The support thread for anyone trying to live an alcohol free life. Spring 2025.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome.
These threads were started by drybird in 2020 and have gone on to support many people to give up alcohol and live a sober life.
We are not a moderarion thread and only encourage sobriety. There is another long running thread if that's what you feel is right for you. Lots of support there.
We have newbies and veterans, some who have 5+ years under their belts.
We share life's up and downs (often why we drank) and no question is too silly.
Personally I gave up drinking three years ago. It's the hardest thing I've done and the best thing.
We call our selves sober sisters and even have a mascot, Sid the ship's dog.
He poses often for a cheer up picture.
We're not here to judge, just offer support and friendship.
It gets better I promise.

That sounds very exciting @WendyWagon - you'd be amazing at that. x

Hi, thanks for all the inspiration ladies. I am 11 days sober and really trying to get through weekend. Have relied on 1-2 (or 3) sneaky glasses of wine to get through most days to deal with anxiety. Whilst essnetially a functioning alcholic things were starting to unravel. I hope it is ok to join. I am ashamed of my secret drinking

Welcome @Trying2StaySane - since you've stopped, you can say you were ashamed. Not that shame is very productive...

I think that was my pattern, and I just got fed up of it. I'm nearly 150 days in now and it's been fine.

For the first two or three weeks, I went to bed early, ate a lot of Tangfastics & took things easy - I slept well and read a quit lit book! I remember it very fondly now as a time of readjustment.

I don't really think of having a glass of wine in the evenings now. Though still notice and really value having more time in the evenings, better mornings and more energy.

You will be fine - better than fine - and we're here with you ❤

Thank you @taylorean , I really appreciate and reponse. Love your distinction on 'were' ashamed. Well done you on 150 days, that is a great achievement. I have been so tired and doing very little. On a break from work but will need to find energy again. It is hard to see too far ahead at this stage. Thanks so much for all the support here ❤

@Trying2StaySane if it will cheer you up I hid my booze in the boot of my old sportscar. Another of our number statched it in her garden hedge!

Sober Saturdays are great. I try to sneak out and go shopping.

Other things to look forward to:

Seeing the pounds and calories pile up on the Try Dry app. Over 40,000 calories and nearly £700 for me!

Never feeling guilty if you have a morning headache or feel a bit sick - your conscience is clear!

More space for puddings

Discovering virgin cocktails

Being able to say, smugly and with conviction, 'I don't drink' when the doctor asks

I love the positivity of this trend. Shopping Saturday sounds like a great idea @WendyWagon . I honestly am in shock at the places I have used to hide, reusable coffee cups, refill water bottles ..! @taylorean will look into the Try Dry app. I have spent so much time foucsed on just surviving and not drinking that I haven't really thought about a positive future yet. I know that is part of why I am doing this but really got to the point where I felt something bad would happen.

Hello @Trying2StaySane ! I'm on Day 36. I was drinking every day - those 2 or 3 (or sometimes 4...) glasses - and just didn't seem to be able to stop. I suffered from anxiety and really poor sleep, and I could see the drinking just getting worse. It took me years before I managed a dry day - Day 1, so I'm determined not to slip now! My anxiety is much better now and the sleeping is amazing. I find the Try Dry app really helpful and the support here is great. Lots of positives - more money for a start, clear headed, brighter eyes... I've even lost a bit of weight, which I wasn't expecting. And I won't have to lie to doctors any more!

Good morning lovely people. Today is day 14. I’m feeling better and although there’s still a latent anxiety I am much more level in my mood. We’re off on holiday today - I’m looking forward to relaxing in the sun with an AF lager!
Strength and positivity to you all and thank all so so much for all the support so far 🥰

@MagsMagnolia thats great! Bon voyage! I have been thinking of you a lot but never have time to post.

you sound like you’ve been in quite a rut but things are improving now? Did you get your councillor?

can you get a new job nearer your DS/DD and then make the other stuff fall into line behind?

I got a new job in December after years of misery. I love it and it’s going really well. I got it knowing I would need to move. The move will finally happen in July so a lot less driving for me finally!

I’ve hit the 5 month mark. Things are great. I am feeling so happy and I find it strange because I haven’t had that feeling for such a long time. I was so utterly miserable for years. I worry that it’s a fantasy and will all come crashing down!

i have saved over £1200 according to one conservative app estimate. This doesn’t include DH’s abstinence so I imagine combined it’s nearer £2k. What a horrifying amount of money was wasted.

i’ve losf nearly.a stone. I’m not one of the lucky ones where it just falls off from not
drinking. I started a diet in April. I wouldn’t have been able to do it properly if I was drinking. I’ve never managed to diet beyond 5 weeks in the last decade. I’m embarking on my 10th week next week and keen to continue.

i had dinner with a friend last night. I was absolutely fine with them drinking wine and me having a water. In times gone by, I would have got through a bottle before we even sat down to eat and would have ploughed on through another over dinner. I had a great time, got in my car and drove home. :)

enjoy the weekend!

Morning beautiful ladies on the voyage of a lifetime.
I will not drink today.

Having goals gives your life focus, and something else to think about at the witching hour.

Sending serenity facing the storm.
Stay safe and sober.

Morning All! @MagsMagnolia Glad you're doing well and the anxiety is settling. Mine is much less than it used to be and I keep having moments when I realise I am totally relaxed and happy - that always catches me by surprise! Enjoy your AF holiday. I was nervous before my 10 day trip with my friends. We've been going away together for 8 years and it always involved drinking. But it was fine. Hardly anyone commented and nobody made a big deal out of it. You'll have a great time - and better memories.

Morning all.
It's stopped raining here.

Some excellent stories ladies.
I too find myself thinking wow I'm happy.
There was always some drama when I was drinking. I also don't wake up smelling like a nightclub door.

Not sure if I'm going out for a shop. I had new shoes arrive yesterday. Black with diamonte straps. I haven't tried them on yet. I also have Woman and Home to read. The DS is away so it's quieter.

Weeding awaits if I can get out in the garden.

@SmellyMe Hi there! Glad you’re still here. Things are definitely improving two weeks in and I’m on a wait list to see a counsellor. I had a preliminary face to face appointment with her and it felt very natural to open up to her, so I’m happy to wait. It shouldn’t be too long.

I’m looking at changing my job slightly by doing a Masters over the next couple of years, which will make me a bit more ‘portable’. Now I’m feeling a bit more level I can see that moving now wouldn’t be the right thing, so once DS1 is back in the country and decided where he want ls to settle we can make some decisions.
It’s lovely to hear how well your doing, 5 months is fantastic!

Just checking in because I feel lonely- the house is SO cluttered yet my brain still thinks I’m a student and has to hang on to everything just in case . Thanks for the heads up re father in laws rep22 he is living with us till he gets his house sorted 🙄of course he can’t cook on a gas hob he needs an induction hob etc etc. I’m trying to tidy and he is just everywhere. He’s only sitting reading but it’s like he apparates into whatever room I want to go in !
well done everyone that’s managing to do this. I need to change my brain and my father in law at a fundamental level.
has anyone tried hypnosis?!
🌺to everyone

@Healthynow I can empathise. My friend and her dog are staying with me for a few weeks until she gets completion on her new house. She's really tidy, cleans up after herself and her dog and keeps asking much of her stuff as possible in her room. But I feel like I'm always tripping over something and there's stuff everywhere I look. I think I've just got so used to my own space that I've grown selfish in my old age!

Good morning shipmates. No cricket today because of the forecast storms. Sid not happy. But he hates the rain, so once it starts he will see reason.

Lovely update @SmellyMe ❤️

@Healthynow if FiL is on the dementia pathway, then one of the things that can happen is "shadowing", where the person follows you around, needing to keep you in sight at all times. It can be very trying. In one sense I suppose it can be flattering, as it's an indication that you are their "safe person" that they want to be close to, but it can be incredibly wearing. Hang in there. It will be OK. He's lucky to have you. 💐

How'd it go with the farmhouse @WendyWagon ?

Strength and courage my friends. xx

@REP22 ah dear rep we were outbid this morning. I'm not playing pick me in any sphere of my life.

I've just put a bid in on our former home. A beautiful house but it was bought by a London property developer. It now looks like a bordello!
I can wind that back. The DC are estatic. I don't like one neighbour but I think I could live with it. They're just nosy and moany re a shared hedge. The other side is fabulous and but does serve drinks at 10am!
My old dog is buried in the garden and I left specimen plants.
Of course the story was it was a forever purchase- my arse😂

Sorry to hear you were outbid wendywagon
thank you rep22 that may well be what’s happening. I’m just resentful because I couldn’t look after my dementia mum because of Covid.
managed not to drink, yay! Bloody DH has bought a ton of 91 point wine from lidl. But he tidied the kitchen so he’s excused
met a lovely woman, rich enough to be super fit looking, top job etc. I’m trying to use her as inspiration. I want to be like her, not this soft flumpy stiff unhealthy thing I’m turning into.first step..enjoying being af!
love to everyone and thank you for being so helpful.
IWNDWYT.💪

Ahoy amazing ships company.
I will not drink today.

You only get out what you put in. Make sure your filling the pot of 'I'm so pleased I'm AF' not the pot of ' just one wont hurt '.

Sending lifeboats and Yorkshire tea.
Live long and prosper 🚀

Morning all. Ahoy from steady waters.

I had a great day yesterday watching a midsommer murders I hadn't seen, reading my magazine and making a fab curry. I've been seduced into buying expensive chopped tomatoes. The DS thinks they are so good he got me some more when they were on offer.

I need to go out today and buy some jeans. I actually hate jeans as I've skinny legs and a mum tum. No bottom. Everything I'm wearing is falling off or as baggy as hell. I've waited years to wear a pair of jeans and a white Tshirt.
I used to wear Gloria Vandevelt as a teenager. I can't wear flares, I look like a bag woman. Any suggestions welcome.

I might go to Asda. They sell the best AF sav blanc sparkling wine. Good jeans too.

Morning all.

A bit damp and cloudy here.
I'm off to the hospital later to get a jab. Hopefully moving a bit better in a few days.

The DH and I went car hunting. I fancy something a bit blingy, he wants what's practical. Neither of us can sit on low sofas so fancy sports cars are out! Shame as I feel a mid life/ third age spree coming on.

Will discuss our old house with the DS later. He's very opinionated but tbf very savvy too.

Ahoy crew on HMS Sobriety
I will not drink today.

Do what you can,that's all you can do. Spending more time and emotion after that has a negative impact on your mental health. Remind yourself of this when you start revisiting a situation.

Sending serenity and kindness.
Show up for yourself today.

Welcome @Trying2StaySane, hope we can help, you'll feel a bit out of sorts for a bit but slowly life falls into a new routine.

Oh @SmellyMe your not afraid of a life challenge, I wish I was more like you. Well done on losing a stone, that's fabulous. How are things with your husband?

I do hypnosis weekly @Healthynow, there are so many on YouTube, I find 20 to 30 mins suit me best. I like Alicia Fairclough 'Stop negative thinking ' and 'Positive affirmations' .I also listen to Eddie Perino motivational posts , but you have to spend a bit of time finding one that resonates.

The cottage sounds intriguing @WendyWagon, why did you move? I'd have fabulous fun winding up a nosey neighbour 😄

Happy sunny holiday @MagsMagnolia.

@mermadeincornwall ah a very long story re the glammy house. Not a cottage. Party house. We still live in the same village but in a hamlet on the outskirts.

Huge fight with the previous owner who liked a bit/a lot of Charlie on a Friday night. I did a MN thread on him once.
Let's say he's known to the rozzers.
Can I forget all of that for one of the most beautiful houses locally?