The support thread for anyone trying to live an alcohol free life. Spring 2025.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome.
These threads were started by drybird in 2020 and have gone on to support many people to give up alcohol and live a sober life.
We are not a moderarion thread and only encourage sobriety. There is another long running thread if that's what you feel is right for you. Lots of support there.
We have newbies and veterans, some who have 5+ years under their belts.
We share life's up and downs (often why we drank) and no question is too silly.
Personally I gave up drinking three years ago. It's the hardest thing I've done and the best thing.
We call our selves sober sisters and even have a mascot, Sid the ship's dog.
He poses often for a cheer up picture.
We're not here to judge, just offer support and friendship.
It gets better I promise.

Day 22 successfully done and dusted! The spa was a real treat and the rest of the day flew by. I got by with AF beer for the pre-dinner drinks. After dinner we had a farewell party and when the free wine was handed out, I just smiled and said, 'No thanks' - and that was it! Only one person suggested I have just a little bit (again, no thanks) and only one person asked me why. I just shrugged it off and said I didn't feel like it. So unless I suddenly succumb to Cava at breakfast (I won't) the AF holiday has been a complete success. Next challenge will be facing the old familiar surroundings but changing my routines. I'm now aiming at completing a whole month.

Morning beautiful sober sisters.
I will not drink today.

You only get out what you put in.

Sending serenity and kindness.

Good morning shipmates and Sid.

Poor weather here. A little bit windy too.

I noticed Ocado has some new AF wine. I shall order and report back.

Thanks, @WendyWagon I'll be interested to know what you think. I never did find an acceptable AF wine.

Morning all.

Waking up sober is the best thing ever. No convincing myself that my behaviour was fine last night, I was just me!

I just love the bumpy but hopeful journey I’m on. I’m actually working out who I am for the first time. It’s a very brave step but essential.

It’s raining here, which is so needed even though I love the sunshine 🌞

@LillyPJ well done on your AF holiday, you have navigated significant obstacles and should be very proud of yourself.

Good morning all, day 6 here.

So far so good and some interesting realisations going on - i'm realising how much I'd fit my plans around booze or no booze - today we are meeting the in-laws at RHS garden, normally I'd stay local so I could walk and have a glass of wine. I realise how much I'd closed my world up due to things like that. It's liberating. Also seems so silly now that my desire for a glass of wine was stronger than a whole days plans. I also am seeing the money saved add up so am treating myself to a big cleaning session which I can't wait for ❤️

Amazing @LillyPJ that is truly inspiring! I'm glad it went well. And much more refreshing to do a spa sober.

I'd be very interested @WendyWagon , I've so far been disappointed by most AF wine especially the red 🤢 but I have a wild idol bottle I'm saving for my birthday as it's very pricey..I have a bottle of the Waitrose sparkling tea for later, I'll let you all know.

Hope all have a lovely booze free bank holiday! 🌷❤️

Day 8 again here after a two day blip last week. I cannot believe how much more productive I am when I wake up without even a hint of a hangover and how much time I have wasted.

I also know that I use alcohol to save me from having to deal with the harsh realities of life. At this point, DD's marriage is failing, DH is having investigations for prostate cancer and we have two funerals in the diary already and a third to come, a young woman whose alcohol dependency killed her before she reached 40.

Pushing through to Day 9. IWNDT

Here's to another day AF. Garden got some rain last night and the cats are playing out the back. The joys of just a normal day without a hangover.

Hugs to those who need them.

We are going to a 100th birthday party this afternoon. I'm assuming it will be AF, but who knows. What I do know is that I'll not make an idiot of myself whether wine is available or not.

This is great! My cultural awakening: a punk band told me quit drinking. So I did | Culture | The Guardian

Good afternoon shipmates, greetings from me and Sid.

Have just taken M out to big new branch of The Range that's opened locally. They were selling big bulk bags of Sizzlers, so Sid is a very happy little cabin boy today. He's a devil for a Sizzler.

Hope the AF wine is lush @WendyWagon. Enjoy the party @ShyMaryEllen - we recently lost a family friend at almost 102 - sharp as a pin until the very end and handy with his iPhone too. I don't think he touched a drop of alcohol in his entire life (he was Scottish, religious and had "taken the pledge").

Strength and courage my brave friends. It's going to be alright. xx

I'm home now after my excellent (and dry!) holiday. I'm now thinking maybe this will be the big test - back in familiar surroundings with all those reminders of the old drinking routines and none of the holiday distractions. Still, I have 23 days under my belt without alcohol and I don't want to undo all that hard work. By the way, twice on holiday we were given free drinks and the only alternative to alcohol was tap water - something needs to change!

Morning shipmates.
I'm up with the sparrows. Even Mr Tiggle has put himself back to bed.

I didn't get to the big shops yesterday so I haven't hunted down the AF grog. I'll see if the DH wants to go later.
I think we're measuring for bathrooms.

I'm off to see a farmhouse next week. I've lived in many. They do tend to have good ceiling heights. All of us are very tall. They have sold off the land but I don't think I want it anyway. I've still got plant fever!! A few chickens would do me.

Morning
Great article @taylorean , my DD aged 16 is experiencing her peers drinking down the park, with comments such as ‘you need.a drink on a Friday’ from one friend which I assume has been picked up from friend’s parents! DD prefers not to drink, she says she has more fun without, which is a joy to hear and long may it continue.

My sobriety has shown that I am anxious and fearful in most aspects of my life and I used to just white knuckle through days until I could have my alcohol reward, for getting through. Not a recommended way to live.

Socialing and sobriety is particularly tricky for me as it has highlighted my social anxiety. I don’t know what to say, but after a couple of drinks I could ramble on about all sorts. However, I probably haven’t been able to overcome the anxiety because I haven’t had the sober practice so now’s the time to face it head on.

Morning beautiful ladies sailing on the good ship Sobriety.
I will not drink today.

Practice makes perfect. I will keep investing in my mental health.

Sending serenity and gratitude for this this opportunity.
Throw love at yourself first.

Morning all.

Welcome back from your holiday @LillyPJ and well done for completing it sober! Yes, it might be a challenge carving a new normal at home, but we can do hard things!

I hear you on the social anxiety @Kindtomyself . I liken it to wild swimming- difficult when you first get in, then it’s wonderful- but you also need to recognise the right time to get out! I think when I was drinking I was probably quite dull - now I try to learn about other people. And of course, now I remember what they tell me! So when I see them again I can ask about it ..

We’re away this week and I’m spending a lot of time in pubs. First night my only option was a sad little bottle of Garden Seedlip - last night there was a full menu of mocktails, the full Pentire range (my favourite) plus Wild Idol by the glass. AF heaven! I wish there were somewhere that rated pubs etc by their AF offering!

Morning everyone, so lovely to read the chat and comments.
as as you are mentioning above it’s not just not drinking, there’s all manner of learning about yourself.its quite an interesting ride now I feel like I’m a teensy bit more settled in my seat on the good ship sobriety.

DH and I had A NIGHT AWAAY!!!!! In a hotel! Like propers! Was great to think of you all when the waiter tried to foster alcohol on us, and even said,‘here’s the fun lager, (to DH)..and the less fun one(af, to me) ‘ with a sympathetic grimace. I mean really!
annnd last night drank af lager in the pub while my mates downed wine. I’m so pleased! I reminded myself how shockingly bad cheap pub wine is, how expensive it is, and how I’d wake up with a clear head - all thought thanks to you guys! This is the most helpful thread so thank you.
have a wonderful Sunday. More housework for m, and I’m hoping to get into the garden.
it is SO NICE to wake feeling normal and not blurgh.
💐💐💐🩷🩷🩷

Ps thanks for the guardian article taylorean. That’s a brilliant tool in our toolbox - to rebel by not drinking. If only I’d known that when I was a teen

Morning, late check in this morning due to huge lie in : ) Sleeping much better now!!

@Healthynow that's a ridiculous comment from the waiter! Either got a problem himself, or thinking he'll get less of a tip off the cheaper drink...

I don't know where drinkers get off thinking they're more 'fun'... I heard of an AA group having a social, and the restaurant tried to slip a load of drinks on their bill because they were having such a top laugh, they thought they must be drunk and wouldn't notice... 😂

Oh god, yes the sleep! 25 days in, loving this! I used to get shakes in the morning - not so much withdrawal (though sometimes that, hem hem) - more, I think, that I was so chronically underslept that my body was whacking me with more than the normal amounts of cortisol to wake me up...

EVERYTHING works better off the booze! I still get flashpoints - fatigue and anxiety are my triggers - but the daft thing is, alcohol makes both those things worse... 🙄 I can see that anxiety's a trigger for a lot of us.

@NorthernDancer , I can see you've got a lot to deal with currently... and Day 9 is still so early... so I hope you can find time to really look after yourself - that's so sad about the young woman...

Let's all look after ourselves! Especially as it's a Bank Holiday, aka Drunk Holiday in the UK... 😆

@Healthynow Re inappropriate comments from bar staff - in the very recent past, when I asked for a glass of wine, the barman said, 'small, medium or normal?' It made me laugh then and I still think it's funny (because it's true?) but it just shows how ingrained our casual attitude to drinking is nowadays. If you see wineglasses in a museum, they're the size of thimbles on stems. Nowadays you can buy a wine glass big enough to hold a whole bottle. We're encouraged to drink, and to drink A LOT, at every turn. We're doing amazingly well to resist at all.

*edited to make sense

We really are doing well, @LillyPJ - just watching the weekend morning telly, it's wall-to-wall booze tastings, and the hokey jokes about it, booze, ha ha, booze, ha ha ha ha, fun-laffs... 🤦‍♀️

@CuddlesKovinsky Yes - we really are doing well! Like you, I slept well last night and it's lovely waking up feeling clear-headed. Another bonus - I went to the supermarket to re-stock after my holiday and was amazed how much cheaper my shopping was without 3 or 4 bottles of wine. Obviously, I knew what I was spending before but it's one of those things I just didn't want to admit to myself.