The support thread for anyone trying to live an alcohol free life. Spring 2025.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome.
These threads were started by drybird in 2020 and have gone on to support many people to give up alcohol and live a sober life.
We are not a moderarion thread and only encourage sobriety. There is another long running thread if that's what you feel is right for you. Lots of support there.
We have newbies and veterans, some who have 5+ years under their belts.
We share life's up and downs (often why we drank) and no question is too silly.
Personally I gave up drinking three years ago. It's the hardest thing I've done and the best thing.
We call our selves sober sisters and even have a mascot, Sid the ship's dog.
He poses often for a cheer up picture.
We're not here to judge, just offer support and friendship.
It gets better I promise.

Dare I ask about the books, @REP22?

When I first gave up I had a (very simple) spreadsheet, and filled in cells in green when I didn't drink. The idea was that I'd use red if I slipped, but I didn't need to do that. I marked days that could be tricky in advance, such as parties, holidays and going out with boozy friends, so I could prepare myself for them. I found it helpful to see all the green, and didn't want to have accusatory red cells staring at me 😀.

@ShyMaryEllen - best case scenarios, they are Bibles and New Testaments to be handed out to knowing recipients/slipped by stealth to unknowing and unwilling others. Worst case scenarios, books and pamphlets about how Covid/AIDS/Parking Tickets/Whatever are divine judgement upon us wretched sinners and how we had better repent and mend our ways before it's too late. It's never-ending. And woe betide any attempt to filter it. 😢

But I have been assured that I am destined for the eternal lake of fire and sulphur anyway. Must remember to take the jacket spuds. Sid's bringing the marshmallows.

I do love a spreadsheet though. x

Oh dear. that sounds beyond grim.

Oh well, I'll be joining you in the (largely) unrepentant sinners corner, and it will be more fun there. I'll bring a chocolate fountain for the marshmallows?

Morning beautiful sober sisters on the top-notch ship Sobriety.
I will not drink today.

I do my best not to fill my head with problems I can't solve. When I catch myself slipping into those old worn thought patterns I say (outloud if possible) ' stop !'
I will do my best to be more like cabin boy Sid, and think of gravy and pork chops.

Sending an appreciation of nature and especially all the birds raising cicks .
Show up for yourself today.

I do feel like I'm raising cicks at the moment...

Morning all.
Ahoy from a busy bridge.

I'm calming down about the green eyed monster mummies. The DH wants to ban them from the house warming but as it's my 60th too so I might not get away with that.
I did fancy getting a gold land rover to wind them up
I did it with an old banger of a gold jag once. Picked the DD up from school shouting her nickname in my best Camila voice (aka Rupert Everett as the head mistress in frittons gold). I had on a headscarf and peals. It cheered her up no end after a bout of bullying.
Her local friends still talk about the bling.

I'm doing a breakfast for the BFF if she turns up. My stomach is in need.

Keep the strength ladies.

Good morning shipmates, love and solidarity to you all from me and Sid.

Had a bit of a result at Slimming World last night. Listening to others, it struck home how many empty calories there are in booze. One of my fellow members has left to go down the weight-loss injections route because he didn't want to give up the drinking that was piling on the pounds. It made me very sad, but determined afresh to stay AF.

Sid has been beset by ticks in the last day or two. Little gits. I did manage to get them off him this morning though, and walking the tiny plank we have set up for all parasitic miscreants on the aft-deck.

Sid had a ride in a gold 4x4 once @WendyWagon, which he very much enjoyed. It was a high point for him during a day on which he did not otherwise cover himself in glory, however, so it is never mentioned between us. Good luck with the BFF.

Strength and courage. It will be OK. xx

! Thank you for the kind words. rep22 yes FIL is beginning to get forgetful which is frustrating for all of us, including him. He has bought a little house nearby so I need to get him unpacked and into it.
thanknkyou mags! I’m very wierdedout because I started around the same time as you rep22 I really need to BELIEVE that I can’t just have a glass. I’m still lying to myself.
thanks for the spreadsheet and app ideas! I do love an excuse to pull out the felt tips.
day 2 done and dusted!

Ticks are abominable creatures, @REP22, and Sid has all my sympathy if he has suffered the indignity of hosting the blighters. My late dog was a Labradoodle, and his hirsuteness (is that a word?) meant that he was beset by them on a regular basis. My husband perfected a technique which involved matches burning them out without hurting the dog. I can't remember what it involved (and never took part in the ritual) but can ask him what he did when I next see him (on Friday) if you like?

@REP22 My sympathies to Sid. I hate those little critters! I had a tick on my ankle once and I was terrified! (I once met someone who'd suffered dreadful consequences of a tick bite.) Luckily, I was with somebody who knew exactly what to do to remove it safely - and that didn't involve matches!

@REP22 is M your mother? I’ve long said that that my DDs ultimate act of rebellion would be to become an evangelical Christian vegan. I really would struggle with both of those!!

@EastCoastDamsel many congratulations!

I went to a pub at the weekend for the first time since going AF. Had an AF beer. It was fine. I coped. I was running an event at work last night and some of the wine had been kicking about our office for months and some had come from the catering team. I felt duty bound to taste the white to check it was ok, but I found a willing Guinea pig instead 👌.

Morning All! It's Day 35 for me today - that's 5 whole weeks. I can barely believe it. I used the half bottle of Sauvignon Blanc that had been lurking in the fridge to make coq au vin blanc. I caught a whiff of it as I poured it out and quickly stopped breathing as I didn't want to be reminded of that smell in case it tempted me back. Then I boiled it off really hard to make sure it was 'dead'! The end result was fine and didn't start me drinking again. There's still two full bottles under the stairs but I'll save them for guests. I've not decided what my next goal should be - 40 days? 6 weeks? 2 months?

Ahoy inspirational crew,
I will not drink today.

Challenging changes are so much easier when focusing on what you gain rather lost.

Sending the return of the sunshine.
Throw love at yourself.
🪻🌷🌼🌻🌺🌹🌸

Ahoy shipmates.
Late up as I went back to sleep.

This was something I couldn't do as a drinker. I can now sleep anywhere.

Hello shipmates. Sid thanks you for the sympathy on the ticks. Some top strength stuff has been procured from the vets to mitigate against the wee blighters. Thanks for the tips (I used to know a similar trick to the match tactic, but with a cigarette, works well, but tweezers are my ally (or tick removers, hehe)).

Yes, @SmellyMe, M is my mum. I shall hope that your fears do not come true 😉

@Healthynow - I hope things don't get too stressful with your FiL, it's good that he's not actually living with you in your house. That very rarely ends well. I hope you are able to set boundaries on what you will and will not do as his age and needs progress. You can't set yourself on fire to keep anther person warm. The Cockroach Cafe thread on MN is a useful and friendly space, if you ever need it.

WFH today as Sid and I are awaiting the gas man for our annual inspection - a high point in Sid's social calendar. He always inspects Sid more than the boiler, hehe.

Strength and courage. We can do this. xx

Hello all,

11 days AF today. Doesn’t seem that much but not done double digits since was pregnant with DD and she’s now 24. Managed to sit and watch last nights race round the world this evening without having a drink even crossing my mind. It’s the first time I’ve been able to do that as evenings infront of the TV and a good bottle of Merlot went hand in hand. Poor DH has been dragged round shops, up hills and for long drives every evening to avoid the TV so tonight was a small step.
In less positive news have still been feeling unwell with stomach issues, so much so and it’s been going on for so long have been red flag referred by GP for a gastroscopy. Won’t lie - very scared but not going to go to the usual go to of wine to calm me down. Long bath and a chamomile tea going on here this evening.

Enjoy the rest of your evening all whatever you’re up to.

@sugarplummy142 - it IS a lot - these first 11 days are the hardest you will do. Well done for pushing through.

Sorry to hear the stomach issues are ongoing - but with these things it’s always better to know what’s going on, rather than trying to ignore it

Morning all.
Still raining here.

Fridays were
always a challenge but less so now as my work is home based. I get myself to bed early to watch HIGNFY. I could never have booze in the bedroom so I have NEOM instead.

Final bids on the farmhouse today. We should have a decision at COP.

🤞🏼 @WendyWagon

Good luck @WendyWagon. Everything crossed for you

I know HIGNFY, but what's NEOM and COP? Good luck, @WendyWagon

Ahoy inspirational ships company on the good ship Sobriety.
I will not drink today.

Nurture your own happiness first.

Sending spring sunshine and time to appreciate nature.
🐝🌞

Love a Neom candle @WendyWagon, and I'm still loving my Neom diffuser especially the sleep essential oil.
Good luck with the cottage.

@sugarplummy142 well done on 11days, every milestone should be marked and celebrated. Hope your stomach issues are resolved, we're here for you 😘

I think COP is "close of play" @LillyPJ (someone please correct me if I'm wrong).

Sid and I are keeping everything that's legal crossed for you @WendyWagon.

Sid has been to the vet for his annual check-up this morning. He has to be sedated beforehand (which I HATE doing) - he loves the vet but has an utter meltdown at the sight of a needle. Fortunately he is very forgiving; not a shred of malice in him. He is in excellent health, hurrah, and b~st~rd-strength tick meds have been procured. Now he's lying at my feet, still smacked off his t~ts, muttering and humming to himself.

Strength and courage. It will be alright. x

@LillyPJ close of play and Neom is a brand of home fragrances. Very lovely and soothing.

Well lads I've just been approached to do some work for a women's club. It does training courses. I love a training course. It's for entrepreneurs and corporations. It's sounds great and not too expensive. We'll see.