Dry January and beyond

[BulldogMumma]

I couldn't find a dry January thread so thought I'd make one.
I've posted on the alcohol threads before but never see it through. This year I'm determined to do dry January and even beyond.
My drinking has really crept up lately and I know I need to address it. I lost my mum this year due to alcohol and I don't want to go the same way. I've been using alcohol as a crutch since losing my mum but now's the time I stop relying on the wine and take back control.
Anyone else who wants to join me are more than welcome, would be good to have some buddies along the way x

Do you have any friends that enjoy things ings like the cinema, walking, gym etc? Are any doing DJ? These are maybe the best ones to make plans with.

Day 5 here and I already feel a bit better. I was starting to look bloated, middle aged and tired. My youngest child is only 5 it's not fair on any of my kids least of all my 5 year old if I can't keep up with him

What is this weird sensation? Woke up and felt .... kinda rested. As I squished into my pants - yes, even my nickers are too small now, thanks beer - I felt a positive jolt of happiness that I'm not going to drink today.

@tiger2691 that sounds a very very hard gig you've got there. Keep us company -hopefully we can all lean on each other that way we each get propped up

Shattered this morning! I think I was recovering yesterday from the night before. Was so nice to sleep without alcohol last night. I've got work today so up early but can't wait for a nice non alcohol related lie in tomorrow

All my clothes feel tight. Last night I took some measurements & today I took a photo of how awful my skin looks. Excited to see & feel some changes. I'm 45. I need to get better habits
Good luck everyone

I can definitely relate to the bloat, and it's mainly down to wine.
@tiger2691 that sounds really tough but at least you're here and willing to try, you've got us to help you along the way.
I'm back at work on Monday, weekends are a big trigger for me I can't remember the last weekend where I didn't drink.
I remembered something this morning from a couple of weeks ago, I was in the supermarket with my 9 year old, I went to the wine aisle (of course I did!) and my daughter said oh of course we're coming to this aisle. She's 9 and even she's noticed that I drink too much.
I feel like this time I've got the determination to do it, I always lacked that before. That being said I'm under no illusion that there will be hard days along the way.
I'm going to weigh myself this morning and at the end of the month, will be interesting to see how much weight I'll lose

Joining for accountability after spending too many evenings pouring a big glass of wine instead of doing something more productive instead.

I’m looking to reset & push myself to get back to exercise / hobbies.
i know that use wine to switch off in the evenings and it’s soooo unhealthy.

I have some rhubarb sparkly nonsense & some green teas to drink instead & I'm happy with completing 30 days, over Jan / Feb. I doubt that I’ll quit entirely, but today is day 1 and that makes me happy.

@Fundays12 it sounds terrible but no friends that enjoy walks and gym I however love to do those things I’ve happily been doing that since August last year I normally go gym 5 times a week but soon as December hit I was back having the odd drink and all bets were off on holiday.
Not feeling to bad in myself but I want to get back on track and see if I can hit 100 days I think if it wasn’t for Christmas I would have succeeded I don’t know why it’s extra hard during the festivities for me personally and I end up craving the baileys and wine.
Bad habits creep in but it’s only me that can change that now so will be here for accountability and also to listen and relate to others it helps to hear other peoples stories so just don’t feel so alone.
My partner and grown up children also lead very sociable lives so alcohol is always at the forefront but it’s not for me to preach to them and they know I go through phases of not drinking it doesn’t seem to affect them or maybe they hide it who knows I think it’s a personal choice and only we know how it makes us feel.

Good morning all. I had a shocking night of sleep last night. It was like I’d drank a double expresso right before bed, staring at the ceiling and tossing and turning all night. I’m hoping going back to work next week will help with this. Good sleep is one of my key motivators for not drinking.

@tiger2691 I read yesterday that drinking alcohol only postpones the pain. Your post made me think of that saying again, it’s totally true. The alcohol doesn’t make the pain go away, that just the anaesthetic effect, which is temporary. It’s only postponing the pain to the next hangover. The pain needs to be dealt with eventually.

I guess a lot of us are using alcohol to hide from our feelings or as a break from reality.

@BulldogMumma my daughter is the same age and when I told her I was doing dry January this year (and explained what that was) she was really happy and I couldn’t and still don’t understand why because I can’t think how my drinking really has any impact on her? Surely she’s too young to understand wine = hangover the next morning? Plus I don’t drink much in front of her, maybe one glass of wine before I put her to bed. She’s only seen me drunk once or twice in her whole life and then I was not aggressive or falling over or anything. So it surprised me when she had such a happy reaction to it. I thought she’d be indifferent. Maybe she associates me going out with drinking because almost all my social get togethers involve alcohol but I’d be amazed if she has genuinely made that connection and thinks I’ll be at home more as a result.

Have you looked at local woman's walking groups in Facebook? Most regions have them and they definitely have lots of woman who seem to favour outdoor activities over alcohol. I enjoy baileys at Christmas time or in December but it's the only time of year I would ever drink it. It's my tipple of choice on Christmas eve.

Managed last night without any problems. So onto day 3 for me. I slept terribly, I'm going to have to set a time limit on coffee I think!
Well done to all of us, and remember if it was easy, there'd be no need for Dry January to exist!

I’m actually not on social media @Fundays12 that was another addiction constant scrolling 😂 I’m happy to do a lot of things alone I actually enjoy the peace.
I just wish people were not so judgmental when you bring up the fact you’re not drinking maybe I need better friends!! 😆 the last time i was abstaining I got made to feel like an alien!! But they have only known me as the party girl so maybe in time opinions will change as I can’t hold that title think I need to retire that position time to not care and put my own health and needs first.

Checking in for Day 2. Feel loads better for a day off the sauce after a fortnight of gin and prosecco. Good luck everyone!

Morning everyone. Slept much better last night and think I'll probably be able to shift this cold soon. I'm a little less confident today because generally I'm feeling better (less tired and hungover) than yesterday and when I feel ok that's when I want to drink.

I think I need to just take it day by day rather than looking at a full month stretching out ahead of me, that seems too much.

Morning everyone, checking in for day 2. I actually feel more tired than yesterday, but that's normal for me after a heavy night on alcohol, Hogmanay.
I'm working today, at 10, and planning to eat well today.
Freezing cold outside but lovely and sunny so I'll get the dog out a lunchtime.
I feel safe enough today, I know Saturday will be the challenge so I've invited family for lunch and I'll do a big hot lunch, then relaxing night.
Back to today though, we can do this.

@ThriveIn2025 It's more about distraction than the pain, and my perverse logic that due to my disabilities I've been forced to give so much up and at my age (62) why should I stop drinking beer - what is/ would there be left to do, sort of thing. I was also massively triggered early last year by a very big family, umm , situation, that is largely unresolved and has led to my estrangement from one of my children and by default, also from the young grandchildren. Before that my drinking was at a level I was content with.

On days when I drink I am drinking 20 units plus, I know alcohol inside out, all the cons, but still I drink to excess. Whilst in rehab, back in 2001 going forward I done all the alcohol education stuff, all the one to one and group therapy. Separate to rehab I had 8 years, on and off with a forensic psychologist, related to my childhood and my abusers, chronic depression since childhood (started in 1972), suicidal ideation and attempts, plus I partook in very painful group psychotherapy. In rehab I discovered Buddhism, yoga and meditation, I am very grateful for that.

I'm also extremely fortunate in that my wife and I are soulmates, but we are also co-dependant, which is less good overall. My wife is at least is teetotal, and has been for nearly 20 years, she of course, has her own other complex issues.

I've always said I have a death wish, I dont really like life much, but since the pandemic my newly acquired anxiety seems like one curveball too many.

@TimeForNosecco I read somewhere that said people who make you feel bad about not drinking do so because it holds a mirror up to their own drinking habits and they do t want to face it. Not sure how true it is

@fuzzylegs33 taking it day by day is the approach I'm going for. A whole month sounds overwhelming so I'm going day by day

A friend of mine took an hour by hour approach for the first couple of weeks.
She says when she was really quite desperate for a drink she would bargain with herself.
She would think ' I can't have one now, but if I still want it in an hour, I can have it.
By the time the hour was up, she'd forgotten about it, had moved on to something else.
It broke the habit drinking for her.
Hope I've explained that properly😆

Yeah was thinking about this:

A. Today I feel good - good enough to have a beer or six, because my body can take it

B. Today I have a hangover - omg my poor body can't take it

The reason we think we can drink because we don't have a hangover, is because we don't have a hangover, ie our body is healthier.

Is there anything you enjoy doing in your spare time? Do you like art, reading etc? ?if so order yourself a new book or art set as a treat. Do you have any non drinking friends that enjoy the cinema or walks?

It maybe that you have outgrown your friends in some way. If they still see you as a party girl it shows they haven't grown past that stage. I had that issue as I was a huge party girl but once I had kids I largely stopped being the party girl and some friends and even family couldn't accept that. I focused on the friendship that were fine with me not being the party girl anymore and build up hobbies with these people instead. I enjoy my own company but do find having someone I can say lets meet at 9 am on sat morning to hike or paddle board makes me accountable and stops me drinking the night before.

I’d love to know anyone’s techniques for those moments of temptation. Do you have a mantra you tell yourself? I am going out to dinner this weekend and there’ll be drinks available. Any tips for resisting even when it’s waved in your face? No one will care if I do or don’t but I need to resist caving and saying “oh go on a small one” in the heat of the moment. I could drive but it would be a very short trip so almost pointless getting in and out the car. Plus I need to learn to handle these situations!

Reading is my thing but it's a challenge these days, due to early onset cataracts and possible macular degeneration - two different opticians have two different views on that. I read everyday, have for decades, always a trashy novel (at bed time) or if I can get it some translated scandi noir, plus some often heavy duty non fiction stuff on the go. When I didn't drink for over 2 years all I did was stay indoors, became a hermit and read. I lost contact with many people, because I couldn't/ wouldn't go in a licensed place, because I would end up boozing. Previously my social scene was the gym, swimming pool, yoga classes and cycling etc, a naff spine eventually put paid to that.

I like playing records/ the whole audiophile thing but again deafness gets in the way. After waiting an age for my ENT outpatient appointment, then an age for my audiology appointment, its finally come through, so I'm hoping for a quick turnaround on some hearings aids.

As the days draw out I'll be doing far more walking.

@Comeonicandoit if it was a social situation I'd tell my friends I'm doing Dry January, my friends would accept it and move the conversation on but if you feel like you might cave you could say you're on antibiotics or something.

Day 6 here and not been tempted. Helps that I have no money to waste this month. Biggest thing that's hit me is the fatigue, I'm absolutely knackered all the time. Just got to push through it I guess.