The support thread for anyone trying to live an alcohol free life. Spring 2025.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome.
These threads were started by drybird in 2020 and have gone on to support many people to give up alcohol and live a sober life.
We are not a moderarion thread and only encourage sobriety. There is another long running thread if that's what you feel is right for you. Lots of support there.
We have newbies and veterans, some who have 5+ years under their belts.
We share life's up and downs (often why we drank) and no question is too silly.
Personally I gave up drinking three years ago. It's the hardest thing I've done and the best thing.
We call our selves sober sisters and even have a mascot, Sid the ship's dog.
He poses often for a cheer up picture.
We're not here to judge, just offer support and friendship.
It gets better I promise.

Next one May.

So glad your op was successful @WendyWagon. Me and Sid are cheering for you. 🎉xx

“Alcohol is a mask we wear until we know who we really are or want to be”

@WendyWagon I love this quote! Glad to hear your operation was a success and that you are feeling stronger. ❤️

The best thing about being sober? You get your feelings back.
The worst thing about being sober? You get your feelings back.
(Not my original thought!)

I think I now get more resentful about not being able to use wine in cooking than I do about drinking it. I’m actually not resentful about not being able to drink anymore - I don’t know if it’s the sunshine, but I have been weirdly happy for the past few weeks. It’s as if my happiness is innate, not situational - it’s not dependent upon external events, which it has generally been in the past. Anyhow, that’ll probably change, so I am enjoying it whilst it lasts 😁 What I was intending to write before going off on a tangent was that I find a dash of balsamic vinegar can be used instead of red wine in many dishes. It adds a bit more depth.

@FaithHopeCarnage I do still use wine in cooking. I don’t know if that’s contentious or not? My husband still drinks red wine, albeit much less as he has really cut down and my adult daughter enjoys a glass of white but again maybe only a couple of glasses a week. So an open bottle isn’t wasted and more importantly none goes into me.

@CarrotSeeds I think we all have to find a way that works for us. For me, because I’ve been to rehab (more than once 😢), I’m the product of quite a hard line approach. Plus I do AA, which is quite totalitarian! I live on my own and have no alcohol in the house, and for the time being I’m not secure enough in my sobriety to risk buying even one of those stupidly small bottles and tipping the whole thing into the dish. I think you’re amazing for being able to handle open bottles being around! I’d like to think I could, but don’t have enough faith to test it. As I think I’ve complained about on here before, my principles will not allow me to buy Baileys ice cream but I will happily eat a banana - which if ripe enough, has a higher alcohol percentage! Personally I don’t find anything contentious in regard to recovery. We are all walking our own path and our recovery/sobriety is our own. Ultimately we are only accountable to ourselves. And a little hand-holding along the way can only help.

@FaithHopeCarnage ❤️

Plus very interesting fact about a ripe banana. I didn’t know that. And I eat lots of bananas 😊

Morning ships company on this beautiful sober spring voyage.
I will not drink today.

I look back now and shudder at how much the merry-go-round was sabotaging my mental health.

Love and kind thoughts to all.
Stay safe and sober.

Ahoy and good morning.
Mr Tiggle has had his breakfast and I the last cheese scone.

I have a meeting online today so I need to spruce up. Later a friend for lunch, the phantom wine gifter.

The DD is busy writing her essays after her wobble, she's pulled her socks up. She was very funny last night doing an impression of her brother. He's got the control issues as listed by Sober Dave (great book if you haven't read it). Text book. Being a trainee psychologist she makes a statement and moves on. I love her to bits she's so funny and kind.

A peaceful day would be nice. No dramas.

Bookmarking this thread- am on the alcohol support thread living with alcoholics as my DH is one sadly. But this threads just for me and my sober journey! For some reason I find the cravings less in Spring!

@Needsomeadvice2234 welcome

Welcome @Needsomeadvice2234

I'm feeling absolutely great, I spoke to dh last night, ofcourse he did the whole "you don't have a problem with alcohol, you've not drank all week etc" but calmly I explained that the problem isn't needing a drink daily it's when I drink its affecting my mental health, my hangovers are off the scale, the sickness and after effecte, . I laid out some of the stark realities of it, of which he's seen first hand but I think that helped him to understand why I need to do this.
Usually on a Friday I'm fuzzy headed from wine on Thursday night and not today, up and out before 8am walking the dog for almost an hour along the beautiful countryside that we live in, catching up on podcasts or just listening to bird song. A brilliant start to the weekend in which I'm doing all I can to be AF, I've prepared myself with a mix of sober drinks and snacks. If I make it to Monday. Which I will!! That will be the longest I've ever gone (bar pregnancy) without a drink

Morning Day 54 completed.
Welcome @Needsomeadvice2234.

I met a friend for a ‘drink’ last night, she’s not a close friend and I fussed a little about what to do, whether to message before to let her know I wasn’t drinking. In the end, I just turned up and ordered a 0% beer and then a Diet Coke. She drank alcohol. She didn’t mention me not drinking so not sure what she thought and all was fine. The truth is I’m more present when not drinking, I am more relaxed and listen. That’s amazing.

My work shit rattles on but I saw a clip from Brene Brown telling me to lean into discomfort so that’s what I’m doing. I’m sick of staying small, to avoid conflict, to pretend it’s ok when it’s not.

Dear World, please be aware that I am now sober and I mean business. Love Kindtomyself

Morning beautiful sober shipmates.
I will not drink today.

It's liberating not spending my day waiting for that first drink.

Love and kind thoughts to all.
Stay safe and sober.

Morning all
day 13 today
saw a counsellor thursday
determind to not waste my life
onwards and upwards all
x

Morning Day 55.
Good on you @Sortoutyourshit sounds like you are doing what your name suggests.

I woke this morning and felt overjoyed for being sober, it’s such a bloody good feeling (and relief). I never want to wake up in the shame filled cloud again.

Fear monopolising my life in various ways so I am focusing on changing that and forgiving my past self for being overwhelmed.

Morning all.
Up with the dog.
Husband at work and DS in the big smoke.
The friend only stayed a hour yesterday so no cutting remarks this time.
I've got quite alot of flowers so my hall is beginning to look like a hotel lobby.

I did have a out of the blue craving yesterday but I came up to my boudoir. The DD brought me tea, hoorah.

Morning

Sunny but cold here. I fear I might have a running injury brewing 😢. Am going to try different shoes and a good warmup today.

I also had a craving yesterday. I think it is because it is the first sunny Friday afternoon this year, and DH had just completed a a potentially life changing deal at work (we will know more in the years to come) and was looking to celebrate.

I could tell he was (for the first time) just a little sad that he didn't have a drinker to go to the pub with after work.

We went out for pizza instead so all was well.

Morning all!! It is great waking up with no hangover. I actually found my non alcoholic fizzy wine and separately a grapefruit tonic really hit the spot last night. Had a wobble today as have plans with a friend later but decided to stand firm. It's ridiculous this is day 6 and I'm already had a thought of one won't Hurt 🙄 pushing it back into its box will report back tomorrow!!!! Keep strong safe and sober everyone

So, I have reached 90 days!

I remember being at a weight watchers meeting once. It had taken me 7 months to lose 7 pounds. Of course the leader - or whatever you call them - had to make a song and dance in front of everyone. It was a big meeting of maybe 40 people. “Yay, you’ve got your first, silver 7, smellyme! How do you feel!?” Ever the pessimist, I responded that it was really hard work and I was a bit disappointed that was all I had achieved. She didn’t like that!*

3 months’ sober and I wish I was happier and thinner BUT, I know I have achieved a lot. My apps tell me I’ve saved around £750 and 50,000 calories. There’s all the hidden health benefits. I’m better with my children. Most of all, I am managing my new job and really enjoying it. I wouldn’t have been able to do it if I hadn’t stopped. I would have been burnt out.

My sleep isn’t brilliant, but I am not sure what I should be expecting. When I was younger - 20s - I liked at least 9 hours sleep a night. I don’t seem to be achieving more than 7, sometimes less. A lot of people seem perfectly content with that. Should I be? I’m older now with 3 dcs. I don’t wake up feeling refreshed. I wake up groggy. I’m still going by my I-am-3-weeks-behind-the-curve-theory so it could get better yet, by day 110 or so.

Glad to still be here and posting and achieving. :)

*I didn’t lose much because I absolutely love cooking and eating and their stupid,
complicated pro points system and recipes robbed all the joy out of it for me! I was also not that chubby then and only needed to lose a stone. I had hoped not drinking, the weight would fall off. Alas no! However, I have been at the gym and I know I have lost 5lbs of fat to muscle. There’s a fancy machine that tells me all that kind of stuff. Change doesn’t have to slap you in the face 😂.

Yay @SmellyMe - 90 days! Fabulous!

Fabulous @SmellyMe on 90 days.

I didn’t lose any weight when I went to slimming world. The instructor was adamant I wasn’t following it properly but she had to agree I was when she saw my diary’ entries. After that I cut out fruit and lost weight.

Not sure why I’m sharing that but just thought I would ha!

’Alcohol is a mask we wear until we know who we really are and what we want to be’

Powerful words. Alarming that I’ve gone through so much of my life wearing that mask!

I’m glad your operation went well @WendyWagon .

I find the analogy of getting back on your bike and keeping going a bit double-edged: yes, it’s consoling and can stop me from getting discouraged, but for me it makes slipping up too easy…

Beginning to think I need to make reduction my aim (though I’ve been at that rodeo before).

Thanks for the encouraging words, fellow travellers.

I’ve been reading Glucose Revolution: very interesting book on reducing and flattening blood sugar spikes.

Intriguingly the author suggests you can lose weight just by changing the order with which you eat the food on your plate, without any calorie reduction! (Fibre - proteins / fats - carbs)