On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining, no judging, keep on being strong, new thread autumn 2024

[Nowstrong]

@Amdone123, @Freezingfeetwarmheart , @Bigbus,@Flumpywoo , @FiveShelties , @ForeverTipsy, @Hohofortherobbers,@Jbob1976,@walliedug,

Wanted to post and old thread wouldn't let me, so took the plunge...
Please tag everyone, don't want to leave anyone behind.

Still AF here and even starting to enjoy it. Nearly 2 months. Will write proper post later..
Hope you are all doing well. Stay strong. Wet vibes, 'cos it's raining.

@ForeverTipsythat is an excellent analysis and one that I will often think about. It’s true. However long, or short, being sober outweighs our drinking.
Will hang on to that. It is a very healthy way of looking at our progress.
Thank you.

Just wow! That’s amazing and a real incentive to keep going 😊

Yeah for me at least £30 a week of supermarket booze and probably similar in the pub. So easily £50 a week and here we are in week 33, so £1650 richer or thereabouts.

I passed a major hurdle today. Went to one of my favourite florida restaurants where they make the best margarita I have ever had (my absolute favourite cocktail). I ordered a mockarita. Still had a lovely time, enjoyed the food, and ordered a dessert as I had calories to play with. Was so happy I wasnt even tempted by a normal marg. And definitely saving a fortune on this trip - would usually have 2-3 margaritas a day, they are up to $20 each. Honestly spent nearly $1000 on booze the last time we did this trip which is horrendous

@HorrorFan81 how's the margarita-dodging going? You've done sooooo well to get this far!! Hope you're still having a brilliant hangover-free holiday, and WOW what a lot of money saved ! Does your partner still drink?

It's our wedding anniversary soon, and we're going away for a few nights with the kids start of next week (they go back to school later where I am; eldest not till 8th, so we make the most of cheaper Airbnb places). Aiming to make it an activity/hiking break to keep grumpy teens off screens...and me off the booze! Not that I've been on it much lately at all as had a horrible cold and cough that's kept me up all night 😫 So not fancied it. Thinking of sharing a bottle of cremant with DH for our anniversary next Monday, then that'll be it for a long while, maybe...

Its going great thanks! I honestly didnt think it would be possible but I am having an even better time not thinking about the next drink and never being hungover or dehydrated (which is always miserable in this heat and I also had some 🤢 moments on roller coasters previously when id drunk the night before)

Activity break sounds amazing - we are looking at similar for next year

Have a lovely anniversary and enjoy that bottle 💕

Hi all. Pop in & out on here, catch up with posts now & then. Hope you're all doing well.
Had a few drinks last night & just feel deflated today. Was the first time in a while. But today has reminded me why I prefer not drinking!

Hey @ERN79 nice to hear from you. Yep, sometimes we need to drink to remind us why we don't! Sorry you're feeling deflated today, hope tomorrow is better for you.

Thanks @ForeverTipsy
I'm ok, I struggle with bad anxiety after drinking. Currently just trying to convince myself I've no need to be anxious & trying to get through to bedtime!
Just isn't worth the aftermath for me these days.

Hangxiety is real! Hope you have a better tomorrow @ERN79

After a wobble week, I've made a point to stay completely sober for the last couple of weeks. I don't feel physically or mentally better as such but more relieved that I made good choices and the wobble didn't turn into a backslide.

Here's to staying o the sober bus

Thanks @BezMills
Its not as bad as usual today thankfully. So that's something. Trying to just ignore the thoughts!
Well done staying sober. I'm joining you again!

I constantly go over the events of the night, bearing myself up about them. Even though they're not bad!
Today I just keep thinking I was too chatty! Rabbiting away to some people I knew 🤦‍♀️ That was as bad as it gets, remember the evening, wasn't daft.
Then didn't sleep well, so was tired this afternoon. Felt like I couldn't nap as what would the husband think 🤦‍♀️
Completely blooming irrational!
Got a lot to answer for has alcohol.
I've been off the booze for a couple of months, and the peer pressure to have a drink even in my mid forties is ridiculous. Drank last night & someone commented 'glad you're drinking again ya boring bastard' I mean 🤦‍♀️
Thanks for letting me get that off my chest!

Weirdly, I don't really relate to the hangxiety quite a few on here get. Sounds horrible. Totally relate to what you were doing yesterday tho @ERN79, in the days when I'd drink too much on a night out. Would always ruminate the next day that I'd been too chatty, over-shared, was too loud and annoying etc. I'm also mid-forties and can imagine one of the old crowd I used to drink with making the boring bastard comment!

Tbh I'm ruminating quite a bit lately. Usually over perceived criticism or rejection. Struggling with low mood, internal hyperactivity and feeling overwhelmed, so I'm starting counselling again next Monday. Not been for three years and find it really helps. Alcohol tends to stop me overthinking, which is one of the reasons I do it. But l know it's not a healthy coping strategy long term, hence joining this wonderful gang at the start of this year.

If you drink to stop over-thinking, what do you do instead? I'm reading quite a bit atm. Been under the weather so no energy for exercise, but am off hiking in the rain in Wales with the family today for a few days. Hoping that helps the old MH.

Keep on keeping on guys (we need a nickname I feel ? Moderators ans Abstainers doesn't exactly have a ring to it! 😆).

@ForeverTipsyI don't usually over think to the point its a problem. I like to be organised & plan, but not an over thinker to the point it affects my day to day life. Its just the hangxiety for me. I'm not generally too anxious, it's literally just when I drink.
It can take me days to get over it sometimes. Catastrophising over minute bits of my night, which in reality weren't important! Worrying what people think of me, when in reality again they don't care!
I know in my head that its ridiculous. But God its hard to convince yourself that.
I feel like I've let people down in the aftermath, like the husband & my kids. Daft I know. Irrational guilt!
I don't feel like its worth it anymore.
But its very hard to say you're not drinking isnt it, the boring b@stard comments etc. I'm 40 odd, why do I care what people think?! FFS.

Sorry for the rant... Enjoy your day out!

And will have a think on a nickname 🤔

@ForeverTipsy I can really relate with the rumination. Since I’ve stopped drinking It’s become quite a battle and I realise now how much I used alcohol as an anaesthetic. My mood is pretty up and down too. Probably in part that I’m now having to face these issues sober but also my poor brain chemistry is having to right itself after too many years of bingeing. Im also going through a book a week at the moment 😄 thank god for kindle £1 books - even if a lot of them are crap!

@ForeverTipsy i find yoga really helps me. I’ve studied it in a bit more depth because other forms of exercise, while fun, don’t have the same effects on my mental health, and it’s linked to the breathing techniques that are part of a good yoga class. I also started meditating.

I backslide with these things but they do work when I’m disciplined about doing them. If you want to chat more about this do PM me.

Starting my sober September tomorrow. I’m going to see if my joints get less painful. I read something recently about osteo arthritis being caused by low-level inflammation, and as I’ve had a stressful 15 years or so it would not surprise me if I developed some sort of autoimmune or inflammatory disease. Sugar and alcohol are both inflammatory, and booze also brings the stress that ForeverTipsy was describing above, so that’s an additional motivating factor for me.

@AlertCat - I have inflammatory and osteoarthritis and find that not drinking definitely makes a big difference.

Sorry to hear this. About the condition- glad you have found a way to help.

But it sucks, right, these things we love are so bad for us 😆

I know right! 😄

@ForeverTipsy I think exercise helps me the most, also listening to music. I was really lost for a few weeks there after my gym shut down the classes I was going to, and I didn't have any kind of exercise routine.

I remember noticing even as a teenager I'd get really antsy if I hadn't done any exercise for a couple of days. In the last years I've been exercising pretty consistently at least a couple times a week, and I wouldn't be without it now - I really think that I'll keep after it until my wheels fall off.

@AlertCat good luck with Sober September. That's what got me started last year. I managed about a month, and then went back to the old routine for the rest of the year. However it must have set the scene mentally, because I was more than ready to have another go in January and since then I've been very sober.

I've had a couple drinks on a handful of occasions and been good and drunk once, but honestly I'm so proud and pleased to be sitting at almost 8 months almost completely dry. I'm more and more settling into the idea that this is it for me and booze. I might still have the odd one-off, but I don't need it and as time goes on I want it less and less.

Interesting comments about stress and anxiety. Alcohol was my way of switching off and ignoring all the nagging worries. I didn't realize that alcohol was also causing most of those nagging worries and making me more anxious. Perhaps my biggest gain from not drinking is getting a good night's sleep. When drinking, I always woke up for a couple of hours or so in the middle of the night, when I'd worry and sweat and toss and turn and worry some more. Within a week of stopping, I was sleeping all night and that led to better days. I still get stressed but it's nowhere near as bad as it was and I don't feel on edge all the time.

Hello all - please may I join? Have decided to reduce my alcohol intake. Have been a weekend only drinker for the last 5 years, but weekends are now fri - sun and then with the odd mid week dinner, event etc, I’m drinking for half the week.

The tipping point for me was a really bad hangover a couple of weeks ago. I was sick for about 4 hours over night and felt so, so unwell for two or three days afterwards. I gave myself a bit of a fright and it’s made me really examine my relationship with alcohol. I’d like to drink moderately and have it be the exception not the rule…

So. Here I am! I’ve downloaded the drink aware app, I’ve nominated myself as designated driver on Thursday for a night out and I’m aiming for moderation at a reunion dinner on Friday. Wish me luck 😬

Welcome @harriethoyle 😊

Bonus sober night for me. Was going to have a final whisky, but husband isn’t well so wasn’t having his, and I was engaged in an activity so I didn’t bother. Look at my halo shining 😂