On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining, no judging, keep on being strong, new thread autumn 2024

[Nowstrong]

@Amdone123, @Freezingfeetwarmheart , @Bigbus,@Flumpywoo , @FiveShelties , @ForeverTipsy, @Hohofortherobbers,@Jbob1976,@walliedug,

Wanted to post and old thread wouldn't let me, so took the plunge...
Please tag everyone, don't want to leave anyone behind.

Still AF here and even starting to enjoy it. Nearly 2 months. Will write proper post later..
Hope you are all doing well. Stay strong. Wet vibes, 'cos it's raining.

Well done on going to the pub @HorrorFan81, how long was it before you could confidently do that? I'd cave if I went this Friday.
Had a very early night last night as work will be busy today. Slept well and had such vivid dreams. Feeling good, today I will not drink.

Same here @HorrorFan81 I try not to think about the weeks, months or years ahead. It's today I focus on. And today is Day 91 for me which is a quarter of a year! I'm astonished. It's gone so quickly. One big change I've noticed is that I've got a shelf full of mainly AF drinks. When I was drinking wine I was always having to buy more and there was often not much on the shelf. I got into the habit of always buying two or three or four bottles of wine every time I was in the supermarket. Now I only occasionally need to buy drinks. I have an AF drinks every day but it's always just one. Alcohol lures you into drinking more and more - that's its addictive nature. Well done for the 6 months!

So I went to the pub fairly early on but at that point I was just 'off it for a few weeks' which didn't feel scary and after a few moments of...um should I just have a drink...I committed to a lime and soda, shook off the urge and let myself relax and enjoy the evening. It was actually a pub quiz and I was on FIRE and pretty much won the thing for my team 🤣 It definitely helped having something to focus on and not just be sat around chatting, watching everyone else drink. Doing that though showed me that not only could I manage not to drink in a boozy social situation- I could genuinely enjoy myself. Other than briefly in pregnancy I have NEVER done a social situation like that without booze so it was rather like an awakening to what was possible and gave me more confidence for other events. It absolutely doesn't bother me at all now to be around people drinking. I enjoy my AF beer/cider/Trip etc and enjoy the feeling of being in control of myself when people start slurring, shouting and repeating themselves. At which point I make a French exit 😀

So I am keeping track of the financial savings in my sober app and its so much money!! Between the wine, gin and top shelf tequila for the house and the wine and cocktails when out and about - reckon I was easily spending £100 a week. More if me and DH went for a date day in London etc - we'd probably pay a couple of 100 out on booze easy. For my birthday we had lunch time drinks in Borough market, followed by cocktails at a fancy hidden cocktail bar in the afternoon. Then more cocktails at Seven Dials and wine with dinner. Not only did we spend a fortune but I blacked out half the theatre show I was super excited to see 😱🙈

I really wanted a glass of wine tonight but I DID NOT BUY THE WINE and now I’m glad and proud 😆😇

Well done on making A Good Choice! I really fancied a drink in the pub tonight but stayed AF. Little wins and good choices!

Brilliant! I think getting the urge and resisting it is more significant than not getting the urge in the first place. It's like building a muscle or something, so well done!

Totally agree! The more you resist the urge the easier it is to resist the next one as you know you've done it before

So according to my app, I have saved over 100k calories by not drinking since February. I lost 50lbs last year and beginning of this, I reached my goal weight by March. I have stayed the exact same weight since then so I know my current food intake and activity levels are at maintenance. Had I been drinking my usual amount, those booze calories would have seen me gain back 30lbs by now. At least, since I would have had late night crisps and hungover greasy snacks. Its actually mad!

Well done on resisting the wine. I had an early night and slept well. I'm not going to commit to definitely being AF fri and sat yet, but will check in tomorrow anyway.

@Hohofortherobbers yeah I'm out out on Saturday with notoriously drinky drinky friends. It could go either way, but I'm not going to worry about it. One night out out, then no matter what, back on the wagon on Sunday.

@HorrorFan81 I've lost 10kg in 4 months AF from Jan to April. I was counting calories too, but I know from previous book-keeping that I could get through 7000 calories a week of booze easily (that's getting on for a kilo of body fat per week according to some).

So even though my diet is not exactly ideal (typical dinner - delicious beige food and coleslaw), the booze calories are not missed at all!

I’m having wine tonight and I’m allowing the possibility of extra wine. It’s Saturday, my partner’s having a drink, and I have nothing on tomorrow, so I feel it’s ok. This is a conscious choice.

Hey everyone, sorry I've been AWOL. I was enjoying some fairly boozy weekends, not feeling guilty but noticing I was slipping into bad habits again. Have stopped buying alcohol for the house again, as seemingly dh and I can't resist when it's here (he's worse than me, and annoys me buy drinking every eve, getting forgetful then snoring all night).

I very sadly lost a friend this week. Grief is consuming me, so deciding alcohol would make things worse, so avoiding for now. Guess I'm lucky that I drink more to celebrate/when I'm happy. When I'm sad I just cry and sleep.

Anyway, on the wagon for a few weeks now, at least until after the funeral.

So impressed with all of your efforts on here - I've been reading and feeling inspired and galvanised ready for my next 100 days sober in the autumn.

I'm sorry for your loss @ForeverTipsy

Hope you get through the next few weeks ok, sober or otherwise x

Good to hear from you @ForeverTipsy and sorry for your loss.

I went out out out out last night and did have a few drinks but nothing crazy. It was a good night, as a one off, and now I'm back on the sober train!

Sorry for your loss @ForeverTipsy .

I've had a pretty boozy weekend but back on the wagon, today I will not drink.

@BezMills and @Hohofortherobbers Sounds like you been enjoying yourselves. Do you find it easy not to drink the day after?

@LillyPJ I was just coming in to report that, yes I found it very tempting yesterday. I was this close >|< to making an excuse to go to the community club and have a drink (dd8 wanted a little tub of pringles and I almost took her over there and would have had a drink). How ridiculous is that, but that's what I'm like when I'm hanging.

In the end I lasted the day, but had a nightcap just before bed, which turned into two nightcaps. I think that was really interesting, because this is the first time I went out out and actually got good and drunk, and I had a hangover and I wanted to have a hair of the dog, since January. When I had some beers in June I didn't get drunk drunk and didn't really have an issue the next day.

So for me, being hungover is a massive trigger for unplanned drinking and I guess I already knew that, but now it's fresh in my mind again.

With the hindsight, I don't regret going out out and having plenty to drink, but next time I think I'm more likely to just stay completely off it.

Another thing that happened is that I was out with my friend, and she was supposed to be getting home via a taxi with a group from the gym. Well the minibus didn't turn up (unsure what happened there) and the group was about to get on some transport to the next town, which would get her a little closer to home but they still didn't know how any of them would get home. We ended up deciding she could couch it at ours (our thinking was better a definite plan than a vague plan/ no plan), but then her husband insisted on coming over to get her. If I'd just stayed sober, I could have driven her home instead of her DH having to pack the 2yo into the car and driving 30 minutes each way. TBH he strictly didn't have to do that, but her DD was missing her mum before bed so it was probably the right call to just get mummy home rather than having that whole thing again in the morning.

All of that to say, it's just easier not to drink in many ways!

Back on the wagon for realsies now!

Thanks @Hohofortherobbers @HorrorFan81 and @BezMills she was amazing, and young, and it was quick, so all a shock and so so sad.

I find everyone's experiences on this thread SO interesting btw. Fascinates me how our triggers and habits can differ so wildly. I for one cannot bear alcohol the day after I've had one too many (which these days would be a bottle of wine, rather than two). And definitely avoid booze when I'm grieving.

@BezMills yep, so many scenarios like yours on the weekend where it would have just been SO much easier for someone to just be sober and drive. I wonder if we'd drink more if we lived in city centres and didn't need to drive to get everywhere?

I've also been reflecting on just how subjective the term 'moderating' is. My goal, I think, when I joined this thread earlier in the year, was to be able to "take or leave" alcohol. To maybe enjoy one or two glasses, once or twice a month, or just at big social events. I have never thought of myself as a "all or nothing" person, but I'm struggling to stick to those limits (and wonder if they were ever achievable), so maybe I am <shrug>.

Trying not to beat myself up, and to focus on the positives. Like @LillyPJ said upthread , every time we resist the urge to have a drink we are strengthening our muscle memory. I'm more conscious, though have stopped tracking (slippery slope).

How did Saturday night go @AlertCat ?

I'm so sorry @ForeverTipsy , this sounds a tragic loss for you 💔

I find it hard to not drink the first day, I'm not hungover, but I feel edgy and a little panicky, hangxiety I guess.
Having a drink this evening would resolve that for tonight but cause it tomorrow. I need to get the first day done then I feel stronger facing the next day.
What is more challenging this week is the remaining half bottle of wine I know is in the cupboard.
But writing it down in the morning when I'm feeling positive and resolute really helps. I cannot imagine having to report back tomorrow to you guys that I failed.

Sorry to hear of your loss Tipsy and I think your decision is a good one, IME booze doesn’t help with those sorts of powerful emotions.

Saturday night was fun, we stayed outside and watched the bats flying round 🦇

and now dry again at least until Friday.

Morning, a good first day and night, checking in, I will not drink today

Well done! It's a huge step, that first day. All you have to do is repeat that today - just one day, maybe another 13 or 14 hours till bedtime. Do an hour a time if it helps, keep yourself occupied, treat yourself to something (other than drink). Feel proud you achieved something already.

Good one @Hohofortherobbers another one like that!