The support thread for anyone trying to live an alcohol free life. Spring 2025.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome.
These threads were started by drybird in 2020 and have gone on to support many people to give up alcohol and live a sober life.
We are not a moderarion thread and only encourage sobriety. There is another long running thread if that's what you feel is right for you. Lots of support there.
We have newbies and veterans, some who have 5+ years under their belts.
We share life's up and downs (often why we drank) and no question is too silly.
Personally I gave up drinking three years ago. It's the hardest thing I've done and the best thing.
We call our selves sober sisters and even have a mascot, Sid the ship's dog.
He poses often for a cheer up picture.
We're not here to judge, just offer support and friendship.
It gets better I promise.

Hi all, please can I join? I think I was actually on this thread back in 2020 and was sober for a year but then decided I could moderate 🤣 well.... I mean I sort of could but the moderate amount kept creeping up and up 🤣 I'm definitely pushing it. It's been niggling me lately and I know I was happier just saying that's it. I'm struggling to think ahead, I have an all inclusive holiday coming up and my brain is enjoying telling me to not bother giving up yet. But I've had enough, I am drinking more than I should and too often. So I'd like to be here to hold myself accountable but also to find people to keep me going.
I've only read a few pages so far but have been inspired by you all and enjoying the chat.
Thanks all ❤️

Look at Sid's face 😂. He's such an expressive little chap, which reminds me of my grandpuppy, who shares Sid's inability to hide his feelings. Frenchies and their relatives would be rubbish at poker, wouldn't they?

Can you tell us how he came to be the poster boy for watercress, @REP22? No worries if it's too outing.

@WendyWagon, your 'cottage' sounds fabulous, but I imagine it as more of a manor house than a two-up, two-down, which 'cottage' suggests.

I'm off to a wine and cheese party tonight #retro. In my case it will be a cheese party, which doesn't have the same ring to it, but hey ho. There will probably be tea on offer, which I will accept with a stoic smile.

Keep your collective chins up, shipmates - summer is coming, and with it long days and shorter nights, so maybe less of an inclination to close the curtains and sit in front of the fire with a drink. We'll get there.

I missed a page - the thread hadn't refreshed.

Small cottage or one with barns? I don't know - much would depend on why they are the same price. My daughter is house hunting and said last night that if she came into a lot of money (unlikely) she wasn't sure if she would buy a large house or a smaller one and make it lovely. I thought about it and said that at her age (30) she should go for the large one, but if I were in that position (also unlikely) I really couldn't be bothered with anything that needed work to make it habitable or keep it clean. I enter the Omaze draws, and often think I would rent out the outbuildings as writers' retreats, but in reality I would probably leave them to rot😀. I'm all about an easy life nowadays. We should probably downsize, but the thought of packing up and moving puts me right off, plus we are in the centre of a pleasant town, with access to transport and so on, so there doesn't seem much point in moving.

HTH😎😂

@Thepressuretofindaname welcome.

All inclusive holidays are the thing of nightmares to me but many of our number have managed to get out the other side AF. You'll be OK.

Thanks @WendyWagon I do actually have 60 days to get under my belt before so that hopefully should help - it felt more imminent 🤦🤣 and I was worrying about my consumption if I was drinking even before I decided it was time. So I'm hoping by then I'll feel so much better and be more able for it. I've managed to read the entire thread now and it's really inspired me to dig deep and go for it. I do know they do a lovely virgin Pina colada so I can indulge in that!
Looking forward to getting to know everyone
Day 1 done

@Thepressuretofindaname I'm on holiday at the moment. It's not all inclusive but the pressures to drink have been quite intense. I got through a difficult situation yesterday (jugs of beer freely passed round, everyone else getting merry) and it made me feel low at the time, but it really helped me today, as did all the support on here. Once again, we all ended up in a bar at lunchtime but I just stayed for a quick coffee then cheerfully went out for a walk along the beach - and it felt great! So Day 18 is successfully completed and I feel much happier now.

@LillyPJ in sorry that sounds hard! But good on you for getting through it, that's a powerful step forwards, you must feel really proud. Hope it gets easier and easier for you. I'm lucky because I'll be going with my husband who doesn't drink often and kids so no pressure from them.. however I have to get through the next few weeks first. Congratulations on 18 days, the hardest bit done! Enjoy the sunshine and the refreshed mornings x

Morning. I am 100 days sober today 👏. I am so grateful for this amazing thread. The support I have had to get here has been fantastic. Thank you all.

I’m such a better person without alcohol. It’s all connected to anxiety, at around 17 I discovered that alcohol took away my anxiety, having that relief was welcomed but it spiralled and I became a person I didn’t want to be. I am now learning who I am again and it’s quite a journey but I would much rather be here than trying to hide in a bottle. I am so much stronger than I thought I was and I am being kinder to myself.

Have a good day all

Congratulations @Kindtomyself!

Morning all! Day 2 today. Lovely waking up no hint of hangover and having had a decent night's sleep for the first time in ages ❤️ TIWDWY
Hope everyone has a good day :)

Many congratulations @Kindtomyself 👏👏👏

Well done on staying strong @LillyPJ you are doing so well under a lot of pressure.

Congratulations @Kindtomyself . It's a big milestone.

Welcome @Thepressuretofindaname 🙂

Sorry to hear you are struggling @Sortoutyourshit . Can you get some in person, IRL, help for the causes of our pain?

Not much to report on here, other than feeling very sorry for and simultaneously very irritated with the dog.

He is crated (difficult enough for a very active, intelligent gundog) and I have moved my desk so that it is next to the crate so I can keep an eye on him. He is triple coned! And still getting to his wound if I turn my back.
He was fine all day yesterday while I could observe him but in the evening, I came up for a bath (just a little break from the constant vigilance) and left him coned and locked up, only to find his bandage half hanging off his leg.

I can get near the leg though and he is super reactive. And DH is less than useless in helping.

So frustrating. I am finding myself using ODAAT as an almost constant mantra.

Morning all.

A sunny day already here.

Well done @Kindtomyself a massive mile stone.
@EastCoastDamsel sorry about the dog.

I'm off out cottage looking and then driving over to the next village to look at a very pretty farmhouse. I do love a farm but do I want all the rooms? My DH will call it a hotel. I miss my fires and aga (the DH is an Eco fiend and thinks they are fuel eaters). We'll see.

Keep going. Sober and strong.

Morning beautiful sober sisters that I love having in my life.
I will not drink today.

When life gets hard,which it does daily, I remind myself that I'm grateful I'm here, and to love all that is good,and everything else can go in the bin.

Sending strength to stay away from the biscuits.

Some friends of mine @WendyWagon have found their house renovation has taken 5years instead of 18 months due to hold up with planning, materials and labour etc, they have a great building but apparently that's how are now in the building trade. If you're happy to have a long project then I'd do that.

Sorry to hear you're struggling @Sortoutyourshit, we're here for you. I found Katie Piper's book It gets better so helpful, it's the only book I've ever read twice back to back. But you need to find what works for you which can take a while. Please keep posting though 💕.

Well done @Kindtomyself on 100days, a real milestone 👏 🎆

Welcome on board @Thepressuretofindaname, hope we can help.

Morning, checking in for wisdom from you mermaidincirnwall !
IWNDWYT.
congrats thepressuretofindanmae that’s great.
I have written a list by the fridge..if anyone wants to add to it, that would be most welcome!

You will feel self conscious and not be there for your son, who is old enough to disapprove- do I want to be that sort of person.
you won’t have the energy to tidy the kitchen
you’ll fall asleep on the sofa and snore.
you will have a sensitive stomach
you will wake up through the night,
you will have no energy
you will feel anxious and depressed and pretty rubbish at yourself.

💐

Morning, just checking in. Doing ok so far.

Good morning Shipmates. Late on today as I have been out looking at baby Highland calves. ❤️

@ShyMaryEllen Sid is the poster boy for a number of things; it's the price he knows he must pay for his ill-advised escapades on Dartmoor a couple of years ago (he absconded into the wilderness with my mobile phone and car keys). PAs at festivals and antlers/jumpers at Christmas until every penny of the £710 that it cost me to rectify his miscreance has been repaid. Think we're up to about £96.23 so far...

Hearty welcome to @Thepressuretofindaname - I am glad you've found us.

Good luck with the cottage-hunting @WendyWagon - a farm sounds nice, you could be a smallholder! 🙂

Sorry the dog is still poorly @EastCoastDamsel - I really hope that there is improvement soon and that your DH steps up a gear. 💐

Just so you can feel reassured that Sid isn't a complete slave to my every sordid whim, here he is, post-cress, having had a very lovely morning out with lots of people who love him!

Strength and courage my friends. We're going to be OK. xx

He's beautiful!❤️

@Thepressuretofindaname thank you, ❤️ he is a treasure.

@EastCoastDamsel - bit drastic, but have you thought about smearing mustard on the outside of the dog's dressings - it might make them less appealing to tamper with. It's not ideal I know. Hopefully he'll be on the mend soon. x

Firm, but fair, @REP22. It's the only way, sometimes.

Sid seems to have accepted his penance with good grace. His happy face is testament to that, bless him.

Well today went fine - my trigger time is cooking dinner but then this evening good old anxiety kicked in - I struggle quite a bit with anxiety; one of my reasons for going AF as I'm aware it won't help long term. Short term however I'd normally be drowning it with a huge glass of wine, realising that this will be my battle especially as I get anxiety about things and choices past so can't change anything 🥴😖

nearly 400 days sober ladies! popping on to say keep going , it’s totally worth it, the good life is there . feel like my brain works properly for the first time in about 38 years. who knew? rarely crave booze either and still having fun. it’s worth it. keep going. love to old crew and new crew @WendyWagon@EastCoastDamsel @ShyMaryEllen@REP22 @sid@Itsrainingten@Crunchymum@Onewildandpreciouslife@mermadeincornwall@Womanshourand al you gorgeous ladies. sober is defo where it’s at.

Hello everyone, I'm rejoining you all. Day 1 today.

@ponzusoup Thanks for coming here to tell us. I'm quite new - Day 20 today - and it's really uplifting to hear that it CAN be done! I'm glad to know you're doing so well.