On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining, no judging, keep on being strong, new thread autumn 2024

[Nowstrong]

@Amdone123, @Freezingfeetwarmheart , @Bigbus,@Flumpywoo , @FiveShelties , @ForeverTipsy, @Hohofortherobbers,@Jbob1976,@walliedug,

Wanted to post and old thread wouldn't let me, so took the plunge...
Please tag everyone, don't want to leave anyone behind.

Still AF here and even starting to enjoy it. Nearly 2 months. Will write proper post later..
Hope you are all doing well. Stay strong. Wet vibes, 'cos it's raining.

I have to be honest with myself and say I still feel like I'm in the danger zone. I'm not sure if I can be moderate. I mean I have in the past (but then we all have at some point before we got a bit too thirsty iyswim). I just don't know if I've gone too far down that path, I just don't know. I definitely have a beer switch that goes on at a certain point. What I don't know is if that can go away, or just be avoided.

The truth is, I'm a bit scared to find out. Part of me would rather stay sober than attempt moderation and fail, then have to go sober sober fr fr. Does that even make sense?

I tried for years to moderate and when I initially stopped drinking in February my plan was to have a break, 'reset' my habits and go back to it but with moderation. However all the reading of quit lit and listening to podcasts has made me realise that for some people (and I am one of those people) moderation just isnt possible. Yes there are people out there who drink moderately but they have usually always drunk that way - its very very rare to be a problematic/binge drinker and then manage to moderate, certainly not forever. I found Alcohol Explained and the podcast Sober Powered (especially episode 20 - Why is it So Hard to Moderate?) really helpful in terms of understanding why moderation was so hard for me.

Personally once I realised my dream of drinking 'normally' was never going to happen (and after a brief mourning period) I felt like a weight had been lifted. I didn't need to keep battling with this 'moderation' ideal. I could just...not drink. And the longer I go without drinking the more I realise I absolutely don't need to drink. I don't want to find a way to just enjoy '1 or 2' - for me there is no point. The thought that will never again have a blackout, never again be hungover, never have another evening where I'm not really concentrating on who I'm with and what I'm doing, all I am thinking is about my next drink or how much I've drunk or how much more can I drink or am I drinking faster than everyone else - is an amazing feeling

Food for thought here. I am mostly moderating at the moment- one bottle of wine over two evenings this weekend is fairly typical, but last weekend I had two, and definitely felt it on the Sunday, which is always disappointing. It feels precarious as a habit, it would almost be easier to just slide all the way back to where I was, 3-5 bottles a week. Like I’m clinging to this point of moderation. My idea of moderation. Not everyone’s idea of it.

And in dry January I stopped thinking about it. That’s back, now, so there is a lot of mental energy being wasted on it.

@AlertCat That's interesting. I'm inclined to agree with @HorrorFan81 that, for me, there would be little point in trying to moderate. It seems like it would be a constant strain and, as you say, precarious. So why do you do it? What do you get out of it? I try to remember what the pleasure of drinking was but I mainly remember how easy it was to drink more and how difficult it was to resist. I loved the taste, obviously, but there are other things AF that I like just as much.

I keep asking myself the same questions. I like wine. The taste and the texture. I like whisky. I like the feeling engendered by the first and second drinks. I get FOMO when my H is enjoying a drink, and sometimes (very occasionally) we go beyond a couple of drinks to tipsy and it’s fun to do together.

OTOH I enjoyed dry Jan after about week 2. So I know I don’t really miss it when it’s off the table. So I don’t know why I don’t just give it up.

2 dry days so far this week.
Tonight will be moderate.
Tracking is very good for my head (and thus body)

Hi, I've been on this thread a few times but not for some months. The wine's creeping back up. Everyday half to three-quarters bottle, I need a reset and I'm posting here for accountability later on. Today I will not drink.

@Hohofortherobbers good for you, just for today!

Thank you @BezMills. Sitting here with a lime soda.

Watching the lionesses while drinking Heineken zero

Come on England!

Great, first day done and dusted. Feeling positive about day 2. Today I will not drink

I was on BrewDog Hazy AF, so good. And our women were amazing!!

You've got this @Hohofortherobbers !

I am one day 162 and never could have imagined getting this far 161 days ago. But I have and feeling amazing for it 💪

Good luck to all those starting out and in the early days, and well done to those 'old hands' (162 days is brilliant!) You're all inspiring. It's Day 88 for me. Like @HorrorFan81 I never dreamed I'd get this far when I started and it was people on here who inspired me to try stopping and then to carry on.

@BezMills@HorrorFan81@LillyPJ thank you for the welcome and support, well done on your AF streaks !!

My streak is a bit smaller than it was (it peaked at just under 6 months), because I had a wee night cap last but one weekend, just the one in the quiet minutes before going up the wooden hill.

I'm not cancelling christmas over it, I just really fancied one, enjoyed it, and left it at that. I am being quite careful now since I consider myself still in the old Danger Zone for a big backslide, but so far so good.

Keep on everybody!

A moderate weekend for me, and I do find it helps having stuff on late afternoon because otherwise, when I’ve done all the jobs, I fancy a beer or a glass of wine. Then once started, I continue until bedtime. If I’m occupied until dinner time I’m much less likely to miss having a drink; my ‘witching hour’ is definitely that 4pm sort of time.

yep, DIY is a big trigger for me. One job, one beer!

Also : walking past the pub at lunchtime when shopping, and Fridays after work, Saturday afternoons if I went 'down town' usually meant pub o'clock too.

For DIY I have moved to AF beer. Lunchtime pub I just avoided walking past the pub until I had that cracked! Fridays after work I've been going and having AF, but it's not as much fun and I've been going much less often. Maybe once a month now, rather than every Friday.

Another good day AF, felt really energetic, went swimming, got lots down round the house. Didn't sleep well last night but not especially tired today. Feeling positive ✨️

Slept better last night, feeling calm and positive today. Again, today I will not drink.

Well done for another successful day! I'm glad you slept better too. It took me a few days but since then my sleep has mostly been wonderful and it makes such a difference to my mood in the morning. It's great to feel less anxious and more energetic.

@Hohofortherobbers well done again.

I have been enjoying much better sleep in general although last night wasn't the best. But even on a crap night, I've gotten 5.5 or 6 of proper rest before the insomnia fairy got to me.

Thank you for the support, just checking in again after a good night's sleep and today I will not drink

Roger that, @Hohofortherobbers today I will not drink.

Well done @Hohofortherobbers - I like the day at a time approach, feels so much more doable than worrying about weeks or months from now

I hit 165 days today, not too far off 6 months. Given that I drank in v early pregnancy (before I knew) and had the odd glass of wine in the last trimester both times, I actually think this will be the longest stretch I have gone without alcohol since I was 13. Which seems 😱😱😱. Still feeling good though. Went to the pub on Friday night with some school mums and stuck to the AF ciders. Headed home around 10 whilst they all went back to one of their houses for more drinks- I woke up feeling good and went to the gym 🏋️‍♀️ whilst I am sure there were some sore heads for the others 😀