The support thread for anyone trying to live an alcohol free life. Spring 2025.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome.
These threads were started by drybird in 2020 and have gone on to support many people to give up alcohol and live a sober life.
We are not a moderarion thread and only encourage sobriety. There is another long running thread if that's what you feel is right for you. Lots of support there.
We have newbies and veterans, some who have 5+ years under their belts.
We share life's up and downs (often why we drank) and no question is too silly.
Personally I gave up drinking three years ago. It's the hardest thing I've done and the best thing.
We call our selves sober sisters and even have a mascot, Sid the ship's dog.
He poses often for a cheer up picture.
We're not here to judge, just offer support and friendship.
It gets better I promise.

@LillyPJ and @WendyWagon - I am so, so sorry you are having such trying times. I wish there was some way to reach in and take it all away.

It won't always be like this. Better times will come. xx

Thank you Rep

@WendyWagon Sorry to hear about your stress and hope you're feeling a bit more settled now. @REP22 Thanks. Things improved as the day went on so I feel calmer now and I'm glad to say I didn't have a drink, so Day 43 is successfully completed. Onwards and upwards!

Morning wonderful sober sisters who have become my loved and appreciated friends .
I will not drink today.

Today is a significant date for me. I shall spend it reminding myself how far I've come. Mylife is so much calmer now I'm off the merry-go-round round of day ones.

Sending blooming marvellous gardens.

Good morning shipmates.

Up and two Yorkshire teas down.
I've munched a peach Danish with a bit of assistance from the dog.

I survived yesterday and I'm proud of myself. I was really upset and managed not to break my sobriety or write any angry letters. I watched a bit of TV and turned the light out.

Its come over dark here so I suspect rain.
I need plant food and beans sticks. One of my tomatoes has turned into a triffid.

Happy significant day, Mermaid ❤❤❤ Well done on your achievement!

Your posts mean so much to me and I suspect the rest of us too xxx

shymaryellen - this is brilliant - ‘ Alcohol causes so many health niggles as well as the biggies like cancer and cirrhosis. Itching, bleeding gums, wind, fatigue - even fungal toenails can be caused by drinking. Not a glamorous list, I'm sure you'll agree😎. We are better off in so many ways when sober.’
for years I’ve been trying to find out what alcohol actually does, there’s more info now, but it’s these little things that will help scare me off, they are more graspabale than the scarier stuff to get your head round.
plus I’ve just lost a toenail to a fungus, eeeeeewwwww so that’s sunk home.
so lovely to catch up with all the news, I have been beyond drained and tired.
BUT! Day 7!
hugs to everyone . Everything WILL get better.
everyone out tonight except me and FIL. I may well hide. Actually I may well go out and pretend I had a night out booked, hmmm. Just not a pub. Expect a lot of posts !

Day 7 @Healthynow !! Awesome work 👏👏

Thank you onewildandoreciouslife that means a lot to me. X

@Healthynow I think one of the biggest benefits for me, health-wise, is that I don't worry so much. I knew drinking too much was bad for me and every time I got something wrong with me, I'd wonder if it was alcohol-related and therefore my fault. So it was a constant cycle of worry, drinking to stop thinking about it, more worry, more drink etc. Just breaking the cycle, managing that first whole day without, was the hardest part for me. One whole week is fantastic! Be proud of yourself.

Morning all.
I've calmed down a bit more having talked to the DD. Her training does kick in when she wants it too!
I went to the boudoir and watched an old judge John Deed. I would have been 'not for sale' had I carried on with the law.
I'm very competitive though and I'm not sure I could have dealt with the misogyny. Plus the law is full of boozers! I also like a a bit of Martin Shaw.

Good to hear that many are overcoming the lure of the summer glass. Well done @Healthynow There was quite a few new AF wines in Waitrose yesterday. We bought elderflower tonic as I find it goes well with the orange AF gin. I do miss the Marks ready mixed, the new ones are not the same.

We were doing some house drive bys. One was a no and another a possibility. It's got an amazing garden. It will need professional msintance. A bit of road noise but as it's a 500 year old abode the walls will be thick! The husband likes the garages. Viewing this coming week I hope.
Keep the strength 💪 ladies.

You’ll find the perfect place I’m sure wendywagon and I hope things calm down a bit.
thank you for the support. wendy and lillypj it’s mad isn’t it. Giving up seems so sensible yet is so hard. I’m trying to drop hints to teen son about how addictive and bad alcohol is without nagging him. it’s insane to think it’s like the fags of yesteryear really.
I did cheat a bit - I compared the af free fizz to a teeny bit of white wine out of curiosity. Both taste pretty bad actually, and I like to imagine the af wine guys trying to create a drink that’s actually vinegary but not quite. The white was just vinegar, yikes. In the end a cup of tea won out!
gosh better get up. A whole Sunday!

@Healthynow You were brave to try the wine! My son offered me a taste of his beer yesterday (it was supposed to have a caramelly biscuity flavour) but I didn't dare in case it set me off again! I'm sure I'd have been fine (and I'm positive you will be!) but I remember my struggles to stop smoking, finally managing after years of trying. Then a few months later and that 'just one won't hurt' moment... Before I knew it, I was back on 20 a day. It's Day 45 for me today and I'd like to get to 100 now. Sunday's a busy day for me so that helps to keep my mind occupied.

Ahoy beautiful sober sisters on this magnificent spring morning .
I will not drink today.

It really hit me yesterday how far I've come on this difficult, but oh so rewarding journey. I had a lovely afternoon out and didn't even flicker at the alcoholic drinks, went straight to the virgin cocktails. I enjoyed myself in a 'purer ' way than if I'd been drinking, if you know what I mean.
Thank you all for the support and friendship, I couldn't of done it without you .

Sending clarity and gratitude for having the opportunity to improve our lives. 🧜‍♀️

I haven't had a chance yet to catch up with everyone but your post caught my eye @WendyWagon,
Hope you're ok, sending lot's of care, kindness and Yorkshire tea 🫖

@mermadeincornwall oh bless you.
Yes today is a better day.

I'd had a bashing from two friends (I've been writing about them for years on this thread). Both OK on their own, together I get caught in the crossfire. Our boys were at school together and they are still doing the conpetitive mum rubbish . The 'boys ' are mid twenties. I avoided one for six months and up she popped. She visited me once in the year I was so desparately ill. Rich as midas and she could afford the petrol money!
The other one kept on sending booze. To someone who has been told they have cancer? Bizzare as we'd both lost a mutal friend earlier this year. She was an alcoholic.
Sobriety has given me much more clarity. I do stop and think now and put up barriers if necessary. I took myself off the WhatsApp group. (an act of rebellion).
I got sent a couple of emoji but no apology for making fun of my family member. They are like catnip though and turn up when they sense change.
The DD has given them a very funny nickname. I won't repeat it incase my stalker is still active on this thread. Everything seems to get back to one of them!
However sobriety and my sober sisters here have been great.
I waffle on but having no mother or sister i post here . Thank you all for that support. X

I've been thinking about something, and it's a theme in some of our posts - sorr if it's already been covered.

People tend to think about drinking in purely moral terms, a personal weakness. That there are good drinkers who are good people, and bad drinkers!

Some posters here have referred to social expectations, marketing, how the meme of 'wine o'clock' is bad for women etc. I've found all this really useful for understanding the wider pressures and cues.

I was really interested to see that the new weight-loss medications seem to reduce alcohol cravings as well as reducing food noise:
Could Ozempic help you drink less alcohol? Scientists are trying to find out : Shots - Health News : NPR
and
Once-Weekly Semaglutide in Adults With Alcohol Use Disorder: A Randomized Clinical Trial | Substance Use and Addiction Medicine | JAMA Psychiatry | JAMA Network

There seem to be links between GLP-1 hormones and dopamine. Suppressing the hormones that raise blood sugar helps to regulate dopamine better, and reduce alcohol cravings too.

This might explain that when I was younger, at the times when I was eating salads regularly, exercising properly etc I was also stabilising my mood - with less of an urge to share a bottle of wine while inhaling a full tin of Pringles, slobbing out in front of Netflix.

When busy and stressed, it felt like everything unravelled. More binge eating of sugary food, worse PMT, too much wine on a Friday night, staying up too late watching TV, no time to exercise. Slogging through the day. Nothing to look forward to... except a share pack of Maltesers (for one) and a large glass of Merlot.

I would have cycles of getting my lifestyle in order, provoked by self-loathing and trying to be a Better Person. But when I got too busy to eat well and exercise, it would kick off again.

Of course we're personally responsible! But it's mind-blowing to me that our diet and blood sugar might be connected to self-control, not just drinking but other behaviours too.

@taylorean i took wegovy last year for three weeks. Even during my three and a half years of sobriety I still got cravings. I didn't with this drug.

taylorean you’ve reminded me of being young! I noticed then that if I ate salad and excursuses I’d want to do more, if I slobbed out I’d lose the energy and want to slob more. Interesting!

lilypj I was probably kidding myself and just wanted a swig of wine. Tonight was very hard , so it’s boosted the old cravings. It’s better just to say, no. Full stop I think.

Morning fabulous ships company on the good ship Sobriety.
I will not drink today.

Finding what works for you can take time, and it often changes over time too. Our minds are complex ( well some are ) and the outside world throws more complexity to the mix. So ,if find yourself back sliding,its time to look again with fresh eyes what you need.

Sending calmness and peace, especially to those worrying about being bombed in their beds like the Iranian lady on the radio this morning.

That’s really interesting stuff @taylorean , thank you. The further along I trudge in my sobriety journey, the more I am coming to realise how EVERYTHING is connected. And how a relapse isn’t generally triggered by one event, but by a series of small issues that can slip under the radar. This of course was drummed into me in various rehabs over the years but I hadn’t really taken it in until now. A couple of weeks ago I noticed my routine was slipping slightly - I was having lunch later, no reason; I wasn’t busy, just ‘couldn’t quite be arsed’. Which led to having my evening meal later as I wasn’t hungry, and a correspondingly later bedtime. I’m not talking hours later, maybe just one - or two… Then next day I would be tired as I hadn’t had enough sleep and was not particularly inclined to do anything. I still walked my little dog but I was resentful at having to do it, and just wasn’t really doing anything that would improve my life (I don’t mean anything big and worthy, just things like cleaning, tidying up, gardening etc). I didn’t particularly fancy ‘healthy foods’ so ate fewer vegetables. The daft thing about this was that I was still cooking broccoli for my dog, just not for myself! Because I wasn’t doing anything I was getting bored, which for me is a massive trigger. I have a pretty high boredom threshold; can spend hours sitting on my arse watching rubbish TV quite happily. But a couple of days of total boredom and I found myself one rainy Sunday wishing I could have a bottle of wine to make me feel all warm and fuzzy… I did not, but it forced me to look back at my actions and behaviours. So back to basics! I’m a bit of a routine nazi now I’m not working - I have to be, it turns out!

I think it's spot on that we all have different triggers and temptations. I know a lot of people find weekends tricky, but I found it easier to change routines then - for me it was finishing work for the day that was the flashpoint. On Saturdays I could go out (in the summer, anyway) to places with no alcohol, there was less of a rush to get things done in the evenings and one way or another it was just easier. I know that's a minority view though.

Anyway - good morning shipmates, and ahoy to Sid. I've had a canine lodger over the weekend, but he and his humans have left for home this morning. I'm just clearing away water bowls and half-chewed 'bones'. I'm going to miss having a warm furry body lying on my feet, and finding a tennis ball dropped on my lap by an eager-faced puppy who wants to play.

Ahoy me hearties.

I'm up really late for me. The DH is back to work after some annual leave. I turned over and went back to sleep, hoorah.

Big meeting in London tomorrow. I shall be choosing an outfit. It's going to be 27c

Hello shipmates from me and Sid.

Late on deck today as have been in meetings all morning.

@taylorean - in my teens and twenties I was a real comfort-eater, which gradually morphed into comfort-drinking. I definitely recognise the cycles you describe.

I managed to badly twist my ankle and fell on Saturday. Dodgy cricket boundary. Sid decided to help by sitting on it (the ankle). Just a bit sore now, so no lasting harm done.

Hope the London meeting goes OK @WendyWagon.

I am reading The Penguin Lessons at the moment. It's quite a touching read.

Strength and courage my friends. x