The support thread for anyone trying to live an alcohol free life. Spring 2025.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome.
These threads were started by drybird in 2020 and have gone on to support many people to give up alcohol and live a sober life.
We are not a moderarion thread and only encourage sobriety. There is another long running thread if that's what you feel is right for you. Lots of support there.
We have newbies and veterans, some who have 5+ years under their belts.
We share life's up and downs (often why we drank) and no question is too silly.
Personally I gave up drinking three years ago. It's the hardest thing I've done and the best thing.
We call our selves sober sisters and even have a mascot, Sid the ship's dog.
He poses often for a cheer up picture.
We're not here to judge, just offer support and friendship.
It gets better I promise.

Thank you all! You are so supportive, it’s really appreciated.
faithhopeand carnage thanks! I’ll listen to insight timer. I also like the ultimate mindset change podcast. He’s a bit of a geek which appeals.
I’m mean and prickly! But I’ve had to change now I don’t have alcohol to shape me. is such a great phrase. I’ve just had myself described to me by someone- I don’t recognize their description of me at all, and the ground has fallen away, it’s like im speaking Swahili.,so mind blown, I have to adjust my view of me- or do I? The person is fairly narcissistic according to therapist. I’ll dance to that Johnny Lyndon song I think! Or maybe some angry weeding!
onewildandpreciouslife like magsmagnolia (well done in the sitting with feelings malarkey) I pay £60 I go once a week, and have done for a while - but I thought it was an investment in me. I also couldn’t go on thinking how I was. She kindly dropped her price a bit when I asked, maybe worth a try?
it has helped, mad things like not drinking for a week and then feeling scared of not drinking. Stuff I’m sure we all go through I guess. Pay for someone experienced though.
I find chat gpt surprisingly helpful! It will often suggest what the therapist said, but I think you need a therapist to get it to stick. I imagine the trouble with sessions that are far apart is that you forget in between them. I would suggest taking notes/recording, writing the salient points and journaling about them every day. And reaffirming with chat gpt.Otherwise it’s a bit turning up then carrying on with life and just forgetting what was said.
thank you pressuretofundaname just your offering to listen is really helpful.
Yore certainly not a hippy! I’ve currently given up on trying to work and am appreciating being under the electric throw thinking that’s wise words, lilypj and will put that and you all in my gratitude diary 🩷
Thank you so much.

Morning all.

@Onewildandpreciouslife i did 6/7 months at £50 per week. It was cheaper than my booze / shoe habit.

I'm off to see inside the farmhouse today. The DH has gone pale but I have a cunning plan.

Ahoy wonderful shipmates on the good ship Sobriety
I will not drink today.

To change your life you need to change your story. How you talk to yourself is bedrock to everything that follows.

Sending solidarity to all those in pursuit of improving their lives.
Stay safe and sober.

Morning shipmates.
wendy your cunning plan cheered me up and mermaid I love your daily wisdom. I will write it out and refer to it throughout the day, if that’s ok.
🌷🌺🌸🌼🌻 flower emojis, because they are fab.
IWNDWYT 🩷

@mermadeincornwall Wise words! How you talk to yourself is so important. It's taken me over 60 years to learn that (and I'm still learning). I don't have to listen to that voice telling me 'just one won't hurt'. I don't have to be fooled by all those adverts showing young, beautiful people drinking on a yacht. I don't have to drink to relax or have fun. I am worth looking after. I am good enough already. I don't need a drink to make me better.

Good morning shipmates,

I love a cunning plan @WendyWagon - hope all goes well down at the farmhouse!

Sid has been a bit quiet of late - I think he overdid it at cricket on Sunday - lots of people coming around the boundary for him to cuddle. He sends hearty love to you all. Here he is, enjoying a chew in the sunshine...

Strength and courage my brave friends. x

Morning beautiful sober sisters.
I will not drink today.

Thinking positively is only half the answer, doing positively is the other half.( Dr. Julie Smith.)

Sending the strength to stay safe and sober.

Morning all
safe and sober it is

Morning all.

Well my mind is a jumbled mess. The farmhouse needs serious work so I am comparing it to a very similar farmhouse in the next village (good order) that I saw in 2023. It's back up for sale. The DH hates work. Both have downstairs bedrooms for my old age!

I'm having a day in today. Big meeting tomorrow and I'm feeling anxious.

Good morning shipmates,

Safe and sober also. Hope you have a restful day in @WendyWagon - will keep everything crossed for you tomorrow.

Strength and courage. xx

Morning all. Moving into day 6 today - very nearly a week!

Some of you may remember that last time I was here I was thinking about coming off anti-anxiety meds that I'd been taking for a long time. Pretty much everyone on here advised against it but...I stopped them anyway 🙄
Well, I've gone back on them this morning. I could feel my mood getting lower and my irritation at things growing. Also, the old obsessive anxiety was starting to creep in again - suddenly started worrying about DS@'s student loan and just couldn't shake it. So I'm back on it and probably have to accept that I'll be on it for life. Sounds very depressing but I'm actually feeling relatively positive 🙂
Strength and hugs to all 💪🤗

Top stuff on day 6 @MagsMagnolia that's brilliant. I take prescription anti-depressants and have done for most of my adult life. There have been times over the years when the GP has suggested reducing the dose or similar. Sadly that has never ended well. So I, too, am resigned to the fact that it will be with me for the rest of my days. And I am happy about that (well, not leaping for joy, but you know what I mean...!). The alternative is very much not good and I am grateful that I have the medication (and ready access to it) that can help me live a normal life. Far worse things in life than that. Hope it helps and you have lots of happier days ahead of you. 🙂 xx

Help! I’ve come to a complete halt as everything is too much. My DH is out tonight so I have my teen son and DH father in law who is staying with us. I can’t face a forced dinner with the pair of them. Teen son is quiet and I - am so fed up with FIL- he’s been here since September, and don’t know what to do or how to cope. Ideas please!

You can do this @Healthynow . Don’t let your brain use this as an excuse for another day 1.

Can you break the evening down into chunks and plan for each? We can cope with anything for 10 minutes- just view it as a succession of 10 minute slots. And have a vision of how you want to end the night - sober, in bed, with a book. Go to bed as early as you need to once you’ve eaten. Good luck!

Hope you're doing okay @Healthynow!

@Healthynow Can you escape and go and have a bath? Listen to music on headphones? Go out for a walk or to get chips? Sometimes just doing something - anything at all - can nudge you along for a bit until you get past that bump. I hope you will be okay. We're on your side!

@Healthynow find a film you can all watch. Something bang bang, boys stuff. Suck it up for tonight. I do this with the DD. She's likes off the wall crime.

Thank you so much guys.
In the end i deliberately didn’t tell FIL dinner was ready so I could have time with my son, who disparaged my cooking and then ran off to his room as soon as I mentioned FIL. I did suggest snuggling with a film but nope, he doesn’t know what film. Then I let FIL know dinner was ready and he told me all about his life yet again.🙄
Good job I have an iPad, and a bed room.
sorry, bit over this!

Thank you for being there! I am really grateful 💐💐

@Healthynow Well done! Glad you survived it.

But...you got through it! That's fantastic, as personally I find tense social situations so uncomfortable. It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking wine will ease things up a bit. Top job @Healthynow

And thanks@REP22 💐

Morning all.

Big business meeting today. I'm then off out for brunch and house viewings.
Second farmhouse in the running. Less work and well-established village.
Both houses have offers on them so we will see.

@Healthynow well done keeping away from the siren song.

Well done @Healthynow!
Good luck @WendyWagon

Morning fabulous crewmates.
I will not drink today.

Positive thinking is easier said than done. I find that whole concept can be a bit insulting and belittling to be honest. It's alot more ccomplicated. However, being proactive and having a positive attitude does help enormously. It takes alot of hard work ,dedication and consistency to rewrite those nural pathways.

Sending sunshine and lifeboats.
Stay safe and sober.

Great work @Healthynow !

Hope the meeting goes well @WendyWagon