On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining - new thread for summer 2024

[Bigbus]

@amdone123 @touty @coppergate7 @swannyb
@Hohofortherobbers @YoghurtPotWashingMachine @Mj20 @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

The last thread got full before a new one could be started. I’ve tried to tag some of the regular posters but I don’t really know what I’m doing! Let me know if this works and please tag people I’ve missed.

@Nowstrong thanks and well done on Day 11 - you're doing so well.

🤣 at the BAF - I've woken up so achey , I wondered where I'd been last night.

@Needtokickthehabit well done on Day 1 - it's the hardest day in my opinion. Take it easy today, one day at a time.

@NextPhaseOfLife yes, we sound very similar. My life was / is 'punctuated' by alcohol - not as much as it used to be. I used to plan hangovers, still do to an extent 🥴. I like how you love af beers - maybe I should try them again.
Thanks again for sharing your experiences, it's really useful.

Day 7 here and I've had the best weekend. Which amazes me really because no wine has been consumed. Well, maybe it doesn't amaze me that much, as I know well enough how awful it makes me feel.

I think we're going out for brunch - this would normally involve me picking up wine on the way home, but not today.
Have a great day, folks, whatever day you're on, you're all doing fantastically.

Day 8, not 7 🤣

You go girl!!!

Loving the positivity on this thread this morning!

@Nowstrong when I did have that break a little while ago I'd say it took about ten days for my face to look fresher, so hang on in there!

@NextPhaseOfLife thank you so much for sharing. We don't have social pressures like you describe as have DC and no family nearby so evening socialising doesn't really happen. We are very much crack open the wine and sit on the sofa/occassionally play cards kind of people but the quantities sound similar.

For a little while recently I've felt like I don't WANT to cut down, even though I need to. I feel like I'm starting to want to now, and feel like abstaining for a while would be really positive. Thinking AF drinks may be the way to go!

Good morning everyone. Glad to hear people are doing so well and staying positive.

I had too much wine on Thursday. Couldn't quite remember getting to bed. Had terrible anxiety the next day as my nieces (young teens) were staying here with their dad and I got it into my head they didn't want to be around me the next day. Turned out I was being paranoid but it's just not worth it.

Had two low-alcohol beers on Friday and nothing on Saturday. Had a few wines last night. Aiming to abstain from wine all this week. Fingers crossed.

@YoghurtPotWashingMachine sorry to hear about your bad experience. Well done for reigning it back in, though.
Keep posting on here for your af week - good or bad.

@Mj20 @Amdone123 @Nowstrong @PositiveDays @40andlovelife
Thank you all so much for your wonderful and supportive words. @Mj20 thank you for reaching out. I think you're right. If I can just get Day 1 under my belt I'm on the way. Day 1 for me is Tuesday. Tomorrow I will be mostly working but I'll plan something out of the house for afterward. A swim with dd I think. Will also walk the dog and wrap my grand daughters christening gifts for the following weekend .
It's our first grand child's christening and we have two nights booked into a gorgeous little boutique spa hotel with all the children .... have new white frock and silver heels and bag to boot ! Booked French manicure toes and fingers and booked my dh (who's a legend putting up with me !) a nice massage. Need to sort myself out and be more present for my dd 14 and my entire family and my job and for myself.
Day 1 is going to be good. I shalll try and make it a postive not a negative. Will restart the Annie Grace podcasts.
Day 2 will bring:
Better quality sleep
I step to clearer skin
Lower blood pressure
Clearer head
Less bloating ... I feel I've developed that thin body bloated tummy figure and it's dreadful.
It's been inspirational catching up on everyone's journey
Sending kind thoughts and virtual hugs to each and everyone of you today wherever you are x

Morning! AF day 12. Feeling less anxious about thinking about drink, because not really thinking about having a drink. Slept not too good last night, but that was due to a coffee that I had (I never drink coffee) with a friend, pretty late in the afternoon, and also to the fact that I was physically over tired as had been on extra long and steep walk late in the morning.
Looking a bit better in the mirror. Let's say, less hag like. Still no sign of the flipping BAF. But following "beauty" routine with a passion in the evening. So must end up reaping some results, even if very minor. Have to be honest, can't expect miracles at nearly 70.
Only downer is my friend, who I'm hopefully going away with, is not well and may be cancelling our trip. Now have to decide whether to go alone or not (not really a problem). Might have to make some changes, where possible, in reservations to minimise the cost of going solo. We'll have a talk later on, and see how she feels about the whole thing. Must admit I was looking forward to our talks and sharing our time on this holiday, so perhaps slightly disappointed if I end up going alone.
Nothing else, except I'm feeling really good mentally. Of course physically as well. But my main focus is how well I'm feeling in my mind. Very calm and not at all anxious. No "bad" thoughts. My mind is very clear.
@mumzof4x your day 2 list of positives is exact. Go for it!
@YoghurtPotWashingMachine I'm also prone to paranoid alcohol fueled thoughts. One day at a time. Well done on moderating.
@enoughisenough4 I'm hanging in on here, waiting for the "mirror, mirror on the wall" experience, if my mirror does answer, I will definitively need a drink though 🙀Strangely I'm not too much into AF drinks a the moment, I'm fine with water and cold tea. Must get my sugar consumption down though.
@Amdone123 how are you doing? Incredible how weekends can be lovely without wine. Or should I say Mondays are incredible without feeling awful.
Sending everyone lots of positive AF vibes, while humming "someday my prince will come" 😂

Day 2 done. That is pretty much all I can say.

@Needtokickthehabit day 2 is brilliant, keep going !
How do you feel ?

@Nowstrong day 12 is great, keep going, one day at a time and Keep It In The Day ( a new mantra I read about which suits me down to the ground).
I'm doing great, thanks.
Day 9 and looking forward to DD - Double Digits - tomorrow as it has been so long. Also, now I've 'done' the hard bit, weekend / BH, I'm really happy because today will be easier.
I had a few triggers / thoughts over the weekend, thinking 1 glass would be so nice but I have to remind myself it's never 1 glass. Ever.
Hope your friend is OK for your trip ❤️

Well this is the hard bit ... 7pm on my Day 1 .
Still working on a report and my head is clear
Teeth a bit clenched though .
It would be so easy to pour a Rose but I have to make this change and have to start again somewhere !
Hope everyone else is doing okay this evening
What's everyone having for dinner ?
We got left overs from dinner yesterday when I was using up left overs ! Ended up with a pretty cool purée of creamed celeriac/ cauliflower and Parmasan . Sounds yuk but was good with salmon and roasted butternut squash rounds ... honestly . I think

@mumzof4x I know, I hear you.
It's so easy to do - probably why it's such a problem for people really. And yes, if we want to change, we have to start somewhere and get over these hurdles.
I've had a good day but had my last counselling session earlier today ( dog), so I've been tearful. At work I thought I'm going home, getting on the couch and having some wine, but common sense prevailed. I am on the couch but with a fancy coffee and a cupcake. That's my tea as I've no appetite.
Your tea sounds lovely. Dh made a fish pasta dish but I'll have it tomorrow.
What can you drink instead ?

@Amdone123 fish pasta sounds yummy ! And well done on the coffee and cake.
I like soda and fresh lime
Or sparkling water and lots of lemon
Chia tea / red bush / Earl grey all with milk I find it really settling .
When I'm not trying to lose weight a 0% beer is delish !
Well i made it and Day 1 I think was biggest hurdle . It's a definite sign that I need to stop.

@mumzof4x well done on Day 1.
You'll be glad tomorrow.

Morning! Day 13. Still going strong. In fact I'm even slightly giddy headed with excitement about the achievement.

@Amdone123 fish pasta does sound delicious. At least you have a meal ready for today. Sorry you've lost your appetite and also that you are still grieving your dog. They say time heals, but never how long it will take. Fancy cupcake and coffee, does sound good, and comforting too. Hope you enjoyed both. Today must be DD! Yeah!! 💐

@Needtokickthehabit you've done Day 1, keep going. That was the hardest. If you don't manage, it doesn't matter. Day 1 is made to be done again, and again, and again. You can moan here. It will make a change from me droaning on.

@mumzof4x well done on day 1, which is the hardest (see above 🙄). I've done SO many. You seem to have the right determination. One day at a time.

My to go to drink at the moment is cold herb tea. Everyone who tries it finds it disgusting, but I'm quite hooked. As long as it shuts the WW up, I'm happy.
Talking of her, she seems to disappear slowly from my environment. I think, crossed fingers here, that I'm losing a habit. Still early days, but less cravings.
Still don't look like Snow White in the mirror, but then if I start having dwarfs hanging around I'm not sure that I want to go down that road. Also, what will the neighbours think? What with all that singing. Hey ho, hey ho..🎶.. Nah... Will continue the daily beauty regime and wishful thinking.

A major AF positive at the moment is my intestinal health (sorry if too private to share), which is, for me, quite an advantage. After years of what was nearly IBS, perhaps I've found the cause. At last.

Swimming pool for me with one of the DGDs. No encouraging news from sick friend, but still early days. Wishing you all a great day.

@Nowstrong day 13 is fantastic, you are smashing this. Great news healthwise, too - so many benefits to abstaining.
Keep going and stay as positive as always.

Yes, day 10 - it's been a while. It's funny though because I thought yesterday would be easy, a walk in the park, but obviously when my emotions were somewhat skewed and I hadn't anticipated it, I very nearly caved. It's just goes to show one day at a time for me. But I'm feeling great, and despite watching tennis through the night, sleeping well.
My next mini target is to be af til Saturday. Dh wants to go out then - normally eating, a few drinks, walking and shopping.
I'm pretty determined to just do 3 of those 4.

Thanks @Nowstrong and @Amdone123
@Amdone123 I'm so very sorry about your dog. We are so thankful for the time we have with them and just wish it was longer. 
I am going to try the cold herbal tea anyway now ! Yes it does sound grim but I will try !
So thankful to be waking up with a clear head
@Needtokickthehabit are we on the same day here ? Day 2 ? How you doing ? Don't know about you but for me the thought of not pouring the wine was worse than actually not doing it .
Writing in the AG journal my list of "Whys" etc helped too x

Morning all. I did have a half bottle last night but I had the best day as in positive and progressive and fancied a treat so 2 full AF days and half a bottle is not too bad I think - not the way I was going anyway!

@Needtokickthehabit that's a great result. Any improvement, no matter how small it seems (and its not btw), even if we're only trying, is good progress.
What's the plan for today?

@mumzof4x that dinner sounds lovely! Well done on day 1!

@Amdone123 well done for choosing tea and cake instead of wine, especially after such a difficult day. Time is a healer as they say so hang on in there.

@Nowstrong well done on day 13! That's amazing! It's funny you say about digestive health - I was thinking the other day that there's very little umm, digestive chat on here considering the definite effects from alcohol...!

I feel like I'm moving more towards having an AF break. I did have some wine on Monday night, and it was a lower percentage. Not a 'low alcohol' one but it was something like 10% and the units were reduced by quite a bit actually as a result. I found it just as satisfying so next time I cave I'm going to buy a lower % one. I had planned on starting my little break from yesterday but then I went over to my friend's for a craft evening and she offered me wine, which I accepted 🤦‍♀️ hands were busy though and didn't go overboard, so I'm counting that as a teeny tiny win but also a bit of a fail!

@enoughisenough4 I think that's a good win, as going overboard is the main issue for most of us !
My friend switched to an 8% wine, a blossom hill strawberry spritz I think. She enjoys it.

Talking of digestive issues ( 🤣), I was thinking the other day how when I go to work and I'm hungover, I'm often nipping to the toilet. I hate it.
Going to work nice and fresh is such a deal breaker for me.

Evening, folks, how are we all doing ?

Oohhh, massive craving at work - massive. Managed to run past tesco on the way home 🤣.

A few things stopped me

1. remembering how rubbish I feel the next day, including stomach pains so thanks for that reminder @enoughisenough4 !
2. even though I'm fine emotionally, I'm certain that if I drink, I'll start crying about the dog
3. posting here - I announced this morning I'd got to day 10. Then I'd have to say, actually, no, I haven't - I'd rather not do that.

@Amdone123 also have the craving tonight, which is silly as I've had wine for the last two nights in a row (not too much in one sitting but still). I try not to drink multiple days on the trot and here I am thinking about wine on what would be day 3! DH mentioned it in a passing way earlier so I think that's probably what's kept it in my head (not his fault of course, totally my own responsibility!). I'm going to try not to mention it but if he does suggest it I'm not sure I'm strong enough to resist tonight! Why is it so hard???

Well done on running past Tesco 😅

@enoughisenough4 it is really hard but even though I haven't listened to a lot of Craig Beck on YouTube, I keep thinking about what he said - anything we try to change, whether it's our diet, our fitness, our health, it's difficult.
Basically, anything worth doing.

I would struggle immensely if my dh drank, so hats off to you, because it's doubly hard I think.

Morning! AF Day 14, am really impressed with myself. Can actually feel that halo growing!
Must admit @Amdone123 that imagining you doing a sprint past Tesco did make me smile. Well done on the extra sport that you put in your AF day. 😂It's true, anything we try to do for our own good, is extremely hard. Plus any benefits are really slow to show, which makes it harder, as no carrots to bribe us on. Sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it. Going without something (well lots of things) that you enjoy. For your mental and bodily health. But then again, if I hadn't started enjoying them in the first place, wouldn't be "suffering" now. So good/healthy life choices, do suck sometimes. But determined me here is going to keep on trying.

@enoughisenough4 I think the cravings DO tend to fade away. It's the "oh, just one glass won't hurt" thought that takes longer to disappear. All the work of the WWs. in my opinion. Did your OH bring the wine possibility into the evening or not? Hoping that he didn't and that you managed that extra AF day. Well done on your crafting evening, keeping your mind and hands busy does help to moderate. Am useless at crafting, a big regret of mine. No patience though...

@Needtokickthehabit you are making progress and if you're feeling more positive in yourself, that is good. Baby steps, one day at a time.

@mumzof4x how are you doing?

Got another busy day here. Sport, DGD and sick SIL for lunch (have to help how I can), then lots of planning and programming future holidays. LOVE making plans. Plus usual home keeping and cleaning. Going away on Sunday and hate leaving a messy place. So changing sheets, etc, which is always a chore, to make sure everything is washed, dried and put away before I leave. How boring! But keeps me out of mischief (read : wine).

Sending very "fée du logis" vibes to all. Spick and span inside and out! Death to the WWWs!