On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining, no judging, keep on being strong, new thread autumn 2024

[Nowstrong]

@Amdone123, @Freezingfeetwarmheart , @Bigbus,@Flumpywoo , @FiveShelties , @ForeverTipsy, @Hohofortherobbers,@Jbob1976,@walliedug,

Wanted to post and old thread wouldn't let me, so took the plunge...
Please tag everyone, don't want to leave anyone behind.

Still AF here and even starting to enjoy it. Nearly 2 months. Will write proper post later..
Hope you are all doing well. Stay strong. Wet vibes, 'cos it's raining.

I’m doing DJ but all the autumn was dry Sunday or Monday through Thursday (previously only Monday was likely to be dry). It’s back to being a habit, and DJ has made me see trigger times like pre-dinner, if I get through those the evening gets steadily easier. So I am hoping that weekends can go back to how they were before covid, when I could happily make one bottle of wine last a whole weekend- or run out and not care. Before stopping, I would see half a bottle as just enough for an evening and might want something to supplement it with, rather than ‘oh great, I still have half a bottle left from yesterday’. That’s something I need to change back to how it was. If o can’t then will have to consider being dry every day except really special occasions.

ETA I see I am repeating myself, sorry! And without a drink in me too!!

Well done to those of you doing dry January, you are doing v well! And if you break it one day, then don't worry you can get back on it. It's still better than not abstaining at all

I do like this attitude. I’m trying not to be a perfectionist elsewhere on life so will hold this thought close!

Hello everyone! Loving all the positive posts on here - how awesome we are!

@AlertCat your message resonates with me, too. Covid really changed my wine habit. I think it's true for a lot of mums. Drinking wine at home most nights became so normalised. I'm enjoying DJ after a damp autumn (but boozy Xmas/NY) and going to try hard to do 100 days straight.

So so true about breaking habits...I noticed one of my triggers was getting off a work call at 8.30pm last night and immediately wanting to pour a glass of wine. Also going to the pub = wanting a pint of cider. These lifelong habits will take a long time to break but I'm feeling determined lately.

Onto Day 4 and been giving it so much thought about whether to just moderate or go as long as I can! After reading so many threads I’m gonna go with trying longer term but using the same method I used to quit smoking - I will not drink today - this I commit to. If I want a drink tomorrow I can have one (and rinse and repeat).

i am not perfect and expect to have failures - the drinking habits are so ingrained after so many years, but every morning that I can commit to just that one day will be a million times better than my current …

I think "just for today" is super powerful.

Good luck, keep at it.

Hello everyone I’m still checking in. I used to be Bigbus but messed up my user name. I’ll change back to Bigbus when the next thread starts. Well done all the DJs out there. It’s not something I do but definitely trying to reduce intake after a soggy Christmas. I would say much less soggy than a few years ago so that all better. Had one mad night - seems I still don’t learn from the hangover!

Morning all! Been absent for a while...Have been mulling it all over, as you do.
I'm mostly AF now, but do have a drink from time to time. Had a very big birthday recently, and of course, have to have a glass of fizz, or two, to celebrate getting that old.
So, I now just have a glass of whatever, but only if I really want one. More often than not I don't. That has become clearer in my mind now. However, still not completely AF, as I DO have a glass once every 10 days or so. Which isn't bad at all, for me.
I've therefore gradually gone from a daily over drinker to one or two, once a fortnight, more of less. Personally , that suits me fine. In fact, a very nice glass of wine has nearly become a treat. To be enjoyed and not glugged down very quickly to get a "high".
I no longer get cravings, boredom drinking is now herb tea, hot chocolate, sparkling water, whatever. I now consider having a drink on my own as quite shocking😇.
I do still nibble though. But one battle at a time.
So, that's my update. I'll be away travelling a lot for the next 2 months, so I'll be reading the thread, but perhaps not commenting.
Would like to thank everyone on this thread (and the previous ones) for their help and inspiration. You all helped me through my change of attitude towards alcohol and its consumption.
Wishing you all strength. Love yourselves. X

That's a great update, maybe close to what I'm aiming for in the fullness of time. For now I'm calorie counting as well as AF. The AF definitely helping that. A big number birthday in June is definitely a factor for the big push, ngl.

What a great result - that’s my end goal - to only really have a drink for a reason and for it to be the exception and not the default!
hubby back on the wine last night - I am not and am now on day 5 - my longest streak in years! Had 1 cbd drink last night and that was a game changer!

Hope everyone else is doing great and feeling great.

I’m posting a lot! Mainly to give myself the motivation and accountability to keep it up! Anyhoo last night was the first Friday without wine. Once I get to 8pm I’m ok but from 5 to 8 is a real battle …. Out for dinner tonight but I am driving -will stick to soft drinks and see how well I socialize without my crutch!

day 6 today.

Today was a struggle ngl, I just really fancied a drink. I've made it to just about bedtime, so dodged the booze bullet for one more day

well done - you’d enjoy the drink but probably not as much as you think and I’m sure you feel good today for resisting.

I’m feeling you! Today I woke up and just thought I’d like a wine tonight. Clearly it wouldn’t just be one wine but. It’s still in my mind. I feel a bit flat.

not giving in - it’s not as bad as day 1 and I made it through that….

I struggled today, too. DH and I always shared a bottle of red on a Sunday evening whilst watching tv after kids gone to bed. I was craving it from about 3pm, mostly because I'm bored. But realised I would feel awful tomorrow as would have failed myself.

Friday is 31st Jan, so not long to go to my first milestone of 31 days. It is getting easier day by day.

Stay strong all!

Yeah I'm glad I didn't cave in! I could (if I had time) make myself a 21 Days chip, which I'm quite pleased about.

I quite like the I Am Sober app for badges/digital milestones. Can't wait to see this say 100!

Oh that's a nice idea, thanks for sharing

Seems like sundays are hard! At least we all made it through without a drink.

i can’t imagine being at 31 days - that’s a huge achievement!

Day 9 already! Yesterday was easier thankfully- busy day here and won’t be back home until late’ish so hoping for another good one x hope you’re all doing well and sticking with your goals …

Well done on Day 9 @Seenoevil33 !
I missed the wine on a Sunday too .... roaring fire and large glass of red while the roast is on was always so my thing.
Then I remembered I used to be too sleepy after the wine and not want to do anything like go for a walk or take my daughter anywhere.
This Sunday I was reading and crocheting and listening to my dd aged 14. I was present and really listening to her which was lovely . She so deserves that.
Every day gets easier but Friday nights and Sundays a little be harder
I'm 8 weeks today 🙏
I can honestly say it really really does get so much easier
Most times when I think I miss it I remind myself that the thought will only last less than sixty seconds
In the first few days / weeks that happened a lot
Now it's occasional and I really do enjoy trying all sorts of soft drinks when out for dinner
Well done though !
You've done the hardest bit x

One thing I particularly miss is if I'm cooking up a storm on a Sunday - I would often have a glass of cook's wine.

Well done on Day 9 and well done on 8 Weeks.

Thanks @BezMills
Wow I had my first alcohol related dream last night. I've read on here this is a thing, but I've never had one.
So in the dream I "accidently " poured and enjoyed a cold glass of bubbly only to then "remember " I wasn't drinking ! I was so disappointed in myself because I'd ruined my 8 week AF streak and I didn't even really enjoy it. It was quite scary actually.

I had a few of those when I was giving up some other habit in the past. It seems to be a way of processing things.

@mumzof4x huge congrats for 8 weeks! You have a great point about remembering the negatives of drinking - that’s what got me here in the first place …. Is your plan to quit for good?

@BezMills you are nearly at a month - you must feel so happy with your progress - will you carry on with your quit after this or are you planning to moderate?

I am finally at day 10. Most days are absolutely fine now and I am FINALLY sleeping well. Would always wake up around 2 or 3 but sleep right through now!

snowed in today so will be a long day!

@Seenoevil33 thank you.
I have tried to moderate over the years and it always creeps back up to every night again.
I was reading around going completely sober for a year or two prior to this and then I had a heart attack and it was a no brainer. I didn't even drink that much. Never got visibly drunk just functioned iykwim.
I knew deep down that if I couldn't moderate I had to just quit so the heart attack was the trigger.
It's actually easier than moderation as I really don't think about it as much at all ... it's just off the cards so to speak.
Now i find myself occasionally contemplating moderating but have to accept it will never work for me.
This is ridiculous I know but I missed it mostly on two occasions : firstly the evening we as a family traditionally decorate the Christmas tree 🌲. This is always done with a decent bottle of champagne and I so missed it. I tried everything but I was in a foul mood !
Secondly DH and I occasionally book a log cabin in a wee village we found in wales. There's a hot tub and we escape from the dc for two nights and sit for hours drinking bubbly and reading books .... again I really missed a glass then. I must have been such a misery guts!
So on 1st Dec I will have abstained for a year and if I still miss it when we decorate the tree I have decided I will have one glass of champagne.
I can never moderate but if after a year I can have an occasional glass of wine- I mean like the tree and maybe a wedding or special night away then maybe but I'm guessing I won't be bothered by then - or hoping not anyway !

Hi @Seenoevil33 thanks for asking. I'm at 23 days or so, last drink was Sunday 5th. I'm going to stay "aff it" as we say in Scotland, for all of Feb and then we'll see.

Day 11 here. Still doing good and trying to work out how I want life to look after this initial AF period. I don’t think I can ever trust myself to start drinking at home again so that’s gonna have to be my main rule. Problem then to decide what’s acceptable socially.

however as where I live we get a boatload of snow during the winter, I have a few months to figure it out … off to yoga tonight so that’ll keep me straight. Out Saturday for a meal but neighbour knows I’m not drinking so that’ll keep me should be ok (fingers crossed).

@ForeverTipsy are you at 31 days tomorrow? Huge achievement x

i would live to carry on until the end of Feb but can’t jinx myself - at the moment I’m still just committing each morning and trying to not give a thought to tomorrow. Hubby isn’t doing well and I’ve noticed I’m getting a bit judgmental - hilarious really given I was pretty much matching him drink for drink! On a positive note, our house is absolutely heaving with alcohol (quite literally we have 2 full on bar areas) and I have not been remotely tempted.

@BezMills @mumzof4x hope you’re both doing well and shining brightly!