On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining, no judging, keep on being strong, new thread autumn 2024

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@Amdone123, @Freezingfeetwarmheart , @Bigbus,@Flumpywoo , @FiveShelties , @ForeverTipsy, @Hohofortherobbers,@Jbob1976,@walliedug,

Wanted to post and old thread wouldn't let me, so took the plunge...
Please tag everyone, don't want to leave anyone behind.

Still AF here and even starting to enjoy it. Nearly 2 months. Will write proper post later..
Hope you are all doing well. Stay strong. Wet vibes, 'cos it's raining.

Moved onto elderflower and sparkling water after my AF Heineken , then half a packet of dark choc digestives just to feel I had treated my self to something. In bed and so glad I didn't break. Park run tomorrow

Doing well moderating over here. 4 drinks in total over the last 12 days. Will be having another booze free weekend this weekend, so enjoying all the AF drinks recommendations. Well done everyone!

Any tips for moderating on holiday? Flying off for a few days in the sun and don’t want to undo all my progress…

I havent put this into practice as I have decided abstaining is the best thing for me but I read some guidance once that I thought had a few good tips - never drink on night one as you then set the tone for the holiday. Always start the night with a soft drink - you might find after that you don't even want an alcoholic one or if you do, you start a little later. Then the obvious stuff. Alternate alcoholic with soft etc. Good luck!

Good luck @harriethoyle can you find a different soft drink, or mocktail? Something you wouldn't usually have at home so it feels like a holiday treat?
I'd probably choose an AF mojito, something that's fancy and sophisticated....back to the theatre of drinking 🍸 😅. Stick an umbrella and a mint leaf in and you've got a proper event 👌

@harriethoyle I wouldn’t say I am a great moderator on holiday at all, but I would add to what others have said with - don’t have a drink during the day (sounds obvious I know!), I find if I have a glass of wine with lunch, I have another, then a sundowner etc and am at least 3 drinks in before the evening starts.

How's the holiday @harriethoyle ? Just realised it's day 15, so I've broken the back on Sept 👊

Well done @Hohofortherobbers you're halfway there!

We are having a big post summer party this weekend. In my drinking days that would have meant having a drink (or two) whilst getting ready and prepping tbe house. Drinking all afternoon and having a great time. Then as the evening goes on I'd be teetering on the 'too drunk' edge but absolutely wouldn't stop drinking. More than likely wouldn't remember the end of of the night. Would wake up feeling anxious and embarrassed. Possibly with some new bruises from falling over. The kids would absolutely see me in that state. Sunday would be a write off and poor DH would have to do all the post party clean up.

BUT, now - i will enjoy a Trip whilst getting prepped. Have a fun afternoon playing games and socialising. Be a good host, keep everyone topped up and help DH with the food prep. Remember the whole evening where we might get a fire going, maybe some singing. Wake up feeling fresh and clear headed. Help with the clean up and be grateful we have so many lovely friends. No bruises 😀

Am actually looking forward to it more, knowing I wont have to worry about slowing my drinking down or worrying if I am getting too drunk or if the kids will notice or if I should have a soft drink (I wouldnt). I can jusy enjoy the day without this constant voice in the back of my mind. It was exhausting!

Well done everyone, sounds like lots of progress and noticing lots and lots of sober positives!

I decided to do a low alcohol September instead of completely dry. Had 8 units Fri celebrating our wedding anniversary, and 4 units yesterday enjoying a couple of glasses of red wine at the pub with a friend. All intentional, and had had a dry days before/will have minimum 7 days going forward. Had a pint of soda water and lime before the red wine yesterday, and that really helped. Think that'll be my pub tactic going forward; enjoy one of those then decide if I really fancy a drink or not. Easier to order another soft drink when you've already had one.

Finally got round to watching Rain in my Heart the other night with DH. Utterly heartbreaking and shocking. I've suggested it to some friends who are sober curious. Vanda reminded me of my mum 💔 (my mum died a long time ago, and alcohol was a big factor). Grateful I don't have those monsters in my head/past and don't rely on alcohol. So so sad for those who do though.

P.s yes yes to enjoying the Theatre of Alcohol! I had an ice-cold Kombucha in a fancy wine glass this evening!

Oh and I hit 7 months today! Can't quite believe it

Nice one @HorrorFan81! I’ve no doubt you will breeze through your party.

@ForeverTipsy I’m with you on a low alcohol September.

We’re gonna need a new thread soon.

So holiday is almost done. I’m driving home from the airport today and will be abstinent for the rest of the week, save for potentially a glass of wine on Friday night at the in laws.

I wouldn’t say abstinence has been brilliant 😬 alcohol free beer was TWICE the price of normal beer but I did stick to small glass sizes, alternated with water and never opened the disastrous second bottle. So I probably drank less and more mindfully than I would have even a few weeks ago. It’s not a win but it’s a small step in the right direction.

That's a great achievement @HorrorFan81 how has it been 7 months? That has flown by.

I had a wobbly weekend. Nothing outrageous but I did kind of have to say 'now come on Bez, careful now'. I had a couple beers on Friday night sitting in watching Bake Off, then had 1 with lunch at the club on Saturday, same on Sunday. Monday night there was one in the fridge so I had one there too. So not really high volume but I did give a big side-eye to myself for four days in a row.

Tuesday was a day when I really could have had a whisky but didn't. It was the anniversary of the last time I saw my mum before she died suddenly a couple weeks later. I was really sad all day and ate ALL the comfort food after work.

I guess it's one of those ones where if I hadn't just had a bit of a slippy weekend, I definitely would have raised a glass to my mum, but I just thought better of it given that would make it 5 in a row and I don't like that at all.

Well done Bez and hugs about your mum.

I'm sorry about your mum @BezMills but well done for avoiding the booze. I did enjoy you side eyeing yourself 😀

I realised tonight that I have a definite trigger I need to avoid on Saturday which is making my famous margaritas. Its my favourite drink of all time and I make an amazing one. The thought of going through the process and making them for other people is making me feel so uncomfortable. Absolutely no issues opening wine, pouring a beer etc but just cant shake that margarita up. Doubt anyone will care and actually have some Moth margaritas in the fridge if anyone wants one. Not a single thing has bothered me so far but that definitely has me feeling a certain way

Can I join please?
I’ve been drinking for 40+ years. I’ve been lying on the sofa all day feeling ill due to a hangover. I drank a bottle + of wine last night on my own watching TV. I do have a drink most nights but not a bottle. I also binge drink occasionally. I’m ashamed of my lack of control and I hate feeling sick. I’ve got to stop, I’ve never been able to moderate. I’m worried about my health. I’m not greedy when it comes to food but I am with alcohol. Wine o’clock is very ingrained. I need to change my habits.

Welcome @Grandmashorty ! We have ALL been there.

@HorrorFan81 I have to admit I absolutely love margaritas too, especially frozen ones. Comes from spending time in Texas where they are especially awesome. Well done though for recognizing the trigger and removing it. Hope you have a great party, and enjoy feeling clear headed throughout and the next day.

Welcome @Grandmashorty.

I’m still pootling along on my moderation train, and have had a low alcohol September so far, only had 5 drinks all month and 15 dry days. I’m having a champagne afternoon tea today with my friend for her birthday which I am looking forward to, so today won’t be a dry day. My goal for that will be to not carry on drinking when I get home, and stop at 2 glasses of bubbles.

Happy Friday everyone.

Back to week day absence after holiday blow out. DH birthday meal tonight so I’ll split a bottle of wine but aiming to be dry for the rest of the weekend…

I’m going to a festival for the weekend. It would never be a heavy one but I feel sad not to be able to try the decent craft beers and a camping glass of red!

Hi all, been meaning to message all week. Sorry to hear about your wobbly weekend last weekend, and feeling sad about the last time you saw your mum. When did you lose her? I lost mine over 13 years ago now but still hurts. Wouldn't love to have a pint with her down the local.

Good luck for the party tomorrow @HorrorFan81 . Will you just not serve margaritas? I hate tequila so can't relate!

How was the champagne afternoon tea? Sounds delicious! I've just checked my apps and I too have had 15 dry days this month, which I'm pretty pleased with tbf. Think my New Year's resolution will be to track for the whole year, so I can see the full picture (I was completely dry Jan-April then tracked in May...but didn't track all summer, which I regret. Was probably drinking way too much and didn't want to admit it).

@AlertCat have a great time at the festival!

Welcome home @harriethoyle and welcome to the thread @Grandmashorty - you'll get lots of support here! Are you going to use any apps, listen to podcasts, read books etc whilst cutting down?

Anyone going to do Sober October with me?

Can I please join you all?
Am moderating here with an aspiration to be AF.

I have a big social event tonight that I have to go to. I’m completely exhausted after a stressful week at work and in life.
And I can’t see myself abstaining completely tonight - I just don’t think I’ll muster the energy otherwise.
So, am thinking I’ll limit myself to two drinks and then hit the lime and soda.
Then make an Irish Exit as early as possible.

Posting here for some accountability. Hope that’s ok.

Welcome to our newcomers 👋 there's always someone to chat to here.
I braved the pub last night for a leaving do and did not drink. Another Friday night challenge overcome. 😇

Oh hello again @StrongLikeMamma

Top tip is have one AF drink on arrival before your two drinky drinks