The support thread for anyone trying to live an alcohol free life. Spring 2025.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome.
These threads were started by drybird in 2020 and have gone on to support many people to give up alcohol and live a sober life.
We are not a moderarion thread and only encourage sobriety. There is another long running thread if that's what you feel is right for you. Lots of support there.
We have newbies and veterans, some who have 5+ years under their belts.
We share life's up and downs (often why we drank) and no question is too silly.
Personally I gave up drinking three years ago. It's the hardest thing I've done and the best thing.
We call our selves sober sisters and even have a mascot, Sid the ship's dog.
He poses often for a cheer up picture.
We're not here to judge, just offer support and friendship.
It gets better I promise.

Good morning shipmates.

That sounds really challenging @Healthynow but you managed it really well. No need to reply if you don't want to, and forgive my impertinence for asking, but is there dementia in the mix with your FiL? You mention that he's repeating tales to you. What's your DH's long-term strategy? There may be some external support you could access. My case would be that your DS is the most important one here and he (and you) should not have to suffer. A close friend moved her elderly mum in with her and her family (to a "granny annexe") and it was grim - M would appear at random times, including when they had company, not always fully dressed, and could become very aggressive. It wasn't her fault, she couldn't help it, but it was really hard. Sending you love and strength. 💐

Dentist for me today. I hate it. But teeth are useful and the dentist likes Sid, so off I will go.

Strength and courage my friends. x

Day 29 for me now so I'm past the 4 week mark. I think it's going ok but annoyingly, I've woken up with a headache the past 3 mornings! No idea why. Don't think it can be related to no alcohol. Good luck at the dentist's @REP. It'll soon be over and think of the relief then!

Thanks @LillyPJ - off in a little bit! Sorry to hear about the headaches. I get them from time to time, often related to the weather. Hope you're on the mend soon. xx

Back safe, £65 lighter and with a filling booked for next week - booo! But apart from that he said gums and all soft tissue looked healthy. Always a concern when brushing up against such things as I fear consequences from drinkings past catching up with me, even now.

Back safe and in time to prevent Sid relieving my M of a pack of chops while she was unloading her shopping. Miscreant Sid barks that he's not speaking to me now because of that. I pointed out to him that he had just spoken to me in order to tell me that. He's now headed down to the lower decks for his Cabin Boy duties (aka playing poker with the rats in the hold). He gave me a mutinous look before heading out. Be on the watch for piracy... 🏴‍☠️😉

Strength and courage. xx

Morning sober sisters on the good ship Sobriety.
I will not drink today.

Live in the moment more,overthink less.
@REP22 please ask cabin by Sid for advice.

Sending kind thoughts and calmness.

Ha Sid does look cross 🤣
Have a lovely sober weekend all x

Well, looky here…👀
One whole week 😁

Congratulations @MagsMagnolia ! Keep up the good work!

Morning All! Day 30 for me today. Day 100 is creeping closer and doesn't seem as impossible as it once did. I got on the scales this morning, not expecting any change - I've been eating more biscuits than I used to and the stuff I've been drinking instead of wine hasn't been low-calorie or sugar-free. Even so, I'm 3 pounds down! I've still got half a bottle of wine in the fridge. I hate waste so am thinking of making coq au vin with it. I don't think eating that would send me back to the bottle. What do you think?

Amazing @LillyPJ. I’m not sure tbh - I don’t think it would trigger me but I haven’t been in that situation yet. I think personally I might try to avoid it in food too for a while.
Have a lovely weekend everyone x

Morning all.

I don't think 'cooked out' alcohol in food is an issue. I tend not to use it due to the DDs sensitivity.

We visited the original farmhouse yesterday and the DH loves it. We can have electric gates and have a 'keep off my land' notice (just kidding but the DH likes space).
Now to sit on our hands for just over a week until the big meeting.

I went to a breakfast yesterday and got subject to rude comments. Two women still playing competitive mum twenty six years on I'd like to tell them to mind their own f*'king business. Again I need new friends!

@WendyWagon Oooh - electric gates! That would be brilliant. Not quite the same, but I've got an electric awning and it seems like magic when I press the button and it slowly comes out. Very satisfying!

@WendyWagon just thank you for the opportunity to read all this and know that there’s so many others like me.

I’m only on day 6 after 20 years of ramping up from weekend drinking to a bottle of wine a night in the last six months since my dad passed away - well to be honest it was nearly every night in the last two years of his awful illness.

The shame of sitting infront of the 20 something GP telling me that I’ve probably got gastritis due to the drinking was terrible.

Today’s been a struggle, felt sick and anxious all day. Don’t know if it’s the gastritis, stopping drinking or the general anxiety I’ve had every day since I lost my dad but it’s been overwhelming. BUT I’ve found you all…..

@sugarplummy142 welcome. Six days is a huge achievement after twenty years of solid drinking.
My troubles started after my mum died in 2004 and I finally gave up in January 2022. When my dad was ill for three years I was at my worst. Grief, shock and fear.
If I was a time lord I would have turned back time and sort help. My GP didn't think 4 bottles a week was that bad (it was really 7!😬). If someone had sat me down and given me a good talking to it might have worked. I'm a 'I'll show you' type of person.
We live in the country and there is a culture of wine o'clock amongst the bored mummies. These people are now 50+ and a lot still drink heavily. On the surface there's nothing much to do.

Being sober will give you freedom, better health and hopefully better relationships. It really is worth it.

Hello, @sugarplummy142 ! Glad you found this thread - it's really helped me just to know there are others out there. It's dreadful how the drinking creeps up on you. I suddenly realised that I was drinking nearly a bottle EVERY night - without fail. It started maybe 20 years ago with just an occasional small glass. I've known for years I had to stop but there was always a reason not to. I'm determined to persevere this time.

Welcome @sugarplummy142 - I’m so glad you’ve found us. I posted on your thread.

My relationship with alcohol went from fairly unhealthy to disastrous- I had a really awful 3 years with cancer and a mother with dementia among other stresses, and drinking was the only way I could cope. I realised I had to make a change, read lots of “quit lit” and found these wonderful women, and I am now 3 years sober.

The early days are really hard, but it is so worth pushing through - freedom awaits!

@Onewildandpreciouslifethank you for your support on my thread. It’s taken me until today to work out how to reply to peoples individual comments so apologies for the previous radio silence. I’m so not techy! 3 years is amazing, absolutely well done. My DD gets married in 2.5 years, the thought of being there and being present and sober there is what’s keeping me going at this.

@LillyPJ thank you - you sound just like I’ve been for years. Always a reason not to stop but enough is enough now. The thought of Friday and Saturday sober was horrendous but it’s not been as bad as the thought of it.

@WendyWagonthank you and thank you again for this thread. I’m determined to do this. I know my dad would want me to and I’m going to get there for him.

Welcome sugarplummythis is a fab thread. magsmagnolia thank you for posting the one week thing.its reassuring because it’s ‘just’ 7 days. Sometimes it’s daunting because I know if I’d been cleverer earlier, I’d be celebrating several years af too. I’ve been wanting to give up for years and never managed. I do actually wonder if I have a DH and DH family that are so catastrophic they pull me into their drama and then I’m so stressed I can’t cope, and I drink.
Like tonight, we actually managed to get FIL out of the house to see friends and actually got DS down to watch a film- he won’t hang out if FIL is around which is always...and freaking MIL called a million times.😳grrr. We were watching mission impossible. I want to be tom cruise and ride motorbikes and jump off cliffs not be an old drunk mum feeling suffocated by her in laws.
anyway welcome everybody who is doing better than me. I’ll do better tomorrow.

Morning all. I'm up with the sparrows.

I've been feeling a bit upset due to some pretty nasty comments re 'staying in my lane'. The company restructure is going to make a huge difference to us. Sadly some people don't like it.
In days gone by I would have consoled myself with wine, lots of it. I didn't go out yesterday, too risky even after three and a half years.
However I have been playing house and the DH and I agree on the posh farmhouse not the renovation project. I'll get everything in including all my furniture currently stored in the garage!
Hopefully it will keep me busy. I've always been a people pleaser and I need to stop.

Ahoy inspirational ships company.
I will not drink today.

Lately I've been doing a challenge.
Recall ten moments ( yes ten ) in your life that filled you with joy, or made you laugh hysterically. Try to think outside the box.
One of mine is belly laughing with my friend in Clarks when we couldn't zip up a boot over my fat calves.
Another was chilling with my then teenage daughter in the garden. I could see the beautiful woman, inside and out, that she'd become.

Sending sunshine and the strength stay safe and sober.

Ps I'm looking forward to catching up with you all on this thread, love hearing your news.

@mermadeincornwall I had a similar moment in Sahara when a billowy linen dress looked like a deckchair!
The BFF and I were laughing our socks off.

Morning fabulous crewmates.
I will not drink today.

Still working on ten moments.
It's harder than it seems, but filling me with laughter and gratitude. Which is the point.

Stay safe and sober.
Sending solidarity in soberity.