On a mission to moderate or absolutely abstaining - new thread for summer 2024

[Bigbus]

@amdone123 @touty @coppergate7 @swannyb
@Hohofortherobbers @YoghurtPotWashingMachine @Mj20 @Freezingfeetwarmheart @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

The last thread got full before a new one could be started. I’ve tried to tag some of the regular posters but I don’t really know what I’m doing! Let me know if this works and please tag people I’ve missed.

Day 14 @Nowstrong , so impressed here, too ! Don't let that halo slip 🤣. You are on a roll, sounding more determined with each day.

I often think You Only Live Once. In fact, that mantra put a stop to many a dry spell. Now, I've changed my mindset - yes, you do only live once, which is why I'd try to make it as long as possible. And drinking like I was would put pay to that idea.

How did you get on @enoughisenough4 ? Whatever choice was made, it's a new day today.

Day 11 and I'm so glad I did my Usain Bolt impression past Tesco.
I slept so well, my weight is slowly decreasing and I'm happier overall.

@Amdone123 @Nowstrong it got to 9:30pm and the craving started to go, then DH mentioned it ten mins later so it was back and he hot footed it to the shop before it closed 🤦‍♀️ it was another 10% so slightly fewer units and no extras. But still, it was also day 3 in a row so I'm not sure I can count that as a win anymore! He is away next week and I don't drink when he's not here because we have DC.

@Amdone123 yes he does drink, but he is also quite judgemental of me if I can't moderate. He is very good at stopping when he should and never ever gets to that out of control state. He doesn't understand the 'let's have another one'. This is why I never drink when he's away just in case I take it too far (I'd like to think I wouldn't!) but I just don't take the risk.

Morning all
@Nowstrong day 14 is brilliant !
And @Amdone123 well done on the sprint past Tesco .. not sure I'd be that strong. We live in the middle of nowhere and literally have to drive down the hills to find a shop which helps
Day 3 for me today ... not day 14 but day 3 is amazing for me .
I've too lost weight but got sort of (huge) issue with my BP which has worried me. On three lots of meds now and still not coming down
Was 168/118 once last week !
I think if I open a bottle of wine I'll likely pop.
What's everyone planning for the weekend ?
Enjoy the sunshine hopefully wherever you are x

@Amdone123 funnily enough, when my abusive and alcoholic ex died, much too young, even if I was glad to be rid of him, it did make me step back and think hard about life, my children, their grief, my grand kids, my own health. So in a way, he did do me a great favour. So I think the "only have one life, make it a good one" should over ride, "you only life once, to hell with it all". Musing all this over, then I get run over by a bus. 😱

@Nowstrong 🤣 - it should definitely have a more positive slant ! And watch yer step....

@mumzof4x well done on Day 3, you're doing really well.
Hope your blood pressure issue improves ❤️.

Weekend will be tricky for me. Dh wants to go out once the grandchildren have gone home. I think I can abstain though. I'd really like another af weekend so thinking about it, that can be my next mini - hurdle. Thanks !

Live!!! Can't spell!

So tempted again. But only momentarily, just quite strong !
I didn't cave to the temptation because I don't want to feel ill tomorrow. Simple as that.
I don't want to drink tomorrow evening either, as it will sabotage my weigh in on Saturday, so, so far, so good.
Hope you're all doing OK.

I'm tempted again as well. Today would be day 4 if I caved. I'm not sure why the continuous days are happening, normally the day after I don't fancy any 🤦‍♀️

@enoughisenough4 I would never start this late, so I'm safe.
My cravings happen during the day. Plus, I don't have it in, which is a good thing.

@Amdone123 I've started 🤦‍♀️ DH went to the shop to get something for his dinner (I was out at a craft group) and I made a joke about fancying it again when I shouldn't 🤦‍♀️ he understood the assignment and brought some back. So here I am, again 🤦‍♀️ I don't even know why

Hi all, haven’t posted in a while. Went through a phase of drinking far too much but have dialled it down massively in the last few weeks. I was afraid to stop cold turkey because of warnings I’ve read. So now down to a couple of ciders each night and hoping to do Sober September. Tomorrow will be a test because I’ll have that ‘Friday night feeling’ but I don’t want to undo all my reduction work.

@Amdone123 I've poured a glass of rose but it's the only one in the house.
I do feel disappointed but it's the only one glass. DD had an entire afternoon issue (additional needs ) and I've now had to work until almost midnight. It was a bad one.
I'm being all defensive aren't I ?
Sorry x
How's everyone doing ? X

@afaloren well done on cutting back so much that's a huge achievement !
Sober September is a great plan too .
Have you ever tried the Annie Grace 30 day experiment ? I followed that for a month (it's free) and it was so good.

Morning! Day 15 today. I'm starting to think less about having a drink in the evenings, my weak moment. Which is good.
@Amdone123 definitely looking left and right when crossing roads at the moment...
Whatever reason you're using not to drink, is a good one. Not wanting to feel crap the next day certainly is an excellent one. Wish my weigh ins were inspiring, but at the moment no loss. Even if I'm being SO good. Flipping infuriating.
Sadly, I'm going alone on holiday, which is a pity, but hey ho, my friend getting better is the priority, she caught something nasty in the tropics, and it's contagious. I rarely drink when travelling solo, so I'm pretty sure that when I come back I should be a whole month AF. That would be bloody amazing!
@mumzof4x I think you're doing fine, with everything on your plate at the moment. You do how you can to cope. No excuses needed.
@afaloren welcome back! Cutting down and then sober September sounds like a good idea. Rooting for you to fight against that urge to let your hair down this evening. Don't listen to the witches.
@enoughisenough4 back on the wagon again! Doesn't matter. You can do this, because you've already managed 3-4 days. The amount of times I've done day 1 must be at least 365...
Hope you all have a good Friday. Weather here is lovely. Got a case to pack. Sending positive vibes to all. SSS!

Morning, folks !
Gorgeous day here, absolutely beautiful. I have to walk through fields and up n down hills to get to work and it was so lovely.

@afaloren well done on cutting back, that's so good. I understand the Friday night feeling, the problem for me is it leads to Saturday morning and feeling awful. It helps me so much to play it forward. Keep doing your best, do you have a plan for tonight ? Will you try to just have a couple of ciders, say ?

@enoughisenough4 lots of times I drink and don't understand why. I don't even enjoy it sometimes, yet I still do it and @mumzof4x one glass is great. Sometimes we cope with situations the only way we know I suppose. It's a habit and probably the nature of addiction.

@Nowstrong Day 15 is absolutely fantastic. You are doing so well. Your holiday I'm sure will be af as you're flying solo, but just think after that, you'll have a whole month to your name. It's so long since I did a month.

Day 12 here and honestly, I wish I could bottle how I feel today. Yesterday I had a very short Pity Party - thinking I'll never be able to drink again. Poor me !
This morning I'm striding through the woods feeling fit, healthy and happy and I thought why would I want to swap this state of mind for a hungover one ?
Sorry if I sound like Pollyanna but I'm so optimistic and I'm not even having any doubts about the weekend - I'm just not drinking.

Have a great day folks, keep on keeping on ❤️👊

Morning all, back from holiday and my world has fallen apart, after a drink fuelled conversation last night my 16 year relationship is now over and I’m utterly devestated, numb and could easily pick up a drink right now. I can’t articulate the mixed emotions I had on holiday and a lot of them revolved around how much booze I had had. I’ve come to realise that over my lifetime all the grief I’ve had with relationships has been caused by the booze and what I say when drunk. On holiday I’d have a skin full every night and woke up so low every day. It was only around lunch time it would wear off and then about 2 or 3 pm I’d have another one as on hols then slowly on n off drink rest of day. My world has now fallen apart and the prospect of not seeing my youngest son every day destroys me, with Xmas and new year to deal with etc . I had to deal with this before and it took me a year to get myself back together , then I was at parents but this time I’m on my own at my flat and I don’t think I can cope without drink. I cried myself to sleep last night after god knows how many ciders and I will tonight too as it’s the only time I get relief from the pain. I wish I could be stronger but I’m not, the only way I cope with problems is by drinking and it’s cost me so so much over the years , yet do I want to stop ? Not now as I can’t see any way past it and nothing else takes pain away. With no drink the pain is always there yet I know it’s the cause. I sit here typing this crying , my son is in bed and I have to try and hold it together to take him to an appt about braces and I don’t think I can. I know this isn’t a relationship thread but a lot of issues come down to drink and how it affects me and my moods and behaviour, right now I just want the pain to go away

@Jbob1976 sorry to hear this, you sound so upset, confused and lost.
16 years is a long time. And it will take a while to be yourself again.
If I were you, I would take it one day at a time - one hour, even. Don't think too far ahead.
Can you see your gp for something to take the edge off ?
It's true about alcohol and our actions, verbal and physical. Any stupid or embarrassing or dangerous thing I've ever said or done has been as a result of alcohol.

@Amdone123 thank you for your encouragements. I also have "poor me" moments. Would love to be "normal" and be able to have 1 drink, once in a while. But I'm not like that. I don't get drunk anymore, that has got better with age. But still. I can't stop at the 1. I still have the shameful memory of talking to a friend on the phone and I could hear myself starting to slur. Had to cut it short and go to bed sober up. Have not made a phone call while drinking since.
@Jbob1976 I'm sorry you're going through a tough time at the moment. I'm with @Amdone123, perhaps see your GP for some help in coping with the pain. Be kind to yourself and don't hesitate to post here. Done and said some pretty stupid stuff when drunk too. It sometimes helps to get things out. We certainly won't judge. 💐

@Jbob1976 Please be kind to yourself. I echo what @Amdone123 and @Nowstrong have said, it might be an idea to speak to your GP for support if you are struggling, is there a friend you could confide in or stay with? You're not alone, I've done and said so many stupid things when drunk, it's wrecked romantic relationships and I've been taken advantage of in the past. The pain you are feeling now will pass and you will feel stronger, you just have to hang in there x

thank you all for your kind words, they made me cry. I’m already on strong meds , and my drinking is killing me emotionally too. My son is gonna stay few nights next week. He called on his lunch to see how I am and tonight . I’m so lucky, I have 2 best friends too who are more like family than my actual family. I keep having panic and anxiety attacks and it’s only when I’m drinking I calm down. I have work Monday after being off 2 weeks and o can’t face it. My eyes look swollen and red , I look a total mess. I haven’t drank today so far but on own tonight so will, otherwise I worry what I’ll do to myself

Hi everyone,
Have just been catching up on the thread.

first and foremost @Jbob1976 sorry to hear your having such a difficult time. It sounds like you have a wonderful son and some brilliant friends. You’ve also had some really good advice here, which I would echo the sentiment of. I think the GP is a good call, for some outside emotional help and alchol advice.however, despite those positives Please know what you are going through is incredibly tough and you are being stronger than you know . Be kind to yourself. Please tag me if you need a chat and I’ll keep my eyes peeled.

It was lovely to hear of the incredible progress @Amdone123 and @Nowstrong! your both smashing it and your journey is useful to us all so please keep posting! Also @enoughisenough4 and @mumzof4x well done of your progress too!!!!!

it’s day 51 for me….. can’t quite believe it! My mind is so peaceful! Some tricky emotions have come up recently but I know I need to sit with this and keep going. Right now I feel like I could be A/f forever. It’s Friday night and I’m finally at a point where the default thought doesn’t centre around wine!!!! Instead I’m planning a bubble bath 🧡 I’ve lost half a stone and my skin looks amazing. Sleeps a problem at the mo! Which feels a bit unfair but I’m putting some energy into some sleep hygiene and actually being A/f is letting me notice other habits that are detrimental to good sleep (mainly night time scrolling)! So will be working on that.

sorry for the long post but felt there was lots to catch up on! Sorry for anyone I missed. As I read early someone is 4 months in and I thought that was so inspiring.

keeping touch all, love and strength to all xxx

@NextPhaseOfLife ahhhhh it was you who posted about your success and shared some thoughts. Well done you and thanks for sharing xxx

@Mj20 well done on your progress so far. You've done so well ❤️
I was thinking about you funnily enough the other day. I'm on day 12 and started to think about all the stupid stuff I've said and done - in the past, I'd have had a drink to erase the memory, and I remembered us discussing this.
Also, another advantage to being af - no texting shite in the kitchen 🤣

@Nowstrong @Mj20 you have misread - I have drank 4 days in a row, not abstained 🤦‍♀️ anyway, going to have to stop that now or I really am going to have problems. The thing is I actually enjoyed it 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ I didn't have any times where I went overboard but still, it's way too much! Sorting myself out now!

@Mj20 I'm so sorry you're going through such a hard time. This may not be a relationships board but I think we can all agree that in times of trouble it's easy to seek comfort in a few drinks. I think a lot of us can relate to the content of your posts as well so you in good company and have a whole community here holding your hand through it all x

Sorry I meant to tag @Jbob1976 instead of @Mj20 in my post below