The support thread for anyone trying to live an alcohol free life. Spring 2025.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome.
These threads were started by drybird in 2020 and have gone on to support many people to give up alcohol and live a sober life.
We are not a moderarion thread and only encourage sobriety. There is another long running thread if that's what you feel is right for you. Lots of support there.
We have newbies and veterans, some who have 5+ years under their belts.
We share life's up and downs (often why we drank) and no question is too silly.
Personally I gave up drinking three years ago. It's the hardest thing I've done and the best thing.
We call our selves sober sisters and even have a mascot, Sid the ship's dog.
He poses often for a cheer up picture.
We're not here to judge, just offer support and friendship.
It gets better I promise.

Hey 👋hope it's ok to join you on here. I have name changed out of shame but I'm a regular on mn. I've read through as much as I can and find you all inspirational. I'm back to drinking every other day and it can't go on. I really want a life without alcohol in it.
Lots of trauma in the past which I use as an excuse but the truth is I loved drinking and didn't want to give up. Looking back on the days I've lost and wasted to drink I feel so sad.
Today is day 1. Small steps and concentrating on getting up early and doing my house renovation.

@Notdoingthisanymore welcome.

One game-changer for me was realising that I felt that, if I were a better and stronger person, I would be able to be a good drinker. And that I subconsciously felt that I was consistently failing a daily test. I had complicated rules which usually worked (not always), but which were so stressful - they used up so much self-control. It was liberating to just - stop.

Very proud that I've managed my first day on holiday without drinking, despite numerous temptations - airport bar, duty free, load of drinkers on the plane, welcome drinks at the hotel, fridge in the room and supermarket over the road... So Day 14 is successfully completed.

You’re doing brilliantly @LillyPJ . Sober holidays are fabulous- so much more morning to enjoy!

You've got this! Im 5 years sober and have done 2 sober holidays now! Holidays for me now include lots of lovely coffee, smoothies, mocktails and fizzy juice. I also splurge on delicious food and desserts and find im more active on holiday now, less time spent sunbathing and more time walking around exploring.

Holidays are a bit different now - I actually come home rested. I can deal with jet lag sooooo much better. I look better in photos, clearer skin and brighter eyes. I remember everything. I can actually read my books I bring and remember everything I've read! I feel contentment.

Its tricky especially when alcohol is everywhere, but trust me it gets easier the second time once you've found your enjoyment and routines. Very much like Christmas time. Just remember to treat yourself to something other than alcohol so it still feels like a holiday - delicious food, fancy mock tails etc

Hi all. Still here. Hope you’re all throwing love at yourselves.

Unfortunately, I had a horrendous migraine in the night! I was awake for hours and I was sick and spent a lot of time on the bathroom floor crouched over the toilet! Probably due to all the travelling and stress yesterday. Anyway, I managed to console myself that it would have been A LOT worse if I'd been drinking! Feeling ok now and ready for the day ahead - and the week ahead etc. Thanks for all the support.

@Itsabeautifulthing Good advice! I had a fantastic coffee yesterday. I'll be out walking this morning and swimming today. And I've got plenty of reading to do. Off to breakfast now.

Morning fabulous sober sisters on the good ship Sobriety.
I will not drink today.

I've realised that I'm surviving being af,not thriving being af.
I shall start reminding myself of all the positives, such as @Healthynow post on May 13th.

Sending curiosity and calmness.
Stay safe and sober.

Hope you still ok @LillyPJ. Well done on avoiding temptation. I agree with @Itsabeautifulthing, my holiday last time was so much better, it was better everything, better food, rest, enjoying the moment, reading ,everything!

I love how our longtime sober sisters pop up, @Itsabeautifulthing ,the fact you're not posting daily speaks volumes. Well done on 5years. How long did it take to stop thinking about drinking/not drinking?

Welcome @Notdoingthisanymore. Hopefully we can help.

Thankyou everyone for the welcomes : ) I will not drink today.
This morning I woke up early without a hangover and I'm getting a quote to plaster 3 rooms and a hallway in new house / building site.

Morning sober sisters.

@mermadeincornwall i think the question of surviving not thriving is a really valid one.
Do you feel happier, healthier etc?
I can honestly say I feel both but I don't go out as much (could be due to the health scare).
My immediate family are not drinkers so unless the champagne is out they don't bother. It's not part of them.
My drinking was with single friends who I no longer see. I got dumped when I refused to the buy bottles of wine!

I did have a nice complement from my London friend last week who said she had never seen me drunk. I'm sure she had!
Off out for coffee.

Survive/thrive I’m a bit of both. I’m better not drinking for sure. I look better, I feel like I have started to grow more and be kind and compassionate to myself. I love not being obsessed with alcohol (which I hadn’t realised I was). I deal with stuff better - I’m stronger than I knew. I used to drink on everything. Someone was really arsey to me over email yesterday and I was very measured in my response. It still irks me but I’m processing it. I would in the past have poured a couple of glasses last night and felt crap today.
I am taking a day at a time.

Good morning shipmates from me and Cabin Boy/Powder Monkey Sid.

Welcome @Notdoingthisanymore - I am glad you have found us. I too have a troubled background which led me to "self-medicate" with drink. It's OK to feel sad and regretful for the days lost. I do too sometimes. But you can't change those days now. You've decided to make changes, which is powerful, strong and worthy - and very, very brave. It's true that you can't bring those days back and it's OK to grieve them and also grieve for the former friend you thought you had in the alcohol. All you can do is shape your future - you control what it will be now, not the stuff in the glass. It's not easy, not to start with, but I promise it is worth it. We're with you. It's going to be alright. You can do it. ❤️

Sorry about the migraine @LillyPJ - I occasionally get them myself - epic and horrendous, truly crippling pain that's hard to describe to anyone else. You're right though - it would have been infinitely worse with booze in the mix. Since stopping drinking I've not had them as often (touch wood), which can only be a good thing. Hope the rest of your holiday is better.

We hope you have a very lovely weekend. Sid and I are off on a lunchtime social outing tomorrow, which we are very much looking forward to. Here's Himself, eagerly counting down the hours before it's time to climb aboard the Sidmobile (he won't be quite so keen come Sunday, when it will be carrying him forth to his be-costumed publicity appearance; but we'll not remind him about that for the present).

Strength and courage my friends. Keep going, a bit at a time. We're going to make it. It will be OK. xx

@REP22 Thankyou soo much for those wise words. I needed to hear that and the fact I'm not going to be doing this alone gives me hope.
Normally I would be planning my Friday night in with a bottle of wine and a film but I'm trying to focus on being able to get up on a Saturday with no hangover and just do normal things like going to the garden center without feeling sick and remorseful.

@REP22 p.s Sid is gorgeous!!

@Notdoingthisanymore bless you. The sober Saturday morning is something that never gets tired. Not feeling sick, remorseful, hungover, guilty and not wasting the morning in a darkened room on a sunny day are rich prizes to be won. Not easy - it takes real effort to "play it forward" in the mind and resist the siren-song of the Wine Witch/Vodka Voldemort when they come a-calling (usually early evening for me), but the mornings are very much worth it.

I love a garden centre - though mostly for the bird food - no plant is safe in my care.

Sid thanks you very much - he is blushing under his fur! ❤️

Keep going. You're doing the best that you can for today - and that's just brilliant. xx

Honestly I would say daily - about 4 weeks. Then after that it would pop up sporadically for well over a year - weekends/christmas/summer bbqs etc I would start reasoning with myself that I could have a few. But I would remind myself of how desperate I was too stop and how awful I felt! Terrible anxiety and health anxiety, feelings of guilt etc. But now I don't think about it at all. I'm just a non drinker now and I don't ever want to drink again - or I don't want to deal with the aftermath of drinking again.

I will also say it took me around 4 attempts to stop, I broke my streak and regretted it every time - even after having only 2 or 3 drinks the anxiety and 3am wake ups would return that very night. I am now free of that life.

Now my life is peaceful, content and levelled. Life is still stressful of course BUT I can deal with it a million times better. My caffeine levels are questionable now though 😅 but now hangovers, no guilt and no daily anxiety.

It's important to note how alcohol has made life worse so you can reflect on it in the future when you start questioning yourself and bargaining that you could try moderation - remind yourself how quickly things can progress and how awful alcohol can make you feel. Then ask yourself do you want back on that merry go round again.

Thanks itsabeautifulyhing beautifully described.
IWNDWYT.

Also.. a friend now has the precursor to cirrhosis and another friend has that thing where reflux begins to rot your oesophagus ( it can lead to cancer) and heart palpitations. He looks awful too - a real drinkers face, he was devastatingly good looking and fun. Such a shame.
definitely IWNDWYT.

Just catching up on the thread.@WendyWagon I tried Sentia Red once I hit 100 days (about a month ago), I did feel a bit more buzzy but think it affected my sleep that night so didn't seem worth it to me as it doesn't taste great.

I've been having cute little bottles of Nozeco (20cl, approx. £2) which give a nice summer vibe.

Keep going everyone, it is so worth the mental clarity & calmness

It's past 5pm, which is my bottle opening time. Resisting the temptation to pop to the shop. I've emptied the house of all alcohol.
@REP22 I love that no plant is safe in your hands!! I mostly go to garden centers for the coffee..no green fingers here either : )

Hello shipmates, thank goodness you are here.
I’m Drinking tea like a pirate! I’m massively over having FIL living with us, and I’m irritated with DH and I’m just really not wanting to cook and have a silent dinner and stare at the tv with the pair of them again. Wtf do other people do if an evening?
BUT! I would have taken my bad mood out on a bottle. The tea bags are suffering instead.
Notdoingthidanymore I’m finding it SO helpful having emptied the house of everything too! We can do this .

IWNDWYT

@Notdoingthisanymore - I've got form. I've killed plastic cacti before now. 🌵☠️

Sounds like a good strategy you've got going. This is also about my time for the "pop to the shops... you've had a tough week... you've earned it..." wheedling internal dialogue. Nope. Not this week. Bunnies to the internal whisperings. Big fat bunnies - who rejoice in the poo-balls clinging to their fluffy little tails. 🐰🐇 Off you s~d, cravings, back to your wretched box of sorrow.

No bottles for me. With the possible exception of my Honey and Mustard salad dressing.

Stay strong. We've got this. ❤️ x