On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining, no judging, keep on being strong, new thread autumn 2024

[Nowstrong]

@Amdone123, @Freezingfeetwarmheart , @Bigbus,@Flumpywoo , @FiveShelties , @ForeverTipsy, @Hohofortherobbers,@Jbob1976,@walliedug,

Wanted to post and old thread wouldn't let me, so took the plunge...
Please tag everyone, don't want to leave anyone behind.

Still AF here and even starting to enjoy it. Nearly 2 months. Will write proper post later..
Hope you are all doing well. Stay strong. Wet vibes, 'cos it's raining.

Hello to all! Gosh! You are doing so well! I've had a quick catch-up read and am impressed by how well a lot of you are staying AF. Still same old here. Mostly AF. I don't count the days anymore as I rarely do have a drink, and it's really just one. I'm really pleased that I've gone from being a very regular drinker to a very rarely one. So I can go for weeks without one and have one beer (but not a great fan) or one glass of wine. I must admit that my taste buds seem to have changed, as quite honestly, I don't really like the taste anymore and I don't want the woozy floating feeling either. Would much prefer a soft drink or watered down fruit juice.

So, will continue my AF journey. That, at last, I'm really enjoying, or not really thinking too much about anymore.

Sending lots of encouragement and positive vibes. Stay strong!

@Asyoulikeit123

I too definitely upped my drinking during the pandemic, and probably very similar levels of drinking. I found it really hard to get started (with stopping, I mean)- it was never the right time and there was always some reason or other to drink!
One reason I'm persisting is exactly because I found it so hard to stop. I am a bit scared if I start drinking again I'll be right back to square one and I prefer whatever square this is!
I wish you bon courage, and you have any support I can offer on the thread- same to all of yous.
You can do it.

@Asyoulikeit123 how are you getting on? I think cutting down is hard to do and even harder to sustain - I know my DH isn’t doing so well with it and I just look at him and think it would be so much easier if he just quit for a while!

I am at 9 weeks today! Have lost 10 pounds after a very very slow start and am sitting here fresh and ready to go to yoga - CANNOT believe how much my life has changed for the better in such a short amount of time …. @BezMills as you say - giving up was HARD and I prefer whatever square we are at now!

anyways - hope you’re all having a good weekend and I will not drink today.

11 weeks today, feeling good for it. I've been on a massive gym kick the whole time, with good results.
Even when I have a bad day, I can say I've done well to have this run of sobriety.
Keep on keeping on

Hey everyone, Day 82 for me today and I found out that I'm pre-diabetic, so have been referred to do a course with the NHS National Diabetes Prevention Programme. I knew I needed to cut down on my carbs and sugar, and that my fatigue wasn't right. My BMI is 28 and has been for years, and now I'm mid-40s it's all in my middle. Weird as it sounds, I'm excited to start the course and hopefully be supported to lose weight and be more healthy. My mum died of diabetes mellitus Type 1 related issues (along with the alcoholism) aged 59, and I'm determined not to go the same way.

Well done @BezMills and @Seenoevil33 for your weight loss and fitness! I'm in awe. Really hoping if I get my diet under control I may have more energy to do some fitness (I kickbox once a week and walk 10k steps most days, but know I need to find time and energy to do more).

As Dave Pearce used to say...we continue...

@ForeverTipsy what a bummer! I’m a long time type 1 diabetic and if you devote some time and effort to it, then it is manageable (although a pain in the rear!). I’ve followed a low carb diet for years and it is honestly transformative (and I speak as an ex-breadaholic).

you will quickly learn how things affect you but I find rice, bread, pasta and fruit to be no go foods for me - I can eat potatoes occasionally but generally don’t bother! Luckily I don’t have a sweet tooth but if you do then sugar free treats or dark chocolate are best (keto things are great for this).

One thing for sure, your 82 days af is a great achievement and will help with all of your health goals.

im lagging behind you all in terms of days, but you all give me the strength to carry on day by day (and I know if I hit desperate times, I can always post here). When I gave up skmoking I had loads of cheerleaders but drinking doesn’t seem to attract the same attention, so sometimes it can feel quite lonely …

@Nowstrong you are living the dream! I too am feeling like the not drinking has just got normal for me now - I even forget to mark my tracker for a few days whereas when I first quit I couldn’t wait to get a day ticked off!

im still scared to have that first drink, but I’m just going to wait for a really special celebration and pray that I can stop at 1! Won’t be anytime soon as nothing big on the calendar until summer ….

@ForeverTipsy I am sure laying off the booze will be a help with everything. Good luck!

@Seenoevil33 thank you for your advice. I have to boys who live on pasta, rice, bread and fruit and we tend to eat similar things. Looks like I'm going to be hungry ! I also have IBS so can't have too many things like beans, lentils/pulses and brown carbs as they're too fibrous. I usually have a banana and whole nuts for breakfast mid morning, sandwich, fruit, and low-fat yoghurt for lunch, then normal family dinner like curry, spaghetti bolognese or fajitas for dinner. My problem is having biscuits or cake with my cups of tea, cereal bars, chocolate and sweets etc as a pick-me-up when tired. But I know this is all interconnected so I'll have to be hungry for a few weeks till it stabilises, then hopefully I'll have more energy and fewer cravings? I've got a massive sweet tooth and always have ..!

I know what you mean about it feeling a bit lonely giving up alcohol. Though I've never smoked, I know plenty of people who have and then quit, and you're right; there is way more support for them it seems. Good job we've got this thread 😊

@BezMills yes, my kidney function came back borderline too, so good job I've not been drinking. Appt with GP next week to discuss.

Barely slept last night so off for a very early night now. Hope everyone is doing well, thanks for the support.

@Seenoevil33 sorry it’s taken me so long to reply! Moderating is working in that I’ve gone from drinking daily to drinking 3 days a week and I track my units which is very eye opening so it as now become a habit most of the time to subconsciously know how many I’ve had. I would like to cut down a bit more and I’ve had a blip here and there. I don’t really what to give it up but I also don’t like being really drunk or having hangovers anymore so I’m hoping to continue with the moderation.

it sounds like everyone is doing really well staying off the booze. I was wondering if there is anyone left on here who is moderating? No worries if not, and I’m super pleased for those of you who are meeting your goals of abstaining.

Hi @DrFroggy good to hear that you're getting on better in moderation, so to speak!

I've gone completely af and I guess I started with the idea of a reset, then moderation in the future. I just don't think it's time yet. The fact that I'm going through some stuff and pretty sad a lot, and really fancy a drink, just kind of tells me it's not time yet.

More power to you, keep on keeping on!

👋 wanted to join if that’s ok? I’m a Graduate from the Dry Jan thread and then Damp Feb and still on my moderation train. Will read back a bit of the thread.

Welcome @Addictforanex !

Hello all, I'm on Day 86 and feeling good. I'm not sure what to do two weeks today when I get to my target of 100 days. I'll be abroad on a sunny holiday with my husband and the kids. Right now, I think I'll stay sober. But I would like to moderate at some point, I think.

@BezMills thank you! Love the username - am a Les Mills fanatic 😊

Yes, sorry, welcome @Addictforanex ! You'll find us a friendly and supportive bunch - come here to vent or use it as a reflective space and for accountability 😊

100 days will be amazing, I’ve only ever done 31 (pregnancies aside). Not sure I have it in me to get to 100.

I’ve always been a pretty big drinker but not really realised it as I was surrounded by people that were exactly the same and it felt utterly normal. Then my husband went too far, revealed himself as a full blown alcoholic (hiding his drinking, lying constantly … I won’t go into all the trauma but it was horrendous) and is now my ex-husband and suffering with what is probably late stage liver failure.

Since becoming a mum and getting older I can’t handle it in quite the same way (and there had to be at least one sober parent) so naturally I began to drink less and always did Dry Jan. Jan 2024 I got the Try Dry app and started tracking consistently so have lots of data. I realised that even though I thought I was drinking less than my earlier days (and I no doubt was), I was still drinking about 25-30 units a week, mostly weekend binging and sometimes I would drink on my own - kids in bed, I’d be a bottle of wine down. I found it hard to stop when I started, but didn’t find it hard to abstain Sunday to Friday.

I further cut down in September last year - after a very boozy August of 180 units - thanks to a holiday in Italy and wine every day starting at lunch time. And since Dry Jan this year have been more consciously trying to moderate to an acceptable level. Had 20 dry days in Feb (52 total units) so was pretty pleased with that, but it’s crept up a bit in March, 21 dry days so far and 78 units…

But am heading to bed now after 2 Sentias with ginger ale and looking forward to being hangover free tomorrow.

Ah yeah you have taken an important step by tracking things @Addictforanex. I did a first go at calorie tracking in July which alo included logging the booze. It was shocking to see how the units mounted up, especially at the weekends

Ah the holiday boozeathon is very familiar!

21 dry days is a good effort for march, which has seemed endless and a bit dreary this year

@Addictforanex welcome - nowstrng I believe is moderating and I expect some of us will progress to that once we feel more confident!
@ForeverTipsy you are so close now! The dilemma of what to do at day 101! I’m going to carry on as I am (but if I was in a sunny place that resolve would be tested!)

was in a filthy mood yesterday and really wanted to have a drink - one of those I’m really bored with it all and what’s the point days. Didn’t drink and glad of it today…
@BezMills you're eight about March lasting forever. Hoping for a sunnier mood in April.
I will not drink today!

I don't know where you all are, but I'm in the SW of England and we've had lots of lovely warm sun these past couple of weeks?! Problem is that sun = drinking for me!

It's funny @Seenoevil33 if I'm in a foul mood I don't tend to want drink, more a comfort food eater (or take myself off for a bath and early night person). However, I've really noticed when I'm in a very good mood, I really crave a glass of fizz or wine then! I think these 87 days (and counting) have done wonders with re-programming my brain and habits. If I'm in a good mood and fancy a drink I notice it, pause, remember the good times, imagine tasting it...then distract myself! We were holiday clothes shopping today and every time I walked past a restaurant/cafe people seemed to be drinking. It did look tempting tbh!

Sober Mother's Day tomorrow. Not sure I've ever done one of those in my 14 years of motherhood...!

Hi all, just checking in since my last update, still a mix bag really, I don’t want to socialise in the local with my pub mates due to the state we always get in and last time wasn’t fun as I was the sober one so I’m missing my local social life which is crap but at least I’m not drinking until I pass out.

I had a few glasses of fizz with my mum on Mothers Day ( well Martini Asti as it’s her favourite so not sure it can be classed as booze 😆) but knowing this time last year we were told she wouldn’t survive the cancer and is still here proving everyone wrong seemed like a good day as any to celebrate and it was such a lovely day with her and Dad!

I’m bloody pleased with how I’m doing, I think I’ve drunk twice in March ( if you count the Buck’s Fizz from my last update) so to go from drinking daily from lunch until bed to twice this month is amazing but I wouldn’t say I feel any better, the voices have disappeared and so have the spots but I just feel the same, I don’t jump out of bed in a morning , my skin isn’t clear like a 20 something year old and nor do I have an unlimited amount of energy which means I want to scale Everest, I’m just me and notice no difference at all ( but I’m sure my liver is looking better and happier!!!)

I’m just reading everyone’s updates and your all doing so well, 🥳 those of you who have stopped for a few months now do you feel energised and like you could run a marathon??

@alcoholfreelife you're doing really well!

I am definitely feeling better and fitter. This morning I had a burst of energy this morning after school drop off and felt like I could have run home! ( I obviously didn't)

Overall I'm up and down, it's impossible to guess how much is the effects of sobriety and deboozification, and processing frozen or suppressed emotions and trauma. I've had a rough old time these last five years. For sure very much to be grateful for, but a lot of what I call spiritual wear and tear.

I've spent three months making good choices every day and physically I definitely feel a lot better.

If I just stop and think back to January first, I'd bite your hand off to be here and now. SO actually I've played a blinder, I just don't always fully appreciate it.

I'm going to KBO.

Morning all! Did a quick catch-up read. Welcome to the newbies! Nothing spectacular going on here. Same old, same old.

Had my sister for a visit and did have a few drinks with her (mostly to make her shut up). However, was quite shocked when she hit the hard spirits after dinner once or twice. As a sober on-looker, it is very amazing to witness how a person becomes when over the limit by even just a little. My friend who had come to stay also asked me later if she had sobered up since. We are talking about an elderly "lady" who has just had a few too many, but it really does make me think about the effects of alcohol in general, and how it shows you in a very different and unflattering light to others.

Anyway... apart from those few drinks, not particularly enjoyed, it's all back to my new norm. AF.

To answer @alcoholfreelife I don't always feel like I have tons more energy (I am 70) but I do sleep better and am generally more active. I walk nearly daily and I am thinking of taking up running. But still in the 'thinking" bit. I swim 2 - 3 times a week and go the the gym for weights, etc., 2 times a week. But I don't feel hyper fit. Especially when I look at others. I'm not at all supple, stiff as a broom stick. But when I look at some of my younger and older friends I think that I am the most active, but then they rarely drink, so has nothing to do with being AF. It's just that I enjoy being out and about more, or take the time, or push myself. Skin is lots better though. But reading about how being AF takes time to be really seen/felt, it most probably depends on so many factors that it's difficult to measure.

Still battling the war of the bulges, but I have lost 5 kilos in all. I think that is because I have finally stopped nibbling. That is my main battle now. Having a drink (tea, coffee, water) but not give in to the urge to eat something.

That is enough waffling for today. Got to do some housework, then out for a walk, catch a coffee at my friend's place, do some shopping. Same old, same old. Weather here is chilly (hard frost over night) but clear blue sky. So will be lovely to walk and see the flowers peeping through the grass. That is when I DO feel more energetic. Being out there, doing things.

Sending lots of positive vibes to all. This is not a rehearsal and it would be a pity to spoil it all by not taking care of ourselves. Keep on keeping on, stay strong and love yourselves.

Morning, isn’t the weather glorious? So good for the soul.

I am still on the moderating train. Ended up with 22 dry days and 86 units in total in March. Whilst that’s isn’t amazing, when I compare to last March it was much improved (14 dry days and 118 units).

So far so dry in April (yes I know it’s only the 2nd today :D)

@Nowstrong so interesting how you see the effects of booze on others when you are sober. And well done on the activity and weight loss 💪.

Hi all. An evening of drinking last night. And now the anxiety. I never learn!
I go weeks without a drink, but seem to make up for it in one night.
I know it'll pass, but I'm feeling rubbish anxiety wise. Thankfully don't seem to get the symptoms of an actual hangover.
Just wanted a vent... have a good Sunday!