On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining - new thread for summer 2024

[Bigbus]

@amdone123 @touty @coppergate7 @swannyb
@Hohofortherobbers @YoghurtPotWashingMachine @Mj20 @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

The last thread got full before a new one could be started. I’ve tried to tag some of the regular posters but I don’t really know what I’m doing! Let me know if this works and please tag people I’ve missed.

hi everyone. So so fancied a drink tonight, it’s Friday and I feel after this week I need a drink to just relax, luckily I haven’t got any in so I couldn’t, I know I will be glad tomo morning for it . Been fine all week but tonight really felt it 😥😥 so tempted to buy a bottle of cider tomo and then wait until next weekend again

Hiya I’m wondering if I could join here.

I started drinking regularly a few years ago, in early 30s, before that I didn’t bother with it much, even though I have PTSD and physical health issues since my teens , I just never took it up.
Something happened and I started drinking a glass to help sleep, then that quickly went to two, then half a bottle wine, then eventually led to a bottle every night plus more on weekends. During lockdowns it got even worse to well over 100 units a week.
I felt like shit most of the time, some days all day drinking if off, trying to hide it from family, started getting withdrawals sometimes, pins and needles in legs.

It’s crazy how it catches up on us.

Eventually around 2 years ago I had enough of feeling Ill all the time, and trying to hide my drinking. I was scared to stop, but somehow I worked out a plan to reduce, telling myself I could get through one night if I can drink the next night, keeping busy setting a rule of no drinking before a certain time and maximum 10 units, try for 8. Switched to beer because takes longer to drink.

I have 99% stuck to this for 2 years. I know it’s still 28-35 units a week, but way better than before.

My issue is the PTSD is still there, the health issues (not alcohol related) still there, general stress still there.

I actually look forward to my non drinking nights some days now, and I want to stop completely or at least cut down to 20 or under units a week. This year I’ve been trying to reduce, but have only managed a few weeks of under 30 units. I did 2 x 2 week stints completely no drink (hard), a couple of one weeks, lots of 2 days not drinking rather than every other night, reducing to 6 units sometimes.

I get a lot of cravings, which I struggle with, and struggling with going more than 2 nights. I’m happy I’ve cut my drinking a lot, but I really want to cut more. Hoping to make a plan and post for accountability.

Sorry about really long post, I have been completely sober today at a funeral, and also yesterday cause had to get up early, and seeing some family members relationships with alcohol has reminded me of where I was, and spurred me on to reduce more.

Hi @talatala welcome on board. I just wanted to say a quick hi as I'm falling asleep here.

Sounds like you have done a lot of reflection and that you know your limits somewhat.
You can definitely be accountable here.
I'll message properly later.

Hi @talatala welcome to this brilliant group . You sound like you got a grip on it which for me I envy , I seem to be all or nothing. This group is so supportive and best of all honest, I’ve found posting such a relief and help , take care

Evening all. Still AF, but only by the skin of my teeth. Really struggled this evening at the little tavern I was at, and asked if they had any small bottles of beer, which I can live without generally, but felt an urge. They didn't and as I'm not a big beer drinker and didn't think I could handle a big bottle and hate waste, had sparkling water. Managed to resist wine, but mainly because I couldn't face a hangover tomorrow morning.
So goes to show, that nearly a month in and it's still a struggle sometimes. But feeling good about resisting.
Am thinking too much about the past at the moment and would like to find an off switch. So finding relaxing difficult. Just keeping myself as busy as possible. Have lots to visit, it just spoils my quite moments on the beach. Could be worse, shouldn't complain.
Not nibbling at the moment either so hoping for a slight drop in weight next time I brutalise my scales. But perhaps a bit too much bread with my meals might go against me. Bugger.
Welcome to our newcomers and sending sunny vibes full of strength for the battle against the WAW (wicked alcohol witches) as they are in all forms, wine, beer or whatever your preferred tipple is. Bitches. All of them! Sorry not tagging as complicated on my phone and don't want to lose my text. Stay strong!

Morning all,

I didn’t reach day 7 af, was having a real nice day at theme park yesterday until about 4 ish. Received text from ex regarding getting calendar sorted bout having our child , that was ok but it escalated into something not nice, instigated by me and i don’t know why? That resulted in me stopping off at Aldi and buying some ciders which I drank last night, I knew when buying them it was wrong and when drinking too. I didn’t even feel like I had a drink but I felt I needed them to numb me. Even after the spat on text and me calming down I couldn’t resist . Why???????? Why ?????? I now feel awful laying in bed, feeling really low, lower than I would do under circumstances , hating me that I couldn’t say no, feeling let down my son who I promised I wouldn’t drink for whole month, I am on my own tonight when I drop off my son and I must not drink . Why do something to yourself knowing it’ll only do u harm. This is so hard dealing with the break up and trying to give up booze at same time . Why am i like this? Why can’t I be strong and ride it out? I know have this horrible down feeling that’ll last all morning until it lifts and I’ll be anxious now thinking about drinking tonight . Why can’t my life just be happy and I can enjoy a drink like a normal person 😢😢

Hi everyone. Not posted for a little while, but all is going well - am on day 30 today. Still not had any cravings. Haven't noticed any amazing positive benefits as yet (apart from feeling smug yesterday when my husband was peaky after a night out!). Hope you are all doing well.

Welcome @talatala 
@SisterMaryLuke wow that's a fabulous achievement well done 30 days is awesome.
I've been a bit quiet recently just had a lot on with work report and first grand daughter's christening (which was beautiful.... love seeing all my babies together) We scrubbed up well !
Back to AF for me all week and will moderate today
Planning some nice AF drinks but I get so bored of the same thing .... what's everyone sipping AF ?
My go to is sparkling water or soda and fresh lime with oodles of ice
Oh and lots of tea ..... Yorkshire / chia / earl grey all with a dash of soya milk

Morning all, still having my ups and downs so reading other's' achievements is very encouraging.
@Jbob1976 you did well with your 7 days. You had one off day. Just continue AF, you're doing fine considering where you've been. Stick to this even if you have slip ups, no one is perfect and can get it right straight away. It takes time.
@SisterMaryLuke wow! Am impressed especially that you don't get any cravings. Well done and lucky you. I do get the smugness though, even after just a few days, because so flipping proud of myself !
@talatala proper welcome today! Don't be shy here, long post, short post, the important thing is writing it all down and the community help that is genuine here, no judgements, just encouragement and empathy.
Last night was having meal with fuzzy water, with the bill came traditional shot of local alcohol, which I declined saying that I didn't drink alcohol. Would have loved to be able to taste it, but then I would have been on a dangerously slippery road back to day 1. Could do that. Couldn't face an eventual hangover either. Getting quite used to waking up more or less like a normal human being.
AF Day 21, nearly a month. Getting there slowly. My aim is to remain AF for as long as possible to really get rid of all the cravings that also seem to go with it. For food, nibbles, sweet snacks, you name it, I'll nibble it.

Whoops sent post by accident hope no spelling mistakes...
Sending positive vibes to all. Got a full and busy day visiting and enjoying myself.
Stay strong! Love and respect yourselves. I find that helps too. Says struggling beginner but hey ho x

Morning, folks I'm going to catch up properly later.
I've had good n not so good. Drank Friday but managed to not yesterday, so feeling good today.

I'm definitely af til Sunday - got no choice - overtime, grandchildren all day Saturday ( puts out Friday notions of drinking) and Sunday I'm out so do not want to be hungover.

Morning @Nowstrong failed again last night, my ex done something that new would hurt and get under my skin , so I ended up doing what I do best, go and buy drink. I felt so angry this morning, at what they done and fact I drank again . Definitely af now until Sunday when it’s my birthday , my son is staying and I won’t buy any, that’s the key . This whole break up is taking it’s toll, well the whole year has and I just want to get move on but so hard

My weekend was messy and I drank way too much and slept way to little. Also smoked some fags as if that wasn't bad enough.

Nothing else for it other than to keep trying. Solidarity with you all this week x

@YoghurtPotWashingMachine that's what I always think - just keep trying. I have lots of armour to fight it - mental and physical - and I still fall off the wagon.
But, I keep trying.
@Jbob1976 you're going to have some challenging moments and I hear you - it's awful when you're annoyed with yourself. We just don't forgive ourselves as easily as we might forgive others. It's a new day today - one day at a time.
@SisterMaryLuke well done on Day 30 - that's brilliant, you're doing really well.

@talatala how's it going?

@mumzof4x congratulations on the christening and welcome to the Nana club ❤️. I've had my 2 all weekend - they're so beautiful.
I'm.very boring I'm afraid - I've tried all the af drinks and they're mostly rubbish. Sparkling water I love, and tea and the odd coffee for cravings.

@Nowstrong 21 days is so good. I'm very impressed by your progress. Try not to worry about the nibbling too much ( I know you want to tackle it though) ; I think it's perfectly normal when you don't drink.
Enjoy the rest of your holiday and one day at a time.

Morning everyone

@Nowstrong thank you for your kind words
@YoghurtPotWashingMachine i hear you, I don’t smoke but my weekend was the same, all we can do is keep going and trying
@Amdone123 i do beat myself up and think I always will 😢

went af last night and was ok, slept ok and feeling better for it. I hate mornings, always wake up thinking bout my ex and feeling down . It’s nearly 2 weeks now and no signs it’s going away yet. In regards drinking I plan to have couple sat and sun as my bday. Af up to then I confident I will be. I do miss it, but I know I have to try and break this no matter how hard it is. I couldn’t have more support with everything but I still finding everything so hard. One day at a time but just want to fast forward a year so pain has gone and I have this drinking under control , dreaming again

@Jbob1976 You're doing so well managing to stay AF when you're having such a difficult time. I know it might not feel like it but you are really strong.

Thanks @YoghurtPotWashingMachine tbh trying to stay af would be hard anytime in my adult life as it’s 30 year habit . In a way tho the break up has helped me weirdly with it as I know the depressive thoughts are so bad it drives me, some times tho I can’t resist like last weekend and give in. 7 of 9 days af this month so I must take that as positive. I know I’ll fail again and again but I have to accept that

Hello, mind if I join you please? I have been reading this thread for a few weeks and think I am ready to start properly cutting down. I've name changed as think, for now at least, one of my long-term goals is to just get tipsy instead of drunk. I'm a bit of a binge drinker but approaching mid 40s and want to make changes for me and my children. I come from a long line of alcoholics on both sides and have witnessed first had what it can do. Going completely tee-total doesn't seem an option for me right now, especially as husband drinks most nights and what little family I have left all drink.

Can anyone please recommend an app for cutting down on booze? I'm using the NHS Drink Free Days app but finding it a bit all or nothing. Ie, I was on holiday last week and was really proud that I moderated, but because I'd had a small amount of alcohol I couldn't then tap the star icon and log a booze free day. So felt I'd failed. I mostly just have a glass of red wine at home in the evenings during the week, but am trying to swap to hot chocolate.

Anyway, just a short intro. Nice to meet you all and just wanted to say how impressed I've been with some of your stories...keep going.

Evening all! Had a lovely day visiting and I should be going out for a wander around and a bite to eat, but I'm still in a T-shirt and knickers browsing through flipping internet. Couldn't put my finger on what's wrong. Came back to this thread to have a browse too. And now I've got it! I want a drink. A nice cool glass of wine, to look cool and not "so serious " with my sparkling water. Ridiculous I know. But at least I've got it out of my system and now I'm putting some slacks and lipstick on and I'm going out to look cool, sipping my fizzy water. I won't get a hangover ! I'm starting to see a difference in my face now I'm AF, too vain to lose that. So thank you dear readers (must stop watching Brigderton), I've now sorted myself out mentally. It was really cathartic to be able to write that down and now act upon it.
Wishing* you all a lovely evening , will come back tomorrow to let you know* how my evening went.

Goodness knows why some of that is in bold
Mad IPad ?

Hi @ForeverTipsy welcome onboard !
I can't help you regarding the app, but if I'm counting af days and only have say, 1 glass of wine and a beer, I do count that as af. Because it's the binge drinking I want to avoid.
Someone on here may be able to recommend a suitable app, though.

Hi and welcome @ForeverTipsy the Drink Aware app might be good for you - if you stay under 6 units in a day the colour is blue instead of orange, and then it gives you a overall risk factor for the week which is something along the line of 'if you regularly drink like this you have a lower/moderate/higher chance of alcohol affecting your health'.

@Nowstrong I love the way you write, I feel like I'm sitting and chatting with you. It's also funny (when intended!). I know what you mean - yesterday evening I was getting a bit grumpy and knew it was because I fancied a glass of wine 🤦‍♀️

Thanks @enough I'll have a look at the Drink Aware app. Something like My Fitness Pal where you can set targets, look up drinks or scan a barcode, then track progress would be great. I do love a visual on my phone I can screenshot and share (If I want to) to motivate me.

@nowstrong I love the way you write too! Lying there in a t-shirt and knickers scrolling the Internet 😂 I know what you mean about a glass of wine looking cooler than a glass of water. We've been conditioned by society and advertising for so long now, that we believe we're cooler, more glam and trendy etc when we have a glass of alcohol in our hands. I even think photos look better when people are holding a cocktail or glass of something nice. Need to un-learn all that now.

@amdone thanks for the welcome!

Morning all! Well I was good and cool. Had a healthy dinner and didn't spoil it with a drink. This morning I swear my baggy eyes looked less baggy.
Welcome @ForeverTipsy, and thank you for appreciating my prose. I enjoy writing it all down and yes, @enoughisenough4, i AM chatting to you, if not with you.
However it is so very true that having a glass in hand does seem to be the socially accepted norm and I've even read somewhere that people who are moderating or abstaining are using wine glasses to drink AF beverages in. It looks "better" and no questions asked.
A couple of days ago I walked up probably a hundred or more steps to a remote monestry, in the heat, visited the said place and was then offered a glass of water (very needed and appreciated) and a shot of their local alcohol, which I very politely refused, saying that I don't drink alcohol. The response was : "oh! so serious !" I was slightly surprised that at 10 am after the effort in the heat, it was nearly considered as being anti social to not drink. That is our daily battle and why it's so difficult to go AF. It's so socially normal to drink. No one bats an eyelid if you don't smoke, but not drinking raises many an eyebrow.
Well, that's my morning entry and thoughts. Had a tough time at the beginning of yesterday evening but finally all went well. Am pleased with myself and I'm waiting impatiently to jump on the scales on Saturday morning to see if they love me or not.
My evening reading lately has been "how much weight do you lose when you stop drinking ?" The answers vary greatly and mainly depend if compensating with other food. I've been more or less good and pretty active... watch this space.
Have a lovely day. Stay strong. Help each other stay strong.
Dig your heels in @Jbob1976, you can do this. So can everyone else. And don't forget to love yourselves.

@Jbob1976 how are you doing? Have you thought anymore about AA?