The support thread for anyone trying to live an alcohol free life. Spring 2025.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome.
These threads were started by drybird in 2020 and have gone on to support many people to give up alcohol and live a sober life.
We are not a moderarion thread and only encourage sobriety. There is another long running thread if that's what you feel is right for you. Lots of support there.
We have newbies and veterans, some who have 5+ years under their belts.
We share life's up and downs (often why we drank) and no question is too silly.
Personally I gave up drinking three years ago. It's the hardest thing I've done and the best thing.
We call our selves sober sisters and even have a mascot, Sid the ship's dog.
He poses often for a cheer up picture.
We're not here to judge, just offer support and friendship.
It gets better I promise.

Morning all.

Lord have mercy, I was very poorly yesterday afternoon. Something didn't agree with my gallbladder and whoop.
I didn't need the doctor but the lads pushed all the meds on it.
I'm fine this morning but will be sticking to 'cuisine bland'.

It's the DHs birthday next week and I've not a clue what to buy him. I'm also trying to forget he bought me the hideous snot green heated hoodie. I might make a cake as it took the ganets five hours to eat the one I made Wednesday. All denying scoffing the last piece.

Be safe and sober in the sun.

Morning all
another lovely weekend

Morning 62 days completed. Hope you feel better today @WendyWagon sound horrible.

Went to a gig last night, was right at the front. Would never have done that previously for lots of reasons but one being the need for another drink and a wee! I loved the fact that I am so much more focused without the booze. I actually watch the band and know what they played. In the past it would have been a blur! It’s a completely different experience.

I’d had the niggling anxiety/sadness during the day that has plagued me since childhood. It’s like a heavy heart. I will throw my love at the feeling

@Kindtomyself i like that “ throw my love at that feeling “
I’m 43 days AF and abstinence isn’t the main problem for me it’s the facing up to my worries, past trauma etc without being able to numb the pain with alcohol. I shall try throwing love at it too ❤️

SOS!! I’ve been AF for 3 1/2 years now and having a wobble. Please remind me all the reasons I should not give in!!!

@Newmum738

DON'T DO IT!

Can you buy yourself something nice as a reward instead?!

It's so lovely and sunny and springlike - so yes, very tempting to put the cherry on the cake with some liquid joy. But it's not joy - it will ruin the day and tomorrow.

We can absolutely have a happy and joyful day enjoying the afternoon and evening with tonic water and a slice of lime, or AF cold beer, or a really good coffee. Throw an ice-cream in too and we're still quids in, calorie-wise.

We are lucky to have figured this out - when many friends and family are still not there yet - and we can absolutely do it.

Hold fast and I'm cheering you on ❤

@Newmum738 remember the reality. Remember why you stopped. They have not gone away just because the sun is shining.

I know it’s hard, I’m sorry. But you are doing so well. Just ride this out - it will pass. And you will wake up in the morning and be glad you held on

@Newmum738 you have come so far! Presumably you stopped because you can’t moderate? Don’t give in or you will end up where you were, no? It’ll never be ‘just this one’ or ‘just tonight’.

Ok thanks all! I’ve had an ice cream and Diet Coke and that has helped. Now onto crisps & cocoa. Think I’ll get through it. More deserts required I think!

Morning 63 days completed
Glad you got over your wobble @Newmum738, 3.5 years is fabulous.

Had a busy Saturday gardening, friend for coffee and big walk with my son.

I’m continuing to throw love at my emotions, the heavy heart has shifted for now…

I am determined to release the endless belief that people don’t like me. I had an Aha! moment yesterday when I realised it’s about self-love and what I think of myself. Glaringly obvious but difficult to see. So I will be throwing love at that too.

Morning inspirational ships company.
I will not drink today.

I choose a more worthwhile life.

Love and kind thoughts to all.
Stay safe and sober.

Ahoy shipmates.

Up early in Chez Wendy. Two birthday presents to buy.
Our town centre is rubbish but we do have out of town malls.

I'm debated getting rid of all my heels. I never wear them and apparently nobody does anymore. I don't need the height but some are so lovely they are works of art.

Seven hours' sleep and no hangover this morning! The lovely sunny weather seems to have gone this morning, but it's still a lovely day ❤

@WendyWagon my short Parisien friend bemoans women not wearing heels post pandemic. Once I shift some pounds, I hope to blow the dust off mine and embrace them again!

I rarely wear heels, I’m wedges if I need to be raised up. Heels aren’t great for your pelvis, feet, ankles and knees but I have to agree that some are like pieces or art. I have a friend who has particularly beautiful heels on display like ornaments

My dream dressing room got hijacked by the DH and his ironing store followed by the DS coming home and moving my swag out of the guest room. Hopefully he's found a house! I had planned those perspex boxes on top of the armoire (that got put in the garage). It's now having racks fitted to the walls to take the access bedlinen. Bloody madness really. We don't need it all. We don't have a 'country house' any more but we still have the linen!

Oh no I’d be livid if my dressing room was taken over (I don’t have one but still…). I’ve got the Perspex boxes though and very handy they are too! I really want to get rid of ‘stuff’ I really don’t need. I’m going to do a Marie Kondo again soon to shift it

@Kindtomyself it does sound a bit wa*kery! I've got a breakfast room too but it's full of toys and larders (DC 21/25).

If I get my cottage I'll still have a dressing room but it's really a walk through.
I loved Sherry Murphy's dressing room on the Abbey Clancy programme. Just gorgeous. Loads of displayed bags. When I was so much bigger bags would always fit!
Horder due to crap childhood.

Ahoy sober sisters.
I will not drink today.

I knew I couldn't moderate. Yet, I still kept drinking thinking this time will be different. How stupid. Now ' I don't question the decision '.

Love and kind thoughts to all.
Stay safe and sober. @newme2025

I don't wear heals because I have Cankles, my big thighs look massive compared to the dainty stilettos 😥.Wedges balance my thighs and child bearing hips a bit more.
Iii agree with @taylorean, @newme2025,we're lucky to have figured this out.

Hope you're still well @WendyWagon.

@Kindtomyself,I'm with @Woollygreymittens ,so much so that I'm going to write down 'throw my love at that feeling 'and add it to my window sill.

Rosa Hoskins said her dad ,Bob gave her this piece of advice

Be yourself: If someone doesn't like you, they're either stupid, blind or they've got no taste. Accept who you are; you've got no one else to be.

Morning Day 64 Completed
Things went tits up last night. I got angry at the kids about something but as usual it’s a build up of stuff. I’m scared about one of my teens - just in the way they are approaching life and I don’t seem to be able to deal with it very well. They’re neurodivergent and I struggle to understand them. I don’t think I’m being very adult about it.

I need to throw love at it

Morning all shipmates.
I was up much earlier but went back to sleep. I could never do that when I drank. My sleep was terrible.

@Kindtomyself my DD was tested for ASD a number of times as she was so unhappy in school (she wouldn't go 40% of the time). She's isn't but the 14-18 years were tricky and I found myself struggling. I was still drinking then and that didn't help. I use to loose my temper with her, partly due to the god awful schools and the threats made by them. The ridgidity of some of her lecturers tests her but on the whole university suits her better. We have lots of ND people in our wider family so I've learnt to support in different ways. Being sober helps.

Day 45 and feeling a bit low. Not tempted to drink but missing numbing my feelings. I wonder if a lot of us on these alcohol support threads had a dysfunctional up bringing. I had an emotional abusive, bullying father and as a result I made very bad choices in my relationships. I am now single and caring for my elderly mother with very little support. Life is pretty hard at the moment. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for the things I have

@WendyWagon thanks for sharing, we too have ND in the wider family and I do wonder about my mum which might explain a lot about the emotional neglect and abuse. I get frustrated with my teen, they’re so gentle but live in their internal world. Communication is tricky, I am working on this. I so don’t want to recreate my own experiences.

@Woollygreymittens yep dysfunctional upbringing here. Sorry you’re not getting much support with your elderly mum, that must be hard. I too am missing numbing my feelings. Let’s continue to throw love at them.

I found my Angel cards (don’t ask) and decided to pull a card - it was The Seer. The message is ‘Look beyond your current situation. Raise your vibration and focus on love’. I’ll take that