The support thread for anyone trying to live an alcohol free life. Spring 2025.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome.
These threads were started by drybird in 2020 and have gone on to support many people to give up alcohol and live a sober life.
We are not a moderarion thread and only encourage sobriety. There is another long running thread if that's what you feel is right for you. Lots of support there.
We have newbies and veterans, some who have 5+ years under their belts.
We share life's up and downs (often why we drank) and no question is too silly.
Personally I gave up drinking three years ago. It's the hardest thing I've done and the best thing.
We call our selves sober sisters and even have a mascot, Sid the ship's dog.
He poses often for a cheer up picture.
We're not here to judge, just offer support and friendship.
It gets better I promise.

Good morning shipmates. Greetings from me and Sid.

Pans People and Legs & Co were a bit before my time. My brother did have a copy of "I Lost My Heart to a Starship Trooper" by Sarah Brightman, back when she was in Hot Gossip (another Pans People also-ran I think).

Will keep all fingers crossed on the cottage front @WendyWagon.

@LillyPJ I would love to be able to grow veg in my garden. Alas, I have no gardening talent - my little square is where even plastic cacti go to die. I live opposite the local allotments, but no joy in my garden. I think it's the pigeons that are doing it to me. Hope your seeds all thrive. 🙂

@Healthynow - hope you're feeling better now. ❤️

@mermadeincornwall and anyone else feeling sorely tempted to imbibe again (including myself) - one of our lovely longstanding members has occasionally re-posted this entry from Clare Pooley's blog. I have found it very helpful, more than once, so I am offering it up again for anyone who might like to read it.

Mummy was a Secret Drinker: The Obstacle Course

Strength and courage my brave friends. It's going to be alright. x

Just read the link. Thanks @REP22 - that's really helpful. When I look back at my days as a smoker, I can't believe I ever wanted to be in that 'field' or that the first few times I thought I'd escaped, I climbed back in again. In these early days, it's hard to see the benefits of not drinking. I know in theory my body will be healing and I'm saving money and calories, but I can't imagine what it's like not to be constantly thinking about drinking and feeling deprived. It's reassuring to know that that wonderful place exists and it will be worth the struggle to get there. My upcoming holiday is a big hurdle (with barbed wire on top and a ditch on the other side!) but I know I will feel amazing if I get through it successfully.

Glad it was helpful @LillyPJ - you're so right though. It is extremely hard. I used to smoke too and found doing without the cancer-wands a lot easier than giving up the drink.

The battle is very, very hard. But it is worth it, in so many ways. I promise that it does get easier. But I know how you feel. In times past I literally could not comprehend how people were able to sleep at night without enough drinks beforehand. It baffled and frightened me.

I'm sorry that you've got some trying times ahead of you. But at least you're going into them with open eyes and your battle-armour strapped on. And there will be mighty victory ahead for you, one of so many, if you can stand firm. I often find that the anticipation (aka "dread") of a situation is often worse than the situation itself, once we are into it. I will keep everything crossed that that will be the case for you. Staying AF will be the best birthday gift you can give to yourself. And it is the gift that keeps on giving.

Always so much easier said than done, though, I know. Sid and I will be really rooting for you. It will be alright. xx

I'm just back from the hospital, where I've had a (routine) US of the liver. For those who don't know, I have fibrosis of the liver caused by drinking. I was diagnosed with cirrhosis, which was sobering to say the least, but after several years I insisted on a fibroscan and discovered I'm not quite there yet. Fibrosis is still serious though, so I have regular scans to check for cancer and other possibilities.

Getting liver disease is everyone's dread, and as I sometimes say on here - we will all give up drinking one day, whether that's voluntarily with a life ahead of us, when we realise that we are seriously ill or when our last drink takes the choice from us. I know which is the best option.

I was lucky, in that I was able to stop when I got the diagnosis (I'm not sure I would have otherwise), but I believed I had cirrhosis for seven long years, with all the shame and fear that that brings. Also, life became a round of hospital appointments, blood tests, scans and clinics with liver nurses and consultants - it's not fun, it's time-consuming, and every test brings the worry that this time things have got worse.

It's also been very tempting to drink now and then, now I know I'm not actually dying. Madness, I know, as the very last thing I want to do is have cirrhosis for real, but I have succumbed occasionally, and immediately wanted to binge. I am determined not to give in again, but it's not easy just now. I know I don't 'need' to drink - I can go out and enjoy myself without it, and without the awful Fear the morning after - but that nagging voice is there, telling me I can drink if I want to. I can't.

Very wise words @ShyMaryEllen - glad you got through the appointment OK. I well remember The Fear of hospital tests when still drinking - that the consultants were all huddled in a corner in open-mouthed horror at my results and terror at what would be revealed. Often exaggerated in my tiny, fevered booze-addled mind, but very real nonetheless. It's nice to be without that nauseating knot of dread these days.

You're an inspiration and source of wisdom to us all. ❤️x

Thanks, @REP22. I can't say I feel very wise - or inspiring, come to that - but if my experiences help anyone to stay sober they are worth talking about. There will now be the usual wait for the results - often weeks - as the NHS app only shows results for tests that have been ordered by a GP, not a consultant. I try not to think about it, but we all know that's not easy.

Good evening. Day 11 here and about go to the pub to watch the football. Still sober and feeling good. Let's keep it up.

IWNDWYT

shymaryellen here’s a very big hug.
this is an amazing link rep22 thank you. I’m pasting here so I can go back to it.
(The field) IT DOES EXIST! IT'S EVERY BIT AS GOOD AS YOU'RE HOPING. IT TAKES ABOUT 100 DAYS TO BE ABLE TO SEE IT, AND ABOUT SIX MONTHS TO GET THERE. YOU CAN DO IT.
so I’ll see it on the 18th august ( have been wonderfully sober for 3 nights) and wandering around in in November - so there will be bunnies in cute hats and pretty firework displays. 😀

Ps well done everyone, well done northern dancer
IWNDWYT.

If this isn’t too long a post, I asked chat gpt what would happen..it’s pretty persuasive I think…

After 100 days without alcohol, your body, brain, and emotions will have gone through huge positive changes. Whether you were a moderate or regular drinker, the benefits by this point are real and lasting. Here's what your body likely will have done:
🌿 Physical Health
Liver Recovery

• Your liver will have had time to repair itself significantly.
• Fatty deposits caused by alcohol may have greatly reduced or disappeared.
• Liver enzyme levels (ALT, AST) often normalize after 2–3 months of sobriety.

Improved Sleep

• Deep REM sleep will now be restored consistently.
• You may fall asleep more naturally and wake feeling genuinely rested.

Stable Blood Pressure and Heart Health

• Blood pressure and heart rate likely normalize if they were raised.
• Your risk of heart disease and stroke starts to lower noticeably.

Stronger Immune System

• Your body will be better at fighting off infections — fewer colds, better healing.

Weight and Digestion

• Many people lose weight and reduce bloating.
• Gut health and digestion improve, which supports mood and energy.

🧠 Mental & Cognitive Health Clearer Thinking

• Your concentration, memory, and decision-making improve.
• Brain fog tends to lift, and you may feel more productive and focused.

Mood Stability

• Anxiety and low mood often decrease as your brain’s dopamine and serotonin balance out.
• Emotional resilience grows — less reactive, more grounded.

Better Stress Response

• Your nervous system becomes less inflamed and more regulated.
• You may find you're better at coping with stress or difficult emotions without numbing.

💅 Visible Changes

• Skin is clearer, brighter, and more hydrated.
• Eyes may look brighter and less tired.
• Reduced puffiness, redness, or dark circles.

❤️ Emotional and Identity Shifts

• Many people feel proud, more in control, and more connected to themselves.
• You may feel more comfortable in your own skin — physically and emotionally.
• Your relationship with time, evenings, weekends, and even food often improves.

Bonus: Long-Term Protection

• After 3 months, you're also reducing your long-term risk of certain cancers (e.g. breast, liver, mouth), liver disease, high blood pressure, and alcohol-related anxiety or depression.

wow!

Thanks @Healthynow and @REP22 for the Claire Pooley reminder. I was reading the original blog in step with my own day count. However, it’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve caught up.

“TAKES ABOUT 100 DAYS TO BE ABLE TO SEE IT, AND ABOUT SIX MONTHS TO GET THERE”

this is such a helpful statement! I feel like I am seeing the light at 125 days and look forward to things only getting better. 😍

12 days down and only 88 to go!

Morning beautiful sober sisters.
I will not drink today.

Forgive yourself for every mistake you've made. You said sorry if you can,and wouldn't make the same mistakes again. Draw a line under it ,learn from it and put it firmly in the past.

Sending sunshine and calmness.

Morning lovelies.

Another bag of charity shop donations sorted.
I looked at the wine shelf yesterday (gifts) and thought there's £££ there and what a waste. I never thought I'd say that. Today is the anniversary of my last wagon binge. The BFFs birthday. One of huge embarrassment. She's out with her daughter today and I didn't offer.

I'm going to rope in my niece to help me paint my front door. I've had to buy special upvc stuff as it is a modern secruity door. Apparently not quick drying. I bet it's a stinky one but I wanted the pretty blue. We'll see how we get on.

The DS has found a house to view!

Has anyone tried Sentia? It's the new AF from professor David Nutt.

Just checking in! Procrastinating I suspect.
I hope the 100 day thing helps - I thought it was good to know- we’re not giving up, we are aiming for. I think it might be helpful ( for me anyway) to think about 18 august as a goal.
I am really enjoying waking up feeling hangover free! Thank you for the Claire pooled link, amazing website. I’ve had breast cancer too so will read some of that tonight.

mermaid I really value your wise words. and wendy I do like to hear what you are up to. Good luck with the door! It’s on my list too, mind you so is a complete house refurb and redecorate. Don’t know where to start!
have a successful day everyone. 💐
IWNDWYT

googled Sentra, it looks interesting. Really MUST get cleaning. Have my house and we are moving FIL here so got his house as well to sort. 😳💪
edited to remove Sentra link - I’m getting a bit carried away with the old copy and paste!

Good morning shipmates,

Checking in before the first work meeting of the day, before everything goes inevitably pear-shaped ('tis with a known weasel).

Great news about the DS's house-spot @WendyWagon - will keep everything crossed! Glad you're not paying court to the BFF this time. 🙂

Thanks for posting the chatGPT information @Healthynow - that's incredibly helpful to have. All Bunnies, Bunnies, Bunnies (I think that was the name of the poster who originally shared the blog link!) from hereon-in... 🐰🐇

Strength and courage. We're getting there and the view from the top is lovely. xx

I love reading all your updates on here - it really helps to feel there are others out there. I took have a wine shelf @WendyWagon - all presents for looking after dog, putting a friend up for the night, giving a lift etc. It's amazing to think I'd have drunk all that in no time in the not-too-distant past. I've been busy clearing out my spare bedroom ready for a guest. Where has all this stuff (and dust!) come from?! Big bag of things for the charity shop. Much to do before setting off on holiday tomorrow. I think my Day 100 is August 11th, @Healthynow - see you there!

Oh lillyPJ that’s a good aim! We have already sailed past the first rocks!
I agree it’s nice to idly chat about Other Things.
enjoy your holiday!
goodness about the house wendy and Rep22, I’m looking forward to seeing that view with you all.
I DID NOT DWYT! Yippee!

Morning all. Ahoy from the bridge.
A bit cooler here, I smell rain.

Off later to drive the DD for her last exam of the year. She's trying for a PT job but still no luck.

I've just eaten a peach finest Danish. Delicious.

I was doing a bit more research into the senita drinks and I'm not sure I want to be chilled. I spent twenty years not knowing my own name by 7pm!

Morning wonderful kind sober shipmates.
I will not drink today.

I've realised how much self care has played a part of me becoming af. I have so much more time and money to spend on myself now. It's an upwards spiral of positively.

Sending gratitude for this opportunity.

I suppose it depends on what we expect from drinks like Senita , I want something to chill me out and bring me down when the rage burns deep, I take alot of calms style tablets , use my diffuser and do my hypnosis etc.

Bunnies Bunnies Bunnies was my initial inspiration to start on this journey. Occasionally I find the old thread to reread her journey. The fact she doesn't post anymore shows how far she's come ,well hopefully 😧.

I love a good clear out,but I have fallen into the trap of holding onto clothes I might fit back into one day. I was hoping the weight would slowly drop now I'm af. It's another work in progress.

I'm decorating my house one room at a time,almost finished the first two bedrooms. Wish I could afford new carpets though. At least its fresh and clean .

How's your husband's doing @Healthynow?

Talking about significant dates, @WendyWagon and @Healthynow mine is June 15th. I'll be so relieved to pass it.

I've saved your post @Healthynow from 13th, about the benefits of being af,wish I could print it off and put it on my kitchen window sill, but I don't have a printer anymore. 😆

Your doing so well @LillyPJ, Im really proud of you even though I don't know you in the real world.

Good morning shipmates, greetings from me and Sidney.

Hope DD's exam goes well @WendyWagon 🤞

@mermadeincornwall "Bunnies Bunnies Bunnies" is my current mantra when facing temptation now. And grateful refrain with each sober morning. It helps me. Bunnies the MN poster checked back with the thread last year, after someone reposted the blog entry and name-checked her. She was still sober and doing well.

Sid has a social engagement booked next week, for which he must be suitably costumed. I will not repeat the rich salad of exotic profanity he chose to employ when he saw me retrieving the outfit (this will be his second year in attendance). He will be heavily bribed with Sizzlers. I will try to obtain a suitable picture for you.

Strength and courage. We're doing what we can to make everything alright. We're getting there. x