The support thread for anyone trying to live an alcohol free life. Spring 2025.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome.
These threads were started by drybird in 2020 and have gone on to support many people to give up alcohol and live a sober life.
We are not a moderarion thread and only encourage sobriety. There is another long running thread if that's what you feel is right for you. Lots of support there.
We have newbies and veterans, some who have 5+ years under their belts.
We share life's up and downs (often why we drank) and no question is too silly.
Personally I gave up drinking three years ago. It's the hardest thing I've done and the best thing.
We call our selves sober sisters and even have a mascot, Sid the ship's dog.
He poses often for a cheer up picture.
We're not here to judge, just offer support and friendship.
It gets better I promise.

Sorry about your lunch wendywagon fwiw, I’m a bit proud of you too. Treating yourself, losing weight, and most excitingly, getting boundaries. Go you! Well done! You’ve moved 17 times? Wow!
meramid I’m learning that ( and to have boundaries/get angry) too. Learning to not engage with other people’s problems is liberating.
shymaryellen oh no! But I think there might be the odd lovely jumper shop in the Lake District.
had the night out and all was fine - a.f beer until we ended up at a wine bar and the wine was rather special. So I’m sort of pleased - but if I can do most of a night, I can do the whole night next time. It was also good to notice how stupid everyone became, and how my tiredness/ anxiety was back today.
and tonight has been snuggly cups of tea. Much better.
thank you all.
IWNDWYT.

Morning all.
I've been woken by a galloping dog on the poop deck!

I enjoyed my gardening yesterday and need to do a bit more today. It's cold and windy here. Very odd.

I've got a fair bit on this week with a trip up to London on Friday.
My friend has moved to a house with a garden so I did a couple of pots as a gift. She's not had a garden for twenty five years.

We've also got company interested in the skincare brand so I'm being coffiered Wednesday prior to the VC. Retirement fund if it came off. Yeay

I got into a linen top yesterday I bought in 2001. I added to the pile in Ovis with our Barber jackets. I've tried it on after every quack diet and it never fitted. Twenty four years later it fits me! There is no way I'm going back to drinking wine and scoffing cheese. I spent my forties feeling embarrassed about my size and drinking to numb the pain. If I can do it ladies anyone can.

Be strong, be bold, be sober.

Morning sober sisters.
I will not drink today.

You cannot heal whilst drinking.

Sending kindness and calmness.
What are you doing for your self care today?

I've also gone up a size for my linen trousers,but I'm determined that is the last time I buy that size. Think I'll write
" if I can do it ladies anyone can " @WendyWagon
and leave it on my window sill. 😁

Morning lovely ladies! How nice to have a morning greeting.
that sounds exciting wendywagon
mermadeincornwall me too!
it’s good to hear’i cannot heal while drinking’ now that’s another motivation, thank you!
IWNDWYT💪

@mermadeincornwall @Healthynow thank you both.
I used to be so embarrassed by my size. The drink was my comfort. I'm by no means a skinny min but I just couldn't shift the weight, I spent at least fifteen years feeling unattractive. I could scrub up because my clothes are swish but looking in the mirror I didn't look like me.
My husband's a strapping chap and in his culture thin isn't attractive but part of me wanted to do it for him after he stood by me. I wanted him to feel proud. Not very feminist I know but it's a bit of pay back.

I'm going to try to swim again too if I can find someone to go with. I'm still a bit unsteady but I hate the heat so hydrotherapy is not for me. Hopefully it will help with MH and be a bit of a tone up.

creeps in and sits at the back behind a pillar

Well, I'm back ladies. I stopped drinking in April 2022 and was a regular on these threads under another name for some time. I had a lapse in November 2022 (for one night only) and then, after a four day hangover, didn't drink again until September 2023 when I thought a large G&T after a VERY stressful day would not hurt. I then found that a cold beer appealed, but now sent me rushing to the toilet, so I swapped to G&T, which I don't really like if I'm honest.

Fast forward to last week and singles had become doubles, four or five a day (I'll let you do the math) and I was just sick of the whole thing, sick of being a size 16 (again), sick of waking up with the heebie jeebies at 3.00am and at 8.00am with a pounding headache, sick of my lack of motivation and counting the hours until I could go to the pub.

I've not had a drink now since 8.00pm last Friday, that in a way is the easy bit. My heart rate is coming down and I'm sleeping well, but why do I feel so completely exhausted?

I will not drink today.

Welcome back @NorthernDancer

I have been here since January 2022.
I feel we know each other (new name for me too in the first year due to the stalker).

Well done on continuing your sober journey.

Well @NorthernDancer can I join you behind that pillar?

I was on the threads a couple of years ago too. Gave up drinking for a while and felt good. Then started again and it has crept up and up as it does.

I feel like I am two people. Morning Tina who thinks why the bloody hell do I drink, it is pointless and makes me feel crap. Evening Tina who gives Morning Tina the single finger salute and cracks open a bottle.

I am going to stop again for a bit.

Welcome back @NorthernDancer . You’re exhausted partly because you’re still on the come down from alcohol- are you on day 3 or 13? And the early days are just really tiring, mentally and physically. It will get better if you can hang in there.

Well done for deciding to start afresh, and for posting

And hello again @TheTwoTinas!

It’s spring- the perfect time for new beginnings. Time to dig out the toolkit from the cupboard, dust it off, and start again

Welcome back @TheTwoTinas

You made me laugh with 'naughty Tina '.

I get fed up sometimes, I've never lost the urge but and it's a big but I was so desperate and looked like sh*t when I was drinking. I was also vulnerable.
I don't want that to be the next phase of my life.

I was told I was very ill but luckily I'm getting better. I'm grateful and my recovery is helped by not drinking. Sobering thoughts.

I have been lurking on this thread for a while, so read about your health problems Wendy. Glad to hear you are making a recovery.

I am banning naughty Tina from making her evening appearances! But more seriously, I know what you mean about next phase. I am 60 and feel that drinking to excess is not a good look. I know it isn't at any age, but I hope you know what I mean.

Also, my older sibling is deeply addicted to drinking vast amounts. They look awful.and behave even worse at times. I don't want that to be me.

Day 3 done. Home after a long day out and nothing to drink here.

Day 4 tomorrow, which includes a wisdom tooth extraction.

Hello norterhndancer and two tinas it’s lovely that you’ve felt safe enough to return. And I think it’s really well done for giving up all that time.
fwiw I fell off this thread years ago and it’s taken me till now to return. It’s going to get crowded behind that pillar!
wendy how brilliant that you are getting better . Being properly ill is pants.
twotinas I’m 60 too and like you think it’s not a great look for a mature sohistikated lady.
Like you, I have a sibling who looks awful, and recently got a health scare from cociane and booze over the years. Definitely don’t want that to be me. I hoped I’d be lean and athletic with a white shirt and great bag, but I’m not quite there yet! Going to start attempting it now.
thinking of you guys definitely helps at wine o clock.
Looking forward to a hangover free day tomorrow! So thank you!
good luck with the wisdom tooth nortehrn it will all be good!

Morning sober crew on HMS I Am Doing Better.
I will not drink today

I am working every day for the life I want. Being af free means I can finally achieve real changes.

Sending laughter and Yorkshire tea to all.

A hearty welcome (back) @NorthernDancer and @TheTwoTinas . Hopefully you're here to stay, forever. It took me so many attempts to stop but sheer bloody determination got me through. I thought about where I'd be in a years time if I carried on ,knowing the cravings and amount would increase. That really scared me .
Hope the tooth extraction went well.

Morning all.
Up early to drive the DD into the big city for an exam. She's eating breakfast which is a good sign.
I shall take my good housekeeping mag.

Morning all.

Throwing love at everything today.

@WendyWagon good luck DD and enjoy your magazine. I haven’t read a magazine for ages - I keep seeing them in M & S and thinking about getting one.

Morning all!
its a hangover free morning!
land I even got some gardening done last night instead of falling off the sofa.
have a lovely day, good luck to your DD hope tooth ok, and happy day to all.
Im throwing love at me today, thanks for the reminder kindtomyself
IWNDWYT

Good morning shipmates, Sid and I hope you had a good weekend.

Finding things a bit tough at the moment - the nightmares are back. But I will not drink to avoid them.

Strength and courage. We've got this. xx

Good afternoon. Day 4 here. Shocking night's sleep so still exhausted. Also appear to have either a streaming cold or hay fever.

Dentist at 6.15 tonight. Bricking it, but will not go for a stiffener first.

I will not drink today.

Good luck with the dentist, @NorthernDancer. I am a dental phobic, so you have all my sympathy.

The weather here has improved, thank goodness.

hi rep22 I don’t know if a soothing meditation before sleep might help?

I find this calming, Steven fry talking about lavender in Provence. If that’s not to your taste, I find ultimate mindset change with Paul Sheppard podcast very relaxing. I like that he’s a bit of a geek, rather than a tony Robbin’s type. it really affects me if I watch anything before bed, you might be the same? Hope it helps anyway. Northerndancer hope the dentist was ok! proud to say ..another night since Saturday! I drank peach tea from lidl with fizzy water, ice and lemon. Yum! I think it’s the color bizarrely that makes it an ok substitute in that it feels posh in a tinkly glass. IWNDWYT. I didn’t DWYT! hugs to all

Morning all.
I'm up early with a snoring dog.
All went well at the university yesterday. The DD finished her paper early.
Last one next week.

I've ordered some bay trees and a mini green house. I'm putting in some garden investment due to the cottage saga. I've never had a modern house so the patch of lawn is alien to me. I seem to be OK pottering around.
I'm also going to start a 'sixty things' before I turn sixty at the end of the year.
I'm definitely going to Italian classes as it wasn't one of the languages I did at school. Plus I fancy something like Tai chi.

No new AF drinks to recommend but the lemons are looking good. I bought a huge papaya in waitrose.