On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining, no judging, keep on being strong, new thread autumn 2024

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@Amdone123, @Freezingfeetwarmheart , @Bigbus,@Flumpywoo , @FiveShelties , @ForeverTipsy, @Hohofortherobbers,@Jbob1976,@walliedug,

Wanted to post and old thread wouldn't let me, so took the plunge...
Please tag everyone, don't want to leave anyone behind.

Still AF here and even starting to enjoy it. Nearly 2 months. Will write proper post later..
Hope you are all doing well. Stay strong. Wet vibes, 'cos it's raining.

Its a Friday and I'm tracking for the first time in a long time

knowing what I want to leave behind is to me the first step

Ive realised recently that I spent years eating 'low carb', whole food, nothing processed etc. Would tell everyone I didn't eat carbs, I would make healthy food choices 90% of the time. Yet I kept putting weight on and couldnt understand why given I ate so well. Somehow it didn't occur to me that the massive amounts of booze I was drinking actually had calories. Ive since calculated it. Conservatively I was putting away 3500 calories a week on booze alone. 3500!! Thats a gain of 1lb a week even if I was eating perfectly. But for years this just didnt occur to me. Or it did but I absolutely refused to recognise/acknowledge it since that would mean actually thinking about how much I was drinking

Oh and I definitely wasnt 'low carb' given all the booze I was drinking 🤣

Thanks for asking @HorrorFan81 , I had a quiet week. Didn't get to the gym, but stayed completely sober which is what I wanted to do. There is quite a good chance I will join Anna in a wee drinky tomorrow at DDs 8th party, but as I was typing that I thought "but why". She always liked to hang out with me because I was up for a drink at any time, such as Sunday 11am straight after the gym!

Well done @LillyPJ , 10 weeks is a big milestone, you are doing great.

I had a very similar realisation @HorrorFan81 about the booze calories. I was on a calorie counter from January to May and lost about 10kg. I've chilled out a bit since and put on a couple kg but I'm still definitely feeling the benefit! Being able to just cut that many calories in booze definitely helped with the weight loss.

@HorrorFan81 Exactly that! I couldn't understand why I was fatter than my best friend when I had a much healthier diet. She ate cakes and pastries and nuts etc and I rarely did. It never occurred to me that maybe all that alcohol was to blame. ( Of course, I knew that alcohol was calorific but somehow I didn't think that applied to the alcohol I was drinking!)

@LillyPJ glad I'm not the only one 🙈

I like to claim I don’t have a sweet tooth, but actually my favourite wines (Chardonnays) are pretty sugary. I can taste it more now that I’m not drinking every day.

Checking in after being away on holiday, great to see updates from you all.

I ummed and ahhed, but after a pretty stressful journey and had a panic attack at the airport in security I decided it was going to be really hard not to drink at all while we were away. Where we went it was a place hard to avoid it (it’s a place very famous for its wine) so that is a thing I will think about in future when booking a holiday destination, though we would really like to go back.
I’ve updated TryDry today. 26 days off, 11 days I drank everyday, but now back to keeping off it. I lost 4kg by calorie counting over that 26 days, and I need to lose some more, but now I know I can do it. Off to the gym today before going back to work tomorrow!

How have you all been getting on with the heat? I need to stock up on some more lovely drinks for sitting in the garden while it is still nice.

How are you doing @Talkinpeace ?

@NeedANewOne25 sounds like a lush holiday tbh!

We had DD 8th birthday party, lots of screaming kids, and I did wonder if my lovely friend Anna would lead me astray. Instead, glory be, we were both good influences and stayed sober. So she was able to go running later and I could do some taxi service later on my side. My social battery was sorely taxed but I am sure being sober helped coping with that.

It is funny because one of my drivers and triggers for drinking is social anxiety, but at some point the booze turns from a plus and social lubricant to a negative. Honestly even though it's more difficult sometimes, to mingle with the people without half a beer buzz on, I am finding the Good Choices Sober Path does help later on. Even if that is a case of realising that the night has run its course and it's time to call it.

As for weight etc I haven't been watching my eating lately and the snack counter has climbed along with my weight (a little), but staying off the booze definitely still helping.

I'm OK. Thank you.

I am still tracking exactly what I drink normally - which is rather scary,
but its starting to put my head into the place where cutting back will be much easier.
Last night it even made me have squash with dinner rather than wine.
Baby steps.

Any progress is good progress 👌

5 months today for me!!

really feel like this is my new normal now and very rarely do I even consider having a drink. Next month will probably be the biggest challenge- heading on holiday which usually involves airport drinks, bloody Mary's on the plane and daily cocktails whilst away. Will be a whole new ball game!

oh bloody well done @HorrorFan81

There's always another thing ahead. Like on Saturday I have people coming around for what is usually a huge boozy afternoon of food and drink.

I honestly might probably have a little drinky poo, but on the proviso that it's a one-off - then I take Sunday to get my head on straight and stay off it again.

Congratulations @HorrorFan81 I bet you have a fabulous holiday and will probably enjoy the novelty of avoiding alcohol. It will mean that you're not constantly wondering where the nearest bar is or whether you need to stock up on booze. And you won't waste hours drinking when you could have just one coffee or coke or something and then go off to do something more interesting - maybe with the money that you'll have not spent on alcohol too. Enjoy your whole new ball game!

@Talkinpeace tracking sounds good, one step in the right direction 😊.

@HorrorFan81 have a fab holiday. My airport drink this time was a ginger ale. It was lovely. Then it went a bit down hill but I’m staying positive about it. Good luck 🤞

@NeedANewOne25
Yup, the app is getting grumpy at me, but I am being scrupulously honest.
Next week I'll start listening to it and cutting back
but now I know - and have a permanent record - of where from.

@Talkinpeace

I personally found taking an honest tally was very useful. Even without stopping drinking, just being completely honest with myself and seeing it in black and white. It helped me see things and put a number (not a good number, a very big and bad number) on it.

@Talkinpeace and @BezMills I thought I was being honest - at least with myself. I knew how many units I was downing every week. I knew I never had a day off. But it wasn't until I stopped that I realised how I'd also ignored other aspects of drinking. I never acknowledged that drink was waking me up in the middle of the night and keeping me awake for a couple of hours. I didn't realise it was adding pounds to my weight. I thought I had genuine reasons to nip to the shops and, while I was there, I'd get a bottle of wine. Now I know I was going for the wine - the other stuff was just an excuse. I knew alcohol was bad for people but somehow didn't acknowledge that it was doing me harm. I wasn't really being honest with myself at all because alcohol fooled me.

@LillyPJ I fully accept that my alcohol intake is why I am 10kg over 'happy weight'
I also fully accept that too much of an evening affects my sleep (especially in this heat).
I drink more than I should, but its in the form of an aperitif and then wine with a meal and more wine on weekends in the evening.

I should get back to more dry days (when I did 5:2 I was really good at that) but my head needs a steer before my body will follow.

Being on this thread is already helping as its making my assess my actions each day.

@LillyPJ definitely similar here. Having a bloody good go at being sober for weeks then months has shown me a lot. Being sober isn't the be all or end all but if you ask me would I rather be sober or where I was this time last year it's not even close.

I kind of still hope I can find a way to being sensible, and have the occasional drink or even a few sometimes. but if I can't, then I know that I must and shall choose sober. These last months have clarified my thinking, and I am ever so grateful to you lot for being by my side. It really did help, and does help.

Thank you

moderating is doomed to fail. This is because you have all sorted of rules to follow with it and you are still drinking, and sometimes drinking quite a lot that it would be a lie to call it moderating.

much easier is to just not drink then you have very few rules to follow.

good luck

@usedtodrink Yes - I don't think moderating would work for me though maybe it could for some people. I was constantly trying to moderate when I was drinking - 'I'll just have one tonight', 'I won't drink on Tuesdays and Thursdays', 'I'll use a smaller glass,' etc etc. But there was always an excuse and once I'd had the first sip, alcohol was in charge and any idea of moderating went out of the window. I did used to think it would be nice to be able to have the odd glass now and then. Now I wonder why I'd want to. There seems little point in risking it and I feel so much happier and less anxious without it.

Many of my friends drink moderately.
I shall emulate them.
If I can get my dry days up to 4 a week all will be well again.

I agree there are many moderate drinkers around. I think some people are just more susceptible to overdoing alcohol - and maybe other things too. I gave up smoking after over 25 years of 20 a day. After six months or so I decided it would be nice to have the occasional one. The first made me feel sick and dizzy, but for some reason I was soon down the shop every day buying fags again and it was much harder to stop the second time. That's why I'd be nervous to attempt moderate drinking, yet plenty of people seem to have no problem doing so. I hope it works for you if that's what you want.