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Original poster

How to dull emotions without alcohol

28 replies

Mustdoitt · 29/12/2024 22:31

I’ve been drinking far too much. I’m in the great day = have a drink, terrible day = have a drink camp.

I also feel like I have to drink, because it is Friday, a special occasion, school holidays etc.

I’ve spent too many Saturdays hungover, trying to hide my vomiting and general feeling unwell from my husband. We have two young kids, and we don’t do as much as we should because ‘mummy doesn’t feel well’.

So I’m doing dry January, I’m actually looking forward to it, and hoping I can extend it.

However- I have a lot of childhood trauma. I generally hate myself and I drink so I can feel something else.

I can’t afford therapy (I live somewhere I have to
pay £££ for it).

Wtf do I do?

OP posts:
Bluebootsgreenboots · 19/01/2025 08:23

Well done OP.
Just popping on to say that I use scent to help me manage strong emotions and anxiety. A lavender pillow spray , essential oils, Dr Hauska body lotion, L'occitane hand cream. I find that the impact of the scent helps me re set in that moment. Similar to sweets but better for the teeth!
They are expensive, but with all you're saving on wine .....!
Best of luck OP.

Haroldwilson · 19/01/2025 08:28

I'll bet you could afford therapy using what you used to spend on alcohol. Lots of therapists will agree to do fortnightly or even monthly. It might be tough to afford but balance it against cost of alcohol and consequences - health impacts, risk of career, breaking stuff etc.

If it's really not possible, work with self help books, a journal, free support groups. Until you sort the underlying issue, you'll keep looking for a crutch.

bluejelly · 19/01/2025 08:32

Mustdoitt · 19/01/2025 08:09

Just popping in to post an update, mainly to keep myself accountable.

In general it’s going very well. I feel so much better in myself, full of energy, bright skin etc. I‘ve been sleeping great, waking up without regrets and ready to start my day. Instead of cringing in bed until 10am while my husband deals with the kids, and finally being able to leave the house well after lunchtime once the worst of the nausea has passed like the weekends used to be.

There have been a few evenings when I‘ve felt a bit restless and preoccupied with thoughts of drinking. So I poured myself an alcohol free drink and that was enough to distract me.

The evening of the school event, something happened that opened up a flood of feelings, mainly worthlessness and inadequacy. We came home and I very strongly felt like I wanted to drown myself in a bottle of wine. I opened up to my husband (which was incredibly difficult) and he sat with me while I cried and cried. It was awful, and so, so difficult. But when I woke up the next morning with nothing but an emotional hangover, I knew it was worth it.

I‘m not thinking just in terms of Dry January anymore. I‘m not counting down to Feb 1st to have another drink. I want to keep this going as long as possible. I can’t go back to the way it was.

Oh wow sounds like you are doing brilliantly 🙌🙌🙌
Well done on so many levels!

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