The support thread for anyone trying to live an alcohol free life. Spring 2025.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome.
These threads were started by drybird in 2020 and have gone on to support many people to give up alcohol and live a sober life.
We are not a moderarion thread and only encourage sobriety. There is another long running thread if that's what you feel is right for you. Lots of support there.
We have newbies and veterans, some who have 5+ years under their belts.
We share life's up and downs (often why we drank) and no question is too silly.
Personally I gave up drinking three years ago. It's the hardest thing I've done and the best thing.
We call our selves sober sisters and even have a mascot, Sid the ship's dog.
He poses often for a cheer up picture.
We're not here to judge, just offer support and friendship.
It gets better I promise.

Morning all

One year AF today!

I have had an interesting weekend emotionally.

I feel calmer (generally), less anxious, and more on top of things.i never have to worry about what I might have said or done the night before. I am fitter and lighter than I was this time last year. I feel really pound of myself. Not just for not drinking, but for other achievements, whereas my life before I was ashamed of who I was, how I spoke, how I looked etc.

I don't want to drink.

But I also realise there is so much more work to do. Especially around learning what I am actually feeling and understanding myself.

Morning All! Day 32 today. Almost 5 weeks, or nearly a third of a 100 days (I'm doing a lot of counting in my head!) I'm realising just how much time I wasted on drinking. By mid-afternoon I'd be checking the clock, waiting for 6pm. Sometimes I'd have the glass poured out and ready to go as soon as the clock struck 6. And then the evening disappeared. Just two or three glasses, dinner, bit of telly... Never really drunk, just relaxed, a bit blurry, feeling tired, early night - followed by a terrible night's sleep! So I've regained about 5 hours a day plus a clearer head and more energy. It's all good.

Oh @WendyWagon , ' stay in lane' words like 'f off' come to mind. Try not to take it personally, you're good at your job,and some people feel inferior, especially with change. The cottage news sounds great.

Thank you for your comments about my post the other day @Healthynow. It sounds like a horrendous situation to be in with you FIL /son,and you. I'm afraid I don't have much to offer but support, but I think @REP22 is right concerning dementia.

Well done @LillyPJ on passing weeks. Are you settling into a new routine?

Getting past 7 days is the one of the biggest obstacles in the quest for Bunnies Bunnies Bunnies 🐰 🐰🐰@sugarplummy142 .welcome.

I agree @Healthynow 🌸🪷🏵🌹🌺🌻🌼🌷🪻 💕

Congratulations @EastCoastDamsel ! 👏👏👏👏
One year is a tremendous milestone- you should be very proud of yourself x
And I completely agree that there is still so much to learn- we are a work in progress, as @WendyWagon often says!

Catharine Gray’s Sunshine Warm Sober is a really good read on doing the work, if you haven’t read it already.

Thank you @Onewildandpreciouslife . I need a new audiobook for long runs. So will give Catherine Gray a go. I enjoyed bit didn't LOVE The Unexpected Joy.

Morning all.

Fab u lous @EastCoastDamsel I'm so pleased for you.
Veteran status now.

My friends with the green eyed monster syndrome continues....

Good morning shipmates. Congratulations on the one year @EastCoastDamsel - that's epic. And also to everyone for their achievements. Victories hard-won and precious.

Welcome @sugarplummy142 - glad you've found us.

@mermadeincornwall - Sid is always happy to help with his advice. Most of his expertise is chop- and gravy-based, but he's always enthusiastic in his efforts to help, hehe.

@WendyWagon - "stay in lane"?! That sounds like man-speak for "I know you're smarter than I am and I'm threatened by this". All power to you.

Arrived to a bizarrely deserted office this morning. All very peculiar.

Strength and courage, good fellows. All shall be well. xx

@EastCoastDamsel - congratulations, that is an amazing achievement. Am not quite as far on as you but I agree the calmness and lack of regret is amazing.

Thank you everyone for this great thread.

Congratulations @EastCoastDamsel ! That's a great achievement! I agree about The Unexpected Joy - ok but didn't love it. I'm enjoying Clare Pooley's The Sober Diaries more. And thanks @mermadeincornwall My new routine is quite similar to my old one really. I'll usually sit down with a drink sometime after 6 - but in the bad old days it was never later than 6.02 or 6.03! Now it can be gone 7.30 before I remember. And the other difference is that now when I've eaten my dinner, I do other things instead of vegetating. I've also discovered that I love tonic water so I'm enjoying trying out various flavours of that. Finding new drinks is one upside of not having my precious Sauvignon Blanc to fall back on.

Woo hoo @EastCoastDamsel - that’s fabulous! I hit 9 months last week, and agree with @LillyPJ - there seem to be a lot more hours in the day. Partly because I’m not passed out on the sofa for half of it, and partly because I’ve discovered that even I don’t need to arrange my day around shit TV - funny how the Real Housewives are less compelling sober 😂 And my house is clean now I can actually see - and care about - the dust and dog hair!

I’m going to try Recovery Dharma as well as AA. They do online meetings, and I got quite into it when I was in Thailand. We shall see - it might go the way of the sourdough, which never actually materialised…

Today I shall not drink and enjoy the peace I currently have. Happy sober Monday everyone 😀

Evening, chums.

CONGRATULATIONS, @EastCoastDamsel!!! A year is a huge achievement.

Well done to you too, @FaithHopeCarnage. I too found that my house became more important to me when I was 'available' to enjoy it. It's nothing fancy, but I've spent a lot of time and money I would have spent on wine (and 'eating out' to give me an excuse to drink wine) on making it thee way I want it. I've enjoyed doing it, and I love being there now.

I agree with the others @WendyWagon, that comments like that are insidious and should be ignored or bounced right back. Your lane is the fast lane, and anyone wanting to slow your progress needs to wind his neck in (I'm assuming it's a he?)

Love to Sid, @REP22. I trust he is enjoying the weather and that his tail is awag?

@EastCoastDamsel Congratulations on one year! That’s fantastic. Hi to @sugarplummy142- as others have said this is a wonderful group of women, you’ll get so much support here.

Today is 10 days for me. I’ve been away visiting family, eating out and going for drinks but I’ve stayed alcohol free and it’s been fairly easy. Only once have I had any urge to drink and that passed fairly quickly. It’s helped that we’re somewhere were many places have a range of alcohol free options and Lucky Saint is on tap in most pubs.

Mood wise I’m not at my best, struggling with anxiety and feeling emotionally overwhelmed. I know it’ll pass but this bit is horrible.

@MagsMagnolia Well done! It sounds like you're coping really well. Those early days aren't easy. I was up one minute and down the next and kept crying for no reason - it just seemed strange. But the support in here kept me going, plus finding a few AF drinks I really liked (especially Martini Floreali with tonic - even though I wasn't bothered about Martini when I drank). It is a bit of a cliché but it really is just one day at a time, one after the other. And you've already proved ten times over that you can do one day! I hope the anxiety etc eases off soon.

Morning all.
I’m massively aware of my thoughts and reframing them as more positive.
It’s important to remember how
far I’ve come and how much better I am. Emotions are interesting because I had tried to suppress them (with alcohol) for as long as I can remember and now I am having to deal with them.

It all beats feeling crap after alcohol though. It beats the shame and embarrassment of
my behaviour.

Happy Tuesday

Ahoy magnificent sober shipmates.
I will not drink today.

"Peace is not a distant goal that we seek,but a means by which we arrive at that goal " Martin Luther King.

Hope everyone can find some peace today.

1 year is fabulous @EastCoastDamsel, well done.
Thank you for your inspirational post too.😍

Morning all.

A better sleep for me as I was quite poorly yesterday evening.

Morning all. I’ll catch up with the posts later, but this is to get myself on track again. What with everyone dumping their problems on me, a poor excuse I know, but I’m afraid I hit the wine for the last couple of nights, so I’m back in the grey field having not kept on over the obstacle course..again.
so if it’s ok I’ll start again. I’m so proud for all of you that have done wonders, and a little ashamed of myself, but it’s good - I’ve been telling myself all the excuses, now I really have to tell myself some truths.
maybe I should count the days like you mags and lily I could certainly do with more hours in the day - I’m useless after 4 pm.
im looking forward to reading all your posts later today.
so, day 1 IWNDWYT.

@Healthynow I find the TryDry app really helpful. It's encouraging to see the days mounting up, how much money you've saved, how the average units per day over the last month are going down etc. You can also set yourself little goals (my next is to get to 5 weeks) and that helps too. I'd never thought of counting the days before I found this thread but now I can't imagine not counting. When you're aiming for Day 35 or 10 weeks or the magical Day 100, you don't have to think about that daunting 'forever'.

@EastCoastDamselThat’s an amazing achievement. Huge congratulations! I’ll bet you feel fantastic and so proud of yourself 🎉❤️🎉❤️

Good morning shipmates, very rainy here this morning but I rejoice in it - it is much-needed. Sid is less enchanted, though it will mean easier swabbing of the upper decks at last. His tail is readily awag @ShyMaryEllen - hope yours is too, and that you're doing OK.❤️

Sorry you've had a grim night @WendyWagon - I was back on the odd dreams again last night. M is not being easy currently. Boxes and boxes of religious books delivered to her house last night (9.30pm) and carried upstairs immediately by her to be hidden from my sight. This does not bode well. I smile and say nothing. It's massively triggering for me for a number of ways, but I shall not bend. Not this time, Sid is with me.

Keep going @Healthynow - it will get better. You're still on here, still posting, still trying. That's the main thing. We're with you.

Strength and courage. We can do this. xx

@LillyPJdon't be too hard on yourself, I think we’ve all had multiple day one’s. Just stick with it and be patient. I’ve found counting days is the only way to be consistent - there’s a real sense of accomplishment as the days build up and when the cravings kick in, knowing exactly how far you’ve come can really help you to walk away from that bottle. Sending strength and positivity to you 💪🏼

@MagsMagnolia Thanks - but I think you replied to the wrong person. I'm on Day 33 and haven't slipped yet. Still, it's nice to know that even if I did, I'd still get support and encouragement on here,so thanks anyway.

You’re right - it’s @HealthynowI meant to reply to 🤦🏻‍♀️