Hi all, could I join please? I’ve named changed because my old user name was “Ineedwine” so new name new start!
Basically I’ve been a heavy drinker for years, I’m not sure if I have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol or have a drink problem but right now I’m reassessing alcohol in my life and hopefully making better choices.
A bit of a backstory is I’ve always been a heavy daily drinker ( think 1-2 bottles of wine and either a couple of beers or gins everyday), I did try and cut out a few days here and there but I wasn’t very successful at it, I run my own business with my husband and we have no children so I live a fairly relaxed life and can do what I want when I want within reason, I would often go for champagne breakfasts or boozy lunches with friends, come home do some work and open the wine at 3-4ish and drink all evening or go out drinking, every evening,
I should add my husband is teetotal and always has been, he’s never commented on my drinking but always says he supports every decision I make and he’s there for me if I need him, sometimes he passes comment or will step in especially if my health or safety is in danger but mostly he just supports me from afar which I suppose is the best thing a partner can do, you can’t change people it has to come from yourself.
I decided to do dry January as my mum has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer after living a very healthy lifestyle so no booze, cooks fresh and regularly goes out walking with my dad and it suddenly hit me really hard not only that I could lose my mum but also that if she’s got cancer after being relatively healthy what the hell is alcohol doing to me, it was like a huge lightbulb went off inside my head and I went into panic mode, so I’m now tackling booze head on,
Dry January was a huge success in that I didn’t touch a drop of alcohol ( me and my husband are going through a lot of zero beer though) I did have cravings ( and still do) I counted down every single day of January until I could finally have a drink on the 1st Feb, which I did ( I went on an all day bender and spent the Sunday in bed regretting the drinking) I didn’t drink then until Valentine’s evening last week in which we went out for a meal, hubby got me a bottle of fizz and about half way down it I had enough.
All in all I think I’m doing remarkably well for saying how much I drunk, I probably should have sought help with my problem/addiction from the Doctors rather than going cold turkey but in some obscure way I have my mums illness to thank for it, if she hadn’t been diagnosed and rushed to hospital seriously ill I don’t think I would have quit, her illness really has been the turning point for me, and I just needed to stop drinking, the reason I’ve joined is that I’ve been reading this thread since December and amazed at how your all doing and the support, what I have to decide is if to be teetotal or just cut back to special occasions? I haven’t drunk this week and don’t feel like I want to but I also have this voice regularly in head telling me to open the wine, I just don’t know how to keep the voices out so it would be lovely to join and have people in my life ( albeit anonymously) who understands how bloody difficult quitting/reducing alcohol intake is, my family and friends whilst supportive don’t understand this daily battle I have in my head and tell me just to have one, so I’m now saying no to socialising as I’m just not at a point where I can go to a pub or restaurant without ordering alcohol especially with their constant “one won’t hurt” comments so in a way I’m self exiling myself and I think I just need to surround myself with people whom understand it and can help me navigate how to be me without booze, my husband is really proud of me but he doesn’t really understand the voice as he’s never had it being teetotal so I hope you don’t mind me being here xx