The support thread for anyone trying to lead an alcohol free life.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome. We are a bunch of people (mainly women) trying to give up alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans who can offer advice and signposting.

We don't encourage moderation purely as it can be triggering for some to read.

I'm Wendy and I'll be the captain of the ship for the next two months or so.
I gave up drinking in January 2022.

Apologies for the random tag. The app is possessed 👻 @Onewildandpreciouslife
Thank you @REP22 and you are of course right @ShyMaryEllen , ODAAT always (but it is nice to have a countdown for progress) .

Sorry to hear about the kids. I don't want to be glob but you sober now and now you know better you are doing better. It's all we can ask of ourselves really.

Aah thanks @wendywagon, I’m feeling better for making the call. Got some dates in the diary now for counselling and CBT. It’s going to be messy for sure and I’ll feel all the feelings of course as I wont be using alcohol. Best invest in a journal to offload everything into.

Day 73 is bloody brilliant @EastCoastDamsel
I have just downloaded the I Am Sober app. Day 2 today. Small steps!!

@ShyMaryEllen @REP22 is 💯 spot on. We are only human, we make mistakes, many of us over and over, despite our good intentions we don’t always make the night choices but they have been our only option at the time. When I look back i have plenty of regrets, I can go to some very dark places, but I have to let it go. Difficult in the wee hours of the morning. But please be kind to yourself now. Your children can enjoy improved relationships with you as adults and that’s so good? I had terrible relationships with all my family right up until my twenties, I’m 47 now and love them all to bits, despite their failings. The hurts of the past belong in the past.

None of us are alone. Thank heavens I found for this group.

xx

Morning lovelies hope everyone is doing ok we’ve got this!! In need of a good nights sleep the weather has been so hot down south!
try not to complain it will soon be Christmas 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
been reading everyone’s post it’s been lovely to see so much support and encouragement I find it really helpful.
thank you @HarperSabrina i will enjoy the concert a lot more sober last time I went to see my favourite artist I was drunk and missed chunks of the night which I was gutted as I had waited along time to see her and paid a lot of money.
I hope all goes well with your brothers birthday meal, you can do it!! I had a few soda and limes in the pub on Sunday and I really enjoyed them.
I plan to keep reminding myself to play the tape forward and stay strong I don’t want waste anymore of my time on alcohol and its effects.

thank you @REP22 and @Orchid09 for your words of encouragement so many post to keep up with but I appreciate each and everyone.
have a great Wednesday

Good morning shipmates.
It's raining here on the downs.
I had a manic day yesterday with DD to the hospital then further fights with an airport parking dispute.

Some amazing news about the skincare company I headed up. It could secure my much longed for retirement from the corporate world. Funnily enough I didn't think champagne. That's a first!

@shymaryellen you have done an amazing thing by stopping drinking. Your adult DC must see you differently now?
Both of my DC hate alcohol. My DS buys AF beer. My daughter hates the taste and with her chosen field of study would not go down the booze route anyway.
We are proud of you. Your sage advice is always helpful. Lots of people who were on this thread when I started are no longer posting. I often think about them and wonder how they are. Perhaps they are still reading, I like to think so. It is great to have a veteran on here. It gives hope for long term sobriety.

Massive congratulations, @WendyWagon ! I’m so pleased for you!

I hit 6 months this week - I can’t believe the difference in my life. Or rather, I can’t believe how little difference there is - I thought ‘losing’ alcohol would be awful but my life has continued perfectly normally without it.

So much that I thought was alcohol-dependent just plain isn’t. I’m nicer, I remember more, I am healthier, I wake up feeling better… the only thing that hasn’t happened (that I was rather counting on) is weight loss.

All of the lovely people here told me a sober life was a more enjoyable life and I didn’t think that could be true. I’m so glad they were right 💕

@HappyAsAGrig that's fantastic. So good to hear. Congratulations on 6 months 😁

Thank you!

To all the recent joiners on our road to sobriety, welcome! I hope this group is as much help and support for you as it’s been for me.

I agree with @WendyWagon @ShyMaryEllen time is a great healer and I’m sure your children do/ will see how far you’ve come and are grateful for the mum you are today.
my children 21/17 have seen the worst in me I know there will be a time in my life where I will be held accountable for some of the things I’ve done or said or not done during their childhoods it’s one of my biggest regrets. I was a single mum and a weekly binge unfortunately was my coping mechanism whether they was with me or not.

That sounds brilliant @WendyWagon !

Many congratulations on hitting 6 months @HappyAsAGrig 🎉🎉 and it’s wonderful to hear you’re loving sober life. Sobriety really is a superpower, isn’t it?

It is, and you played an important part in helping me get there, back when I was MalbecJunkie and couldn’t see anything good about a life without alcohol to numb the pain. I can’t thank you enough for helping me reframe my thinking when I was struggling. It made a world of difference.

Chronic pain is still there, but so much else has improved. And I’m not skint - I can’t believe how much money went down my neck!

DH started drinking again every weekend a couple of months ago, which is a bit of a challenge. However, the brief wobble at the thought of a nice cold glass of wine with dinner is nothing in the face of remembering what it was like to be in thrall to booze. So on I go 💪

Congratulations and a big well done on achieving six months amazing you should feel proud @HappyAsAGrig

Thank you all. You are very kind, but whereas yes, all I can do is look to the future, I still have to live with the fact that my lovely children didn’t get the childhood they deserved, and this is my fault. I have tried to concentrate on making things good now, but it’s not as simple as that. It’s all very raw just now, and I need to find a way to deal with it in a way that helps them, rather than excuses me.

Congratulations on 6 months, @HappyAsAGrig! I know every day counts, but psychologically the milestones are so much more than the sum of their parts.

Welcome, fellow travelers. Sorry - I’m being very self-absorbed, but I’ll sort myself out soon, I hope😊. It’s good to have you on board and I’m looking forward to following your progress.

@ShyMaryEllen please be kind to yourself. Like you said you can't change the past. Just continue being the best parent / human you can be now.

@ShyMaryEllen I am doing this for my kids too. It’s in my daily pledge on the I Am Sober app.

Youngest is on the cusp of leaving home for university. I want her to have a reason to want to come back, not for her to be glad to escape. It’s a strong motivation.

Be as kind to yourself as you would be to one of us here, and keep putting one foot in front of another. You have a cheering squad here whenever you need one.

@ShyMaryEllen sending you hug 🤗 it’s ok to be self absorbed especially with all the emotions your going through.
things can only get better I’m here if you need to chat I understand what your going through

Brilliant milestone @HappyAsAGrig , that's fantastic.

@WendyWagon that sounds exciting! Please keep us posted - Sid and I will keep everything that's legal crossed for you and the success you deserve.

Strength and love. xx

Day 3. Feeling fab.

Amazing work!! Congratulations @HappyAsAGrig I got goosebumps when I read your post. I’m the same. My son will be going to uni (if tomorrow goes well!) and I’ve said to him that I want to make the most of him while he’s home and he agreed it was a good idea. This is the boy who told me that he hated me when I was drunk, he can’t stand me when I’ve had one drink, who has seen me at my absolute worst. But he wants to do things together.

@ShyMaryEllen There is hope for a brighter future and brighter relationships. I never thought I’d repair my relationships but I’m trying and that’s all I can do. Could counselling help you make peace with yourself? I have heard that in AA they recommend you apologise to people you may have unintentionally hurt whilst drinking, is that enough? Sending you huge hugs and love and light xx

congrats @HappyAsAGrig you absolute star!!!

big hug to lovely @ShyMaryEllen these things will pass and at least you have changed and got the sobriety you and your kids deserve. you cannot change the past and our journeys are what they are for a reason. if you never fuck up, you never get the opportunity to change and to recognise how precious life and sobriety are.

@Orchid09 you go girl!!!

love and peace to all

@REP22 don't think i could do this without sid!!!

@WendyWagon roll on a brilliant retirement deal for you if that's what want, our skincare queen.

@Chance21 the concert will be all the better sober and not queuing door overpriced warm alcohol.

@Itsrainingten sage advice a ever

@HarperSabrina @Wazzzzzuuuuuuup great to have you onboard

@Onewildandpreciouslife thanks for watching over us

i feel very grateful for my hard earned sobriety today. whatever feelings or cravings emerge tomorrow i will face them with a clear head and a bold face.

we can do this ladies.

@EastCoastDamsel @NextPhaseOfLife waving at you two who are nearish to me insider days.

sorry hope you can decipher my typos.

Glad your feeling better @Orchid09 hope all goes well with your son for tomorrow, my daughter has just finished 3 years at uni had her graduation last month which I didn’t drink at.
she also has told me in the past she hates it when I drink to much when I used to go to far she would give me the cold shoulder for weeks it was heartbreaking.
ive been lucky in a sense she still wants to hang out with me I don’t think I’ve got any chances left with her to use though which is understandable.
@WendyWagon sorry didn’t mention great to hear about the job/ retirement I hope everything goes in your favour!!
I could do with some skin care tips I need to turn back time!! 😂 any magic cream about

But not in a spooky / scary way I hope @ponzusoup 🤣🤣

Day 13 here, and still following the One Year No Beer 28 day challenge. Today's reading is based on Daniel Kahneman's research that suggests the way we feel at the end of an experience defines our menory of it, so staying to the bitter end of a night out is really less than helpful, and making an earlier dramatic exit is much better psychologically.

I went to meet friends in a beer garden at the weekend. The weather was glorious and the ladies were into their second bottle of wine when I arrived. I ordered an AF beer which was a reasonable beer garden dupe but (unlike actual beer) I certainly don't want more than one. As I saw people getting a bit tipsy I was honestly relieved to be able to leave. I just felt like we were on different planets.

This week I've been drinking lime and mint cordial with soda, like and AF mojito, ginger ale and lots of plain water. My energy levels are definitely higher and I feel I've succeeded in the first non drinking tests.

Well done to all who are just starting out, and for those who are continually committing to staying sober. I think you're all marvelous.

Morning all.
I'm glad things are going well all around.

6 month whoop to @HappyAsAGrig

Thank you for all the good wishes on the skincare news. I am moving over to something new shortly and it will be a grown up job. Certainly no partying. It's thrilling and a bit scary at the same time.

@Chance21 I don't actually use masses of treatments.
I am fond of a good creamy cleanser, Tropics. Liz Earl, Eve Lom.
Moisturiser I am using a company marine cream spf 35,, not launched yet. Again Clarins, Lauder, Shieseido are all good.
I like a scrub or liquid exfoliater twice a week. Personally I can't use Clinique but I quite like the Aldi one. I think it the men's!
I have a vitamin C serum that I use at night and that's about it. Low maintaince really. I don't have botox or injectables as my contracts usually forbid it. I had my nose done years ago but that was because it was broken as a child.
When I first gave up the booze I had a laser on my red veins. I managed three sessions. It worked but it was painful.

Morning all, well done on day 13 @Wazzzzzuuuuuuup .Nice to hear from you @ponzusoup and @Onewildandpreciouslife

Amazing milestone @HappyAsAGrig .

Doing well here. I dug out a old abandoned crochet project last night after being reminded of it in another thread on this board. The suggestion was to do a granny square for every day of sobriety and then have a nice blanket at the end of a year. Well, luckily for my, the languishing project had 62 squares already completed so I only have a few to catch up on and then I can be back on track. I forgot how much I loved making things with my hands.

Hope everyone has a good day today.