@Onewildandpreciouslife I am so, so sorry about your mother. I am glad you were able to get there, despite the rail network's best efforts. I hope she is comfortable and peaceful. Wishing you strength for now and all that is to come.
@WendyWagon - sorry to hear that your DH is still so poorly. No wonder you got lost with the dog, I expect your mind is in about a thousand different places at the moment. I hope that he gets admitted today and then they can get to the bottom of what's wrong and he can begin to mend. Much love to you.
@cookiebee your words are never frivolous! It's great to read your progress and your thoughts. I really hope your scan goes OK next week. ❤
@EastCoastDamsel I'm glad you had that time with your DF, even though emotions can be conflicted, especially if childhoods and families are not as they could have been. I don't know what's worse really, a sudden loss, a longer one with time to say goodbye and what needs to be said. Probably least of all the "it's time" and then sudden rallying - my heart really goes out to @Onewildandpreciouslife with this. My own lovely DF went suddenly, without any warning. He dropped me off at work one morning and was gone 20 minutes later. It was a terrible shock. But sometimes I wonder if that was not the better, kinder way. I don't think he would have been a good patient in a prolonged struggle. I miss him a lot; he was often the voice of reason and kindness in a home where it was sadly much lacking elsewhere.
@ShyMaryEllen - I used to have wonderfully creative ideas when drunk too. Every SM post was witty and clever, every plan a guaranteed winner. Utter b~ll~cks all, in the grim, craven light of day, of course.
Sorting out lies ahead for me too. I must keep myself busy - distraction and occupation are key for me in the temptation wars. I'm trying to do a little bit at a time. Small, manageable things that make my home a little bit better. Sid and I live in a tiny, one bedroom housing association place. I am very, very lucky to have it. It's much better now but for a long time it was in a dreadful state. It looked exactly how you might expect the inside of a house belonging to an addicted person who has not been coping with life for a number of years would look. Horrible. As part of recovering, I paid a house-clearance company to help me with the worst, just to make it bearable. Now it is really quite nice. It is clean, but still a bit cluttered. So Sid and I have tackled a lot in the last few week, when not at cricket. Now the season is over I shall be tackling bigger areas. The cupboard under the stairs tomorrow, methinks. Just one box at a time. Little things that aren't overwhelming, but which help to make the place just that little bit better. Lurking somewhere in there is a stepping machine that I bought off a late-night shopping thing (when drinking) in a short-lived self-improvement fit and never used. I shall be pleased when I find it - it will hopefully, finally, become money well-spent. Although it will probably unnerve Sid.
@Marchpane123, @Cattery, @Beachfront, @Chance21, @CockerMum @BoneTiredandWired, @FlakyPanda, @SeasideRock, @SylviaB, @Steppered, @Orchid09, @happyasagrig , @Wazzzzzuuuuuuup and @Phoebewillow how are you doing? Hope you're keeping well.
I am so sorry for all of us who are finding events and life a bit challenging at the moment (me too). Choppy seas, as @ShyMaryEllen says. And the Wine Witch/Voldemort of Vodka always whispers so soothingly at us when we are at our lowest ebb, rat-b~st~rd that it is. The "I deserve this" or "I need this to get me through... or however can I bear it?" Don't listen. It's a lie and it will make you feel worse than you already do. I'm sorry.
I posted this on the last thread, and thought it may help someone if I shared it again. It's called Keep Going, by Edgar Guest.
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
And the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than it seems
To a faint and faltering man.
Often the struggler has given up when he
Might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are.
It may be near when it seems afar.
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit.
It's when things seem worst that
You must not quit.
I've often repeated to myself those last three lines. My sincere apologies if it sounds trite and glibly offensive in the face of your present trials. Some of what you're dealing with is among the worst that life has to throw. - But I share it with you now with love from me and Sid.
All strength and much love to you. x