The support thread for anyone trying to live an alcohol free life. Spring 2025.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome.
These threads were started by drybird in 2020 and have gone on to support many people to give up alcohol and live a sober life.
We are not a moderarion thread and only encourage sobriety. There is another long running thread if that's what you feel is right for you. Lots of support there.
We have newbies and veterans, some who have 5+ years under their belts.
We share life's up and downs (often why we drank) and no question is too silly.
Personally I gave up drinking three years ago. It's the hardest thing I've done and the best thing.
We call our selves sober sisters and even have a mascot, Sid the ship's dog.
He poses often for a cheer up picture.
We're not here to judge, just offer support and friendship.
It gets better I promise.

Morning 68 days completed.
I have a UTI, on antibiotics so hopefully that will clear soon. Feeling rough tbh.

@Moveanymountain My ex used to control my drinking and it drove me mad.

@Onewildandpreciouslife glad you dealt with it. The emotions are tough especially when bringing up memories of stuff we’d rather not remember. I’m glad everything seems more manageable.

@ShyMaryEllen sorry to hear about the job, I’m looking for a job at the moment but keep getting rejected. Not great for building up my self esteem. I have qualifications coming out of my ears and lots of experience but there’s something in the air I feel.

I hope everyone has a ‘good’ Friday

Good Friday everyone.
I will not drink today.

Without being blasphemous, sometimes I felt like I'd risen from the dead the morning after, but not anymore.

Love and kind thoughts to all.
Stay safe and sober.

Morning all.
Same from me 'Good Friday '.

I saw the BFF yesterday and she's leaving the Trump supporter. Hoorah. I couldn't go round to the house as soon as I knew the sort of opinions he had been spouting. Let's say they were pretty vile.

Sometimes it's useful having adult DC as both her daughters said it's him or us and I didn't have to do it. I think she's dodged a bullet.

We're having a chilled day. The DS is playing golf.

I've had to keep away from the fruit juice but I have Gordon's af and some cracking lemons.

Morning all and Happy Easter Friday 🐣

So day 3 for me - originally thinking it was day 4 but then remembered I had a few watered down wines on Tuesday to help with the withdrawal symptoms I was having - so being truthfully, it is day 3.

I’m quite down this morning. Poor DH is back to work tomorrow after what should have been a great week but was a shit week. We had lots of plans including a show, meet ups with friends, few days away in a nice hotel. Ended up doing nothing because of my bender. We lost a bit of money but also wasted valuable time off work for him.

He’s normally down just before going back to work anyway (hates his job but has another year to go before retiring) but it’s worse today because of me. He’s gone out a walk “to get some fresh air” and I know he’s a mix of angry and sad and will be chewing things over.

I want to say to him that I acknowledge what I’ve done and that my behaviour has ruined his week off, how sorry I am, I can’t change the past but will aim to do better in the future. But I’ve said it all before 😢

I will say it but I know it will mean him telling me again how bad my drinking is, how badly it’s affecting the family, how utterly drained by it all he is and I’m dreading having this conversation/“lecture” again (I’m using lecture because he talks and I just sit there but I’m not meaning it in a bad way). But I know I should do it so wish me luck!

Have a great day and let’s pledge to having a sober Easter 🐣 🪺 ☕️ 🍰 xx

@Moveanymountain
You know it just takes the day to decide to stop drinking.

You've done the hard bit. One foot in front of the other.

My DH didn't believe me when I came home with all my AA books but I got there. You will too.
Love is a wonderful thing and I'm sure your DH is just worried about you. It may come out as anger but it will be concern.

You can do this. X❤️

I know, I know
Today's the day of crucifixion, not resurrection, but I've crucifyed myself occasionally too.

Looking forward to having a bit of quiet time to catch up with you all.

It’s a horrible feeling @Moveanymountain - my drinking made my DH cry once it had got so bad. So if I can do it, anyone can. Just take it one day at a time.

@WendyWagon @Onewildandpreciouslife thanks for the support.

I’m sure DH does loves me - we separated for a bit 10 years ago so I know he wouldn’t stay with me if he didn’t want to. Apart from my drinking, we really do have a wonderful life.

I spoke to him when he returned from his walk. It was a bit/lot of going over old ground and me saying sorry/I will keep trying. He says he understands, bless him.

I’ve been out a walk, got a few bits at the shop and had some lovely soup and crusty bread for lunch. Now settling down with a cup of tea and my book. DH is having his nana nap. A pleasant afternoon ahead and I feel better (although still guilty).

IWDWYT xx

@Moveanymountain try and move beyond the guilt as that is what will drive you back… you’ll feel better in a few days and then think you’ll be ok with just the one and then another and another. It sounds like you need a clean break and you know it.

i recommend not telling anyone you’re trying. Keep the level of expectations small. If everyone thinks you are doomed to fail, you’ll accept that and give in.

I haven’t told anyone but my DH and a close friend. The rest of the time, I’ve had to drive or whatever other excuse I can come up with not to drink around other people. Don’t make an announcement. It’s very much a mental challenge. Every time you think you’ve cracked it, a craving hits you from left field and you have to ride the wave.

set yourself a target. Mine was to make it to 90 days because I’ve been drinking so heavily for so many years that my brain wasn’t able to make its own dopamine and entirely reliant on booze. I made it to 90 days and I’m determined I will keep going because i know that I will never ever be able to moderate. The next target for me is 6 months which seems a bit nuts as it’s double target 1!! But it’s significantly easier now than it was at day 10 or 30 or 50. It just gets better (but doesn’t go away).

@SmellyMe - great advice, thanks.

I’ve already set myself a 100 day target. I’ve framed it as 100 days of self care. 100 days of doing things I like, eating well, exercising and generally getting fitter. I feel that is a much more positive “look what I’m gaining” slant to things.

My friends and social circle all know I have a problem so won’t be surprised that I’m not drinking. that said, I’m avoiding the group meet ups that involve heavy drinking - I just find it too hard being around drunk people. I’m going to stick to coffee meet ups/lunches etc. I’ve said to DH that it will help me if he still socialises with the group because then I won’t feel guilty that he’s missing out and won’t feel compelled to join them. He’s ok with that.

I’m also going to start horse riding again - used to ride a lot pre DC and I absolutely love it. Need to get a bit fitter first as I seriously doubt I could actually get up on the horse! I’ve got a friend of a friend who goes to a stables and she’s given me a contact number.

I really need to put my sobriety above everything so it’s going to be all about that/me for the next 96 days - I’m actually feeling quite excited about it but I know that’s partly pink clouding.

Hi all, hope you’re doing ok. Lovely weather here, so lots of gardening. Now ordering a Chinese for my Friday treat, washed down with Nosecco. Then I might crack open an Easter egg.
Take care sober lovelies x

Ahoy ships company.
I will not drink today.

I'm aboard the ship of dreams, but I won't let this one hit an iceberg and sink.

Love and kind thoughts to all.
Stay safe and sober.

Omg,just catching up and read @REP22 (16th March )and The Carpathia!!!
Sober telepathy again 😮.

Morning all.

Morning Day 69 completed.

Wake up with a sense of foreboding most mornings and I have to bring myself out of it. Very weird, I wonder if I’m having odd dreams that I can’t remember.

Enjoy your Easter Saturdays all.

Actually, @REP22 that was a great post. I didn’t get around to commending your paraphrasing of Elizabeth I 👌.

@ShyMaryEllen and sorry about your job. I think a tide is coming, sadly. I’m quite worried about it. I’m hoping I’ll be ok, but I know many will not be. :(

Morning Day 70 completed

Irritable and angry. I am going to practice relaxing and being present today.

Happy Easter

Good morning shipmates.
I hope everyone is enjoying the break.

The dog and I have had breakfast.
We're having a turkey crown today. A posh one out of the freezer. I'll be making bread sauce just for me.
The DH got me an egg. I'm not really a chocolate person but I'll manage.

We've heard from the cottage owners and they've set a date for a viewing in June. Not a problem as my roses will be out. We're going to use one of the national agents to sell our house as they've got an all female team. I've had such nonsense from the 'boys' in our local town. They are so gossip driven and nasty.

I hope anyone struggling remembers we are all here thinking of you. It is hard to give up alcohol in the early days but it is so worth it. Peace of mind and body.
No more lost days and shame.
Keeping going my friends. X

Morning all on the good ship Sobriety.
I will not drink today.

It's wonderful not being hungover, and a revelation to know I never will again.

Love and kind thoughts to all.
Extra love and kind thoughts to all that are struggling at the moment 💕 💐

Good morning. Feeling positive this morning, and determined to keep the recycling bin free of wine bottles!

Keep 💪 strong ladies.
The wine witch will be out later even on the Lord's day (my daughter the atheist saying). She's a card.

We've had orange juice with our turkey dinner.

I have ordered some Little Rick CBD AF cocktails, and took delivery of some ZOOZ drinks with Lion's Mane, ginseng and Cordyceps in them. I was unsure of the idea of mushroom drinks, but they taste ok - a bit sour, but they are sugar free.

My plan is to wean myself off AF wine over the summer, or cut it down to a bottle or so at the weekend/in company, as I am eating too much sugar. The 'mind altering' drinks are hellishly expensive though, so if they have no impact I'll stick to supermarket's own brand lemonade now I'm economically inactive 😀

ahoy shipmates and happy Easter Sunday 🐣

Day 5 almost done for me - been a busy few days so haven’t posted. I was out shopping today (no other plans as the H is working and it’s my last chance to get some new bits for a couple of trips we’ve got coming up). Was in the city centre and it’s a lovely day here so lots of people sitting outside the pubs enjoying the sunshine with a drink or 10 it seems. The thought of a nice cool glass of something did cross my mind but I treated myself to my favourite coffee instead.

Got home and walked in to a half empty bottle of fancy vodka sitting on the kitchen worktop. 🤔 seems the DD and her mates must have had a few pre drinks before going out - I knew she had friends coming round as they were going to a “DJ thing” (whatever that is) and knew they’d probably have a few but was surprised the vodka made it out her bedroom. I’m guessing they were sitting out on the decking with it being such a nice day (kitchen leads out onto a seating area).

Anyway - I looked at it and my brain immediately jumped to “bloody great, you can have a few without buying it/hiding the empties and no one will know”. I really considered it for about half an hour. I did the “5 more minutes” thing and it actually worked! Ended up pouring myself some sparkling water with ice and lime and sipped it in the garden whilst eating my fave co-op sea salt and Chardonnay vinegar crisps - result!

Unfortunately I ate almost the full bag but it’s better than drinking. The craving has left me now so I know I’m safe now. Day 5 in the bag.

Hope everyone else is “safe” and making it through another bank holiday weekend AF ❤️☕️ 🍰 🍫

Morning Day 71 completed
Emotions been popping up about various things over the weekend, just life stuff. In the past I would white knuckle through it and then have a drink when it’s ‘acceptable’ to
numb those pesky emotions.

Not this time. I have allowed the emotions to come and to go. All done in a slightly inexperienced wonky way but done all the same. I am learning and that’s the key..

@Moveanymountain well done on your 5 more minutes. That’s a win for sure

Morning all.
Well done @Moveanymountain that was a real test of strength.

DH's birthday today so the DS is cooking him man chicken (very spicy, on the bone).
As I have felt like a production line all weekend I'm glad. However another woman at work made his birthday cake!

The cottage owners have asked for quite a bit more money than we expected to pay. I'm actually not sure what I want to do so I will save it for a pow wow with the BFF later this week.

Nowt on today so I'm safe.
Good luck on the seas my shipmates.