is soooo encouraging. Have a good day all x

I made it through another Friday 🙆‍♀️

Off to do a local Park run in half an hour, pray for me people!

@CuddlesKovinsky

Definately going to blast some Dre and snoop dog on the down hills 😁

Good luck on the park run. Isn't it amazing just being able to wake up and get out.

Re sleep aids I've found that a magnesium supplement has helped with that. An hour before bed. I used to take stupidly expensive morning and night supplements and they were great but, stupidly expensive. Podcasts also help me to switch off. I also count backwards but in 3s. Still, sleep quality is miles better than before.

The visitors had a lot of booze last night. When they first arrived I had a bit of a battle about whether to join in but after about 30 mins to an hour I started to see the effects and also the smell and was glad that I held off. Not judging just noticed. Had a good chat but noticed the conversation actually becomes quite individualistic with each person unable to respond to the other properly so just repeating their own part of the conversation.
It hit home how futile alcohol is. It doesn't enable more deep and meaningful conversations. I also don't think they were having any more fun than me.

My final observation is the Thomson and Scott Naughty Brut 0% is lovely. A good replacement for fizz. Not too sweet.

Morning all.
Well done on getting through Friday @Becky37 - hope you enjoy the Parkrun!

Sounds an “interesting” evening @Lavrander - glad you won the initial battle

Sorry you’re struggling with sleep @Swanchaser . I read that when we drink, because it knocks us out, our brain realises it doesn’t need to bother to produce the sleepy chemicals to send us to sleep. When we stop drinking we’re then unable to get sleepy naturally. Eventually our brain realises it needs the natural sleepy stuff, so starts to produce it again. It’s a matter of waiting for our brain to do its thing.

DP got back from work at 10pm, after just the three pints, then opened a big box of Pringles and a bottle of Prosecco.

I was watching something only moderately good on the iPlayer while doing some admin. I chose it for the soundtrack, finding it moderately entertaining while not giving it my full attention.

He commented on every song, and criticised the plot/genre, all very loudly.

I explained multiple times, nicely, that I was just having it on as background music while I did some paperwork; that no, I didn't own that album; that no, I didn't remember the song from the first time around because I was too young then; and that it's okay sometimes for a programme to not be very cool or a bit rom-com (oh the shame).

At 11.30 he fell asleep on the sofa snoring very loudly, to the point of having a sore throat this morning.

He's generally entertaining company! This morning, he had no idea what the problem was when I tried to explain. And - I realise I must have been like that after just the three pints and couple of glasses of wine, every Friday night.

Afternoon shipmates.

A bit late to the deck. I've been tidying again. The DS has finished his bathroom and has moved on to the main bathroom. I'm letting him get on with it.
The DH is on rubbish duty.

I went for a final look at the farmhouse yesterday and I really do love the house and garden. It's just my style. The DD and I love it, the DS hates it and the DH is on the fence. The road is the problem. Very busy.

2 strong magnesium tablets before bed

@Lavrander

I was actually slower then last week but those hills are brutal and my legs just said 'No' to even slowly jogging them this morning. Heres a pic of me and mother afterwards, have been googling 'how to get an NHS boob job for free' since it was taken 🤣. I will never wear that bra again

@Onewildandpreciouslife

Yes it was great! Obviously last thing you want to do when you first wake up but once there and with the glorious weather this morning, it was so fun and felt powerful afterwards

Hello all. I’ve been following the thread for a while but I didn’t know when to jump in, especially in the early days, in case I didn’t stay the course. I’m day ~ 65. Doing ok, apart from nightmares and headaches almost every other night. They seem to be abating, though. I’m also coming off antidepressants, so might be that too. I have been to the pub twice in the last couple of months and had friends over twice, stayed AF or had AF beer.

Good luck everyone with the various life/health/money challenges and particularly to those in the early days. 🤞🤞🤞

About help falling asleep: I listen to podcasts on a quiet volume. If one could acquire knowledge during sleep I’d be an absolute savant by now.

Welcome, @postcard. 65 days is great going. I can't remember how long the vivid dreams went on for me, but I missed them when they did😀

Hypnotists (or the ones that sell downloads, at least😉) say that you can absorb messages in your sleep, so if that's the case the podcasts might do the same.

Hi all, have been AWOL for a bit owing to work, back to school and general business.

Up north this weekend as running the GNR tomorrow. Was hoping for a good time but.from.all I have heard and the wave I have been placed in this seems unlikely tomorrow so am just going to do my best to try and enjoy it.

For those struggling to sleep, I listen to podcasts and take turns with DH to sleep in the spare room most nights . On those occasions where I can't (on holiday or when we have overnight guests) I use ozlo earbuds that play a white noise/podcasts.

These help drown out the snoring.

Much love and strength to all

IWNDWYT

Day 12 and now 13 done. Ilnotjingvwentright at work yesterday and I was seeing wine bottles everywhere (think old cartoon dessert mirages) but I stayed away. Told DH I was finding it tough. Then today with clear head we we scarified aerated and seed/top dressed the lawn. Took all day
. absolutely exhausted now. We’ve just been to the curry house around the corner (another test). Got my 0% tanqueray so I’m happy. Now trying to find something to watch while I try not to think about which part of me aches the most 😆

Welcome @postcard and congratulations on your 65 days

I am very jealous @EastCoastDamsel - I had surgery a few weeks ago so my big trip is cancelled (but hopefully only postponed), and I’ve transferred my place in the Royal parks half to a friend. I’ll probably need more surgery once I’ve healed from the last one, so Brighton marathon is looking a bit iffy too. Hope tomorrow goes well

Blimey checking in for accountability Day 11.
Really struggling and have been absolutely horrid to DH who must be a saint to put up with me
My mind is playing all sorts of games which I know is how it works but blimey this evening is so hard
Why am I so on edge and making everyone around me miserable?
Have soft drinks to hand
Been paddle boarding so had some exercise
Recommenced HRT 4 days ago after cardiologist made me stop it abruptly a year ago …. I wonder if that can put you on edge first few days??
And breathe
Plating the tape forward ….. we can do this xxxx

It's the last thing I'd want to do any time, but look at you, you look so stoked there! 👏 And @EastCoastDamsel , enjoy your run tomorrow! So impressed with y'all... running clearly gives you excellent legs...

Another thing for the Sleepless in Sobriety: try listing things like food or flowers or actors alphabetically - all the As you can think of, then the Bs, and so on... gives your brain something to gnaw on... I also try to remember all the words of songs in musicals, currently working through Encanto... 😄

Couldn't find an obvious cause of the 5am noise, think it might have been 'exploding head syndrome', which is A Thing and I have had before - my eustachian tubes have been playing up lately, that can do it, also maybe part of the quit? May also be a little owl who occasionally scuttles up our gutters... 😍

Ooh, will be looking out for the blood moon tomorrow about 7:30pm! 🌝

In fact, everyone seems to be dealing with challenging things here lately! Runs and house searches and medical stuff... How mighty to be doing it sober! (And yet, my goddess, so much easier too, eh?!) Impressed all round!

And @taylorean , I relate to the Sloppy Husband thing... mine gets louder and nitpicky about the telly and clumsily affectionate to the cat (who is appalled), then suddenly declares it's time for us all to go to bed - I love my own contrasting calm... Ommm...

Watched the National Youth Orchestra Prom tonight, those kids were bloody fantastic! So strong and skilled and committed and clearly having a wonderful time, I was rather moved by it all... ❤️