On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining, no judging, keep on being strong, new thread autumn 2024

[Nowstrong]

@Amdone123, @Freezingfeetwarmheart , @Bigbus,@Flumpywoo , @FiveShelties , @ForeverTipsy, @Hohofortherobbers,@Jbob1976,@walliedug,

Wanted to post and old thread wouldn't let me, so took the plunge...
Please tag everyone, don't want to leave anyone behind.

Still AF here and even starting to enjoy it. Nearly 2 months. Will write proper post later..
Hope you are all doing well. Stay strong. Wet vibes, 'cos it's raining.

After my four AF days I shared a bottle of wine with my husband. This was planned and less than a 'normal' Friday evening. I am really quite pleased with myself at the moment.

My plan is to have wine today and tomorrow and then Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday AF. We are away Thursday to Sunday so a few drinks over that period but no stupid drinking.

Have a great week-end everyone.😁

Well done, that's good work and well done on the 12 days AF too by the way. You probably haven't read the whole thread/previous thread but I'm doing sober October and only breaking it for today as it was pre-planned. I don't like beer, which is a shame as I know there are good AF options but maybe I'll try an AF gin, that's a good idea. I'll be back to report tomorrow how I got on.

Morning all! As predicted it's been all "oh how strange, you not drinking " and "oh go on, have just one". But, I'm staying firm and determined and haven't given in. Yet. Hopefully won't.
Will report back later during my stay.
Sending best of British positive vibes to all. Stay strong.
P.s. @Amdone123 and @Jbob1976 how are you fairing?

Hi everyone - have returned from Bordeaux and had an amazing time. I enjoyed lovely wine and 1 or 2 cocktails. I didn't get giddy or make a tit of myself or have any hangovers - so a big win for me. Did come back with a cold though. Upon my return I have received a box of wine, so I opened one yesterday and will finish it off today, the rest is going to be put away for the festive period. Back to AF1 tomorrow.

Hello I just wanted to say I’m Bigbus - for some reason when the new thread was started it used another username of mine when I first posted and now it won’t let me change it for this thread! So now I’m Dr Froggy x

I had a bit of a blip last night - went for a drink with a friend - shared two bottles of wine between us which is more than enough but then she bought another one and the wine monster was awake and I drank half of it with her so now I feel rough. Luckily I didn’t do anything stupid or forget anything but I hate hangovers and it just reminds me that I am poisoning myself!

Glad you managed to stay strong @Nowstrong and not drink just because others questioned it, well done.

@DrFroggy ah we all do it. You'll feel much better tomorrow and can start again.

My night went well and although I'm tired this morning because you get rubbish quality sleep after drinking and I still woke up early annoyingly, I don't feel hungover...yay! We had such a lovely night and I felt tipsy/drunk but not to the point where the room is spinning or I'm staring into my drink thinking I need to go home. I had some water in between some drinks and we ate, so it didn't go straight to my head. It was worth it!

Hi everyone, sorry for not posting for a few days.

I have been keeping up with everyone's messages and holding you all in mind. I'm on day 14 of being alcohol-free for Sober October and doing ok. Bought lots of nice soft drinks, hot chocolates and AF 'wine' to enjoy in the evenings on the weekend. DH went out in town with old mates and intended to stay sober, but failed miserably! So predictable. He cannot resist.

Jealous of a holiday in France! I'm off to Switzerland soon and can't wait. Only for a couple of nights in November, but visiting a dear friend (we will share a bottle of fizz I'm sure!). @Nowstrong how's it going with the sister? She sounds just like mine. I get stubborn and stay sober just to annoy her haha!

Monday was AF and I intend Tuesday and Wednesday to be the same. What is weird I can have one or two measures of whisky or gin and not drink anymore, but I never only have one glass of wine!

Morning all. Checking in for my AF days Tues,Wed, Thurs. Well done those of you staying strong on those nights out.

Hello, can I please join?
I have been AF for 16 days now, which is the longest I think I've ever managed and so far apart from the odd moment I haven't actually missed it.
I have found going to the shops and not picking something up quite difficult, the temptation is very much there so I'm avoiding going in where I can manage it, which long term isn't sustainable but I want a bit more time under my belt before opening up the opportunity more.

I have several social occasions coming up and I'm not sure how to navigate not drinking and going out, I think mocktails will be the way forward possibly.

Welcome @Inthelastchancesaloon - we are a friendly and supportive bunch. Well done on your 16 days (I'm doing sober October so on day 15). Yep, staying away from the booze aisle in the supermarket is a good tip!

Has anyone been following this thread:

I am a high functioning alcoholic - AMA | Mumsnet

Some great reflections and advice (along with the usual few horrible comments).

Just reading it now @ForeverTipsy . It's a good motivator, a very honest OP

Still reading that thread, this poster's comment really resonated with me:

"And your brain is very good at persuading you to do the things it believes it needs, by feeding you the thoughts you can use to justify carrying on drinking"

I have little justifications that pop into my mind between 5pm-7pm when I've decided a night is going to be AF. I was fighting them off with brute force this evening. Would have caved in if I hadn't posted here this morning for accountability. I'm not going to lie to you all and I don't want to let myself down. So I did not drink.

Hiya everyone! I posted a couple of times on the last thread I think but even when quite still followed. I had massively reduced my drinking from 1-2 bottles every other night. Last week wasn’t the best, I have no idea why I struggled so much. It led to four nights off the trot drinking, leading to me not exercising, cancelling plans etc. Anyway dusted myself off and have been AF mon and Tuesday. Planning on staying of the drink as much as I can until my holiday in just under two weeks. Really hoping I can do it! I’ve also been invited to a health check with GP but I’m terrified t have my bloods done incase my liver function is way out! Keep going everyone!

Morning all! 2 months AF today, hurray! I've stood up to emotional blackmail and remained firm in my AF determination. Actually had to listen to a slurred speech about how silly I was being, but hey ho...
If anything I'm even more determined now.
I might have a glass of wine from time to time, but I'm going to tread that path very carefully. Still got 2 days here, so being very careful because my patience is wearing thin.
Sending strength to all. Am reading the thread but can't seem to tag on my phone

Hope everyone's doing well this evening. Tough day in work today and one which typically made me want to get a bottle of wine. But have fought that urge (although substituted the wine with a pack of jelly snakes 🤣) and am now tucked up in bed to read for a bit and get an early night. Sleep is definitely a better cure for a long stressful day than wine. Or at least that's what I keep telling myself.

Go me! Verbal tea and a pint of water. I even went in a shop to post a delivery at 7pm, a shop I could have bought wine in. Looking forward to an early night AF

Hey all, well done on the jelly snakes and verbal tea ... ! 😉 I think I drink far too much verbal tea and it gives me verbal diarrhoea 🤣

An early night is definitely better than a hangover for work stress. Keep going.

@nowstrong my phone is crap at tagging too, but a huge well done on two whole months sober!! Incredible, are you very proud? Urgh to comments from your sister (mine would be the same - it says more about them than us. My alcoholic big sister is probably envious of my resolve and sober abilities, tho would never say that).

I'm having a couple of large glasses of AF red wine tonight. Not going to lie, I am looking forward to the 1st November when it can be a proper one (in Switzerland).

Keep on being strong guys - we've got this!

Hi - I dip in and read this thread periodically. My wine consumption has crept up in the last 2 years (coinciding with a number of difficult things going on in my life). I've recently heard that relative needs a liver transplant, so I'm aware I need to get a grip on this. Last week I had 1 AF day. This week I've had 2. I don't drink to blackout or even get drunk, but I can drink 2 large glasses of wine of an evening easily. Every night, that adds up to about 40 units a week which is terrifying. I use the mydrinkaware app to track my drinking so I don't kid myself about how much I have had.

I'm on 25 units in the last 7 days, with 2 days AF. I'm pleased. Next week I'm aiming for 3 days AF.

Well done @cuttingback84 . I hope you feel better for reducing your intake. Can I ask if your unwell relative was a drinker ?
I'm here, AF day 3, with wine in the cupboard too, so feeling steely strong 💪 . I'll drink tomorrow, but will check back in for at least 3 days AF next week

Day 18 and it's going well, I was just wondering if anyone had suggestions on things to read about alcohol/ being AF? I've seen naked mind a lot are there any other suggestions?

Have you read 'the wine o'clock myth'?

Just reporting back that I only managed 3 of my planned 4 AF days this week. I don't feel too bad about it though as I could see it coming. My DH was off work this week. He's normally AF 4 nights, while historically I've been knocking the cans back every night. He never complains or comments (I'm not in any way a disruptive drunk), but gradually I've been managing to tether myself to his nights off. This week, because he was on holiday, he only did two AF nights. I sailed through one of his drinking nights, AF free myself, but the other - well we had a massive, stressful DIY project, ultimately successful, but I had to - in my mind - "reward myself". Hey ho. A few months ago, just two AF days a week seemed barely achievable. I think I'm doing well. I'm not going to sabotage myself with self-criticism.

I read the "I'm a high functioning alcoholic AMA" thread. That was/could be me. What I found weird was how obvious it was that the critical posts, however kindly meant, would serve no function but to entrench the OP's behaviour. Do people think we're stupid? That we don't have access to the same medical info as they do? It's getting into the psychological right place to take action, like lining up snooker balls. Once you can begin to see what might be possible, you can break free - but shaming and criticising ain't going to get you there.

I'm so glad I reached a place where I have the will and the capacity to make this change. Thanks very much to my DH and reading the threads here.

The book by Claire Pooley is very good 👍