On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining, no judging, keep on being strong, new thread autumn 2024

[Nowstrong]

@Amdone123, @Freezingfeetwarmheart , @Bigbus,@Flumpywoo , @FiveShelties , @ForeverTipsy, @Hohofortherobbers,@Jbob1976,@walliedug,

Wanted to post and old thread wouldn't let me, so took the plunge...
Please tag everyone, don't want to leave anyone behind.

Still AF here and even starting to enjoy it. Nearly 2 months. Will write proper post later..
Hope you are all doing well. Stay strong. Wet vibes, 'cos it's raining.

I remember how torturous it could be trying to spin out that first pint so it didn't look too bad.

Big milestone for me today! 6 months ago I absolutely could not have imagined that a) i would have gone this long without drinking and b) i could be this happy about it. 3 days into my first sober holiday and I am actually having a better time than usual as I am not thinkng about when I can have a drink, or how I can keep drinking, or recovering from drinking. I am just having a brilliant time with my family with no booze cloud hanging over me (not that I recognised it as a bad thing at the time- I just thought i enjoyed a drink on holiday and because I wasnt getting hammered every day it wasn't a problem). This freedom is amazing 🙌

@HorrorFan81 Huge Congratulations! ❤️ Great to hear about the holiday too. It's a bit of a revelation, isn't it? All the worrying I'd done about how I'd manage on holiday, nights out, celebrations etc without booze turned out to be unnecessary. There's this whole other, better life that doesn't need alcohol in it.

@HorrorFan81 wonderful! Congratulations. I couldn’t imagine getting to that point myself. Very inspirational!

Huge huge congratulations @HorrorFan81 !! What drink will you have to celebrate?! A nice non-alcoholic cocktail, or are you now at a point where you don't associate any drink with celebrating? I'm so glad you're having a great holiday and not feeling deprived in the least, and are focusing on allll the positives!!

I'm proud of myself for yesterday. 5 out of 6 people got drunk (a couple really drunk), and spent a fortune at the bar. I spent £8.50, moderating exceptionally well, paced myself, had lots of water, and had a brilliant time! Definitely learned to have fun with just a few drinks now. Yay.

Im off on holiday tomorrow so I'll bow out now and see you on the other side folks

Congratulations 🎊 on your achievement @HorrorFan81

Thanks all!

Yes @LillyPJ I can't believe I spent so long believing I couldn't enjoy a sober holiday - but as it happens it's even better!

@ForeverTipsy I'm not fussed about any particular drinks to celebrate but I am definitely eating more desserts than I ever used to since I have so many more calories to play with! Had the most amazing cinnamon roll yesterday. Warm and gooey and so so yummy

@Addictforanex I definitely couldn't imagine it either when I first stopped drinking - i was literally tsking it a week at a time and never intended for it to be forever but I feel like I am out the other side now and don't know why I would ever go back - i am genuinely happier now

Have a great holiday @Hohofortherobbers !

Must be something in the air as I’m back up to 2 bottles of wine a week as well. I’m off on holiday in a few days, but work starts again on Monday 1st September, and as it’s a Monday and the 1st and ‘back to school’ I am thinking of doing the month dry. Holiday will be moderate but allowing. We’re going to be quite remote so for me once it’s gone, it’ll be gone, so I’ll have to be careful. Camping, so that tends to be a natural moderator for me, nobody likes a wild wee at 2am do they!?

Morning all! Well done @HorrorFan81 ! Happy vacation @Hohofortherobbers . Still AF here, day 4 today. Sleep is getting better. Still feel bloated and tired. In fact have a Dr's appointment on Tuesday to talk about my extreme tiredness. Shall see what he has to say. Might just be leftover second effects of Covid. Might just be getting old. But determined to find out and to fight it
Yesterday was extremely busy and I'm taking it easier today but have lots to do and will be doing my exercises later on this morning.
Extreme heat is easing off (might also be tiring me) and the temperature is just perfect at the moment. Might find the strength/motivation to go for a light hike. But doubt it.
Wishing you all a lovely Sunday. Stay strong!

@AlertCat I hadn’t noticed that about September but I might consider joining you - or doing sober October maybe.

@AlertCat I'm off camping for a couple of nights soon, too, and also had that thought re 2am wees! Will have a small glass or two of red, tops, probably.

My kids don't go back to school till the 8th September, so I'm thinking of getting back on the Sober Train then. Will start using the apps to help again, and thinking of doing 100 days round 2. Think that'll take me to mid-December, where I can reevaluate and decide whether to take another break from sobriety OR take on my toughest challenge yet...carry on and do a sober Xmas?! If I can get through that then Dry January and maybe Feb will be a breeze I reckon. Imagine if I could do 150 or even 200 days in a row?! Unimaginable right now, so we shall see. If not, I reckon I'd be happy to do 100 days, break for a couple of weeks for Xmas and NYE, then restart on 1st January again. Any long stretch of being totally dry is a bonus.

Completely agree @ForeverTipsy , my thinking is similar. I am suffering with a lot of pain in my low back and other joints and part of me will be dismayed if that pain improves if I go dry!! (Alcohol is an inflammatory, so is sugar, and Chardonnay has both.) Obviously the rest of me will be delighted, but I’ll feel like a teenager whose mum was right 🫣

I am suffering with a lot of pain in my low back and other joints and part of me will be dismayed if that pain improves if I go dry!!

Just jumping on to say that only this morning I was thinking how much better my lower back and hip pain has been since quitting 5 weeks ago.

@AlertCat sorry to hear you're in pain. Perhaps you're right re sugar and inflammation...only one way to find out?! I get sciatica from time to time due to an old disc prolapse...fingers crossed both of our backs will be ok camping hey?! I'm only going for two nights and will do plenty of stretching to help.

@Fishfungus well done on five weeks! 👏 Great it's helping reduce pain for you, too.

Thank you @ForeverTipsy. It’s been long overdue having tried moderation for years, always with the same outcome. It feels good this time and actually such a relief to shut the constant chatter in my head of when I could have the next drink. I have only managed all these years to not slide too much into dangerous territory (although it was starting to catch up with me) because I set by myself constant rules and tried to moderate but god it’s been exhausting!

This thread has been a great help and you’re all doing so well, when you read other posters being so candid about their own experiences it really does help.

Good morning gang. I'm just using this space to reflect. Yesterday I went to a dear friend's funeral. She had just turned 50 and died very quickly after being diagnosed with a brain tumour over the summer. All happened so suddenly that I'm still in shock, and although yesterday's service was beautiful, it was also gut wrenchingly difficult. I returned to form and opened a bottle of red wine last night so I could "raise a glass" with DH. I should have had one or two small glasses and called it a night, like I've learned to do over this past 8 months.

However, we shared the bottle...meaning I had acid reflux, my sleep was terrible (it's been bad for a couple of weeks now, but last night was particularly bad), I've woken with a headache and sore throat (which has been brewing under the surface for a while; alcohol has always lowered my immune system and if I drink 2-3 nights a week consistently I always get a cold and sore throat) and generally feel even worse today. Why do we do it? Just hoping I'm not ill for my camping mini-break with the kids from Thursday onwards now :-(

Sorry for the doom and gloom. Just find it helpful to type it all up and get it off my chest. Looking forward to September already.

Morning all! Sorry about your friend @ForeverTipsy. 50 is terribly young. Then again very often any age is too soon.
It has just rained here so the temperature is cooling down. Went to my Dr's this morning for a general check-up (am feeling very tired at the moment, plus renewal of blood pressure prescription) and I'm perfectly fit, was in fact surprised about my very healthy blood pressure, just old (love my Dr., always a kind word 🙄) told me to get back into my routine, prescribed some vitamines, and to make sure that I sleep properly. Have a blood test to take and he said to bring the results with me next time in 6 months' time. He's "that" worried about me. More or less told me to start walking and to stop thinking. I know that he's right. Just a kick up the back side that I needed.
So AF day 6. Tomorrow will therefore be 1 week. 💪
I've lost 2 kilos, but I had put on a bit, so weight is slowly going down, as is the bloating. Eye bags also slowly disappearing.
Will walk to the chemist to get refill and vitamines. It isn't raining that much. Yet.
Still feel tired. But slightly more positive. Have started to re listen to Alcohol Explained 2. So being reminded of the negatives and what it does to the brain. My actual slightly depressive state is being explained. Again. Will take me most probably until AF day 10 to be back to my normal post drinking state of mind.
What a waste of time having slipped back into such bad habits. Plus it happened so easily. Hopefully a lesson well learnt.
Hey ho. Onwards and upwards.
Keep up the good work everyone. Stay strong. Have a great day !

Yes. More and more I’m thinking I either need to accept the downsides of my 1-2 bottles of wine a week, or give it up altogether- the effects last so long that weekend-only drinking, even moderate or light, will impact. Maybe I’ll be dry all year except January 🤣

@Fishfungus well done on 5 weeks.

Yes yes fully agree to it being just a lot easier to be 100% alcohol free rather than having rules. I found it a bit of a mission to get through the first few weeks but it got a lot easier after maybe 8 weeks. Now I'd say I have to dodge temptation maybe once a week, if that. The rest of the time I just don't think about it or care.

In the fridge at the moment I have coconut water, fizzy mineral water, Erdinger 0% and Heineken 0%. The coconut water and fizzy is for my thirst goblin tendencies and the AF beer is if I actually fancy a beer. I find a pint of fridge-cold fizzy water is pretty refreshing, probably more refreshing than a beer (although clearly not as tasty!). When I was doing some gardening in the heat, it really hit the spot.

This is me. I was definitely kidding myself that 1-2 bottles a week couldn’t possibly be causing too many issues. It’s only now that I’ve quit that I can feel the difference, especially how depleted my body feels from those weekend binges. It use to take me a good 4/5 days just to feel normal after the weekend, then of course I’d do it all over again - Absolute madness!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not sailing through this and yesterday was a really challenging day; usual bartering with myself that I could moderate and this time would be so different to all the others! 😁 but I won’t give up trying.

Must admit that I thought that I had it all nailed. Was having an enjoyable glass from time to time and wasn't even thinking about it too much anymore.
Ha!!!! That finished by me going back to nearly drinking daily. So I think it will have to be NONE AT ALL. Which is pretty depressing if you think about it.

I presume that I will spend months and months abstaining. Having a few drinks for one reason or another and then back to non at all. Again.
That is very much like a yoyo diet. But hey ho. The longer I'm without the poison the better.

Today is 1 week AF. I'm nearly back to normal sleep wise and don't feel the need to have a glass at the moment. I'm visiting friends who drink quite a lot this weekend, so will go with my stock of fizzy drinks and AF beer.

New motto : Be prepared.
Raining here. It's quite pleasant. X

I love the motto @Nowstrong ! I am trying to be prepared not only by having AF drinks in stock but also by expecting weak moments and temptation. They can creep up without warning.

@Nowstrong I've just been pondering your comparison to being sometimes sober/doing long spells of sobriety/dry weeks and months to yo-yo dieting. I'd say what we're doing on this thread is much better than yo-yo dieting, because to me the latter ultimately leads to overall weight gain and has the potential to contribute to unhealthy or disordered eating/thinking patterns.

Whereas going sober, no matter how long or short the spell, only has positive outcomes. At least, I can't seem to think of any negative "side effects" of having sober periods.

I just think from now on, however long I live for, I know I will have significantly reduced my alcohol consumption. Whether that's over the next 5, 10, or 20 years. It all adds up. So I'm choosing to focus on all the days I didn't drink, rather than the ones I did, as know the dry ones will far outweigh the wet...

@ForeverTipsy Thanks - that's a lovely way to think about it. I've just done some quick mental arithmetic and think I've saved myself from drinking about 80 bottles of wine so far - about £500 or £600 or 720 units. It's hard to imagine drinking them all.